Kiranga
Platinum Member
- Jan 29, 2009
- 89,176
- 157,169
The father is to blame because there has been no contact for 25 years.
kwa nini hakuna mtu ana discuss mchango wa mama katika tatizo hili? What if the mother is telling some kind of lie na mtoto ana mashaka kuna kauongo fulani kanatoka kwa mama hapa? Why is the mother protected so much from any possible wrong doing na hii ikawa ndo chanzo cha tatizo lote hili? What makes you think only the father is to blame?
To me courage is facing the cold fact that the biological father doesn't/didn't care enough to initiate contact. And charting a way without him.
Courage is sacrificing personal curiosity for a deeper truth. Respecting facts.
The fact here is that the so called father neither showed interested nor initiated contact, even by proxy.
Courage is to face and give him the opportunity to say it to your face. That way you will have no doubts whatsoever that he really doesn't want anything to do with you.
You can't respect facts without knowing them.
And the fact 'why' he did what he did is not known yet. And she probably wants to know why.
Sijawahi kuelewa kwa nini mtu amtafute baba yake, baba ambaye hajamtafuta.
Baba si kuzaa tu bali anawajali na kuwakumbuka watoto. Sometimes unaweza kuwa much dissappointed na mtu unaemtafuta.
Why is it necessary to know why?
It is necessary to know 'why' because he did not fulfill his fatherly responsibilities.
He was partly responsible for bringing her into this world and instead of stepping up and taking care of her like he should have, he stepped down.
Now 'why' did he do that? Only he can answer that question.
Sometimes unaweza kuwa much dissappointed na mtu unaemtafuta.
That necessity would have been there in a prosecutorial quest for justice in some court like inquest.
We don't have that situation here.
The daughter can continue her life without knowing her father. She certainly has done so for the last 25 years. If it wasn't necessary all along why is it now?
You are creating unnecessary necessities here.
Human psychology is very complex Kiranga. Kuna mambo hata waliobobea katika fani hii hawajaelewa wakamaliza.
Na hili ni la kawaida sana. Ungependa kujua character traits zako zinatoka wapi. Inakupa raha kujitambua.... Kujitambua Kiranga; that's all.
Nadhani catch ni kumtafuta rafiki yake mama aliokuwa msichana kipindi kimoja, na sasa ni mtu mzima. Atatoa details
tu. Wasichana hawanaga siri hata kidogo wakiopoa kidume kinaaminika kuwa na hela. Lazima watakuwapo marafiki zake mamake huyu binti wanajua habari za baba huyo; na kutoka kwa huyo sasa tafuta marafiki zake babako wa kiume. Marafiki zake mama watamhurumia tu mtoto wampe details....
Haya we kabinti tafuta marafiki zake mamako wa enzi hizo... Kama mamako hajui JF atakuwa hajaona haya maelezo. Unaeza hata kumuuliza yeye mwenyewe eti marafiki zake wa enzi hizo wanakaa wapi: "anza hivi...hivi we mama mashosti zako wa enzi hizo wako wapi siku hizi"... pata wawili watatu; anzia hapo.
Now it's like you are speaking for her!
She is looking for her father whom she doesn't know.
That's what she wants to do.
If that's what she wants to do then it's fine with me.
... Kwa hali yoyote JF itamsaidia kwa kuanzia pia namshauri hayo majina ya baba yake yanaonyesha ni mtu wa Bukoba... nshomire fulani.. aendelee kuulizia pia katika vyombo vingine vya habari.... atafanikiwa
Mshukuru sana Mungu kwa maisha ya mama yako, acha kumtafuta mtu asiyekuhitaji. Nakushauri wewe move on with your life kwani hakuna atakacho kusaidia leo hii wewe at your age. Shida ni kumwita baba, hilo si tatizo kwani yeyote mwenye mapenzi mema aweza kuwa baba yako. Usitafute balaa, huyo hata ukimpata hana msaada wowote kwako kwa sasa. Undugu hujengwa utotoni.
Huko sasa ni kurukia kuhitimisha!
Watu hamjui hali aliyonayo huyo atafutwaye. Ikiwa ni mgonjwa aliyepooza je?
Ingekuwa labda inajulikana wazi kuwa huko aliko ni anaponda raha tu hapo ningeelewa kwa nini mnasema hivyo.
Lakini hapa ni kwamba binti hajui huyo anayedhaniwa kuwa ni baba yupo wapi.
Mambo ya nini kitatokea pindi ampatapo hayajulikani. Kama inaweza kuwa balaa pia inaweza kuwa fanaka vilevile!
Na huwezi kujua lipi ni lipi hadi utakapompata.
Kapooza miaka 25 yote? Kashindwa hata kutuma salamu?
Nyani Ngabu nimeshangazwa sana na majibu ya wadada wote wa humu JF na kaka yao Kiranga.
1. Why are they being so pessimistic?
2. Kwanini wote wanalalia upande wa mama? For one kama mama kweli anampenda binti yake angemkalisha chini na kumweleza yote. LABDA wakati umezaliwa baba yako alikataa kuwa wewe si mtoto wake hivyo akaamua kuondoka. Halafu binti aamue. Lakini eti kumwambia baba yako alikufa mv bukoba gives me doubt juu ya kuhusika kwa mama huyu kwenye mbinu chafu ya kumficha mwanaye.
3. Huyo baba anaweza kuwa na hamu sana ya kujua whereabouts za mwanae but think of it this way: baada ya miez sita akakoroFISHWA na mama mtoto ikambidi ampe nafasi/uhuru..wakati huo mtoto anaitwa bebii. Baada ya mwaka akabatizwa. Different name. Mama akaja kuhama and all that.
Do not discourage the lady...huenda na baba yake pia anamtafuta.
4. HOWEVER: I dont deny the fact kwamba baba mtu aliwatelekeza akawaacha. Hiyo bado haihalalishi yeye kutotafutwa. Mchana huu nimeongea na ndugu yangu niliyemtolea mfano hapo awali nikamuuliza kwanini uliamua kumtafuta baba yako hata baada ya mama yako kukwambia alikataa na kuondoka? Akasema sikumtafuta koz of msaada wowote ama nini...nilipomwona na kumfahamu nikapata 'ahaa' moment. Yani unaelewa why did what you did.
5. Tusiende mbali sana kwenye conclusion ya HATA UKIMPATA ATAKUKATAA tumshauri kwa wanaojua majina ya waliofariki kwenye meli ile yalipo. Then hizo conclusion zenu ziwe tu kama angalizo...kuwa mdogo/mwanetu unapoendelea kumtafuta baba yako beware do not always expect a positive answer from him.
Ila hii ya Kiranga sikubaliani nayo. Knowing both your parents plays a very big role in self realization.
There is a reason "self-realization" begins with "self" and not "father".
An individual doesn't need to know an absentee father to be self-realized. In fact there is a bigger case to be made here that you are encouraging an illusion.