Taurean
New Member
- Sep 15, 2021
- 2
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“Where’s your dad?” My friend Maria asked me with curiosity. It was a visiting day at our school
“Well, I don’t have a dad” I turned and answered her without pressure, I was already used to such questions
“Oh..! My dad and mom are already here, they’ve brought a lot of things today.. come join us” She invited me because her parents always placed extra food for me since my mother never had time to visit me at school
“No thank you.. I just hope my mom will come today. I have no appetite for your food either..” Tears were already streaming down my face
“Why? What’s wrong? You won’t eat our food today? Atleast come and take some pocket money and some needs..” She pleaded
“Thank you so much but I don’t need your help anymore.” I left while crying bitterly
“Gloria..!” My name is all that Maria would call while I was heading to the dormitory
Maria was my good friend who helped me at the times of need and depression. Since my mother never attended any visiting day at school, Maria’s parents always had extra stuffs for both of us.
The main problem was the humiliation and boasting that I would get from Maria anytime she felt like offending me.. words like “Who gave you that school uniform? Who holds your life intact at school? Who tops up your school fees? Where’s your dad?” were very easily said in public just to show others that she is my life saver
I endured it all till I went to the holiday and asked my mother why she didn’t appear at school during visiting day.. I always got the same answer
“I wished to come but I was very busy working at my part time jobs.. running several errands..”
My mother had eight part time jobs and only slept three hours a day.. but never even once did my school fees become complete. Neither my school needs nor home needs were easily attained.
Since it was my mother’s wish to take me to the best schools and give me the best education, She worked hard and slept hungry for uncountable days while always reminding me..
“Study hard and be successful, forget about men.. All men are liars”
I devoted my heart, soul and energy into my studies believing that someday I’ll make my mother’s life better.
Days passed and I grew up to a University lady.. I gave a green light to the thought of having a ‘boyfriend’. I remember dating 30 if not 40 boyfriends.. not because I was lacking but because I had no confidence in myself..
I didn’t believe I was worth loving and had zero knowledge of handling relationships. In the field of relationship, I completely proved a loser. I was lonely, I believed it was fine and I deserved it.
My biggest insecurities were about my entire life since birth
“My father left me since I was a newborn baby, married another woman and never said a word to me. If he never loved me, who will ever love me? What if I get pregnant and become like my mother who has lived all her life betting on my success.. If I loose she is finished”
I forgot about relationships and focused on myself.. I worked hard to become very successful, anytime I felt like giving up.. my mother’s struggles clicked in my mind all the time.
I earned my mother’s hard working spirit and the bitterness of revenging my father’s bad deeds always haunted me. The more I grew up, the furthest I became from the thought of having a family.. I ignored the word ‘marriage’ because I believed living myself alone was enough.
I had a big mansion that had only me and the workers, my mother lived in her’s together with a young boy who kept her company.. she was literally dating him
One day I sat down and thought again about my entire life.. Yes, I was successful and had most of my dreams attained but I still felt empty. I realized I lacked someone to confide in, someone to talk to since I was lonely and all alone throughout my life.
I finally came up with a conclusion to start a family but my psychology and perception towards the family thing was shattered and seriously torn to pieces.
I started seeking for help from various people other than my mother for the first time. My mother was a good advisor in my entire life but I could never count on her when it came to me starting a family.
I visited many psychologists and therapists because my problem was very severe.. It costed me lots of money but in the end it was worth it. I finally cleared up my mind and took ‘family’ positively.. I got a nice man who later married me and we are currently blessed with four healthy kids.
My kids are very happy.. I can clearly see my difference and their’s. These kids are happy and they learn from the both of us. They grow up learning about the importance of a good, stable family while me at their age was already broken down and valued money above all because it is all that my mother cared for.
Many women think being a ‘single mother’ is the right path that they publicly say..
“No child is as great as a child raised by a single mother”.. They think they are enough for their children, they believe they can be great fathers while playing a mother’s role
This sentence is right and very wrong at the same time. Children raised by single mothers are great but those raised by both parents are greater..
God created ‘parents’ not ‘a parent’ because every parent has something to offer in raising the best version of a child. That is why a child raised differently will struggle at a certain point in their life because somewhere in the up bringing, they lacked either the father’s or mother’s upbringing.
Parents fight.. others die but for the sake of the kids, they should always find a solution for their fight.
If the fight can not be resolved, “THE SINGLE PARENT MUST FIND THE REPLACEMENT FOR THE MISSING PARENT..”
It is denying the child’s right of being loved and cared by both parents (whether birth or step parent) when they are raised by a single parent.
Encouraging single parenting is widely ruining the new generation. People ignore the marriage rule.. they just give birth anywhere, anytime unmarried.. just because of the word ‘single parenting’.. They don’t care if they raise the child alone at all.
This might be seen as a pride to the single parent but on the other side of the coin, it hurts and ruins the psychology of the child. Children are affected widely by this without the parents realizing it because in their life, family will be the last thing to create.. they’ll value money and success other than anything.
The poison and bitterness streams and travels from parents to kids, finally there will be a generation of single parents because if you have noticed.. it is very rare for a singly raised child to have a stable family.. majority end up single parents not because they want to. It is because they have a spreading poison from generation to generation.
According to my life story that I just wrote above, I strictly say NO to single parenting.. I went through a lot.. my life was full of insecurities, mockery, revenge and hate towards my father. I had to go through a series of programs and therapies to cleanse my negative psychology.. it was really expensive, thank God for the revenge driven success I attained. Not everyone can afford this.. so precaution is better than cure.
It is the right of every child to be raised by a mother and a father. It is also the responsibility of a parent to make sure a child is getting a proper up bringing from both parents BY ANY MEANS.
Thank you.
THE END
