“Strong Blood Ties” Vs “Strong Love Ties”

[AshaDii]

Well kuna kitu kimenijia kichwani baada ya kusoma analysis ya AshaDii (Sweetie) na mchango wa The Boss na NN.

Kuna suala zima la utamaduni...ambao niseme unabeba kila kitu chetu kama jamii..kuanzia malezi, kazi, tabia...kila kitu kinafanyika kwa utamaduni wetu ulivyo

Ndiyo maana tunapozungumzia malezi ya watoto na kupendana hatuwezi kukwepa utamaduni wetu ulivyo (msingi wa hija ya The Boss) na jinsi ambavyo tungependa iwe (labda kutokana na tamaduni za wengine)

Kwanza, wazazi wetu enzi hizo (na hata sasa) walikuwa na ndoa za mitala, kama walivyosema wengine. Katika hali hii, ni vigumu sana kuwapata watoto wote ndani ya nyumba moja. Kinachotokea mara nyingi ni watoto kuelelewa tofauti kwenye nyumba tofauti na wote tunajua kuwa kila nyumba ina namna na aina yake ya malezi. hawa watoto wa waliolelewa kwenye nyumba tofauti lakini wakiwa na baba/mama mmoja, inaweza kuathiri sana upendo wao baadaye...kwa vile wanajisikia kama wageni miongoni mwao zaidi (kuliko kati yao). La kustaajabisha, unweza pia kukuta mzazi mmoja anampenda zaidi mtoto wa mke mwingine kuliko mke fulani, hivyo kuimarisha dhana kwamba mzazi kumpenda mtoto fulani kuliko mwingine haina uhusiano wa moja kwa moja na ukaaji wa pamoja wa wazazi hao

Pili niseme kwamba kwa siku hizi, ujio wa shule hizi za binafsi ambao watoto wanatumia muda mwingi wakiwa huko, na zaidi hasa zile za kulala, kuna mchango mkubwa katika kupunguza ukaribu kati ya mtoto na mzazi. Upande mmoja, kuna haja ya watoto kupata elimu 'nzuri na ya kisasa', na upande mwingine kuna kuwekeana umbali kati ya mzazi na mtoto, ambao baada ya muda unapunguza ukaribu na huenda mapenzi yale ambayo mtoto angependa kuyaiga na kuyapata kutoka kwa wazazi.

Tatu, kama tunazungumzia suala la watoto kwa mfano kukaa nyumba moja na wazazi wao wote wawili, hili nalo pia linazidi kuwa gumu kutokana na ugumu wa maisha ambao wakati mwingine unalazimisha wazazi kutengana kwa muda kwa sababu ya kazi au masomo, hivyo kwa wakati fulani watoto wanakosa upendo wa wazazi wote wawili. Cha kusikitisha pia, pale ambapo wanakuwepo wawili, unaweza kukuta ndiyo yale watoto kuambulia baba akimpiga mama na sio kuwaona wakiwa wawili kwa upendo!


Niharakishe kusema sina suluhisho la haraka la hii migongano ninayoiona hapa...labda tunavyozidi kujadili, tutaweza kupata suluhiho au njia bora zaidi ya malezi ambayo itawawezesha wanetu kupendana miongoni mwao na kati yetu na wao zaidi.

Kaizer Dear nimependa uloandika katika hii post ukilenga kuelezea hali halisi hasa in relation na hapo nyuma kidogo... However kama ulivosema hizo two last lines kwamba kuna umuhimu wa kutafuta Suluhisho which i believe haiwezi kua Universal kwa familia zoote... Pia umetoa aspect tatu nzito ambazo naamini kabisa with such an analysis lazima kuna an idea of how to come about making stronger Love ties as well as the already existing Blood ties... at least from one of the three...

Kikubwa ni kwamba tupende tusipende ni rahis kwa maneno kuliko vitendo.... as you have said kuna mabadiliko mengi kama vile Parents kuishi mbali....

 

[Azimio Jipya]

ADii

,mnt sure how deep you*intended*the thread to go ...*

but it contains very important aspects ... ulishajiuliza ... jinsi ambavyo wazazi can*polarize*the feminine or*masculine energy in the Kinds... and you know what can be the results...?

Mtoto wa kiume hates ... Masculinity ... cause Dad is more into mtoto wa kike... au mtoto wa kike hates femininity cause one reason or onather she hates mom..!

These are facts ... sasa niambie ... nini matokeo ya hii mbeleni ..

 

[EMT]

Mfano kama huu wa ukweli nilikuwa nimeupost kwenye thread nyingine. Nani alaumiwe hapa? Wazazi, watoto wenyewe, jamii au mazingira? Wazazi wa Mario Balotelli (mchezaji wa Manchester City) had asked the social services for help with their son because of their cramped living conditions, though still mtu unaweza kuuliza why did they decide to have him in the first place if they were living in a cramped conditions.

So, at the age of three he was fostered by Francesco and Silvia Balotelli, a well off white family. As the Balotelli's reputation as a footballer grew his biological parents parents asked for him back. Mario later said that his parents only wanted him back because he had become famous and described them as "glory hunters" stating that they only wanted him back because of the prominence he had gained.

But if you go back, as an infant Balotelli had life-threatening complications with his intestines which led to a series of operations. His health problems and the family's cramped living conditions meant his parents decided to ask for the help of social services who recommended that Mario be fostered.
Now inside Thomas and Rose Barwuah's (biological parents) flat, photographs of their family adorn the walls. There are pictures of their four children - Abigail, 23, Mario, 20, Enoch, 18, and Angel, 12.

But it is Mario who takes centre stage. There are photos of him as a baby and then a toddler growing up, kicking a football, in a suit at a family party and play-fighting with brother Enoch as Rose (his biological mother) looks on. But Mario is no longer a Barwuah (biological father's surname). He has taken the surname of his adopted family, Balotelli.

However, Mario was never officially adopted but made a conscious decision to turn his back on his Ghanaian heritage. He took the surname of his adopted parents and represented Italy's Under 21 side. Mario now doesn't even want to meet his siblings. Nani alaumiwe?


Biological father (left) and Mario with his proud foster parents (right)

Now Mario doesn't even want to meet his biological siblings. Hapa akiwa na ndugu zake wakati bado wakiwa wadogo

 

[King’asti]

wifi, sorry i took this long kujibu (im ok now,back to addictions,lol).
family turned out fairly well i can say. we love, we get upset, we cry, and we love again. kuna issue ya kutoa opinions bt nt making decisions for anyone. and in the end, whatever mess u ar in, u run back to family and we try to avoid the '..told u so..' part. it was nt such a big deal kwa dada kupendelewa kidizaini lakini niseme tu nadhani imamuathiri yeye binafsi zaidi kuliko sie ambao hatukupendelewa. she was used to having everything her way and now has to face the rude fact that the whole world doesnt care abt ur feelings (ukiona jidada ziiima linaface issues na kulia 'i wish mom was still alive' unajua kuna shida hapa..) lakini msingi wa upendo uko pale pale, tunampenda na kumsaidia mawazo na faraja tuwezavyo, japokua strongly and firmly where needed. manake u cant be a spoile brat at 30+yrs of age, au sio? i believe wazazi wasingeweka hiyo juhudi then mambo yangekua tofauti na magumu. in the end fedha na mali hazina maana kama huna watu wanaokupenda na kukujali wewe na sio vyako.
huyo kaka yangu saa ingine inabidi ufinye maskio wifi. ukimuendekeza mtakodisha hadi vitanda mlalel chini baada ya kuoga valuer,lol:A S embarassed:

Wifi King... now this is what I am talking about!!! Unaona the way red ina shabihiana vizuri na blue?? Pamoja na kusema kua some of you were spoiled in the family.... Family comes First! Putting Kupendana as the 11 Commandment was a really big infuluence kwa nyie kama watoto kuelewa kua kuwa karibu na kujaliana ni lazima... Labda nikuulize; how has your family turned out?? Yaani if the parents wasingeweka hio effort do you believe ingekua tofauti?? Na if you don't mind how did you feel when young (acha saizi you have grown and understand) kuona kama your sis alikua kama anapendwa zaidi??
Your wish is my command... na unajua the way i like it kids wakikutana na wangu... inawajengea kuzoeana na kujaliana huko mbeleni... Sio watoto wanakua ndugu jina but do not understand each other.... Lile ghorofa bado niko kumshawishi kakako tuishi sie kagusia kua kapata kampuni inataka kukodi.... I am kind of Mad....lol... (makabila mengine bana!)

 

[King’asti]

emt, story hii imenikumbusha biological parents wa hayati steve jobs. kiukweli, if i grew up with adoptive parents hadi nikaanza kupata chochote kitu ndo wakaanza kujileta, hiyo cold shoulder watakayoipata nadhani itafaa kwa utafiti kuona kama moyo wanyu una nyama ama chuma? kuna wazazi wali-sacrifice kila kitu kuhakikisha wanaweza kukaa na mtoto wao, or else wana-keep in touch. total abandonment, i guess that i cant bear

Mfano kama huu wa ukweli nilikuwa nimeupost kwenye thread nyingine. Nani alaumiwe hapa? Wazazi, watoto wenyewe, jamii au mazingira? Wazazi wa Mario Balotelli (mchezaji wa Manchester City) had asked the social services for help with their son because of their cramped living conditions, though still mtu unaweza kuuliza why did they decide to have him in the first place if they were living in a cramped conditions.

So, at the age of three he was fostered by Francesco and Silvia Balotelli, a well off white family. As the Balotelli's reputation as a footballer grew his biological parents parents asked for him back. Mario later said that his parents only wanted him back because he had become famous and described them as "glory hunters" stating that they only wanted him back because of the prominence he had gained.

But if you go back, as an infant Balotelli had life-threatening complications with his intestines which led to a series of operations. His health problems and the family's cramped living conditions meant his parents decided to ask for the help of social services who recommended that Mario be fostered.
Now inside Thomas and Rose Barwuah's (biological parents) flat, photographs of their family adorn the walls. There are pictures of their four children - Abigail, 23, Mario, 20, Enoch, 18, and Angel, 12.

But it is Mario who takes centre stage. There are photos of him as a baby and then a toddler growing up, kicking a football, in a suit at a family party and play-fighting with brother Enoch as Rose (his biological mother) looks on. But Mario is no longer a Barwuah (biological father's surname). He has taken the surname of his adopted family, Balotelli.

However, Mario was never officially adopted but made a conscious decision to turn his back on his Ghanaian heritage. He took the surname of his adopted parents and represented Italy's Under 21 side. Mario now doesn't even want to meet his siblings. Nani alaumiwe?


Biological father (left) and Mario with his proud foster parents (right)

Now Mario doesn't even want to meet his biological siblings. Hapa akiwa na ndugu zake wakati bado wakiwa wadogo

 

[Felixonfellix]

asante sana
umetukumbusha jambo muhimu sana

 

[Bigirita]

Aseee!!
duh!!

 

[AshaDii]

Dada mkubwa uko sahihi kbs, wazazi wengi huwa hawawezi kuficha hisia zao za kumpenda mtoto mmoja zaidi ya wengine,japo sijawa na familia km hivyo but nafurahi kwani wazai wetu walimudu kubance mapenzi yao kwetu na imekuwa matokeo mazuri kwetu kwani we real love each other,naomba nikiri najifunza mambo mengi sana kwenye sred zako,yani huwa unaongelea mambo ninayopenda kujifunza na kuyajua,thx.

Cantalisia Mpenzi asante saana na naomba tutazidi shirikiana siku zinapoenda kwa kuchangiana mawazo na kuzidi rekebishana pale tunapokosea... Mambo ya mapenzi kati ya watoto ni moja ya eneo ambalo limechukuliwa kwa wepesi saana, hivo ni vizuri kukumbushana once in a while.... Asante kwa kupita hapa dear....

 

[AshaDii]

ADii

,mnt sure how deep you*intended*the thread to go ...*

but it contains very important aspects ... ulishajiuliza ... jinsi ambavyo wazazi can*polarize*the feminine or*masculine energy in the Kinds... and you know what can be the results...?

Mtoto wa kiume hates ... Masculinity ... cause Dad is more into mtoto wa kike... au mtoto wa kike hates femininity cause one reason or onather she hates mom..!

These are facts ... sasa niambie ... nini matokeo ya hii mbeleni ..

Hapa AJ umeongelea kitu cha maana saana... The way mtoto wa kiume in most cases anapendwa saana na mamake na the way mtoto wa kike ni more a dads gal... Sometimes for the female side it is worse for some daughters tend to always fight with their moms and see their moms as enemies.... Sijui ni kwa nini hii mara nyingi hutokea; but when a gal grows up she finally come in terms with her mother...

Thou ningependa nijue hio ya femininity Vs Masculinity.... when you say hating... are you suggesting hating ones self as being male or female... OR hating the parent??

 

[AshaDii]

Mfano kama huu wa ukweli nilikuwa nimeupost kwenye thread nyingine. Nani alaumiwe hapa? Wazazi, watoto wenyewe, jamii au mazingira? Wazazi wa Mario Balotelli (mchezaji wa Manchester City) had asked the social services for help with their son because of their cramped living conditions, though still mtu unaweza kuuliza why did they decide to have him in the first place if they were living in a cramped conditions.

So, at the age of three he was fostered by Francesco and Silvia Balotelli, a well off white family. As the Balotelli's reputation as a footballer grew his biological parents parents asked for him back. Mario later said that his parents only wanted him back because he had become famous and described them as "glory hunters" stating that they only wanted him back because of the prominence he had gained.

But if you go back, as an infant Balotelli had life-threatening complications with his intestines which led to a series of operations. His health problems and the family's cramped living conditions meant his parents decided to ask for the help of social services who recommended that Mario be fostered.
Now inside Thomas and Rose Barwuah's (biological parents) flat, photographs of their family adorn the walls. There are pictures of their four children - Abigail, 23, Mario, 20, Enoch, 18, and Angel, 12.

But it is Mario who takes centre stage. There are photos of him as a baby and then a toddler growing up, kicking a football, in a suit at a family party and play-fighting with brother Enoch as Rose (his biological mother) looks on. But Mario is no longer a Barwuah (biological father's surname). He has taken the surname of his adopted family, Balotelli.

However, Mario was never officially adopted but made a conscious decision to turn his back on his Ghanaian heritage. He took the surname of his adopted parents and represented Italy's Under 21 side. Mario now doesn't even want to meet his siblings. Nani alaumiwe?


Biological father (left) and Mario with his proud foster parents (right)

EMT Thanks for this post thou umesema umewahi post i have never read this Story.... it is a sad one especially for the biological parents... Well as an observer waweza waponda wazazi kua they let their kid go... But fortunately i am a mom/parent hivo i understand how it pains when you are not in control of what is disturbing one of your child... More than anything we want them to be in perfect live and lead a good life... IMO i don't blame what the biological parents did and how they did it.... but there are interesting questions one has to ask one's self (When their child was fostered did they do any followups on all the progress??.... did they ever try to contact him when he was young??... Where they really interested in their child before the fame??)

Upande wa Morio... nafikiri tu kakosa busara... I don't see ni kosa gani ambalo unaweza mdharau alochangia kukuleta duniani hapa... NDIO aweza kua ni mzazi kituko but sio busara ukamdharau.. it is better kumpa heshima yake kama mzazi. Kwamba awakatae kabisa wala ataki kuwaona?? I won't judge him but the story explains it self; why so much hate while it has been explained kua he was a sick child and the parents could not afford... Enways I feel for the Mom.... God how it hurts.... yaani nikifikiria tu tumbo hapa laniuma....

 

[AshaDii]

wifi, sorry i took this long kujibu (im ok now,back to addictions,lol).
family turned out fairly well i can say. we love, we get upset, we cry, and we love again. kuna issue ya kutoa opinions bt nt making decisions for anyone. and in the end, whatever mess u ar in, u run back to family and we try to avoid the '..told u so..' part. it was nt such a big deal kwa dada kupendelewa kidizaini lakini niseme tu nadhani imamuathiri yeye binafsi zaidi kuliko sie ambao hatukupendelewa. she was used to having everything her way and now has to face the rude fact that the whole world doesnt care abt ur feelings (ukiona jidada ziiima linaface issues na kulia 'i wish mom was still alive' unajua kuna shida hapa..) lakini msingi wa upendo uko pale pale, tunampenda na kumsaidia mawazo na faraja tuwezavyo, japokua strongly and firmly where needed. manake u cant be a spoile brat at 30+yrs of age, au sio? i believe wazazi wasingeweka hiyo juhudi then mambo yangekua tofauti na magumu. in the end fedha na mali hazina maana kama huna watu wanaokupenda na kukujali wewe na sio vyako.
huyo kaka yangu saa ingine inabidi ufinye maskio wifi. ukimuendekeza mtakodisha hadi vitanda mlalel chini baada ya kuoga valuer,lol:A S embarassed:

King I love the sound of your family for it seems to be a happy one... Na naona this post in one way or another ime support what Ngabu kasema huko before.... Kua a parent has the responsibility ya kumuonesha mtoto both sides za maisha... jinsi ya kujikimu na the way ya kujisimamia. Hata hivo when you grow up and see the black and white side of the issue that is when you realise that it was better mtu hukupendelewa for it makes you much Stronger...

King believe me you I understand your sis... aise mama ana nafasi yake... mpaka hapa nilipo na utu uzima wangu huu bado sijajua how i can survive without the support of my mom... Mentally and in a lot of other things.. and i was one of those daughters ambao the best parent was "Dad"... But now that i have grown up; najua kabisa kama mamangu angetangulia mbele ya haki and dad ndo angekua amebaki... I would have been lost! (I miss him sooo much - May he rest in peace) But still kuna tofauti....

(I am happy you are well and good sasa wifi) Alafu kakako dawa yake ndogo.... namjulia mwenyewe....lol... hapangishi mtu hapa.

 

[Azimio Jipya]

Hapa AJ umeongelea kitu cha maana saana... The way mtoto wa kiume in most cases anapendwa saana na mamake na the way mtoto wa kike ni more a dads gal... Sometimes for the female side it is worse for some daughters tend to always fight with their moms and see their moms as enemies.... Sijui ni kwa nini hii mara nyingi hutokea; but when a gal grows up she finally come in terms with her mother...

Thou ningependa nijue hio ya femininity Vs Masculinity.... when you say hating... are you suggesting hating ones self as being male or female... OR hating the parent??

You put it in two paragraph very nicely,

Hiyo ya kwanza ina elezea a balanced character ... the family confusion and blockages goes away with time , maturity etc..

In worst case scenario ... When the family situation present itself to the extent of one hating his gander through hating one parent in the favor of another or something close to that ... moja kwa moja tunakuwa na .. like .. mwanaume wa kike na mwanamke wa kiume ... or something in between .. etc

Yaani Mtu ni mwanaume lakini deep down he totally and completely hates His Dad kwa sababu mbalimbali au tofauti tofauti... that means ... Mtu huyo wa kiume bila kujua say unconsciously ni sawa na kuchukia MASCULINITY PRINCIPLE ... Huyu anaweza kuitwa MWANAUME WA KIKE ... Ni mwanaume kabisa kabisa ... DNA, hormones ... everything ... lakini hana kabisa nguvu ya msukumo wa kanuni ya kiume ... the masculinity character ... guess what will be ... his man women relation... niambie ... kama akifanikiwa .. kuoa ... if at all atafikia hapo ...what kind of a Dad? Kiongozi? etc Lakini pia anaweza asiwe na exchanged principles za femininity vs Masculinity ... but can have very atrophied masculinity , faint and useless ... or rather shamefully masculinity ... mtu mzima wa kiume kabisa ... lakini bure kabisa ... yaani hakuna mwanamke aliye kamilika na aliye totally balanced ..in the principles in hand ... can take him as a husband ... labda tu kwa shingo upande for abusing his wealthy or any other condition...

Chukua the same case itokee kwa Mtu wa Kike ... Moyoni ameua kabisa femininity why ... She completely and total hates her Mom ..au mlezi wa kike or anything which brought that condition in her life... two alternatives ... anaweza kujikuta in exchanged principles ...akawa mwanamke wa kiume ... au akijikuta anakuwa mwanamke kawaida lakini ...very feeble in character... Mwanaume kamili balanced in the masculine and femininity ... wont mind her kabisaa ..!!

Bottom line? Malezi isnt chakula, malazi, mavazi, shuleni, vacation etc ni .... LAZIMA ... Kulea a balanced MASCULINITY AND FEMININITY kwa Mtoto!

What am saying? Unapoona wasichana wanaoana wenyewe na wanaume wanaoana wenyewe ... although can be other factors in place ... Quality of family background might have its significant contributions.... in the case you will be looking at!!