some jokes i knew

Viper

JF-Expert Member
Dec 21, 2007
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A) Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his
friend to death. Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your
friends


B) Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother" Santa wrote back,"
SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

C)What is the definition of Mistress? Someone between the Mister and
Mattress

D) Husband asks, "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
Without Information Fighting Everytime
Wife replies," No, It means ,
With Idiot For Ever !!!"

E) Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

F) Teacher: Do you know the importance of period?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad
got heart attack & our driver ran away.

G) Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S?
Because people started licking the wrong side.

H) Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are
yours??
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

I) Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: How yours look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36,
Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!

J) Son asks difference between confidence and confidential
Dad says, you are my son, am confident. your friend is also my son,
that's confidential!
 
A) Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his
friend to death. Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your
friends


B) Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother" Santa wrote back,"
SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

C)What is the definition of Mistress? Someone between the Mister and
Mattress

D) Husband asks, "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
Without Information Fighting Everytime
Wife replies," No, It means ,
With Idiot For Ever !!!"

E) Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

F) Teacher: Do you know the importance of period?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad
got heart attack & our driver ran away.

G) Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S?
Because people started licking the wrong side.

H) Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are
yours??
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

I) Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: How yours look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36,
Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!

J) Son asks difference between confidence and confidential
Dad says, you are my son, am confident. your friend is also my son,
that's confidential!

hyo ya red imemek headline ase! daah.
 
H) Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are
yours??
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaint


Customer Comlaints.......
 
A) Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his
friend to death. Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your
friends


B) Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother" Santa wrote back,"
SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

C)What is the definition of Mistress? Someone between the Mister and
Mattress

D) Husband asks, "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
Without Information Fighting Everytime
Wife replies," No, It means ,
With Idiot For Ever !!!"

E) Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

F) Teacher: Do you know the importance of period?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad
got heart attack & our driver ran away.

G) Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in the U.S?
Because people started licking the wrong side.

H) Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are
yours??
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

I) Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: How yours look like?
2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36,
Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!

J) Son asks difference between confidence and confidential
Dad says, you are my son, am confident. your friend is also my son,
that's confidential!

dereva anacheza gemu home ground. if u can get free milk, y keep a cow? big up suka
 
A) Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his
friend to death. Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your
friends

D) Husband asks, "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
Without Information Fighting Everytime
Wife replies," No, It means ,
With Idiot For Ever !!!"

F) Teacher: Do you know the importance of period?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad
got heart attack & our driver ran away.

J) Son asks difference between confidence and confidential
Dad says, you are my son, am confident. your friend is also my son,
that's confidential!

Hizi ni kali kweli kweli
 
dereva anacheza gemu home ground. if u can get free milk, y keep a cow? big up suka

hiyo red duuuuuu thanx a lot nimecheka mpaka basi umenikumbusha mwalimu wetu mmoja mtu mzima tuliwahi kumuuliza kwa nini hana mke akatujibu, 'sio kila mnywa maziwa lazima awe na ng'ombe, unaweza kupata maziwa kutoka kwa ng'ombe hata wa jirani' daaah tukabaki midomo wazi
 

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