SMS hizi! Ungefanyaje?

Ukwaju · Mar 4, 2014

JINSI YA KUMUAMSHA MWANAMKE KUSWALI SWALA YA ALFAJIRI

MUME; AMKA MPENZI
MKE ; KIMYA

MUME ; MAMA WATOTO AMKA SWALAA
MKE ; KIMYA

MUME ; WEE MWANAMKE AMKA MUDA WA SWALAA UMEFIKA NAKWAMBIA ...
MKE ; KIMYA

MUME ; NATAKA KUKWAMBIA NIMEPELEKA POSA NATAKA KUOA
MKE ; NINIIII UNASEMAAAJE

MUME ; ALAAAAA KUMBE UPO MACHO haya wakati wa SWALAA UMEFIKA HAYA AMKA

chezea mke wenza weye

Ukwaju · Mar 4, 2014

Mke mwenye Wivu alipanga mpango amfumanie Mumewe kuwa anatembea na HouseG,
akamsafirisha asubuhi huyo beki3 bila mumewe kujua.
Ilipofika usiku Baba akamwambia mkewe kuwa naenda Sebuleni kuangalia mpira Ligi ya UK kuna Man-U
Basi hapo mke akanyemelea chumbani kwa beki 3 na kulala uchi bila kuwasha taa.
Jamaa akaingia na kupiga bao zake 5 alipotaka ya 6 Mama akaruka NIMEKUKAMATA leo mbona mm unapigaga bao 2 tu unachoka?
Du kumbe Mlinzi wao yeye kwa hofu AKAPIGA YOWE MAYUWANEEE sikujua km ni wewe mke wa boss
Hapo mzee chele zikamcheza akafungua mlango ..........

Ukwaju · Mar 4, 2014

KIHEREHERE NOMA:
Jamaa Kaenda Ukweni
Kakaa akaona Kuku kakamatwa
jamaa Karopoka Msiweke Mchuz mimi na pendelea Rost,
Mama Mkwe Akajibu Anaatamia huyu Wala Hachinjwi Jamaa Kimya
Ungekuwa Wewe Ungefanyaje?

Ukwaju · Mar 4, 2014

Jakubumba said:
Yani post zako uharo mtupu hakuna kichekesho hata kimoja, ni bora ungejifungulia uzi wako mwenyewe kuliko kuleta hizo virus kwenye huu uzi! Upuuzi mtupu!!!!!

Mkuu mbona kila post wewe unacrash? kwani umelazimishwa si usome na kusepa tu!!
Mleta mada kaanza na ombi km una kituko SURA YAKO TU NI KITUKO

HP1 said:
Kuna SMS nyingi zimekuwa zikitumwa zenye vituko. Tupia yako hapa. Baadhi ni:
****************************
Mke: Naomba tuongee mume wangu
Mume: Ongea

Jakubumba said:
Mkuu umisha!

SALAMA JABIR NA MIKASI
Salama Jabir sijui ana MATATIZO gani. Kila AKIMUHOJI mtu lazima AFE. Kamuoji KANUMBA kafa. Kamuoji SHARO kafa. Kamuhoji SAJUKI kafa. Kamuoji MARIAM KHAMIS kafa.Kamuhoji NGWAIR kafa. Kweli ule MKASI wa WASANII na utawakata wote mpaka waishe.
Vipi nimpe NAMBA yako nawe AKUHOJI?

Ramsey Vinjunga · Mar 5, 2014

Kaona Mav*z*

Jakubumba · Mar 8, 2014

wewe umetokea sayari gani?

Ukwaju said:
Mkuu mbona kila post wewe unacrash? kwani umelazimishwa si usome na kusepa tu!!
Mleta mada kaanza na ombi km una kituko SURA YAKO TU NI KITUKO

Jakubumba · Mar 8, 2014

Copy and paste!

Ukwaju said:
Mama mmoja alikuwa anapika supu,
akamtuma mwanawe limao,
Mtoto wakati yuko juu ya Mlimao akapita Tajiri mmoja akamuona mtoto ------ wazi,
tajiri akamshusha akampa pesa 50,000/= za kununua nguo na chakula,
Mama kuona mtoto kapata pesa, na yeye akapanda juu ya mlimao bila chupi,
Tajiri akamshusha akampa sh. 100 akamwambia kanunue wembe,
Unadhani tajiri kaona nini?

MichazPipoz · Mar 9, 2014

Msitu wa pande

Rich Pol · Mar 9, 2014

Padri na sister walikuwa wanasafiri na gari ndogo safari ndefu, kufika polini padri akachomoa fuse bila sister kuona.
PADRI: Sister mafuta yameisha.
SISTER: sasa tutafanyaje?.
PADRI: nilipokuwa chuo tulifundishwa hata mkojo utaweza kuwasha gari na kuendelea.
Padri akafungua mfuniko wa tank akaweka pipe yake kama anakojoa, kisha akafunga na kurudishia fuse, safari ikaendelea kama km10 padri akatoa tena fuse gari ikazima.
PADRI: ile mkojo naweka imeishia hapa sina tena mkojo weka na wewe.
SISTER: sawa ila hakuna chombo nitawekaje pale?
PADRI: hakuna namna vua nguo mimi nitaingiza dudu yangu pale ninyonye mkojo wote kisha niweke kwenye tank, sister akakubari, alipokuwa tayari
PADRI: naingiza dudu yangu sasa, naanza kunyonta mkojo, nanyonya..! Nanyonya ooooh mkojo mingi sana nitarudia tena ikiisha nanyonyaaaaa!!!!!.
Baada ya hapo safari ikaendelea.

MichazPipoz · Mar 9, 2014

Rich Pol said:
Padri na sister walikuwa wanasafiri na gari ndogo safari ndefu, kufika polini padri akachomoa fuse bila sister kuona.
PADRI: Sister mafuta yameisha.
SISTER: sasa tutafanyaje?.
PADRI: nilipokuwa chuo tulifundishwa hata mkojo utaweza kuwasha gari na kuendelea.
Padri akafungua mfuniko wa tank akaweka pipe yake kama anakojoa, kisha akafunga na kurudishia fuse, safari ikaendelea kama km10 padri akatoa tena fuse gari ikazima.
PADRI: ile mkojo naweka imeishia hapa sina tena mkojo weka na wewe.
SISTER: sawa ila hakuna chombo nitawekaje pale?
PADRI: hakuna namna vua nguo mimi nitaingiza dudu yangu pale ninyonye mkojo wote kisha niweke kwenye tank, sister akakubari, alipokuwa tayari
PADRI: naingiza dudu yangu sasa, naanza kunyonta mkojo, nanyonya..! Nanyonya ooooh mkojo mingi sana nitarudia tena ikiisha nanyonyaaaaa!!!!!.
Baada ya hapo safari ikaendelea.[
/QUOTE]
hahahahaaaa iii kali

mendezo czyeskex · Mar 11, 2014

Cheki kimombo cha polisi wa bongo baada ya kumkamata mzungu:

Yesterday I saw you at the maize shop (jana nilikuona dukani kwa muhindi). When you saw me you started to six six (uliponiona ukaanza kusitasita). When I follow you run and plant a car (nilipokufuata ukakimbia na kwenda kupanda gari). Now your down of security (sasa upo chini ya ulinzi). Sleep and snake well before I cut you a millet (lala nyooka vizuri kabla sijakukata mtama)[/QUOTE]

ikomaland · Mar 13, 2014

Eti MTU anakupigia simu saa saba usiku halafu anakuuliza umelala? Ni bora umjibu uko nje unaota jua

yudhi amuli · Mar 13, 2014

hahahaaa

KIBONGOMKUTI · Mar 13, 2014

mendezo czyeskex said:
Cheki kimombo cha polisi wa bongo baada ya kumkamata mzungu:

Yesterday I saw you at the maize shop (jana nilikuona dukani kwa muhindi). When you saw me you started to six six (uliponiona ukaanza kusitasita). When I follow you run and plant a car (nilipokufuata ukakimbia na kwenda kupanda gari). Now your down of security (sasa upo chini ya ulinzi). Sleep and snake well before I cut you a millet (lala nyooka vizuri kabla sijakukata mtama)

[/QUOTE]

Mkuu umetisha mbayaaaa

Na lee · Mar 14, 2014

Ni noma xana.

Raelish · Mar 15, 2014

nadnan sab said:
Kunguru

qwa qwa qwa qwa qwa

Namway · May 7, 2014

Ha haaaa

Nashali Jay · May 7, 2014

Hatareeeee

miss ngatara · May 11, 2014

Ha ha ha ha, wa misosi umetisha

mchajikobe · May 12, 2014

Haaa haa haa huyu john katishaaaaaaa

SMS hizi! Ungefanyaje?

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