She is beautiful, highly educated and paid but lonely! Why?

[GOWISHI]

Ni kweli matatizo ya kisaikolojia ni mapana kuliko tunavyoongea humu jamvini. Kila mwanadamu ana kiwango fulani cha matatizo ya kisaikolojia. Kiwango kikizidi mtu anafanya vitu kinyume na maisha na matendo ya mtu wa kawaida. Mfano mmoja ni huu wa kuishi mpweke (bila ndoa). Kutetea au kupinga maisha ya upweke ni kujivua ubinadamu (uwepo wa utashi unaosukumwa na akili na fahamu pevu tofauti na wanyama wengine, ambao pia huishi maisha ya upweke kama jamii yake itamkana).

Unajua hapa sio kwamba tunapinga. Ila ni kwanini wanawake waliotajwa na mleta mada wawe makapera,? na tunafanya hivyo kwasababu si jambo la kawaida katika jamii, wapo ambao watajifunza na kukwepa hii hali ambayo siyo ya kawaida katika jamii. Ukikuta mtu akakuambia anapenda ukapera (maisha ya upweke ) ujue anatatizo la kisaikolojia kwa kuwa si hali ya kawaida ya mwanadamu.

 

[mwengeso]

kwahio iwapo kutetea upweke au kupinga upweke kote ni kujivua ubinadamu sasa nini kifanyike??!!!

Binadamu kama "social animal" hutumia hisia na fahamu zake kuamua cha kufanya. "Usimsemee biadamu mwenzio".

 

[RRONDO]

Binadamu kama "social animal" hutumia hisia na fahamu zake kuamua cha kufanya. "Usimsemee biadamu mwenzio".

kwa maana hii hii thread haina maana.

 

[mwengeso]

kwa maana hii hii thread haina maana.

"Thread" ina maana kukumbushana ubinadamu wetu na si kulaumiana au kujenga ukuta wa utetezi. Kama umepitia michango mingi humu jamvini, akina baba wanawashutumu "single women" na akina mama wanajitetea kwa nguvu zao zote. Ukweli unabaki kwamba kuishi maisha ya upweke si ubinadamu. Kwa kusema hivyo silaumu wanaoshi pweke ila kuwakumbusha kwamba ni kinyume na uumbaji wa Mwenyezi Mungu (someni maandiko matakatifu).

 

[Heaven Sent]

Ukweli unabaki kwamba kuishi maisha ya upweke si ubinadamu. Kwa kusema hivyo silaumu wanaoshi pweke ila kuwakumbusha kwamba ni kinyume na uumbaji wa Mwenyezi Mungu (someni maandiko matakatifu).

Nadeclare interest kabisa, I pray and hope not to end up single, unless Sijapata mtu sahihi. Then kuna Vitu viwili unachanganya I guess, kuna upweke (loneliness) na kuna kuwa single ( alone). Kuna watu wapo kwenye mahusiano na still wana upweke wa hali ya juu tu. Na kuna watu wapo single na hawana upweke

Hivi inakuwaje wale ambao wamefiwa na wake/ waume afu wakaamua tu kubaki single wakalea watoto wao maybe, na wao wapo kinyume na ubinadamu? Haya kila baby nayempata hasomeki, nikiamua kukaa single just for my peace of mind na furaha yangu (Sijapata mtu sahihi), ntakuwa kinyume na ubinadamu? As a matter of fact, kikawaida tu Sidhani kama kuna mtu anataka tu kuwa single while she/he is having the right person. Ning'ang'anie tu kuwa kwenye mahusiano yasiyoeleweka kwa sababu tu sitaki kuwa against na nature?

 

[mwengeso]

Nadeclare interest kabisa, I pray and hope not to end up single, unless Sijapata mtu sahihi. Then kuna Vitu viwili unachanganya I guess, kuna upweke (loneliness) na kuna kuwa single ( alone). Kuna watu wapo kwenye mahusiano na still wana upweke wa hali ya juu tu. Na kuna watu wapo single na hawana upweke

Hivi inakuwaje wale ambao wamefiwa na wake/ waume afu wakaamua tu kubaki single wakalea watoto wao maybe, na wao wapo kinyume na ubinadamu? Haya kila baby nayempata hasomeki, nikiamua kukaa single just for my peace of mind na furaha yangu (Sijapata mtu sahihi), ntakuwa kinyume na ubinadamu? As a matter of fact, kikawaida tu Sidhani kama kuna mtu anataka tu kuwa single while she/he is having the right person. Ning'ang'anie tu kuwa kwenye mahusiano yasiyoeleweka kwa sababu tu sitaki kuwa against na nature?

Heaven Sent: By "mpweke" I referred to "single life" but also including loneliness. Be it unmarried or divorcee.

The main topic was on educated and/or well-to-do women living single

Then, my argument is the question "where do one throw or do away with social nature of human beings!"

We are arguing here pros and cons of single life drifting away from the truth that is totally against creation. Whatever the reason we should live in harmony, and in pairs as per God's creation.

 

[housegirl]

Ni kweli matatizo ya kisaikolojia ni mapana kuliko tunavyoongea humu jamvini. Kila mwanadamu ana kiwango fulani cha matatizo ya kisaikolojia. Kiwango kikizidi mtu anafanya vitu kinyume na maisha na matendo ya mtu wa kawaida. Mfano mmoja ni huu wa kuishi mpweke (bila ndoa). Kutetea au kupinga maisha ya upweke ni kujivua ubinadamu (uwepo wa utashi unaosukumwa na akili na fahamu pevu tofauti na wanyama wengine, ambao pia huishi maisha ya upweke kama jamii yake itamkana).

We jamaa kweli you have problems. Hapa tunaanza kwenda in circles. Nimetembea nawe kote huku kupinga mentality ya kuwa ukiwa single ni mpweke (unhappy) na ukijulikana umeolewa sio mpweke.
UNA MATATIZO YA KISAIKOLOJIA.

Seems my story didn't get anything into your head.....either the truth is so hard for you to swallow or you just have problems with your reasoning.

An unhappy, unfixable marriage IS NOT good for the kids nor fair to the woman. DEAL WITH IT.

 

[housegirl]

Ni kweli matatizo ya kisaikolojia ni mapana kuliko tunavyoongea humu jamvini.

Ukiona mtu anataka kushi tofauti na jamii ujue kuna tatizo hasa la kisaikolojia ,

jamii yake itamkana).

,? na tunafanya hivyo kwasababu si jambo la kawaida katika jamii, .

Nyie mnaojitia utaalam wa psychology, nimewaDiagnose na PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM known as CONFORMITY.

Conformity is the tendency to align your
attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors with those
around you.

THIS social influence
might involve agreeing with or acting like the
majority of people in a specific group, or it might
involve behaving in a particular way in order to
be perceived as "normal" by the group.

 

[mwengeso]

Nyie mnaojitia utaalam wa psychology, nimewaDiagnose na PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM known as CONFORMITY.

Conformity is the tendency to align your
attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors with those
around you.

THIS social influence
might involve agreeing with or acting like the
majority of people in a specific group, or it might
involve behaving in a particular way in order to
be perceived as "normal" by the group.

housegirl: tukuache ulivyo na mawazo yako.

In any case as long as you are living in this world you cannot avoid interactions with others. Notwithstand how you have perceived my opinion, I am very strong in self esteem and a very active social being.

 

[Mwaikibaki]

Why do people assume single women at that age are unhappy? As if the married ones are living in paradise. Don't you know that a lot of married couples actually get lonely too?

Stop speaking about their emotions. Do not pressure them into unhealthy relationships just to impress you!
I'm very sure if they were as desperate as society claims, they would have settled with just anybody.

Asanteee....lakini sisi ni wabantu....tuna mila ma tamaduni zetu kuwa mtoto wa kike akikamilika anahitaji aolewe..na mwanaume naye aoe..
ila sasa kwa mitazamo ya kimagharibi ndo hayo ya kusema "unajua single ladies si wote wako lonely mara hata wanandoa kuna wanaohihisi upweke"

Ukweli unabaki kuwa kuoa na kuolewa ndio heshma yetu kwa tamaduni zetu ila ukiikosa ndoa kubali matokeo na uwe mpole ila usibadili umuhimu na heshima ya kuoa au kuolewa...

Call a spade,spade!

 

[Cataliyya]

I myself am not ready to alway kiss someone's ass just to remain in a relationship with them.

Why would a man who truly loves me make me do that?
What happened to speaking things out?

A man with inferiority complex is not a man to live with.
A relationship bound on a man's ego is a relationship I'd do everything to avoid, including staying single to 50.

Kwenye relationship tuheshimiane wote ama vipi kaoe kijijini ha ha ha! unyenyekevu unyenyekevu, na wazazi wangu je? na Mungu je?

 

[GOWISHI]

Kwenye relationship tuheshimiane wote ama vipi kaoe kijijini ha ha ha! unyenyekevu unyenyekevu, na wazazi wangu je? na Mungu je?

Unamawazo finyu kweli wewe kwani kuolewa ni kunyenyekea? huko tayali kujifunza na hutajua.

 

[ERoni]

Unamawazo finyu kweli wewe kwani kuolewa ni kunyenyekea? huko tayali kujifunza na hutajua.

Kiongozi, usiumize kichwa sana. Mara nyingi michango ya namna hii ni ya watu walioshindwa. Mwenye ndoa yenye afya hawezi kupinga kuwa kuheshimiana, kubebeana mizigo, kupendana na hata kuonyesha unyenyekevu ni sehemu ya maisha ya wanandoa( kunyenyekea ni pamoja na kujishusha pale unapoona ulimkosea mwenza, sio jambo baya). Mungu aliyesema "na mume ampende mke wake, nae mke amheshimu mume wake" alimaanisha mengi mno.

Shida kubwa tuliyonayo sasa ni kuchanganya tamaduni, tumekuwa na tamaduni za kimagharibi mno, tumepokea imani za "social activists" wanaotaka gender balance, kitu ambacho hakipo hata katika vitabu tunavyoviamini sana.

 

[GOWISHI]

Nyie mnaojitia utaalam wa psychology, nimewaDiagnose na PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM known as CONFORMITY.

Conformity is the tendency to align your
attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors with those
around you.

THIS social influence
might involve agreeing with or acting like the
majority of people in a specific group, or it might
involve behaving in a particular way in order to
be perceived as "normal" by the group.

Acha kuchanganya watu wewe na elimu yako ya google soma vizuri maana conformity, normal na abnormal utajijua uko wapi

 

[GOWISHI]

Kiongozi, usiumize kichwa sana. Mara nyingi michango ya namna hii ni ya watu walioshindwa. Mwenye ndoa yenye afya hawezi kupinga kuwa kuheshimiana, kubebeana mizigo, kupendana na hata kuonyesha unyenyekevu ni sehemu ya maisha ya wanandoa( kunyenyekea ni pamoja na kujishusha pale unapoona ulimkosea mwenza, sio jambo baya). Mungu aliyesema "na mume ampende mke wake, nae mke amheshimu mume wake" alimaanisha mengi mno.

Shida kubwa tuliyonayo sasa ni kuchanganya tamaduni, tumekuwa na tamaduni za kimagharibi mno, tumepokea imani za "social activists" wanaotaka gender balance, kitu ambacho hakipo hata katika vitabu tunavyoviamini sana.

Kweli

 

[GREGO]

Ukweli 100%

 

[housegirl]

Acha kuchanganya watu wewe na elimu yako ya google soma vizuri maana conformity, normal na abnormal utajijua uko wapi

Sina cheti cha psychology wewe mwenzetu umesomea chuo kipi?

Acha ujuaji! Umeenda kufukunyua mambo ya normal na abnormal psychology wakati mimi naongelea conformity.

Wewe, mwengeso, Mwaikibaki na wengine mna AINA ya social conformity iitwayo NORMATIVE CONFORMITY. Kufuata tamaduni ni aina ya normative conformity. You have such a strong desire to be accepted by the society that you follow values blindly.

The said educated woman has already passed that milestone. She cannot settle with a man so far behind.

 

[housegirl]

Asanteee....lakini sisi ni wabantu....tuna mila ma tamaduni zetu kuwa mtoto wa kike akikamilika anahitaji aolewe..na mwanaume naye aoe..
ila sasa kwa mitazamo ya kimagharibi ndo hayo ya kusema "unajua single ladies si wote wako lonely mara hata wanandoa kuna wanaohihisi upweke"

Ukweli unabaki kuwa kuoa na kuolewa ndio heshma yetu kwa tamaduni zetu ila ukiikosa ndoa kubali matokeo na uwe mpole ila usibadili umuhimu na heshima ya kuoa au kuolewa...

Call a spade,spade!

UNA TATIZO LINAITWA NORMATIVE CONFORMITY.

Kufuata tamaduni SIO SIFA. Tamaduni ngapi tumeziacha kwasababu hazifai? Sikushangai kwakuwa bado kuna watu wanatetea ukeketaji na kupiga wanawake.

HIVI DUNIA YA LEO THAMANI YA MWANAMKE IKO KWENYE NDOA KWELI?? Shule umeenda lakini?

Oprah na mkeo Nani anastahili heshima?

Mimi kama member wa jamii siwezi kumheshimu mkeo kisa tu analala na wewe!!! Kha!

Mambo yamebadilika. Kuna maana ya kufanya kuliko kutunza mume. Mwanaume msomi haweki thamani ya mwanamke kwa mwanaume aliye naye!

NDOMANA HATUTAKI KUOLEWA, NANI AOLEWE NA MWANAUME MWENYE MENTALITY HII? WANAUME WANAOTAKWA NI WACHACHE MNOO.

 

[housegirl]

housegirl: tukuache ulivyo na mawazo yako.

In any case as long as you are living in this world you cannot avoid interactions with others. Notwithstand how you have perceived my opinion, I am very strong in self esteem and a very active social being.

Haha anayeongelea habari za kukubaliwa na society ndo ana self esteem. Oh please!!!

Being social doesn't mean blindly following what other people think. If People didn't go against what is considered "normal" we wouldn't be here today. The knowledge, the freedom..

Kubali tu una tatizo ya kisaikolojia, seek help so you learn to think for yourself and STOP TALKING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES.

 

[housegirl]

Kiongozi, usiumize kichwa sana. Mara nyingi michango ya namna hii ni ya watu walioshindwa. Mwenye ndoa yenye afya hawezi kupinga kuwa kuheshimiana, kubebeana mizigo, kupendana na hata kuonyesha unyenyekevu ni sehemu ya maisha ya wanandoa( kunyenyekea ni pamoja na kujishusha pale unapoona ulimkosea mwenza, sio jambo baya). Mungu aliyesema "na mume ampende mke wake, nae mke amheshimu mume wake" alimaanisha mengi mno.

Shida kubwa tuliyonayo sasa ni kuchanganya tamaduni, tumekuwa na tamaduni za kimagharibi mno, tumepokea imani za "social activists" wanaotaka gender balance, kitu ambacho hakipo hata katika vitabu tunavyoviamini sana.

Post imeongelea mwanamke kuwa submissive. Lazima ipingwe.

Wala usitumie maneno kama unyenyekevu manake inamaanisha kuna mmoja anajitia authority au ubandidu. Mapenzi na authority wapi na wapi

Semeni listening and compromising and it goes both ways...

Mijanaume mingi hapa ina inferiority complex inatafuta njia ya kuPump ego. Kwa wanawake Hawa pamegoma