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Niliwazaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Viol, Apr 8, 2012.

  1. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 8, 2012
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    Wanafunzi wawili baada ya kumaliza mtihani wa Kiswahili wakawa wanaongea.

    Mwanafunzi 1:Mtihani ulikuwa mzuri sana na mda ulitosha.
    Mwanafunzi 2:Maswali yote marahisi ila isipokuwa swali la 5 lilikuwa ngumu na sikujibu.
    Mwanafunzi 1:kwani swali la 5 linasemaje?
    Mwanafunzi 2:ilikuwa inauliza kuiweka neno'''NINAWAZA""katika mda ulipotita,basi niliwazaaaaaa,niliwazaaaaaa sana
    mpaka sasa sijapata jibu.
     
  2. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 8, 2012
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    Kuna jamaa alikuwa ni mfagiaji kwenye ndege. Siku moja wakati anafagia chumba cha mapilot akakuta kitabu kilichoitwa,'Jifunze kurusha ndege kitabu cha kwanza' Kufungua ukurasa wa kwanza, kukawa na maelezo' Kuwasha injini bonyeza kitufe cha kijani, akabonyeza na injini zikawaka akaona raha, Ukurasa wa pili ukawa na maelezo ukitaka ndege ianze kutembea bonyeza kitufe cha bluu, akabonyeza ndege ikaanza kwenda mbele, ukurasa unaofuata ukawa na maelezo ukitaka ndege ipae bonyeza kitufe chekundu, akabonyeza ndege ikapaa akajiona mjanja saaaana. Akaanza kutafuta namna ya kutua , akafungua kitabu mpaka mwisho akakuta sentensi inasema kwa maelezo ya kutua, nunua 'Jifunze kurusha ndege kitabu cha Pili'.
     
  3. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 8, 2012
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    Jamaa alikuwa safarini kikazi akafikia guest sikuiyo alijiona mnyonge akaamua kumuuliza muudumu mmoja wa kiume kuwa anashida na demu mhudumu akamwambia mademu wapo ila sisi tunawatambua kwa majina ya magari jamaa akasema sasi niitia benz muudumu akasema limetoka sasaivi"ila limebaki vorkswagon tu nikuitie!jamaa akasea niitie tu nipo chumba no13 jamaa akaenda chumbani baada ya muda akagongewa na aliingia mwanaume shoga jamaa akamaind sana akamfata mhuduma na kumuliza kwanini umeniletea shoga mhudumu akamwambia iyo ndo vorkswagoni coz injini yake ipo nyuma.




     
  4. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Apr 8, 2012
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    Mkuu anayehusika na wanafunzi wa chuo akiwafafanulia jambo wanafunzi wapya chuoni "ndugu zangu... Bweni la wasichana ni wasichana tu na wanaume ni wanaume tu." Akiendelea kuwaasa "atakae kamatwa mara ya kwanza atalipishwa faini ya elfu 20, mara ya pili elfu 60, mara ya tatu elfu 180." Mwanafunzi mmoja akanyoosha mkono kuashiria anaomba kuuliza swali, aliuliza hivi "je? Ni shilingi ngapi kwa muhula mzima?"
     
  5. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Apr 8, 2012
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    Baba akiwa matembezini jioni na mwanae: Mtoto: Baba huyu sio njiwa amekufa? Baba: Amekufa ndio, keshaenda kwa Mungu. Mtoto: Sasa mbona Mungu kamrudisha hapa tena?

     
  6. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Apr 8, 2012
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    jamaa kajichora tatoo mwilini majina ya vifaa vya michezo demu wake akawa anasoma kifuani nike ,pajani REEBOK mgongoni PUMA, kiunoni FILA, kwenye uume AIDS demu akashtuka kwa nini umeandika hapa AIDS jamaa akajibu usiogope dear ikisimama itasomeka ADIDAS.
     
  7. tindikalikali

    tindikalikali JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 8, 2012
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    nimecheka sana khaaa
     
  8. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Apr 8, 2012
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    Hahahahaha!asante kwa kuikamilisha pasaka yangu!
     
  9. Zuia Sayayi

    Zuia Sayayi JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Apr 8, 2012
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    mpaka saa hii mbavu zangu zimeharibika
     
  10. Chizi Fureshi

    Chizi Fureshi JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Apr 8, 2012
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    Pasaka imekuwa pouwa sana! Aksante.
     
  11. toghocho

    toghocho JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Apr 8, 2012
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    asante mkuuuuuuuuuuuu
    me like it eey!!!
     
  12. Myakubanga

    Myakubanga JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Apr 8, 2012
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    Hahaha.
     
  13. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Apr 9, 2012
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    hehehe ndege imekugomea nini
     
  14. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Apr 9, 2012
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    tuko pamoja my dia
     
  15. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Apr 9, 2012
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    teh teh taratibu basi zisivunjike
     
  16. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Apr 9, 2012
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    mkuu hata kwangu pia iko poa
     
  17. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Apr 9, 2012
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    tuko pamoja mkuu
     
  18. Viol

    Viol JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Apr 9, 2012
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    we cheka tu
     
  19. Myakubanga

    Myakubanga JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Apr 9, 2012
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    Alikudai Kufa kivyake na atafufuka mungu akipenda!
     
  20. Kipstech

    Kipstech Member

    #20
    Apr 9, 2012
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    Hahahahahaha, mimi nimependa hiyo.
     
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