Mke ka-'confess' jamaangu kachanganyikiwa...

Nyani Ngabu said:
One can't find out without occurence.
Click to expand...
Well doing the deed does not necessarily mean the doer intend it to be found out.., hence the action was not intended to hurt (If it happens someones find out it was not desired)

What you don't know doesn't hurt you? I don't fully subscribe to that notion.
Click to expand...
Well I cant change that, but tell me how can something you don't know hurt you unless when the culprit did not use protection hence bring you other baggage


Being discreet usually is for covering your own ass and NOT because they don't want their partners to get hurt. If you don't want to hurt your partner just don't cheat, period.
Click to expand...
Mkuu their is contradiction in what your saying as well as generalizing the issue how do you know all the cheaters motives of being discrete if your not in their shoes... The truth remains by being discrete the partner wont find out and hence wont get hurt

Now you are talking out of both sides of your mouth. Being unfaithful to your partner is not loving your partner for if you love him or her you will be faithful.
Click to expand...
Mkuu why do people cheat.., is it because of lack of love..?, because of their urge to taste every fish in the sea?.., because they hate their partners?, because of their fantasies of having this or that?, because of their big appetite of sex?, because of bad morals and selfishness?;
Mkuu people are unfaithful for a million of reasons and lack of love is not necessarily the reason..

And for the definition of True Love is Subjective... and maybe just a few of us have ever encountered it and if we go by the definition given below maybe non of humans will ever encounter love

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 [SUP]4[/SUP] Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. [SUP]5[/SUP] It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. [SUP]6[/SUP] Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. [SUP]7[/SUP] It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

[SUP]8[/SUP] Love never fails.



 
hahoyaya said:
Kwa hali ilivyo, nafikiri jamaa yako amsamehe mkewe tu..after all hajui kama mtoto ni wa kwake yet. Plus bila mkewe ku-confess, angeweza kujifungua still akajua mtoto ni wake tu. Kupotezea ni ngumu but it seems to be the only choice for now

Alternatively, kama atajisikia vibaya kulea mtoto asiye wa kwake, basi asubiri mkewe ajifungue, wakapime DNA...kama ikigundulika mtoto ni wake, waendelee kuishi pamoja na wawe na mapenzi yasiyokuwa na kudanganyana. Kama ikigundulika si wake, then, waachane kwa talaka tu coz hataishi kwa amani na huyo mwanamke.
Click to expand...

Nimekusoma mkuu...ulipitiaga 'psychology'??
 
VoiceOfReason said:
Well doing the deed does not necessarily mean the doer intend it to be found out.., hence the action was not intended to hurt (If it happens someones find out it was not desired)
Click to expand...

The very nature of the act itself is hurtful. So if cheating is a premeditated act, and if a premeditated act is an intended act, and the act that is premeditated is by it's very nature a hurtful act, then there is no doubt in my mind that the intention of cheating is to hurt.
 
Nyani Ngabu said:
The very nature of the act itself is hurtful. So if cheating is a premeditated act, and if a premeditated act is an intended act, and the act that is premeditated is by it's very nature a hurtful act, then there is no doubt in my mind that the intention of cheating is to hurt.
Click to expand...

Well if that is the case, and am not saying you are wrong in your thinking but we should agree as well that those people whose intention of cheating is having this and that and then this while being discrete (and in their minds thinking the partner will never know) we cant say that they want to hurt their partners (if that was the intention they would have done it in front of their eyes)..

Therefore we cam call these people all the bad words under the Sun but not that they are intentionally hurting their partners...

Let me give you the following scenario, if a person with a wife who wants everyday to be with the wife and he is unhappy and feels incomplete when the Mrs is away. But occasionally he has a prostitute or two (he loves threesomes) and he makes sure the Mrs will never find out...does it mean this man does not love anyone, or he loves the Mrs or he loves the prostitute ?, or the man does not know about love?

All I can say the man is irresponsible (kwa kuchezea shilingi chooni) by risking his marriage.., but I cant say the man is Loveless, Cheating is a behavior (or caused by certain circumstances) and its not lack of love
 
VoiceOfReason said:
Well if that is the case, and am not saying you are wrong in your thinking but we should agree as well that those people whose intention of cheating is having this and that and then this while being discrete (and in their minds thinking the partner will never know) we cant say that they want to hurt their partners (if that was the intention they would have done it in front of their eyes)..
Click to expand...

I call those kinds of people 'confused individuals' because you can't have your cake and eat it too i.e. you can't engage yourself in an act that's hurtful to your partner and say because you don't want him or her to get hurt, so you are going to be discreet about it.

First off, you are cheating. And secondly you are going to be discreet about it. It doesn't get any more intentional than that. Or does it? I mean, you are planning the whole thing. You've got it all planned out buddy.

So to me it doesn't matter. Whether you do it overtly or covertly, if the nature of the act is hurtful, then you can't escape the fact that you intended to do it unless you come to me and tell me that what you did, you did it against your will. You were forced to do it. But if you did it willingly, and planned everything out, then you intended everything that comes, goes, and that results from it.
 
Nyani Ngabu said:
I call those kinds of people 'confused individuals' because you can't have your cake and eat it too i.e. you can't engage yourself in an act that's hurtful to your partner and say because you don't want him or her to get hurt, so you are going to be discreet about it.

First off, you are cheating. And secondly you are going to be discreet about it. It doesn't get any more intentional than that. Or does it? I mean, you are planning the whole thing. You've got it all planned out buddy.

So to me it doesn't matter. Whether you do it overtly or covertly, if the nature of the act is hurtful, then you can't escape the fact that you intended to do it unless you come to me and tell me that what you did, you did it against your will. You were forced to do it. But if you did it willingly, and planned everything out, then you intended everything that comes, goes, and that results from it.
Click to expand...

Ofcourse the act was planned but the MOTIVE was not to hurt but was to have good time discretely without the partner knowing hence getting hurt... It like saying the Motive of a thief is to get caught and not to steal the products... (Knowing the thief in his mind thinks he has got the best laid plan and no one will ever find out......) Now don't get me wrong the act is bad in everyone eyes and its inexcusable but the fact remains the intention was not for the partner to know...

Let me ask you this question... Those porn stars who sleep with other people as part of their jobs.., does it mean they don't love their partners? or is it okay because the partner knows and he/she maybe does not get hurt..?

So what is the main problem here which makes the one doing the action to be labelled he/she has no love...
Is it the actual act.. or is it doing it behind someones back...? or it is the consequence of the action which can hurt the partner.. (if this is the case how can we say one doing the act thinking the partner will never know is intending to hurt?)., And if the question is hurt I can argue the person who drinks everyday knowing the partner dislikes him/her to drink does not love the partner because he knows for sure the partner dislikes the deed and he/she is hurt ...
 
Duh! kali lakini we si amekusamehe!, kama vp mshauri atoe hiyo mimba kama bado ni changa kiasi halafu utundike yako na maisha yaendelee
 
VoiceOfReason said:
Ofcourse the act was planned but the MOTIVE was not to hurt but was to have good time discretely without the partner knowing hence getting hurt... It like saying the Motive of a thief is to get caught and not to steal the products... (Knowing the thief in his mind thinks he has got the best laid plan and no one will ever find out......) Now don't get me wrong the act is bad in everyone eyes and its inexcusable but the fact remains the intention was not for the partner to know...
Click to expand...

To me that is a distinction without a difference! Cheating is hurtful and before one cheats he or she already knows that it is hurtful but still they do it anyway. If you know something is bad and you still went ahead and did it anyway, to me that shows you intended to do it and it doesn't matter if you did it openly or secretly.

Let me ask you this question... Those porn stars who sleep with other people as part of their jobs.., does it mean they don't love their partners? or is it okay because the partner knows and he/she maybe does not get hurt..?
Click to expand...

Porn business is a whole different ballgame. If you chose to involve yourself with a porn star, I presume that you will have given your decision enough thought and ultimately assented to the fact that that is his or her career. So I don't see where the problem would be with that. Here we are talking about romantic traditional monogamous relationships.

So what is the main problem here which makes the one doing the action to be labelled he/she has no love...
Click to expand...

It is the betrayal.

Is it the actual act.. or is it doing it behind someones back...? or it is the consequence of the action which can hurt the partner.. (if this is the case how can we say one doing the act thinking the partner will never know is intending to hurt?)., And if the question is hurt I can argue the person who drinks everyday knowing the partner dislikes him/her to drink does not love the partner because he knows for sure the partner dislikes the deed and he/she is hurt ...
Click to expand...

It's the whole kit and caboodle.
 
mh haya mambo ya confession haya mwe yabakiage tu huko huko. Maconfesion mengine bora usiyaconfess bana ah!!! Guarantee ya kusamahawa na kusahau ni ndogo sana bana!
 
Rev Fr Masanilo said:
Una heri wewe usiyependa confess kama Mchungaji!
Click to expand...

Mchungaji makitu mengine bana ni kujipunguzia tu siku za kuishi kwa kujitwisha mamizigo....wewe kama ulitenda matendo hasi kwa sababu 'ulisababishiwa' kuyatenda hayo wewe jutia na kuapa kutotenda tena.......songa mbele! unaconfess ili iweje? mwenye uwezo wa kusamehe na kusahau maovu ni MUNGU peke yake so jizuie kutenda maovu makubwa makubwa na kama ukishindwa basi yatende responspibly ili baadae usiwe na kisingizio cha kuconfess
 
Gugwe said:
Duh! kali lakini we si amekusamehe!, kama vp mshauri atoe hiyo mimba kama bado ni changa kiasi halafu utundike yako na maisha yaendelee
Click to expand...
Duh Mkuu je kulea mtoto ambae sio wako ni mbaya kiasi hicho hadi upelekee mtu atoe mimba.... Duh kaazi kweli kweli... !!!
Kinachomata ni malezi na kama utamlea mtoto na atakueshimu kama baba na sababu yako atapata malezi bora na kuwa mtu bora duniani kuna ubaya gani hapo... ? au kuitwa baba ni mpaka wewe ndie uwe umefanya tendo?, ingekuwa hivyo basi watu wasingefanya adoption
 
Ule usemi wa 'Ukimwaga mboga, namwaga ugali' hauko applicable kwenye mapenzi. Umeona matokeo yake? Hapo mama anaonyesha kushuku kuwa mzigo siyo wa mumewe. Mpaka hapo inaonyesha tayari mimba siyo ya mumewe, na ameamua kumtaarifu mapema ili lolote litakalotokea ajue la kufanya mapema iwezekanavyo, hata ikiwezekana aende kwa jamaa aliyemjaza ili wajipange upya. Dah, hapo pagumu sana!
 
VoiceOfReason said:
Well if that is the case, and am not saying you are wrong in your thinking but we should agree as well that those people whose intention of cheating is having this and that and then this while being discrete (and in their minds thinking the partner will never know) we cant say that they want to hurt their partners (if that was the intention they would have done it in front of their eyes)..

Therefore we cam call these people all the bad words under the Sun but not that they are intentionally hurting their partners...

Let me give you the following scenario, if a person with a wife who wants everyday to be with the wife and he is unhappy and feels incomplete when the Mrs is away. But occasionally he has a prostitute or two (he loves threesomes) and he makes sure the Mrs will never find out...does it mean this man does not love anyone, or he loves the Mrs or he loves the prostitute ?, or the man does not know about love?

All I can say the man is irresponsible (kwa kuchezea shilingi chooni) by risking his marriage.., but I cant say the man is Loveless, Cheating is a behavior (or caused by certain circumstances) and its not lack of love
Click to expand...


Labda VoR ngoja nami niweke msisitizo hapo,
ninashangaa sana hata mie kwa kiasi fulani iweje cheating
ijustify kuwa mapenzi kwa mke/mume hakuna tena?hiyo sio kweli,
kama alivyosema hapo VoR, kama tungekuwa hatupendi wenza wetu basi,
tungefanya hiyo cheating mbele ya macho yao.............................
Cheating inaletelezwa na sababu nyingi tu na wala sio ku conclude kuwa,
ni ukosefu wa mapenzi............................tuzidi kutafakari hapo!!!!!!!
 
ukishasema tusameheane
inaa maana na wewe uwe tayari kusamehe lolote utakalo ambiwa
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar Discussions

Back
Top Bottom
Forums
New posts
Post thread
Back