Jaluo_Nyeupe
JF-Expert Member
- Dec 21, 2010
- 2,950
- 2,481
teh teh teh. Hata mm ningeazimwa yangenikuta hayo ila mm kingeanza kuchongwa kidole kwanza.
Joe: Your secretary is very sexy. John: Thanks, it is a robot from Japan her name is Kotto. If u squeeze her right breast she takes notes and if u squeeze the left she types. You can borrow her for a day and see for yourself. Next day Joe called from the hospital and shouted: John you BASTARD, you didn't tell me Kotto's pussy is a pencil sharpener.
teh teh teh. Hata mm ningeazimwa yangenikuta hayo ila mm kingeanza kuchongwa kidole kwanza.
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know! The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit and a diamond rolex steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.
If twins, they will receive a factory and $5,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, 'You fu#k her again'.
Chinese in Kariakoo
A chinese came to do some petty business in Kariakoo in Dar with his newly married chinese wife. After a year she gives birth to a purely black bouncing baby boy.
He names him ''Sum Tin Wong''.
hahahahahaahahahah ebwana ndio....A Girl posts an advertisement in newspaper for her Life-partner.
"Need a person who never leaves me,
never beats me
And
can satisfy me on bed"
Next day a guy with no arms and legs knocks at her door.
Girl: who are U?
Guy: I want to be ur husband.
Girl: U don't fit for that.
Guy: I don't have arms,
So i can't beat u.
I don't have legs,
so i can't leave u.
Girl: How can u satisfy me on bed ?
Guy:
How do u think i knocked the door..?
Two men are fishing on a river bank in a remote area of the River Thames on a Saturday afternoon miles away from any radio or tv. Suddenly one man turns to the other and says "The Gunners have lost again." The other man was flabbergasted and said "how in the name of god do you know that?" The other man replied "It's quarter to five."
hata mimi yangenikuta kaka dahteh teh teh. Hata mm ningeazimwa yangenikuta hayo ila mm kingeanza kuchongwa kidole kwanza.
Little Boy: Dad, How was I Born..?
Dad: Well, Son... Ur Mom & I Got Together At "Jamii Forums". We Set up A Date Via "E-Mail" & Met In "Cyber Cafe"
Ur Mom Agreed To "Download Data" From My "PEN DRIVE".
So I put it in ur mom's USB "Port", & just When I Was About To "Transfer",
We Realized That None Of us had "Installed" any "Antivirus".
It Was Too Late To hit "Cancel"
Nine Months Later A "Pop-up Window" Appeared Saying
"You Have Got A MAIL"
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know! The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit and a diamond rolex steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.
If twins, they will receive a factory and $5,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, 'You fu#k her again'.
Basi pata na hii.....
This seem fair what do u think? Husband & his wife agreed dat anytym dey wnt 2 v sex, dey wil cal it 'Fone call' so dat d kids wil nt knw. 1day,d husband was horny & snt his son 2 tell his mother dat he wnts 2 make a fone call.Mother replied: Tell ur father,d network is bad 2day,father says: tel ur Mother dat if dere is no network @ home I wil go 2 d 'public fone' wife replies: tell ur father dat if he dares go to a ''Public fone'' den I wil open a call center
A Girl posts an advertisement in newspaper for her Life-partner.
"Need a person who never leaves me,
never beats me
And
can satisfy me on bed"
Next day a guy with no arms and legs knocks at her door.
Girl: who are U?
Guy: I want to be ur husband.
Girl: U don't fit for that.
Guy: I don't have arms,
So i can't beat u.
I don't have legs,
so i can't leave u.
Girl: How can u satisfy me on bed ?
Guy:
How do u think i knocked the door..?
hahahaha hii ni kiboko,ji huni hilo lilifikaje mbinguni?Husband and wife meet in heaven, wife says we are finally together again. Husband says girl I am free the deal was til death do us apart :wink2:
Little Boy: Dad, How was I Born..?
Dad: Well, Son... Ur Mom & I Got Together At "Jamii Forums". We Set up A Date Via "E-Mail" & Met In "Cyber Cafe"
Ur Mom Agreed To "Download Data" From My "PEN DRIVE".
So I put it in ur mom's USB "Port", & just When I Was About To "Transfer",
We Realized That None Of us had "Installed" any "Antivirus".
It Was Too Late To hit "Cancel"
Nine Months Later A "Pop-up Window" Appeared Saying
"You Have Got A MAIL"
Little Boy: Dad, How was I Born..?
Dad: Well, Son... Ur Mom & I Got Together At "jamii forum". We Set up A Date Via "E-Mail" & Met In "Cyber Cafe"
Ur Mom Agreed To "Download Data" From My "PEN DRIVE".
So I put it in ur mom's USB "Port", & just When I Was About To "Transfer",
We Realized That None Of us had "Installed" any "Antivirus".
It Was Too Late To hit "Cancel"
Nine Months Later A "Pop-up Window" Appeared Saying
"You Have Got A MAIL"