''hivi huyu uliyenaye unadhani ndiye ulistahili kuwa naye''??.....


SnowBall

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Wanabodi mambo zenu!
Labda nianze hivi KILA mtu anatamani DUNIA iwe mahali pa salama na watu tufurahie maisha kwa kila nukta ipitayo. Na kama sikosei kila mmoja wetu anatamani MAISHA yake ya MAPENZI/MAHUSIANO yamnyokee yaani pasiwepo na ULAGHAI au UDANGANYIFU...Lakini ukitazama sana kwa trend ya nyuzi nyingi zinazotupiwa hapa MMU inaonyesha dhahiri shahiri MAPENZI hayako salama..na UONGO kama sio UDANGANYIFU umetamalaki sana. Nachelea kutoa LAWAMA kijinsia kwa kusema kundi flani ndio TATIZO....But i guess there is a big problem behind the scene even more than what we could think!!

Tatizo ninaloliona ni kuwa BINADAMU huenda tumetofautiana sana katika nini tunahitaji kwenye MAHUSIANO..Ni kweli pia inawezekana hatujipi MUDA wa KUTAFAKARI kile tunachohitaji au pengine hatupati WATU wanaoendana na MAHITAJI yetu..Na kama tunaamini kuwa kila kila mmoja wetu anastahili kuenjoy MAPENZI ya DHATI sasa kwa nini tunatesana ladies and gentlemen??..Kwa nini UMKWAZE umpendaye??.Swali langu kwa wake kwa waume ni hili: ''HIVI HUYU ULIYENAYE UNADHANI NDIYE U/LI/NASTAHILI KUWA NAYE''?...Kama jibu lako litakuwa YES!..Huyu ndiye HASWAAAAA NILIYEMTAKA...Basi hebu tujiulize hivi vijiswali?

1.Mbona hukomi kuwa unamchunguzachunguza?( of course ni dalili ya kutomuamini)
2.Mbona unahisi kama hazijali hisia zako? (of course ni dalili ya kutojiamini)
3.Mbona humuamini kama zamani? (dalili ya kuchokana)
4.Na Je wanaolalamika hapa MMU ni akina nani kama sio mimi na wewe?

TAFAKARI CHUKUA HATUA...Nimemaliza!!
 
snowhite

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snowhite

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pacha hili swali hili!
mh!
laweza kufanya watu wajiulize kimatendo matendo ujue!
nachelea huu uzi utafanya watu wajitambue sana kihisia hasa kama tukiamua kuzungumza kile hasa cha ndani ya nyoyo zetu!
c'amon people karibuni tufunguke !
ARE THE MR AND MRS RIGHT RIGHT?
 
SnowBall

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SnowBall

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Yup hili litakuwa mujarab kwa sababu INAWEZEKANA tukawa tunalaumu wimbo hauchezeki badala ya kumlaumu MTUNZI...Karibu kwa majadiliano pacha

pacha hili swali hili!
mh!
laweza kufanya watu wajiulize kimatendo matendo ujue!
nachelea huu uzi utafanya watu wajitambue sana kihisia hasa kama tukiamua kuzungumza kile hasa cha ndani ya nyoyo zetu!
c'amon people karibuni tufunguke !
ARE THE MR AND MRS RIGHT RIGHT?
 
BRO LEE

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Ni ngumu m2 kudhibitisha kuwa aliyenaye ndiye haswa 'kipande chake cha ubavu' ila unaweza kugundua aliyelazishia kipande cha mwenzake kuwa chake wao kila cku mahusiano yapo ICU na kuna kitu kinawaunganisha zaidi ya suala ya msingi la wao kuwa pamoja.
Ndoa/mahusiano ya zamani yalijengwa baina ya wa2 wanaofahamiana vizuri na ndo maana m2 alipotaka kuoa/kuolewa aliulizwa anaoa/olewa kwenye ukoo gani na kadhalika lengo lilikuwa ni kuangalia 'ulinganifu' ambao ndo msingi wa ndoa kuwa imara na kudumu. Leo hii wa2 wanakutana kimjini mjini na kumalizana kimjini mjini hakuna cha background wala behind the scene, kesho itajiju lenyewe.
 
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SnowBall sijajua kama utapata majibu sahihi hapa.

Wanabodi mambo zenu!
Labda nianze hivi KILA mtu anatamani DUNIA iwe mahali pa salama na watu tufurahie maisha kwa kila nukta ipitayo. Na kama sikosei kila mmoja wetu anatamani MAISHA yake ya MAPENZI/MAHUSIANO yamnyokee yaani pasiwepo na ULAGHAI au UDANGANYIFU...Lakini ukitazama sana kwa trend ya nyuzi nyingi zinazotupiwa hapa MMU inaonyesha dhahiri shahiri MAPENZI hayako salama..na UONGO kama sio UDANGANYIFU umetamalaki sana. Nachelea kutoa LAWAMA kijinsia kwa kusema kundi flani ndio TATIZO....But i guess there is a big problem behind the scene even more than what we could think!!

Tatizo ninaloliona ni kuwa BINADAMU huenda tumetofautiana sana katika nini tunahitaji kwenye MAHUSIANO..Ni kweli pia inawezekana hatujipi MUDA wa KUTAFAKARI kile tunachohitaji au pengine hatupati WATU wanaoendana na MAHITAJI yetu..Na kama tunaamini kuwa kila kila mmoja wetu anastahili kuenjoy MAPENZI ya DHATI sasa kwa nini tunatesana ladies and gentlemen??..Kwa nini UMKWAZE umpendaye??.Swali langu kwa wake kwa waume ni hili: ''HIVI HUYU ULIYENAYE UNADHANI NDIYE U/LI/NASTAHILI KUWA NAYE''?...Kama jibu lako litakuwa YES!..Huyu ndiye HASWAAAAA NILIYEMTAKA...Basi hebu tujiulize hivi vijiswali?

1.Mbona hukomi kuwa unamchunguzachunguza?( of course ni dalili ya kutomuamini)
2.Mbona unahisi kama hazijali hisia zako? (of course ni dalili ya kutojiamini)
3.Mbona humuamini kama zamani? (dalili ya kuchokana)
4.Na Je wanaolalamika hapa MMU ni akina nani kama sio mimi na wewe?

TAFAKARI CHUKUA HATUA...Nimemaliza!!
 
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SnowBall

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Hapa ndipo mzizi wa MADA yangu BRO LEE
Hata kama tunakutana KIMJINIMJINI hivi tunashindwaje kuheshimu hisia za wenzetu?
Huenda Mapenzi yamebadilika sana nowadays!!

Ni ngumu m2 kudhibitisha kuwa aliyenaye ndiye haswa 'kipande chake cha ubavu' ila unaweza kugundua aliyelazishia kipande cha mwenzake kuwa chake wao kila cku mahusiano yapo ICU na kuna kitu kinawaunganisha zaidi ya suala ya msingi la wao kuwa pamoja.
Ndoa/mahusiano ya zamani yalijengwa baina ya wa2 wanaofahamiana vizuri na ndo maana m2 alipotaka kuoa/kuolewa aliulizwa anaoa/olewa kwenye ukoo gani na kadhalika lengo lilikuwa ni kuangalia 'ulinganifu' ambao ndo msingi wa ndoa kuwa imara na kudumu. Leo hii wa2 wanakutana kimjini mjini na kumalizana kimjini mjini hakuna cha background wala behind the scene, kesho itajiju lenyewe.
 
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nyumba kubwa

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nyumba kubwa

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Kuna maswala mawili hapa..1)niliye naye ni perfect?...2)niliyenaye siye.

Kwa swali la kwanza jibu ni obvious kwani hakuna mkamilifu duniani

Kwa swali la pili jibu likiwa positive maana yake umeshawazia substitute...kuna mtu labda ulimkataa sasa hivi unajutia na kudhani ungekuwa nae maisha yangekuwa kama peponi; which could not be true in reality.

Mimi niliyenaye si perfect kwa kuwa hakuna mtu perfect duniani me included...ila sijawahi kujutia kuwa nae na kuwaza 'bora ningekuwa na fulani' na hili ni jibu honest. Nikiangalia nilowaacha nafurahia uamuzi wa kuwa na nilenaye kwa kuwa kama mume bora amewazidi maili 100. (hata marafiki na ndugu unambia nilivyo na bahati kupata mume kama huyu)

Sasa sijuhi kama na yeye ana same feelings/views au angeambiwa arudie uamuzi wake asingenichagua mimi. Lol.
 
SnowBall

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Ni swali gumu lakini ukiliangalia kwa JICHO la tatu linaweza kuwa linajibika vizuri tu pacha!!
Hebu jiulize kuwa ukipewa 'the second chance would you still stick to the same guy/lady'??

ukisikia a 64,000 million dollars question ndio hii!daaah!
 
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Ukirudi kwenye maandiko utagundua kuwa hakuna binadamu aliye mkamilifu hapa duniani hivyo katika maisha ni lazima mambo haya yatokee ili binadamu aendelee kuishi.
 
SnowBall

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Jamani nimewasoma BUT nashangaa kwa nini tumeresort kwenye 'sababu nyepesi'...
Hivi ni kweli tunaingia kwenye MAPENZI ni first place tukijua kuwa 'NOBODY IS PERFECT'?
Let's assume kuwa nobody is perfect..hivi tunawezaje sasa ku-condemn kuwa my love is not faithful kama tayari tumeshakuwa prejudiced??

....Mimi niliyenaye si perfect kwa kuwa hakuna mtu perfect duniani me included...ila sijawahi kujutia kuwa nae na kuwaza 'bora ningekuwa na fulani' na hili ni jibu honest. ..
... hakuna binadamu aliye mkamilifu hapa duniani hivyo katika maisha ni lazima mambo haya yatokee ili binadamu aendelee kuishi.
 
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nafikiri mambo haya lazima yatokee katika maisha ili dumia izunguke vizuri kwenye mhimili wake jamani dunia will never be the best place to stay never.
hivi vitu vingine vyanishangaza sana mimi niseme hapa eti huyu nilie nae siye na tayari ninae nikujiumiza tu SnowBall nikishasema sie itasaidia nini kwa sie watoto wamujini mapenzi sio dhana kubwa sana mradi maisha yanakwenda hukosi lolote waweza mpenda hata mzee tu yatosha,mujini ni mipango kufaa /kutokufaa anakujua mtu binafsi ikitegemea nini alifuata pale!!mie sina tatizo nipo tu sijui anafaa au hafai hahahahaahah

ngoja niwape mfano hai leo
tulikuwa kwenye semina mja wiki kama mbili zimeisha ,mimi na mttoto wetu mdogo tulikuwa tumekaa upande mwingine mbele kabisa ,mume wangu alikuwa amekaa nyuma ila upande mwingine ,mtoa mada akauliza ni nani kati yenu anampenda mke wake upendo uleule toka alipomuoa,mume wangu pekee ndiye aliyenyoosha katika wanaume wote pale ndani,ikaja wanawake nilinyoosha mwenyewewatu wapo zaidi ya 300 sasa mkutano ukaisha nikaanza mlaumu kumbe wewe hunipenditena akacheka sana akaniambia mimi ndio mwanaume pekee niliyenyoosha .hii pia haidhihirishi upendo au kufaa pia ni kuthamini jamani.ridhika tu na kile ulichonacho umegundua kizuri au kibaya let love lead jitahidi tu uishi miaka mingi.
 
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nyumba kubwa

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nyumba kubwa

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Sijakupata vema...na si suala la ku presume ila ni ku judge kabisa kwani si kasoro zote huwa hatuziona kabla ya kuamua kuoa/kuolewa ila tunazichukulia poa kwa kuwa tunapima na kuona ni ndogo na zinavumilika...sasa wewe tatizo umeona cheating ndo kasoro pekee ndio maana unaongelea prejudice.

Mimi nikisema mume wangu si perfect sifanyi assumption na wala sikuwahi ku presume...ninazijua kasoro zake na anazo since we met hazinikwazi kihiiivyooo. kwa ufupi hajabadilika sana kitabia alivyo ndivyo alivyokuwa 12 years tulipokutana hivyo sijawahi ku presume chochote naongelea facts.

Jamani nimewasoma BUT nashangaa kwa nini tumeresort kwenye 'sababu nyepesi'...
Hivi ni kweli tunaingia kwenye MAPENZI ni first place tukijua kuwa 'NOBODY IS PERFECT'?
Let's assume kuwa nobody is perfect..hivi tunawezaje sasa ku-condemn kuwa my love is not faithful kama tayari tumeshakuwa prejudiced??
 
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Labda swali likinadilika kidogo kuna weza kuwa na ufumbuzi. Liwe hivi "Mimi ninastahili kuwa na Dan?" badala ya "Dan anastahili kuwa na mimi?".

Lingine liwe, ninataka uhusiano na Dan?
Naweza kwenda mbali kiasi gani katika kuUFANYA uhusiano uwe PERFECT badala ya kumfanya Dan kuwa my own version ya perfect.

Just thinking aloud.
 
BRO LEE

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Hapa ndipo mzizi wa MADA yangu BRO LEE
Hata kama tunakutana KIMJINIMJINI hivi tunashindwaje kuheshimu hisia za wenzetu?
Huenda Mapenzi yamebadilika sana nowadays!!
Ni kweli mapenzi yamebadilika sana cku hizi, na labda swali la kujiuliza ni kwa nini m2 anaoa/kuolewa, na kwa nini anataka kumuoa/kuolewa na huyo aliyenaye. Hivi km m2 anasema umri umesonga bora niolewe/oe na atakaye kuja mbele yangu ndo huyohuyo unatarajia nini? au unasikia wazazi oa utaumwa ucku ukose wa kukuletea maji, hivi km mke ni wa kuleta maji/ kupika/kufua na kutunza nyumba c wanawake wengi 2 wataweza hata kwa kufundishwa?. Je, ni nini mwanaume/ mwanamke anakiona kwa mwenzie ambacho ni maalumu kuzidi wanawake/wanaume wengine na anatakiwa kukienzi na kukichunga? km hamna usitarajie km suala la kuheshimu hisia litakuwepoo.
 
SnowBall

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Yup nimekupata..na unachojaribu kusema ni kuwa 'je mimi nafaa kuwa na flani'?..i mean ianze na mimi kwanza!!
Its the same thing na ile kusema 'watendee wenzako vile ungependa wewe utendewe'
Vyovyote utakavoiweka nadhani 'concept' ni kuona 'how should i play my part into making our love perfect'?..ryte?

Labda swali likinadilika kidogo kuna weza kuwa na ufumbuzi. Liwe hivi "Mimi ninastahili kuwa na Dan?" badala ya "Dan anastahili kuwa na mimi?".

Lingine liwe, ninataka uhusiano na Dan?
Naweza kwenda mbali kiasi gani katika kuUFANYA uhusiano uwe PERFECT badala ya kumfanya Dan kuwa my own version ya perfect.

Just thinking aloud.
 
nyumba kubwa

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nyumba kubwa

nyumba kubwa

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Hapo umeongea point kabisa...inategemea msingi wa ndoa ulikuwa nini pressure ya umri? wazazi? umependa? na kama umependa umependea nini? yote haya yana matter sana kwenye kujibu hili swali 'uliye naye ndiye au siye'?

Kama ulifanya choice na si kuoa/kuolewa kwa kuwa hukuwa na jinsi...basi hata mambo yakienda ndivyo sivyo katu hutajiuliza niliye naye siye au ndiye...badala yake utasema mimi sitakaa nioe au kuolewa kamwe kwani your mr. right amechemsha who else atayeweza kukidhi vigezo?????

Na hata ukichunguza wale walochagua kweli (si bora liende) na wakatendwa basi wana remain single forever kwani waliyeamini ni number one kashindwa nani ataweza?

Ni kweli mapenzi yamebadilika sana cku hizi, na labda swali la kujiuliza ni kwa nini m2 anaoa/kuolewa, na kwa nini anataka kumuoa/kuolewa na huyo aliyenaye. Hivi km m2 anasema umri umesonga bora niolewe/oe na atakaye kuja mbele yangu ndo huyohuyo unatarajia nini? au unasikia wazazi oa utaumwa ucku ukose wa kukuletea maji, hivi km mke ni wa kuleta maji/ kupika/kufua na kutunza nyumba c wanawake wengi 2 wataweza hata kwa kufundishwa?. Je, ni nini mwanaume/ mwanamke anakiona kwa mwenzie ambacho ni maalumu kuzidi wanawake/wanaume wengine na anatakiwa kukienzi na kukichunga? km hamna usitarajie km suala la kuheshimu hisia litakuwepoo.
 
MR. ABLE

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Niliyenaye ni kweli ndiye anayestahili kuwa nami. isipokuwa unapaswa kujua kwamba Mwanamke ni kama empty cd, kwamba wewe ndiye utakayea amua uburn nini kwenye hiyo cd ili ikuburudishe kila wakati.

Pia mwanamke ni kama mtoto mdogo, anahitaji kufundishwa kila mara uonapo mwenendo wake si mzuri, kwani ni kiumbe dhaifu sana na mwepesi wa kushawishika na kudanganyika. ndio maana hata katika biblia tuanaambiwa pale bustani ya eden mtu aliyekuwa wa kwanza kushawishika alikuwa mwanamke kwa kudanganywa na nyoka, kwamba nyoka yule alijua fika kwamba akimshawishi Eva atafanikiwa.

Ingependeza sana kama mtu ungeweza kuishi peke yako bila mwenza hii miliomilio ya kusalitiwa msingeisikia, ila kwa sababu ya zinaa tukashauriwa kila mtu na awe na mke wake peke yake na usimtamani wa mwenzako.

Napia tukashauriwa kwamba hawa wanawake tuishi nao kwa akili sana, kwani Mungu alijua hawa watu ni mapichapicha, mtu hukawii kukwazika.
 
Joseph

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Joseph

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Jamani nimewasoma BUT nashangaa kwa nini tumeresort kwenye 'sababu nyepesi'...
Hivi ni kweli tunaingia kwenye MAPENZI ni first place tukijua kuwa 'NOBODY IS PERFECT'?
Let's assume kuwa nobody is perfect..hivi tunawezaje sasa ku-condemn kuwa my love is not faithful kama tayari tumeshakuwa prejudiced??
Ili uweze kuishi vizuri yafaa utambue kuwa kila binadamu ana kasoro zake,na ili uweze kuishi nae kwa misingi ya maelewano yafaa kuelewa kuwa kuna mambo ambayo wewe unaona hayafai basi mwenzako anaweza kuona yanafaa,kuna watu wanaishi kwa kujiona wapo sahihi kwa kila kitu na hawako tayari kukubali kukosea mara inapotokea kuwa hawapo sahihi na hii hupelekea matatizo katika maisha yao ya kimapenzi.
Ni vema kuingia katika mapenzi huku ukijua kuwa kuna changamoto zake kama kusalitiana na kasoro nyingine ambazo tunaziona kila siku katika jamii yetu kuliko kuingia katika mapenzi huku ukijua kuna raha tu kitu ambacho si kweli.
 

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