Falcon
JF-Expert Member
- Aug 16, 2010
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Luke Gibbons started viewing online pornography when he was a teenager and by the end of university was addicted to it
Luke Gibbons looks like any other young Australian guy. The 29-year-old has a job in marketing in Melbourne, enjoys going out with friends and spending time in the outdoors.
Unlike many twenty-somethings, however, he has never had sex, never had a girlfriend, and has been to rehab – for his long-term addiction to pornography.
Luke first saw pornography when he was 11 years old and a friend showed him one of his father's magazines. About this age he also remembers watching sex scenes on late-night television and in movies. But it was when his parents had the internet installed in their house that what began as 'curiosity' turned into a full-blown addiction.
'It was something I didn't want to be doing but I was doing it anyway. Even before I understood what an addiction was, that side of it meant it was an addiction for me,' he told Daily Mail Australia.
'It was starting to take up large chunks of my time; I was lying to people about what I was doing in my spare time. I'd stay up viewing all night and go to work on an hour's sleep, it was affecting my productivity, my health, my relationships and friendships,' he said.
'There were times I didn't turn up to people's parties or I wouldn't go out, because I'd been viewing all day, or I'd think, I'll just view one more thing before I leave. It's a bit like when someone goes into a casino and they lose track of time and then they realise they've been in there for a day.'
Pornography also sapped Luke's interest in finding a girlfriend.
'I still had an interest in relationships but I didn't ever feel that massive pull to do anything about it, compared to now, where I feel, I'd really like to have a relationship with someone, it's almost like the motivation isn't there.
I was less interested in putting in the effort required to love somebody,' he said.
Luke is one of the subjects speaking openly about the subject of pornography in an ABC documentary to be aired on Wednesday.
He joins with Melbourne couple Ken and Gillian, whose relationship has been tested by Ken's sex addiction, and Elle and Jerome, who perform webcam 'peep shows' from their Sydney home.
The journalist behind the documentary, Sabour Bradley, said he first got the idea of exploring the topic of pornography when he heard that a friend of a friend was going to rehab for an addiction to it.
'I had no idea the situation got so bad, I saw all these stories in the media bout relationships being destroyed by porn addiction, I thought, I need to understand this better,' he told Daily Mail Australia.
Bradley talked to sex therapists and psychological experts in pornography addiction who likened the influence of pornography on relationships to 'a tsunami about to break' and 'cancer'. But despite its far-reaching effects, says Bradley, people often are still not willing to talk about pornography.
'We found people in porn addiction groups, in marriage counselling, in rehab centres; they were happy to talk but no one wanted to go on camera. There's this massive shame and guilt about porn.'
Luke, who is a Christian, said he felt a 'deep level of shame' about his addiction and at the age of 25, sick of being at the mercy of his addiction, Luke's friends suggested he go to a rehabilitation centre in Adelaide.
'It sounded pretty full on, but I was willing to do anything because I really wanted to stop,' he said.
Luke is one of the subjects of a documentary exploring sex and porn addiction, produced by Sabour Bradley (right). Other subjects include Jerome (left) and Elle (centre), who perform webcam 'peep shows' from their home
His friends drove him out to the clinic and he spent six weeks at the clinic that catered to people with addictions of all kinds.
'The hardest thing was seeing those guys drive away. A lot of emotions came out, I remember calling my parents and telling them where I was… That's the day I felt myself hitting rock bottom and thinking: This is where it's brought me.'
The journey since rehab has been long and sometimes difficult.
'I probably went in thinking, I'll do six weeks here and it'll be perfect, but that's not how it works,' he said. 'I can see how much better my life is now – I'm fitter, I'm healthier, I'm more connected with my friends, I feel better about myself.'
Where once he was not particularly interested in finding a girlfriend, he is now going on dates and has been interested in a couple of different women.
Luke volunteers with Guilty Pleasure, an organisation that aims to raise awareness about the harmful effects of pornography, and Luke says he has to work at re-wiring his brain in some respects.
'I'm working on… appreciating women as friends, seeing them as a beautiful creation of God. To treat them not as an object but as a living breathing person who deserves respect,' he said.
Source:Dailymail
