Anataka nimuoe na mtoto wake

[mhemeavisogo]

Shida mkuu its like wanatunishiana misuli na huyo mzazi mwenzake akili ya mama mtoto hataki kabisa baba aje kumchukua mtoto wake so anakazimisha yule baba asitambulike wakati huo huo mtoto anatambulika kwa jina la baba yake, na pia kuna tukio la baba alijaribu kumwiba mtoto so baba anamtaka mwanae ila siyo kumhudumia akiwa mikononi mwa mama. Sasa mama mtoto anataka nichukue tu majukumu sasababu tu yeye na baba mtoto wameshindwana.

Mshauri huyo Binti asilazimishe Mawasiliano na baba mtoto wake, Wanawake wanatabia moja kama hampendi kabisa huyo jamaa angeisha Mpelekea huyo mtoto mapema sana, Ili kuondoa matatizo na kutokukupoteza wewe. Ndani ya moyo wa huyo bint still anampenda baba mtoto wake ndio maana anatafuta mwanzo wa mazungumzo yao. Yaliyo kukuta wewe ni the same story kama yaliyo mkuta Jamaa yangu. So watch out dude.

 

[KATASAN'KAZA]

Mshauri huyo Binti asilazimishe Mawasiliano na baba mtoto wake, Wanawake wanatabia moja kama hampendi kabisa huyo jamaa angeisha Mpelekea huyo mtoto mapema sana, Ili kuondoa matatizo na kutokukupoteza wewe. Ndani ya moyo wa huyo bint still anampenda baba mtoto wake ndio maana anatafuta mwanzo wa mazungumzo yao. Yaliyo kukuta wewe ni the same story kama yaliyo mkuta Jamaa yangu. So watch out dude.

Asante mkuu!

 

[mapipando]

Mkuu unaweza usipate ufumbuzi wa tatizo lako kama wote wawili hamtabadili mitazamo yenu hasi.Nikianza na wewe,unapaswa kumchukulia huyo mtoto kama wa kwako kabisa ukizingatia no body knows tomorrow na ukifanya hivyo utamjali na kumpenda huku ukiamini bila wewe kumtengezea misingi mizuri ya maisha yake hakuna mwingine tena mwenye jukumu hilo,hii itakusaidia kutokufikiri kuhusu kwa nini baba yake asifanye a b c kwa mwanae.Futa mawazo hasi kwa lolote lile juu ya mama na mwanae.Huwezi jua Mungu atakufanyia nini katika maisha yako yaliyobaki hapa duniani kwasababu ya kumtunza huyo malaika wake na pia huwezi jua huyo mtoto atakuja kuwa nani hapo baadae.If you will think thoroughly as well as positively you will understand what i am talking about.

Kuhusu mkeo,mweleze akubali huyo mtoto asomeshwe na baba yake ingawa mtoto wa miaka minne kukaa boarding itakuwa si vema sana.

Kila mtu hapa aamejaribu na wanaendelea kutoa ushauri wao juu ya tatizo lako lakini mwisho siku mwenye maamuzi ya maisha ya namna gani uishi ni wewe mwenyewe.

Pole sana mkuu, please just think positively and i hope you will find out a suitable solution to your problem.

 

[KV LONDON]

Oa acha ubabaishaji, kwani mtoto c mtoto tu, hata wewe utawapata, mwache mtoto akue kidogo akiwa na akili atarudi kwa baba yake tu

 

[moto2012]

My dear huyo baba ni mkatili na umeshudia we we mwenyewe . Just kitendo cha yeye kutaka mwanae aende boarding at age 4 kinaonyesha kabisa hajali huyo mtoto . its like he is paying back something to his ex kumbe unamuuza mtoto. Huyo baba hafai hata kuitwa Baba. Nani alisema baba is to put mbegu then uiache ikue yenyewe bila utunzaji? Siku zote mtunzaji ndio hula matunda hata kama ni machache .
Dear narudia tena kama unasuasua kuingia kwa hii situation acha dear usijiliazimishe . Lakini kama unaona unaweza au utaweza kaa chini discuss na mwenzio weka mambo yote mezani . Achana kujiumiza kichwa na mtu ambaye sio responsible and you are already know it . Why wasting your time ? Kama kuoana muoane msonge na Maisha. Kama kuachana muachane before its too late . Ila think very well before you make decision. Mimi binafsi nisingependa mtoto akuzoee na kukuita Baba halafu baada ya muda unaondoka hii itamuumiza sana tena sana . So please try to decide as soon as possible . Thanks.

loveissweet are you a single parent ? Or are you coming from single parent family as a result either ya kutelekezwa na baba or divorce of your parents? Naomba unijibu ili ni pate pa kuanzia. Nimesoma comments zako nyingi sijakupata vizuri, just be honest.

 

[NANDERA]

Mkuu siyo tu nilimuuamini nilikuwa na buy time huku nikimbana na kumchunguza kwa umakini ata kumua kwenda ustawi ni mimi baada ya kumkazia na kumwambia ampeleke mzazi mwenzio huko mimi siko tayari kumlea mtoto mwenye baba yake! Cha ajabu anajutia karibu na kufa hana baba wala mama kazaliw peke yake baba zake wadogo na wakubwa walimkataa wakachukua mali zao kakulia kwa mjomba wake.

mimi ni mwanamke mwenye mtoto kabla ya ndoa. Nakushauri umuache huyo dada. Ushasema analia sana, hataki kutengana na mtoto wake kutokana na uzoefu wake. Nakuomba sana umuache, alie na Mungu wake kama hajiri alivyolia na Mungu wake jangwani huku amemshikilia ismail wake. Kama umeona huyo dada alishaachana na mzazi mwenzie, na wewe umeona mzazi mwenzie anamkomoa kwa kutaka kumnyang'anya mtoto akae nae au aende boarding ulitakiwa uwe upande wa huyu dada, lakini badala yake unaungana na mwanaume mwenzio kumkandamiza. Huyu dada alishakata mawasiliano na mzazi mwenzie pengine kwa kuhofia maumivu; wewe ukamtuma ampeleke mzazi mwenzie ustawi wa jamii. Jamaa amekubali kulea mtoto ila kwa masharti yake ambayo yanamuumiza mama na mtoto.

Kama huwezi kulea mtoto ambaye baba yake yuko hai, na huyo dada hayuko tayari kuwa mbali na mwanae kwa kuwa anaogopa atanyanyaswa na mama wa kambo, basi suluhisho ni kumuacha aishi single mpaka afe au mpaka akutane na mwanaume atakayekuwa-comfortable na hali yake.

Watu wengi waliongia kwenye ndoa za aina hii kwa kusitasita wana mahangaiko, ila walioingia wakijua wana changamoto gani na wakajipanga kukabiliana nazo wana furaha kwenye ndoa zao. Kwa kuwa unasita muache huyo dada. Kilio atakacholia kwa kuachwa na kidogo kuliko atakacholia kwa kutengwa na mwanae. Halafu hata sijui utakuwa na raha gani kwa kuishi na mke mwenye huzuni. Kwa ufupi hiyo ndoa bila huyo mtoto itakosa furaha kutokana na huzuni ya mke, na ikiwa na huyo mtoto bila ridhaa yako ya moyo mkunjufu itakosa furaha kwa gubu la mume. Kwa hiyo bwaga manyanga kama unampenda huyo dada.

 

[NANDERA]

Teh...akupe mimba mwingine, utake mwingine aje kukupenda na ampende mwanao equally.
Everyone should be responsible for his doings, the child's father is responsible for nurturing his baby.
Poleni mliozaa kabla ya ndoa.

nimeshapoa, asante

 

[NANDERA]

Mkuu well said....! Trully seemed you have understood where i have been facing difficulties. Ts simple like that i had no any hesitation with this Angel (kid) and i'm really willingly to help in some matters like nimemkubalia mtoto atakaa kwangu bure, ale bure na alale bure pia nitampenda ka watoto wangu wengine ila nikamwambia basi baba yake atake Care some basic responsibilities km kumlipia karo ya shule na matibabu makubwa but still hataki.

Juzi kati dogo kauugua jino analala analia mama hana pesa nikaona huruma nikamlipia more than 30000 thsands akatibiwa sasa najiuliza why huyu baba agome kuhudumia mwanae huku anauwezo wa kufanya hivyo. Kiukweli inaumiza sana.

kaka ni hivi, negligent parents wapo na wataendelea kuwepo. Tena kwa legal system ya bongo ndo kabisaa....Ina maana huyo mchumbako alikuwa hajui kama jamaa yupo ana kipato kikubwa? Labda wanawake ndo tunaweza kuelewa kuwa kuna wakati kubaki peke yako na mtoto huku mkiwa hamna uhakika wa chakula ni salama kuliko kumkabili mtu anayejua ana wajibu lakini hataki kuwajibika, mbaya zaidi wameumizana hisia. Hebu nikuulize swali, ungekuwa na kipato kikubwa kuliko huyo jamaa ingekuwa rahisi kumpokea huyo dogo? Kama jibu ni "ndiyo" basi amini na udhamirie kuongeza kipato ili uweze kumkimu huyo mtoto. Au hata ungekuwa na kipato kikubwa ungemtaka huyo jamaa awajibike kwa kadri ya kipato chake? Kama utasema "ndiyo" basi wewe unaishi kwenye "ideal world" lakini sasa upo katika uhalisia.

Pia huyo jamaa anasumbuliwa na wivu ndo maana anamkomoa mzazi mwenzie. Pamoja na kuwa ameoa, kuna kitu ndani yake kinachotamani kumuona huyo dada akiendelea kuteseka kwenye mapenzi. Hii pia ipo. Sasa kudili na matatizo ya kisaikolojia kisheria sijui.....

 

[KATASAN'KAZA]

Mkuu unaweza usipate ufumbuzi wa tatizo lako kama wote wawili hamtabadili mitazamo yenu hasi.Nikianza na wewe,unapaswa kumchukulia huyo mtoto kama wa kwako kabisa ukizingatia no body knows tomorrow na ukifanya hivyo utamjali na kumpenda huku ukiamini bila wewe kumtengezea misingi mizuri ya maisha yake hakuna mwingine tena mwenye jukumu hilo,hii itakusaidia kutokufikiri kuhusu kwa nini baba yake asifanye a b c kwa mwanae.Futa mawazo hasi kwa lolote lile juu ya mama na mwanae.Huwezi jua Mungu atakufanyia nini katika maisha yako yaliyobaki hapa duniani kwasababu ya kumtunza huyo malaika wake na pia huwezi jua huyo mtoto atakuja kuwa nani hapo baadae.If you will think thoroughly as well as positively you will understand what i am talking about.

Kuhusu mkeo,mweleze akubali huyo mtoto asomeshwe na baba yake ingawa mtoto wa miaka minne kukaa boarding itakuwa si vema sana.

Kila mtu hapa aamejaribu na wanaendelea kutoa ushauri wao juu ya tatizo lako lakini mwisho siku mwenye maamuzi ya maisha ya namna gani uishi ni wewe mwenyewe.

Pole sana mkuu, please just think positively and i hope you will find out a suitable solution to your problem.

Well said mkuu! Anyway i think kila mawazo ya mtu yanaonesha kujenga asanteni kwa ushauri.

 

[KATASAN'KAZA]

loveissweet are you a single parent ? Or are you coming from single parent family as a result either ya kutelekezwa na baba or divorce of your parents? Naomba unijibu ili ni pate pa kuanzia. Nimesoma comments zako nyingi sijakupata vizuri, just be honest.

Mkuu ujamwelewa km mimi vile ambavyo nimedhindwa kumwelewa...!

 

[KATASAN'KAZA]

kaka ni hivi, negligent parents wapo na wataendelea kuwepo. Tena kwa legal system ya bongo ndo kabisaa....Ina maana huyo mchumbako alikuwa hajui kama jamaa yupo ana kipato kikubwa? Labda wanawake ndo tunaweza kuelewa kuwa kuna wakati kubaki peke yako na mtoto huku mkiwa hamna uhakika wa chakula ni salama kuliko kumkabili mtu anayejua ana wajibu lakini hataki kuwajibika, mbaya zaidi wameumizana hisia. Hebu nikuulize swali, ungekuwa na kipato kikubwa kuliko huyo jamaa ingekuwa rahisi kumpokea huyo dogo? Kama jibu ni "ndiyo" basi amini na udhamirie kuongeza kipato ili uweze kumkimu huyo mtoto. Au hata ungekuwa na kipato kikubwa ungemtaka huyo jamaa awajibike kwa kadri ya kipato chake? Kama utasema "ndiyo" basi wewe unaishi kwenye "ideal world" lakini sasa upo katika uhalisia.

Pia huyo jamaa anasumbuliwa na wivu ndo maana anamkomoa mzazi mwenzie. Pamoja na kuwa ameoa, kuna kitu ndani yake kinachotamani kumuona huyo dada akiendelea kuteseka kwenye mapenzi. Hii pia ipo. Sasa kudili na matatizo ya kisaikolojia kisheria sijui.....

Jamani...! confused aisei...!

 

[Tyetyetye]

Mwanzoni utaona kutunza mtoto ni jambo la kawaida, huenda hata wewe hujawa na majukumu ya watoto. Baadaye mapenzi yakipungua huyo mtoto hutatamani kumwona. Achana naye huyo mwanamke na kimbia haraka sana, pia unakula makombo kwa nini ule makombo wakati flesh zipo?

 

[NANDERA]

Jamani...! confused aisei...!

we're born to face challenges and to make the world the better place for others. Embrace that child and give him life and spare him from his irresponsible biological father. Spare him from the turmoil of living with a step mom and irresponsible dad. Spare him from living lonely in a boarding school while his mother is alive and ready to give him love and care. The child needs love than s/he needs money. DO NOT do anything that would hurt the helpless child. You wouldn't want your own child to live in boarding school at that tender age, right? Then make sure this one does not go to boarding school. Make sure the woman you love does not lose her child to her ex. How? By accepting to take care of the child or by letting her go. If you accept half responsibility you'll allow endless tensions in your marriage. Do not allow that x to come between you especially now when you his like. If I were you I would call that man and tell him "for the sake of my woman's happiness and child's welfare, the child will not go to boarding school. He'll stay with his mother, which implies will stay with me, and if you don't take responsibility, I will. Then you make an agreement and move on. Hivyo tu, mtihani unakuwa umeisha.

 

[KATASAN'KAZA]

Mwanzoni utaona kutunza mtoto ni jambo la kawaida, huenda hata wewe hujawa na majukumu ya watoto. Baadaye mapenzi yakipungua huyo mtoto hutatamani kumwona. Achana naye huyo mwanamke na kimbia haraka sana, pia unakula makombo kwa nini ule makombo wakati flesh zipo?

Mhhhh...!

 

[KATASAN'KAZA]

we're born to face challenges and to make the world the better place for others. Embrace that child and give him life and spare him from his irresponsible biological father. Spare him from the turmoil of living with a step mom and irresponsible dad. Spare him from living lonely in a boarding school while his mother is alive and ready to give him love and care. The child needs love than s/he needs money. DO NOT do anything that would hurt the helpless child. You wouldn't want your own child to live in boarding school at that tender age, right? Then make sure this one does not go to boarding school. Make sure the woman you love does not lose her child to her ex. How? By accepting to take care of the child or by letting her go. If you accept half responsibility you'll allow endless tensions in your marriage. Do not allow that x to come between you especially now when you his like. If I were you I would call that man and tell him "for the sake of my woman's happiness and child's welfare, the child will not go to boarding school. He'll stay with his mother, which implies will stay with me, and if you don't take responsibility, I will. Then you make an agreement and move on. Hivyo tu, mtihani unakuwa umeisha.

Let me give time think on yr advice...! You the only bad thing is that after all that kindhearted to her mom what if she doesn't care all goods i have done to her! Wanawake nyie always ni opportunists possible badae asione wema wangu nadhani nitaumia sana....! Sasa hivi anashida analia na kujigalagaza chini but kusahau ni siku chache zijazo.

 

[NANDERA]

Let me give time think on yr advice...! You the only bad thing is that after all that kindhearted to her mom what if she doesn't care all goods i have done to her! Wanawake nyie always ni opportunists possible badae asione wema wangu nadhani nitaumia sana....! Sasa hivi anashida analia na kujigalagaza chini but kusahau ni siku chache zijazo.

huwa napenda nifanye kitu kwa sababu moyo na akili vinaniambia ni sahihi kufanya hivyo na si kwa sababu nina-trade na wema. Ukimpa mwanadamu moyo hawezi kuutunza, lazima atakuumiza maana na yeye anafata ya moyo wake yanayoweza kukinzana na moyo wako. Kazi ya kutunza moyo ni yako. Ukijifunza kumpenda Mungu wako kwa moyo wako, akili zako na nguvu zako hutajiuliza hayo maswali unayojiuliza sasa hivi. Hutakuwa na huo wasiwasi ulio nao sasa hivi. Utaamini kuwa atakulinda na kukusaidia kwa kuwa yeye ndo anajua kesho yako unayoihofia. Namaanisha ujifunze kuishi kwa imani na matumaini mema. Kwa nini uwaze kuwa huyu dada atakuja kukutenda? Kama unamuoa yeye na kumkubali mwanae ili aje kukunyenyekea utakuwa unakosea kabla hata hujaanza. Huyo ni binadamu tu, anaweza kufanya lolote lililo ndani ya uwezo wa mwanadamu - jema au baya. Hata ukioa bikira pia atakuvunja moyo siku moja - binadamu wote tuko hivyo. Na kama unahisi kuna siku utamtamkia huyu dada "umesahau nilikokutoa.....nakulisha we na mwanao halafu unaleta kiburi....." ni bora ukamuacha aondoke zake mapemaaaa. FANYA JAMBO KWA KUWA UNASUKUMWA NA HAJA YA KUTENDA WEMA KWA AJILI YA WEMA NA SI KWA AJILI YA KUWEKA AKIBA YA FADHILA KWA MTU UNAYEMTENDEA HUO WEMA. Kuna msemo wa kizungu unasema "IN DOUBT NEVER ACT". Tulia ufikiri mpaka uone una uwezo wa kuitetea akili yako pale moyo utakapoanza kukusumbua.

 

[KATASAN'KAZA]

huwa napenda nifanye kitu kwa sababu moyo na akili vinaniambia ni sahihi kufanya hivyo na si kwa sababu nina-trade na wema. Ukimpa mwanadamu moyo hawezi kuutunza, lazima atakuumiza maana na yeye anafata ya moyo wake yanayoweza kukinzana na moyo wako. Kazi ya kutunza moyo ni yako. Ukijifunza kumpenda Mungu wako kwa moyo wako, akili zako na nguvu zako hutajiuliza hayo maswali unayojiuliza sasa hivi. Hutakuwa na huo wasiwasi ulio nao sasa hivi. Utaamini kuwa atakulinda na kukusaidia kwa kuwa yeye ndo anajua kesho yako unayoihofia. Namaanisha ujifunze kuishi kwa imani na matumaini mema. Kwa nini uwaze kuwa huyu dada atakuja kukutenda? Kama unamuoa yeye na kumkubali mwanae ili aje kukunyenyekea utakuwa unakosea kabla hata hujaanza. Huyo ni binadamu tu, anaweza kufanya lolote lililo ndani ya uwezo wa mwanadamu - jema au baya. Hata ukioa bikira pia atakuvunja moyo siku moja - binadamu wote tuko hivyo. Na kama unahisi kuna siku utamtamkia huyu dada "umesahau nilikokutoa.....nakulisha we na mwanao halafu unaleta kiburi....." ni bora ukamuacha aondoke zake mapemaaaa. FANYA JAMBO KWA KUWA UNASUKUMWA NA HAJA YA KUTENDA WEMA KWA AJILI YA WEMA NA SI KWA AJILI YA KUWEKA AKIBA YA FADHILA KWA MTU UNAYEMTENDEA HUO WEMA. Kuna msemo wa kizungu unasema "IN DOUBT NEVER ACT". Tulia ufikiri mpaka uone una uwezo wa kuitetea akili yako pale moyo utakapoanza kukusumbua.

Haya bhana...!

 

[Capt Nemo]

Dear what I understanding that the Father of the child has a good job but He gave his baby mama a condition that he can take care the child if she will b at boarding school .. si hivyo kaka au? Sasa mama motto hataki her daughter aende huko boarding school wala kwa mama wa kufikia because she is too young. So kamuambia huyu kaka yetu wamuhudumie au amuhudumie kama mwanae, si hivyo au? Sasa tatizo ni kuwa huyu my brother haoni umuhimu ya yeye kufanya hivyo kama the biological father ana kazi nzuri. Na hii issue hata ustawi Wa jamii iliishia kuwa baba MTU yuko okay kusaidia if only the child ataenda boarding . Nieleweshe tafadhali kama sijaelewa. Naomba mnielewe siko hapa kumuandama huyu ndugu yangu . Ila kwa kusita kwake Ku take over majukumu ya child kama mchumba wake anavyomuomba ndio kimenifanya niseme hayuko tayari kufanya hivyo so asijilazimishe . Hakuna kitu kigumu kama kulea mtoto ambaye sio wako . Yahitaji Mungu, Love , Patient , wisdom , Encourage and passion . Sasa je yuko tayari to provide all that as a sacrifice? I doubt it . Because alishasema kuwa kwa swala hilo linamtia woga kumuoa huyo mama Wa watu nimeona hii from one of his answer. Sasa basi ili asijiumize ajitoe kwa huyo Dada ili ajiepushe na yote.
My dear kuna vitu vinakwepeka lakini si hivi unless uachane navyo kabisa kuepusha Shari. But hey we are different..Baba mzazi ni Wa kuondelewa pichani because there is no hope to get help from there .. Ajipange ajue nini cha kufanya .. either amuoe huyo Dada na kukaa na mtoto as mwanae or aachane na huyo Dada kuepukana na hiyo drama ya baby mama and baby daddy ... Nisamehe tafadhali kama sivyo nilivyoelewa. Hapa ninachomuonea Huruma ni child tuu ambaye hana hatia... Thanks..

umeeleweka wangu...lakini tukubaliane kuwa issue sio as simple as kama baba hataki kulea mimi nitalea....jamaa yetu anataka wazazi wa mtoto wafikie muafaka na kukubaliana jinsi ya kumlea mtoto...pengine anadhani mama mtoto yupo so rigid kiasi kwamba anakomalia msimamo wake, ndio maana nimemuadvise kuwa pioint za mama za kutotaka mtoto apelekwe boarding au akaleewe na mama wa kambo ni za msingi...na nimemshauri ikiwezekana yeye abebe tu msalaba amlee mtoto na siku baba akimtaka mwanae na mama akaridhia basi amuachie

NISICHOKITAKA NI WATU KUTUMIA KIGEZO CHA KUSITA KUMLEA MTOTO KAMA KIPIMO CHA MAPENZI YAKE KWA MAMA MTOTO

 

[mumemwema]

umeeleweka wangu...lakini tukubaliane kuwa issue sio as simple as kama baba hataki kulea mimi nitalea....jamaa yetu anataka wazazi wa mtoto wafikie muafaka na kukubaliana jinsi ya kumlea mtoto...pengine anadhani mama mtoto yupo so rigid kiasi kwamba anakomalia msimamo wake, ndio maana nimemuadvise kuwa pioint za mama za kutotaka mtoto apelekwe boarding au akaleewe na mama wa kambo ni za msingi...na nimemshauri ikiwezekana yeye abebe tu msalaba amlee mtoto na siku baba akimtaka mwanae na mama akaridhia basi amuachie

NISICHOKITAKA NI WATU KUTUMIA KIGEZO CHA KUSITA KUMLEA MTOTO KAMA KIPIMO CHA MAPENZI YAKE KWA MAMA MTOTO

Thank you dear for understanding.. Thanks..

 

[Capt Nemo]

Thank you dear for understanding.. Thanks..

tupo pamoja dearest