12 Ways To Ruin Sex

the finest said:
halafu nimesahau moja, you withdraw entirely from any form of physical contact until the next time your wife/husband partner is brave enough to initiate it again
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ngoja nirecord hzi ????????????????????
 
Mr.Rocky said:
Usiulize
Usiulize kwa nini Boss huwa anamwambia secretary wake abaki ana kazi za ziada
Usiulize kwa nini boss anampeleka secretary baada ya kumaliza kazi na wakiwa wawili tuu na huwa hawafiki mapema majumbani mwao
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muwe mnafafanua kidogo kuwa sio Boss wa jf lol
 
King'asti said:
The finest, quickies happens a lot at home,tena kukiwa na wageni sebuleni.life is short dude,lol
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Nakumbuka mshua alikuwa anapenda kula lunch home sasa nikajiuliza why was he driving all the way from the office mchana kuja hadi nyumbani kula lunch kwanini asile huko huko kazini.....lol!!!
 
The Finest said:
Our sexuality is affected so easily by self-esteem, emotional insecurities, pressures, criticisms, and expectations. So to effectively ruin sex for your spouse, follow these steps:

1. Expect sex simply because you're married.

2. Have sex the same time and place every week - This way neither of you will have to wonder when or how sex will occur. "Saturday night – 9:30 p.m. in the bed." Just like clock work – who really wants spontaneity and chance when it comes to their sex life?

3. Follow the routine each time - Be sure to follow the same steps and plays each time. It's way too much work to come up with different things to do together. And after all, variety and spice aren't necessary for sex, right?

4. Only touch your wife/spouse with the goal of sex in mind - Who really needs non-sexual touch? Save the hugs, kisses, holding hands crap for the build up to the deed. That way your partner will clearly know that sex and touch go hand in hand. No chance for missed signals or misunderstandings. How great would that be?

5. Skip the foreplay and go straight for the gusto.

6. Keep your clothes on during sex.

7. Criticize your wife/spouse sexual performance.

8. Criticize their physical appearance - I think it's called tough love. How else is your spouse supposed to know the areas they need to improve? If they are going to keep up with your abilities in bed they need to know where they suck (oh wait, encouraging them where and what to focus on would improve things, so disregard this point.

9. Have sex with the TV on - Enjoying sex while watching Ze Comedy....mhhh i dont think so

10. Answer the phone during sex.

11. Get sex over with as fast as possible – as long as you're satisfied - Sex is really all about you. No need to ask your partner if there's anything you could do for them. Assume everything is fine unless they say something.

12. Get away as fast as possible once you're finished - The sooner you're done, the sooner you'll be able to get some sleep. Save the talking till tomorrow at breakfast. And no need to cuddle or touch each other, refer back to rule 5.
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Pamoja na umaimuna wangu dikshenari imenisaidia.Sasa Bw TF naomba nitoe angalizo lifuatalo kipengele kwa kipengele,in numerical order jinsi ulivyo present wewe:
Kuhusu namba:
1.Huyo mwanamke anategemea nini? alikuja kwangu kufanya nini?,kucheza makida?its her duty meeeeeeen!
2.Mimi ni mlinzi makao makuu ya jf,mke wangu mwalimu,nikiingia asubuhi ndo anatoka,inakuwaje? malavidavi yatafanyika daily asubuhi kabla hajaondoka.
3.Ole wako ubadili staili ya midundo,utanieleza nani kakufundisha,ebo!
4.Haya ya kushikana shikana bila mpango maalum ndo nini sasa,kushikana maana yake manU vs Man siti mpira uko uwanjani,kushikana hiyo ni preeee ngoma ianze,vinginevyo mama akae jikoni apike.
5.Nshawambieni humu ndani haya mambo ya nyamnyam ni ya dot.com,mimi na mama Kayai kazi ni moja,ndo nini kulambana,tumekuwa ice cream?
6.Zipu ikinasa nifanye nini?Vibamia vyenyewe mpaka viimbiwe simama dede ndo vitafute kaskazini ni wapi,uhangaike na zipu stimu ikiisha je?
7.Wanawake ndo zao kutuponda,we huwajui? Halafu sio lazima aseme hata kwa kukuangalia tu au kupumua ki namna (a sigh),utajua tu.
8.Jamani minyama ikimvimbia hata pa kushika nisipaone nisiseme,kha!
9.Kasheshe yake uko gesti,kondom umesahau,katikati ya mahanjam cloooooooouds tv wanaweka tangazo la TACAIDS!
10.Kibaya zaidi ndo uko Namnani,katikati ya malavidavi simu nkreee kucheki jina la mpigaji,mama Kayai!du kanonino kanasinyaa.
11.Mkuu saa ingine inabidi iwe bora liende umalize uondoke zako,maana wanawake wengine duuuuu!!!
12. Kwa wale wanaowarukia mahausgeli akimaliza afanye nini sana,si anachurupuka chapchap,au? we TF wewe unataka abambwe?
Hivi jamani Aspirin yupo?
 
Bishanga said:
Pamoja na umaimuna wangu dikshenari imenisaidia.Sasa Bw TF naomba nitoe angalizo lifuatalo kipengele kwa kipengele,in numerical order jinsi ulivyo present wewe:
Kuhusu namba:
1.Huyo mwanamke anategemea nini? alikuja kwangu kufanya nini?,kucheza makida?its her duty meeeeeeen!
2.Mimi ni mlinzi makao makuu ya jf,mke wangu mwalimu,nikiingia asubuhi ndo anatoka,inakuwaje? malavidavi yatafanyika daily asubuhi kabla hajaondoka.
3.Ole wako ubadili staili ya midundo,utanieleza nani kakufundisha,ebo!
4.Haya ya kushikana shikana bila mpango maalum ndo nini sasa,kushikana maana yake manU vs Man siti mpira uko uwanjani,kushikana hiyo ni preeee ngoma ianze,vinginevyo mama akae jikoni apike.
5.Nshawambieni humu ndani haya mambo ya nyamnyam ni ya dot.com,mimi na mama Kayai kazi ni moja,ndo nini kulambana,tumekuwa ice cream?
6.Zipu ikinasa nifanye nini?Vibamia vyenyewe mpaka viimbiwe simama dede ndo vitafute kaskazini ni wapi,uhangaike na zipu stimu ikiisha je?
7.Wanawake ndo zao kutuponda,we huwajui? Halafu sio lazima aseme hata kwa kukuangalia tu au kupumua ki namna (a sigh),utajua tu.
8.Jamani minyama ikimvimbia hata pa kushika nisipaone nisiseme,kha!
9.Kasheshe yake uko gesti,kondom umesahau,katikati ya mahanjam cloooooooouds tv wanaweka tangazo la TACAIDS!
10.Kibaya zaidi ndo uko Namnani,katikati ya malavidavi simu nkreee kucheki jina la mpigaji,mama Kayai!du kanonino kanasinyaa.
11.Mkuu saa ingine inabidi iwe bora liende umalize uondoke zako,maana wanawake wengine duuuuu!!!
Hivi jamani Aspirin yupo?
12. Kwa wale wanaowarukia mahausgeli akimaliza afanye nini sana,si anachurupuka chapchap,au? we TF wewe unataka abambwe?
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Dah.....Bishanga nimecheka kweli kweli
 
Bishanga said:
Pamoja na umaimuna wangu dikshenari imenisaidia.Sasa Bw TF naomba nitoe angalizo lifuatalo kipengele kwa kipengele,in numerical order jinsi ulivyo present wewe:
Kuhusu namba:
1.Huyo mwanamke anategemea nini? alikuja kwangu kufanya nini?,kucheza makida?its her duty meeeeeeen!
2.Mimi ni mlinzi makao makuu ya jf,mke wangu mwalimu,nikiingia asubuhi ndo anatoka,inakuwaje? malavidavi yatafanyika daily asubuhi kabla hajaondoka.
3.Ole wako ubadili staili ya midundo,utanieleza nani kakufundisha,ebo!
4.Haya ya kushikana shikana bila mpango maalum ndo nini sasa,kushikana maana yake manU vs Man siti mpira uko uwanjani,kushikana hiyo ni preeee ngoma ianze,vinginevyo mama akae jikoni apike.
5.Nshawambieni humu ndani haya mambo ya nyamnyam ni ya dot.com,mimi na mama Kayai kazi ni moja,ndo nini kulambana,tumekuwa ice cream?
6.Zipu ikinasa nifanye nini?Vibamia vyenyewe mpaka viimbiwe simama dede ndo vitafute kaskazini ni wapi,uhangaike na zipu stimu ikiisha je?
7.Wanawake ndo zao kutuponda,we huwajui? Halafu sio lazima aseme hata kwa kukuangalia tu au kupumua ki namna (a sigh),utajua tu.
8.Jamani minyama ikimvimbia hata pa kushika nisipaone nisiseme,kha!
9.Kasheshe yake uko gesti,kondom umesahau,katikati ya mahanjam cloooooooouds tv wanaweka tangazo la TACAIDS!
10.Kibaya zaidi ndo uko Namnani,katikati ya malavidavi simu nkreee kucheki jina la mpigaji,mama Kayai!du kanonino kanasinyaa.
11.Mkuu saa ingine inabidi iwe bora liende umalize uondoke zako,maana wanawake wengine duuuuu!!!
12. Kwa wale wanaowarukia mahausgeli akimaliza afanye nini sana,si anachurupuka chapchap,au? we TF wewe unataka abambwe?
Hivi jamani Aspirin yupo?
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hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa umenipa kicheko ya mwaka loh!
 
Za kidot com utaskia 'can we have a late lunch babe, say 3 or 4 pm?'. Ujue tu lunch ikiisha unakimbizwa mbio. Afu una tabia mbaya,stop imagining ur parents,its a tabboo,lol
The Finest said:
Nakumbuka mshua alikuwa anapenda kula lunch home sasa nikajiuliza why was he driving all the way from the office mchana kuja hadi nyumbani kula lunch kwanini asile huko huko kazini.....lol!!!
Click to expand...
 
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