Our sexuality is affected so easily by self-esteem, emotional insecurities, pressures, criticisms, and expectations. So to effectively ruin sex for your spouse, follow these steps: 1. Expect sex simply because you're married. 2. Have sex the same time and place every week - This way neither of you will have to wonder when or how sex will occur. "Saturday night – 9:30 p.m. in the bed." Just like clock work – who really wants spontaneity and chance when it comes to their sex life? 3. Follow the routine each time - Be sure to follow the same steps and plays each time. It's way too much work to come up with different things to do together. And after all, variety and spice aren't necessary for sex, right? 4. Only touch your wife/spouse with the goal of sex in mind - Who really needs non-sexual touch? Save the hugs, kisses, holding hands crap for the build up to the deed. That way your partner will clearly know that sex and touch go hand in hand. No chance for missed signals or misunderstandings. How great would that be? 5. Skip the foreplay and go straight for the gusto. 6. Keep your clothes on during sex. 7. Criticize your wife/spouse sexual performance. 8. Criticize their physical appearance - I think it's called tough love. How else is your spouse supposed to know the areas they need to improve? If they are going to keep up with your abilities in bed they need to know where they suck (oh wait, encouraging them where and what to focus on would improve things, so disregard this point. 9. Have sex with the TV on - Enjoying sex while watching Ze Comedy....mhhh i dont think so 10. Answer the phone during sex. 11. Get sex over with as fast as possible – as long as you're satisfied - Sex is really all about you. No need to ask your partner if there's anything you could do for them. Assume everything is fine unless they say something. 12. Get away as fast as possible once you're finished - The sooner you're done, the sooner you'll be able to get some sleep. Save the talking till tomorrow at breakfast. And no need to cuddle or touch each other, refer back to rule 5.