Vituko mitandaoni. Tupia chako

[Mawardat]

Ona Hawa wajinga yaani 3700 ndo.mkwara wote huu
Tigo nivushe wananidai 450,000 na wametulia kimya.
Mkopo wenyewe haupandi kila siku 3500View attachment 2342644

Voda wanavitisho vya mbwa koko

 

[Mawardat]

View attachment 2342695

Huyu ni msukuma

 

[antimatter]

View attachment 2342620

Duh..
Ni wa chuo kweli?

 

[antimatter]

View attachment 2342694

Duh!
Anadanganya Kwa tarakimu wakati hisabati hajui!!!

 

[antimatter]

View attachment 2342377

Dooh🙄
Rangi yoyote ya asili ni nzuri zaidi.. Sijui nani kaaminisha baadhi ya manzi kuwa weupe ndo uzuri!!!

 

[mzabzab]

Nimecheka balaa

Kumbe kuna group la.......View attachment 2342567

Ngoja tukabvamie tukale mbususu

 

[mzabzab]

View attachment 2342609

Inawahusu warembo wa jf hii wakina Kelsea mawardat sophy27

 

[antimatter]

Bibi​

Bibi kapigwa mtama na Kibaka na kuporwa simu,
Kainuka na kuanza kumkimbiza kibaka,
Kibaka kuona Bibi hachoki, akatupa simu,
Bibi kaikota na kuendelea kumkimbiza kibaka,

Kibaka: “Bibi kama ni simu yako si tayari umechukua”,
Bibi: “Bado Mtama”

bibi ujinga hapendagi🙄

 

[mzabzab]

Lubricant

Mtu anafumuliwa marinda😍😍😍😍

 

[Chukwu emeka]

Kila mtu na chaguo lake

 

[antimatter]

Mtihani​

Upo kwenye chumba cha mtihani,
Unakutana na swali gumu,
Unaamua kuchukua smartphone ugoogle kisha ucopy na kupaste kwenye booklet yako,

Ghagfla lecturer anaingia na wewe kwa ku panic unaficha calculator na kuweka smartphone mezani,
Hapo ndo utajua kwa nini mtoto wa nyoka hafundishwi kuuma🙄

 

[Armstrong Nic]

Hahahahaha

Hahahahaha 😀 😀 😀

 

[Armstrong Nic]

Kila mtu na chaguo lake
View attachment 2342935

Hatari hii 🤕

 

[antimatter]

Jamaa na binamu yake​

Jamaa alikuwa na tabia ya kunyandua binamu yake….

Alikuwa anasubiri mjomba na mkewe walale tu halafu ananyata mdogo mdogo mpaka chumbani kwa binamu yake.
Siku moja umeme ulikuwa umekatika ikabidi aamue kuvua nguo kabisa chumbani kwake….

Akanyata taratiiibu, akafungua mlango akazama chumbani kwa mjomba ake bila kujua, ghafla umeme ukarudi…

MJOMBA; Ebooo.. wee mshenzi umefata nini chumbani kwangu, tena uko uchi?!!!
JAMAA; nimekuja kukuaga kesho naondoka
MJOMBA; ndo uje uchi?
JAMAA; ndio kwa sababu nimeshapaki kila kitu kwenye begi

 

[Lamzettttt]

...

 

[mwakyindi]

Kila mtu na chaguo lake
View attachment 2342935

ilo chaguo la pesa

 

[antimatter]

Kizungu buana!!!​

Mtalii: Do you have vegetables here?
Mtafsiri: Mnavyo vijimeza hapa?
Waiter: Vijimeza vidogo hatuna.
Mtafsiri: No sir, they don’t have.
Mtalii: OK, fine, do you have hot dogs?
Mtafsiri: Sawa, je mnao mbwa wa moto?
Waiter: Loh! Bwana wee, hatupiki mbwa hapa.
Mtafsiri: No, they don’t cook hot dogs here
Mtalii: What type of snacks do you have here?
Mtafsiri: Aina gani ya nyoka mnao hapa?
Waiter: Eee bwana wee, hapa hatupiki aina yeyote
ya nyoka, mwache akale nyumbani kwao huko..
Mtafsiri: They don’t cook any type of snacks
here,
maybe you can go back home and eat.
Mtalii: OK, any cocktail juice available?
Mtafsiri: OK, basi walau hata juisi ya mkia wa jogoo?
Waiter: Hebu toeni bangi zenu hapa bhana, tena
sasa hivi kabla sijachukua panga, eboo!!!
Mtafsiri: Lets get out of here sir..

 

[antimatter]

Ndoto noma​

Ujinga wa ndoto ndiyo huu..
√ Utaota umeokota dolla, ukiamka empty…
√ Utaota umeokota dhahabu, ukiamka kitandani patupu..
Thubutu KUOTA Sasa UNAKOJOA..😁

 

[antimatter]

Mazungumzo ya msichana na mvulana..​

Demu: Honey.. mambo jamani?!
Man: Safi nipe habari wangu wa moyo
Demu: Wafanya kazi gani vile wangu?
Man: Ni fundi wa kufunga ATM
Demu: Waaoow.. dont tell me, i love you sooo much my, mwa mwa mwaaaaah..😘😘😘

Man: Mbona wafurahia?
Demu: Nami natamani kuja kufanya kazi za kibenki.
Man: Itakua poa sana nami natamani pia
Demu: Heee.. si umesema wafanya kazi ya kufunga ATM?
Man: Hukunielewa, mie nafunga mashine za kununulia condom kwenye bar😁
Demu: aagh.. nipishe hukoooo, tena futa nambaangu saivi, eboo 🙄

 

[antimatter]

Mke wa mtu sumu, mume wa mtu maziwa😁