The Social Climber!
Hr akaanza kumwambia tumekuita for a finance intern position bu there is an opening in sales department, opening in Marketing department, for a full time job, apply one of those. You never know. Akampigia simu mdada mwingine, akawa kaja pale, kufika mabobish mengiii!
Shogaaaaaaa, hio kichwani si brazillian lace wig? Hr anamwambia umeijuaa eeeh, Laki tano na nusuuu. Mdada yupo nikomesheeeee. Naona na chini hills hio si chini ya laki na nusuuuu! Hr, anajimimina, Dada kubwa yupo yaani acha kabisaaa hii zawadi from Dady! Si unajua tenaaa, nimemuweka mkononi hachezi wala hatikisikii, niksea suuu, anatoaaa! Oraaaaaaaaaa! Hr anakubali kwa kutikisa kichwaaaa.
Vipi gari imewasili? Anamwambia tayariiiii shoga hujaniona kwenye parking siku 2, 3 hizi? Hr anamwambia sijakuona shogaaa, siku 2, hizi gari iko garage, nimalizeee gari gani? Altezaaaa? Run X? au IST? Dada kubwa yupo oraaaaaaaaaa, kitu cha Rav 4, milango 5, sibahatishiiii, sicezi ligi za kitoto. HR akastukaaaa! Weeeeeeeeee! Niambia manina zangu? Dada kubwa yupo la Silver, upooo? HR akagunaaaa! Akauliza Dady huyooo? Ama kweli wazee wa bandari kibokooo, umempa nini shoga angu akupe kitu kizuri namna hio Daddy wetu.
Nimempa visivogaiwaaa! Ndo hivooo! HR akastukaaa! Are you thinking what i am thinking? Dada kubwa kamjibu hivo hivo. Mmmmmmh! Akaambiwa Linda embu tupishe kidogo, simama hapo nje nitakuita mdogo wangu, tuna maongezi ya siri. Linda akatoka nje bt akawa anasikiza kipembeni manake alitaka sanaa kujua babu kapewa nini?
Dada kubwa anamwambia wazee wa bandari kibokoooo, Dada flew me to Dubai, Business class emirates, na njaa ya humu nikasema kwani chiu kitu gani, nitamalizana na kibingwaaa. Heeeeeeeeeeee! Kufika kule tumeingi room babu hataki nyama yoyote zaidi ya nyama ya paruuuuu! Jasho lilinitokaaaaaaaaa! Nimembembelezea chiu wapiii anataka Tigo, looooh! Nikagoma ndo akaniambia nitakununulia Rav 4 milango 3, nikamwambia labda 5, mi 3 mnunulie mkeo. Hahahaaaaaaaaa! HR uvumilivu ukamshindaa ikabidi aulize, so ulimpa shoga hio Tigo? Akamwambia ndo maana napaki rav 4 siku hizi shosti bado uko kwenye Vits, ukilegea utakufa hujaonja 4WD. Hahahaaaaaaaa! Akacheka kupunguza makali ya bakora alizomchapa HR. HR akabakia kimyaaa, uvumilivu ukamshindaaa, akaulizaa embu nipe details usniache hewaniii.
Dada la dada akamjibu utasutwa shogaaaa, na mashujaa band, usinione napaki Rav 4 sina Rinda hat mojaaaaa! Yaani gagulooooo! limepigwa pasi, nikisema nipite baharini upepo ukipuliza tigo italia mpooooooo kama vuvzela. Aaaaaaah! Acha kabisaaa haya mabo yasikie kwa jirani yako tu. Mzee anatifuaaaaa, utsema tinga tinga barabarani, yaani sina hamuuuu, Rav 4 nimepata ila cha mtema kuni nimekiona, afu si unajua wazee wa zamani wazee wa jando? Na midawa midawa hogo hili hapaaaaaaa. Acha tu shoga angu. Ninunulie lunch nikupe mkanda kamili. Hahahaaaaaaaaaa! HR akabakia kachoka si kidogo.
Wakamuita Linda, hawajui kama kasikia akamtambulisha huyu ni Finance officer hapa, anaitwa Dada Asha, mtakuwa nae kule juu. Da Asha yupo karibu mdogo wangu karibu sanaa, idara yetu ni watu wazuri sanaa, utafurahi. Hr yupo nimekukabidhi kwa Asha sababu namjua ni mtu mzima, anaejielewa mtaenda vizuri tuuu ukimsikilizaaa. Linda yupo sawa dada. Wakaondoka wote.
Njiani Da Asha anamwambia nisikize vizuriii, tena usikize kwa makini maybe you will avoid the mistakes i have made here, If you work hard enough soon you may be the Director of Finance. Nothing is impossible here. And if you work even harder you may even go and live aboroad and never need to work ever in your life, just spend the rest of your life in country clubs sipping shampaignes. Like her! Akamuonesha simu yake, Insta kuna mdada mbongo kaolewa na mzungu wapo nje hukooo, na vitoto vyao shombe shombe. Da Asha anaendelea, can you believ she was just a secretary, without class, no school, no brains, just a lucky bi.tch. Isnt it inspiring! Linda akawa anajibu impressive indeed.
Wakawa wamefika, kaoneshwa pool ya kushare na wenzie kidesk chake, akamwambia tumefika mrembo, Dada Asha akaingia kwenye bonge la ofisi.
Mwenzie akamuwahi Hi! Akajiu Hi! Akamwambia karibu dear, umbea ukambana, akauliza ile ndo ofisi ya Da Asha? Akajibiwa ndioo, jibuji akaendelea kujimimina maskini Dada Asha Mungu amsimamie apate ACCA mwaka huu, kila mwaka anafeli masikini. Ameshindwa kupanda sababu ACCA hana kuwa Assistant Finance Manager, ila anajua kaziii, na ni mchapa kaziii sanaaa. No wonder she gets to get the big office.
Akawa hana kazi, anashangaaa. Kikaja kidada, dada mgeni hujambo? Akasema Sijamboo! Ngoja nikuoneshe jinsi ya kupost hizi vouchers, ndo unajifunza kaziii. Akawa kamuonesha na kumwambia haya fanyaaaaa. Akaanza kufanya. Yule dada alieleta hio kazi akawa anachat na simu yake. Moyoni akaja katapeliwa bt ndo ugeniii atafanyaje.
Mara akaingia mbaba wa makamooo, watu wote wako, Goodafternoon Boss, good after noon, nae akatiamo good afternoon, akamwambia new girl huh! Akakaa kimya. Akaingia kwa Asha, mwenzie akamwambia Chief of Finance huyooo, if you go along with him, you can move here faster than a blink of an eye. Akatoka kwa Asha, na kusema new girl come with to my office.
Njiani wakamkuta mkaka mdogo mdogo kiasi late 20s hivi, akamsalimia Chieff na kumuuliza who is this? Chieff akamjibu new girl! Basi yule kaka anachonga You always get the new girls in here, akamgeukia Linda juu mpaka chini anamkagua akamuuliza arent you interested to some marketing? I can make that happen, anamtabasamia. Chieff akamsogeza pembeni, basi mkaka anamwambia Chief, she is a little too young for you chief! Exactly my type! Chief akamwambia in your dreams. Akarudi kwa Linda akamtambulisha, Chriss head of marketing! Akampa mkono akamtkenya! Akajikaza kike. Wakaendelea na chief safari.
Chief anasema njiani i should have studied marketing, you get rich young, and you get to do nothing all day, just have some few ideas, that it, enjoy lunch, and dinners with agencies. What a life. That boy aint even 30 and he has made it to Head of Marketing, just couple of ideas kid, couple of ideas. Too bad the path you chose is a long one. I pity the years you will posting entiries, counting cash and reconciling. Waste of time and beauty. Welcome to the financial sector.
Wakawa wameingia ofisni, hapo adabu zote. Chieff akamuuliza tu, do you think you can accompany me to bankers night? They will be mad at you, that it is your first day and you get to accompany chief but honestly i am tired of them kissing my a.ss all day every day. I would like to spend 4 hrs with somebody i dont know and they dont know me!
Mmmmhhhh! Akagunaaa, akatafakari, akimkatalia chief, ndo wataanza on the wrong foot, akimkubali itakuwajeee.
ITAENDELEA KESHO