Mimi sio mgeni hapa jf ila nimeamua kuja na ID nyingine coz mhusika wa story hii anajua id yangu nyingine. Mimi ni m/ke, lonely heart , ila sasa nimepata mtu hapahapa jf. Kwa muda nimekuwa nikitamani sana kuwa mwenzi seriously, sio mtu wa kula nae ujana tu, kupotezeana muda, no seriously kuanzisha familia, dad, mom, ndani ya ndoa iliyobarikiwa kabisa, inapendeza sana jamani, asikudanganye mtu. Mara nyingi nikiona couples na watoto wao nafurahi ila roho inauma pia coz na mimi natamani kuwa na wangu. Kusoma nimesoma weee, kazi nimefanya weeee sasa ni wakati wa kuwa na familia but nothing happens , sasa nifanyeje coz kwa m/ke ni ngumu kumwambia m/mme nakupenda au nioe hata kama unampenda. Maisha yangu mie ni monotonous kazi - home - kazi - church- kazi - safari ya kikazi and all that, no social life at all, niko mbali sana na home and jinsi nilivyolelewa sikufundishwa kwenda kwenda kwa watu hovyo hovyo yani umetoka kazini hodi jirani blah blah, hodi hapa yidi yada yidi, no, nilivyolelewa mimi routine ilikuwa home - shule - home - church/ mafundisho etc. Hakuna kucheza nje, so sijajifunza ku socialize na watu, ukiniweka kwenye group la watu drinking whatever they drink and talk loudly, I wouldn't know what to say, sana sana nitakuwa very bored or I would be very very boring coz nitakuwa mkimya sana then ntaanza kuwaghasi friends it's getting late, tuondoke, tuondoke, so my solution is stay at home, only that my home is empty, hata house girl halali hapo.
So accidentally and out of complete boredom nika join jf, siku hiyo nakumbuka nilikuwa nasubiri updates za matokeo ya uchaguzi wa 2010 and all the tv stations hazikuwa zinaniridhisha na matokeo waliyokuwa wakitoa, umeme nao ulikuwa hovyo sana, nika google matokeo ya uchaguzi and eventually I was led to jf. Mwanzo nilikuwaga nasoma habari za siasa tu then one day kuna tangazo la mtu kutafuta mke likanivutia, nikaanza mawasiliano nae.... daaaaahh, majanga....... ile tunakutana for the first time akatangaza kupeleka posa home.... desperation ya kuolewa kwa mtoto wa kike mbaya jamani, nikaona mwanaume sii ndio huyu bana !! sijawahi mimi kuambiwa na mtu anataka kunioa, wale mama wadogo wanaochonga kwetu hatuolewi tuna mikosi watanikomaje? nikajibu poa ila subiri kidogo, miezi mitatu ikapita kakumbusha tena, jamaa alikuwa ana 44 years huko, ana haraka vibaya mno nikamruhusu,,, siku hiyo ya kupeleka barua, I was on safari ya kikazi so wakati barua inapelekwa sikuwa home ila nilipanga ndugu kuwapokea nao wakasema kwa kuwa ni first time na ni barua tu sio lazima niwepo,... kazi muhimu pia, niko safarini hakuna mawasiliano ya simu, I informed the guy kwamba kuna wakati nitakuwa sipatikani siku hiyo. Kumbe huku home zikatokea changes za mtu atakayewapokea, ilikuwa aende sister wangu akapata dharura so my shem, mme wa sister mkubwa ndio akawapokea wageni na kuwapeleka home, sister wangu akamtaarifu jamaa juu ya mabadiliko hayo, kumbe aka mind sana, siku hiyo ndio nilijua maana ya gubu la kiume, ndege inatua tu sms kama 10 au zaidi zinatiririka , we vipi, hukuwapanga watu wako, mbona dharau mapema blah blah blah. Niakamuuliza sis vip? Kumetokea nini kwani, akanielezea, nikachoka. Kufupisha story, vituko vyake vilikuwa vingi mno, kuna siku nipo kwenye kikao office hadi saa 2 usiku, akapiga, simu iko kwenye silence so ilikuwa inaita tu, nilipotoka tu kapiga tena, matusi hayo, I was stunned coz sikujua hata chanzo cha ugomvi, kumbe sister wake alitaka kuongea na mimi wakati nipo kikaoni, nikamwambia I was in a meeting na nisingeweza kupokea simu, aliendelea kufoka. Two days later, kapiga saa za kazi tena, simu iko kwenye silence mode tena, nilikuwa na kikao kingine, nilipotoka nikaona missed calls kibao nikampigia, nilifokewa kama mtoto, kwanini hupokei simu unajua nachotaka kukwambia? Hapa niko kwenye basi nasafiri, unajua kwanini, blah blah blah, kwa ugomvi na shari kubwa, nafikiri basi zima attention ilikuwa kwake. Gubu baya, baadae nikaja jua kumbe jamaa ana watoto 6, mama tofauti, kawahi fungwa jela tena kwa makosa ya ugaidi, hana nyumba, anakaa kwa mama yake , kapewa chumba kimoja, halafu mbaya zaidi ni marioooooo, daaah, mind you kanizidi sana umri (ingawa to me mambo ya age sio issue kubwa sana) ana experience sana za hard life na kumbe shule hamna kabisa,form 4 alipata 0, katika mahusiano ya mwanamke na mwanaume level za elimu zikitofautiana basi iwe ni m/mme ndio kamzidi m/mke na sio otherwise, vinginevyo ni ngumu sana aisee, niliyoyapitia, japo kwa muda mfupi sitayasahau na yameniachia life time scars.
Baada ya kupeleka barua home jamaa akajihamishia kwangu, akakaa kama mwezi, hakutaka ndugu wala rafiki zake wajue yuko wapi, kutwa hatoki ndani, yeye ni ku watch matamthiliya the whole day - sijui indian love story, sijui nini, I really do hate those soaps, mara vipindi vyote vya rusha roho, akitaka kunywa nimpe pesa, akienda nayo hata chenji hairudi, anakuja na story nimewanunulia jamaa pombe wameshangaa sana, wamekuwa rafiki zangu sana, akirudi anapepesuka, mlevi hafai, mimi nilikuwa napigwa na butwaa , what kind of man is this? tutawezana kweli? ila nikikumbuka maneno ya watu wanao assume kwamba nachagua sana wanaume that's why siolewi nauchuna tu, najipa moyo haya ni ya kawaida tu, kesho yake akisema nikopeshe pesa niwatumie watoto za matumizi, the next day pesa ya dawa zake za asthma, nampa tu. Kila siku alikuwa anatafuta sababu ya kunidai pesa, nikisema kudai elewa kudai sio kuomba, ana demand kwa authority na command as if ananidai alizowahi nipa nyuma. Nikienda job huku nyuma anapekua nyumba nzima, vyumba vyote, nikirudi utadhani nyumba ilipigwa bomu. Siku moja akakutana na birthday/valentine cards za mtu wangu wa kale, enzi za chuo, wacha aanzishe ugomvi, when i told him that huyo ni mtu wa zamani sana hata sijui alipo sasa hata feelings ziliisha, long long before I even met you, daah ulikuwa mtiti kama ndio kwanza kafumania. Lugha mbovu, matusi mabaya mno, masikio yangu hayajazoea...
Nikaona isiwe tabu, nikamwambia nasafiri and I usually lock up the house when I travel, utafanyaje, akasema kesho kaninunulie ticket nirudi home, nikafanya hivyo. They guy was really possessive and clingy daah bora life time singleness kuliko kuwa jela na mtu kama yule, zikaanza simu na texts zisizoisha all the time, work hours, very late nights nisipopokea au kujibu text maneno mengi mno tena makali mno. Mara afungue fake accounts kwenye facebook na humu jf kunitongoza, testing kama nawasiliana na watu wengine, very childish, na mara zote nimemkamata, mwisho nikawa sipokei simu wala kujibu texts zake deliberately ili achoke na aachane na mimi lakini wapi, daah , madai ya pesa yaliendelea kama kawaida, mara naumwa, nahitaji dawa dose yake ni elfu 40 kwa wiki lo! Mwisho nikavuta nguvu na kumwambia Sir it is over between us, siwezi tena hii mikiki mikiki, sina amani, raha, wala mapenzi, and the relationship was not user friendly to my pocket, I thought ningejifunza kupenda lakini those feelings can never be forced, mziki wake haukuwa mdogo....., mengi sana yametokea hapo kati......... hadi ameandika barua ya kunidhalilisha home, hawakuwa wanajua kama alikujaga kuishi kwangu kwa mwezi mzima so he divulged that secret, ila poa tu sasa nashukuru yameisha, na uzuri niliwaambia home mambo ya posa,mahari msahau, hanisumbui tena kwasasa and I have changed my address. Wadada kuweni makini sana humu, by the way jamaa bado yumo anatafuta mke humuhumu na kumbe amekuwa humu toka akiwa sijui 37 au 38 na sasa ni 46. Ana IDs nyingi tu, nazofahamu hadi sasa ni 4. Kuna wakati hata aliwahi sema anatatufa Shemale humuhumu, so be very careful.
Now nimepata mwingine, humu humu tena, sijakoma tu coz I still need to find a life partner, this one tumedumu nae kwa muda sasa, amenizidi sana elimu na akili and I really really like him, ila kuna kitu kuhusu yeye na jf kimenipa mashaka kidogo. Sijui hajamaliza ujana au wasiwasi wangu tu? Nimegundua nae ana IDs tofauti alizotumia kutafuta mke/mchumba na hilo/hayo ma/tangazo ya/lake bado ya/liko active kwenye IDs zake ninazozijua. Kwa IDs zake tofauti anaanzisha thread, anaji like, anachangia discussion kwa IDs nyingine hizo, ila ukisoma hizo post nyingine unakuta wengi wanaochangia wana writing style kama yake na mawazo kama yake, hii ndio ilinipa mashaka nikajiuliza are these people friends au ni mtu mmoja, kwanini iwe hivi, shaka ikanifanya ni trace zile IDs nyingine, nimezoea anavyoandika na issues anazopenda ku discuss kupitia texts, chats kati yetu etc ukimzoea mtu ni rahisi sana sana kuelewa vitu kama hivyo, hata tone yake unaizoea. Hadi sasa nimegundua ana IDs 7 na tangazo lake la kutafuta mchumba ni identical katika IDs zote, inawezekana ziko nyingi zaidi. Najiuliza is he wasting my time tu au vipi, ila hii ndio kete yangu ya mwisho, sina tena energy ya kuanzisha mahusiano then get dissapointed again....
