Saudi Journalist: Why Is Polygamy Only for Men?
On December 11, 2009, Saudi journalist Nadine Al-Budair, a presenter on the Arabic-language American TV channel Al-Hurra, published a satirical article titled "Me and My Four Husbands" in the independent Egyptian daily Al-Masri Al-Yawm. In it, she wondered why, if a Muslim man could take up to four wives, a Muslim woman could not take four husbands so as to end the discrimination between men and women in this domain.
Following is an excerpt from the article:
Al-Budair: I Too Have the Right to Take Four Husbands
"[Please] allow me to marry four [husbands], or even five or nine, if possible. Let me emulate you [men], and choose them according to the wildest [whims] of my imagination. I will choose [husbands] of various shapes and sizes: one red-headed and one dark, one tall and one short. I will choose [husbands] of various sects, religions, nationalities, and ethnicities, and I promise you to [maintain] perfect harmony between them all. They will never quarrel, because [after all], they have a wife in common.
"Write me a civil law, or [re-]interpret some religious law [by] adding to it a new clause, [like they do in] those religious rulings [that are motivated] by a sudden impulse... [and are issued] without any prior warning. Just as you unjustifiably subject me to [various types of marriage] [such as] mut'a, 'urf, misyaf, misyar and friend marriages and other twisted [inventions] allow me to marry four [men].
"The last time I demanded my right to be permitted several husbands... the women condemned it even before the men did... The basis for my demand was my insistence on monogamy and my determination to challenge the men by demanding the right to feel what they feel... when they take four wives. Don't the men glorify this [right of theirs], don't they anticipate it openly and in secret? Whenever [the issue] of the men's monopoly on [polygamy] comes up for debate, nobody can give me a convincing [reason] why I may not take four husbands [as well]...
"Many say that polygamy is the solution [to the problem] of men becoming bored and fed up with their wives, [and a way to deal] with [these] feelings of theirs. However, polygamy is a violation of the CEDAW Convention.[Besides,] what about the feelings of the woman? Either permit polygamy to both [men and women], or else re-map [the custom of] marriage so as to solve this problem of boredom, which is the men's permanent excuse. Until [one of these things happens], I will continue to ask: What solution [do I have] if I become bored with my husband's body or [start to] feel that he is [like] a brother to me?"
On December 11, 2009, Saudi journalist Nadine Al-Budair, a presenter on the Arabic-language American TV channel Al-Hurra, published a satirical article titled "Me and My Four Husbands" in the independent Egyptian daily Al-Masri Al-Yawm. In it, she wondered why, if a Muslim man could take up to four wives, a Muslim woman could not take four husbands so as to end the discrimination between men and women in this domain.
Following is an excerpt from the article:
Al-Budair: I Too Have the Right to Take Four Husbands
"[Please] allow me to marry four [husbands], or even five or nine, if possible. Let me emulate you [men], and choose them according to the wildest [whims] of my imagination. I will choose [husbands] of various shapes and sizes: one red-headed and one dark, one tall and one short. I will choose [husbands] of various sects, religions, nationalities, and ethnicities, and I promise you to [maintain] perfect harmony between them all. They will never quarrel, because [after all], they have a wife in common.
"Write me a civil law, or [re-]interpret some religious law [by] adding to it a new clause, [like they do in] those religious rulings [that are motivated] by a sudden impulse... [and are issued] without any prior warning. Just as you unjustifiably subject me to [various types of marriage] [such as] mut'a, 'urf, misyaf, misyar and friend marriages and other twisted [inventions] allow me to marry four [men].
"The last time I demanded my right to be permitted several husbands... the women condemned it even before the men did... The basis for my demand was my insistence on monogamy and my determination to challenge the men by demanding the right to feel what they feel... when they take four wives. Don't the men glorify this [right of theirs], don't they anticipate it openly and in secret? Whenever [the issue] of the men's monopoly on [polygamy] comes up for debate, nobody can give me a convincing [reason] why I may not take four husbands [as well]...
"Many say that polygamy is the solution [to the problem] of men becoming bored and fed up with their wives, [and a way to deal] with [these] feelings of theirs. However, polygamy is a violation of the CEDAW Convention.[Besides,] what about the feelings of the woman? Either permit polygamy to both [men and women], or else re-map [the custom of] marriage so as to solve this problem of boredom, which is the men's permanent excuse. Until [one of these things happens], I will continue to ask: What solution [do I have] if I become bored with my husband's body or [start to] feel that he is [like] a brother to me?"