Niko Njia Panda.... Ushauri wenu ni muhimu


Da Asia

Da Asia

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Da Asia

Da Asia

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Mimi ni mdada above 40 niliolewa nikaachana na mwenzangu some years ago. Kwa vile nilikua busy kusomesha watoto zangu watatu ambao sasa wameweza kujitegemea, sikutaka kua na uhusiano wa kimapenzi na mtu yoyote maana elimu ya watoto wangu na kuwasimamia was my priority.

The time has now come that I need a companion wa kumalizia nae hii n'ngwe ya maisha niliyobakiza kuliko kua mwenyewe. Watoto pia wameshasambaratika kuhangaika na maisha. Wawili wako nje ya nchi wanafanya masters na mmoja ambaye ndio mkubwa ameshaolewa ana degree ya BSc electronics aliyopata UDSM.

Nimekutana na kaka mmoja above 40 nae japo nimemzidi 3 years, hii hainipi tatizo kwani umri kwangu sio shida, most important kwangu is how we feel for each other. Nae aliwahi kuoa akazaa watoto wanne lakini pia akaachana na mkewe. Mtoto mmoja katika hao wanne alizaa wakati wa ujana na mwanamke mwingine ambaye hawakubahatika kuoana. Aliyemuoa ndio walizaa watoto watatu.
Ni miezi kama 5 – 6 hivi tangu nifahimiane na huyu kaka. Sote ni waajiriwa japo mimi kipato changu kinamzidi mwenzangu. Hili pia si tatizo kwangu, kama nilivyosema mwanzo najali tunavyojisikia tukiwa pamoja.

Tatizo kubwa ni kwamba, huyu bwana amekua kama limbukeni wa mapenzi tangu tufahamiane. Kama ni kupendwa kwa style hii mwenzenu nahisi nashindwa. Amekua king'ang'anizi kupita maelezo na wakati mwingine kulazimisha yasioyowezekana.

Analazimisha anataka kuhamia kwangu na atanioa. Sio tatizo kwangu lakini kwa maisha niliyoishi for years nikiwa mwenyewe sio kitu naweza kuamua in a night. Hataki kuelewa kwa namna yoyote ile. Juzi juzi hapa tulikwaruzana, actually niliamua kuachana nae kabisa! Lakini alinipa vitisho sana, kwamba siwezi kumuacha na hayuko tayari kuniacha hata iweje. Mpaka alitaka kuja kuleta fujo nyumbani baada ya kumwambia sitafungua gate akija.

Naomba mfahamu kwamba huyu anayejifanya ananipenda kupita kiasi, hana msaada hata mmoja katika maisha yangu. Nahangaika na maisha yangu mwenyewe kama nilivyozoea, ninachokula au ninachovaa nakijua mimi. Yeye kutwa ni kujitetea kua kipato chake ni kidogo kuliko cha kwangu japo sioni kama ni kigezo cha kutotoa msaada kama baba mtarajiwa. Sihitaji msaada 100%, hata 20% kwangu nitashukuru maana sijashindwa kuendesha maisha yangu. Ila msaada wake kidogo kwangu will mean so much ili kudumisha uhusiano wetu. Sasa hivi nina wasiwasi maana ananisumbua kupita kiasi kua lazima tuishi pamoja. Siwezi kuamua hili mara moja hasa kutokana na maisha niliyoishi ya muda mrefu nikiwa mwenyewe na pia nina watoto, I have to make them understand, na siwezi kuwafanya waelewe kwa mara moja. Watoto ni wakubwa na wana akili hivyo ni lazima niwapeleke polepole waelewe kua nili sacrifice my love life kwa sababu yao na sasa nahitaji mwenza. Sijui watalielewaje hili maana ni process. Hapa napo mkinishauri jinsi ya kulileta kwa watoto nitashukuru, maana naamini hapa jamvini wapo waliopitia mtihani kama huu.

Kikubwa ambacho ndio mtachoka, mtu huyu mwenye mapenzi mazito kwangu, sijui anaishi wapi..... japo yeye anajua kwangu na watoto wangu wawili anawafahamu. Huyo mmoja anayeishi nje ya nchi alikuja likizo wakaonana alipokuja nyumbani. Wanamjua as Mama's friend, japo nahisi vile ni wakubwa they might have smelt something, japo hainipi shida maana mwisho wa siku its my happiness. Simfahamu mtoto wake hata mmoja maana anasema watoto wake hawawezi ku support yeye kua kwenye mahusiano, sina hakika na hili, sasa sijui akiamua kutelekeza watoto watatu ambao anaishi nao itakuaje, maana mmoja huyo mdogo anaishi na mama yao, nashindwa kupata hesabu inayojumlishika kwa hili. Niko katika harakati za kumalizia nyumba yangu nje ya mji ambayo nahamia soon, ana insist kua tuhamie pamoja, nisiende kuishi mwenyewe maana ni sehemu ya ugenini na nyumba ni kubwa. He's got a point in a way, lakini haiwezi kua rahisi kiasi hiki anavyofikiria yeye. Kwangu mimi bado niko njia panda. Pia hatujawahi kujadili kua anakuja kuishi na mimi kwa namtiki gani na watoto wake atawaacha wapi. Vile ni kitu ambacho sijakiunga mkono 100% hata nguvu ya kuuliza haya sijawa nayo.

Naomba ushauri wenu wapendwa, hivi unaweza kweli kumpenda mtu kwa moyo wako wote, lakini mwenzio asijue unakoishi zaidi ya kazini kwako na usitoe msaada hata mmoja kwake, ilhali ukienda kwake unataka ukarimiwe kwa chakula na mapenzi? Hii mimi hainiingii akilini.

Tulipokwaruzana juzi niligundua nilifanya makosa kumfanya awe free nyumbani kwangu, as he used to come any time. Japo alikua anaingia chumbani kwangu only kama tuko wawili tu ndani ya nyumba, maana nina msichana wa kazi ambaye weekends mara nyingi anaenda kwao kusalimia na binti wa mdogo wangu ambaye namsomesha. Naye pia weekends anaenda kwa mama yake. Baada ya kugundua hilo kosa na mkwaruzano uliokuwepo, nilimwambia kuanzia sasa hatakuja tena nyumbani kwangu. Tutaonana nje ya nyumbani kwangu, in a hotel, for drinks, dinner etc... lakini kwangu sio sasa mpaka niweke mambo sawa na watoto. Hili tunalumbana nalo kwa karibu wiki mbili sasa hataki kunielewa. Anadai yuko more comfortable kama tutaonana nyumbani kwangu. Mimi nahisi anapenda kuja kwangu kwa vile he gets everything for free. Samahani kama nitawakwaza wanaume lakini ndivyo nidhaniavyo, maybe am wrong, mtaniambia. Tangu kumetokea kutoelewana hajaja tena nyumbani maana nimekataa kata kata ila tunaongea kwenye simu na kubishana ndio kwingi zaidi maana hataki kunielewa. Naomba mnijuze kama nina kosa hapa.

Niliamua kumueleza kua, kama yeye ameona haiwezekani mimi kujua kwake na kufahamu watoto wake vile anawaheshimu, kwanini mimi pia hataki ku consider hili? Kama ni makosa nilishayafanya, na nimegundua, sitaki kurudia tena! Hataki kuelewa, maana ameshikilia kwa vile mimi nina kipato namnyanyasa vile hana uwezo wa kulipia hotels, drinks and maybe meals if we decide to sit somewhere kuongea.

Kwa kweli sijui nielezeje maana mimi sio mwandishi mzuri but niko njia panda! Nawagetemea nyinyi mnipe ushauri maana huyu baba si muelewa. Kutwa anajitetea kua mimi namnyanyasa kwa vile hana kipato kizuri kama mimi. Ni mtu wa kulalamika kutwa hana pesa! Kwa kweli nachoka maana hata mimi nina shida zangu na majukumu ya ndugu lakini silalamiki kwa mtu yoyote kuhusu matatizo yangu, sana sana natafuta ufumbuzi mwenyewe. Mwanamme mzima kutwa kulalamika hana pesa kwa mwanamke, mimi sioni kama ni sawa.

Naomba msinihukumu kwa lolote, ninachotaka ni msaada wa ushauri maana nimekamatwa na huyu baba ambaye nashindwa kujua ananitafuta nini kusema kweli na nitamtoka vipi maana hataki kusikia kitu kinaitwa kuachana.

Samahani pia kwa kuwachosha, mimi sio mwandishi mzuri hivyo uandishi wangu ni wa kuzunguka zunguka ila naamini mtanielewa.

 
BADILI TABIA

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Huyo mwanaume inawezekana
1. ana mke
2. Ni yahaya

Inawezekanaje hujui kwake wala wanae?
Akifa ghafla je?

Ndugu hakufai kimbiaaaaa bila kugeuka nyuma
 
gorgeousmimi

gorgeousmimi

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gorgeousmimi

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Huyo mwanaume sio mkweli kwasababu hayupo muwazi...nina wasiwasi ana agenda zake za siri....kama unataka kuwa nae nakushauri uwe makini sana na uchukue muda umchunguze kuhusu yeye na hao watoto wake anaowaongelea kama hata wanaexist.....Mjini hapa dada....najua upo desperate kupata mwenza lakini usifanye papara....taratibu ndio mwendo...
 
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kwanza napenda kukupongeza kwa kufunguka macho mapema!..ila nimecheka sana jamani ..duniani hakuna mtu anapenda shida etiii!!!
nani anapenda kuishi kwa shida! hapo kwako full kiyoyozi soseji na maaple na k juu kwanini asiombe kuhamia?...
da asia achana nae huyo kwanza ana mke ndo maana hataki kukupeleka kwake piga chini.tena shtaki polisi
raha ya mwanaume ni akujali ..kama mwanaume akujali ..hajui unakula au unalala wapi hana mchango wowote kwako ni wa nini huyo?
 
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Huyo mwanaume sio mkweli kwasababu hayupo muwazi...nina wasiwasi ana agenda zake za siri....kama unataka kuwa nae nakushauri uwe makini sana na uchukue muda umchunguze kuhusu yeye na hao watoto wake anaowaongelea kama hata wanaexist.....Mjini hapa dada....najua upo desperate kupata mwenza lakini usifanye papara....taratibu ndio mwendo...
hii ..miss u dearest! umeona mambo ya shemeji hapo ...ahahaaa mjini jamani kuna mambo ..
 
gorgeousmimi

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gorgeousmimi

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hii ..miss u dearest! umeona mambo ya shemeji hapo ...ahahaaa mjini jamani kuna mambo ..
Hello mamii,miss you too....hawa wanaume wengine wanapenda mteremko.....mi mwanaume akijilizaliza namuweka kwenye negative list haraka sana.....
 
Himidini

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Himidini

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^^
Naona unalazimisha wito wa ndoa.
^^
 
Da Asia

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mimi49 am not that desperate, ila mimi ni binadamu pia. nahitaji kampani. Ingekua watoto wangu wapo wala nisingehangaika. Ila kua na mwenzio hata ukiumwa yupo ni jambo jema. hata mungu alimuumba Adam akaona asiishi mwenyewe akampa Eve. Sasa kwanini mimi niwe mwenyewe. But am not that desperate, I can manage on my own.
Asante kwa ushauri mzuri, nitaufanyia kazi. Thanks and be blessed...

Huyo mwanaume sio mkweli kwasababu hayupo muwazi...nina wasiwasi ana agenda zake za siri....kama unataka kuwa nae nakushauri uwe makini sana na uchukue muda umchunguze kuhusu yeye na hao watoto wake anaowaongelea kama hata wanaexist.....Mjini hapa dada....najua upo desperate kupata mwenza lakini usifanye papara....taratibu ndio mwendo...
 
Henge

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Hapo hakuna mwanaume dada huyo ni msanii tu. Kama si msanii mwambie afunguke kwa kila kitu. Asilete mambo ya usanii kwako.
 
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Hello mamii,miss you too....hawa wanaume wengine wanapenda mteremko.....mi mwanaume akijilizaliza namuweka kwenye negative list lol....
huyu jamaa ni mbuzi kweli..k apewe bure ...tena kitandani kwa mdada na msosi apewe maji aoge na nguo afuliwe yaani ukute hata usafiri wa kwenda home anapewa..alivotangaziwa kukatishwa kwa mahusiano akacalculate risk kwanini asiwe chizi? ataloga mtu wallah...damn sijui nipate wapi mfadhili kama da asia...wanawake wenyewe na uzuri wote hatupati wadhamini wa maisha hivo mwee!
 
gorgeousmimi

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gorgeousmimi

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mimi49 am not that desperate, ila mimi ni binadamu pia. nahitaji kampani. Ingekua watoto wangu wapo wala nisingehangaika. Ila kua na mwenzio hata ukiumwa yupo ni jambo jema. hata mungu alimuumba Adam akaona asiishi mwenyewe akampa Eve. Sasa kwanini mimi niwe mwenyewe. But am not that desperate, I can manage on my own.
Asante kwa ushauri mzuri, nitaufanyia kazi. Thanks and be blessed...
Usijali dadaangu naelewa unachokiongelea...kuna wakati mtu anakuwa mpweke na kuhitaji mwenza amini nakuelewa sanaaaa....Ila nakusihi usifanye papara na umuombe mungu...inshallah utapata mume mwema aliye na kheri nawe!!
 
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mimi49 am not that desperate, ila mimi ni binadamu pia. nahitaji kampani. Ingekua watoto wangu wapo wala nisingehangaika. Ila kua na mwenzio hata ukiumwa yupo ni jambo jema. hata mungu alimuumba Adam akaona asiishi mwenyewe akampa Eve. Sasa kwanini mimi niwe mwenyewe. But am not that desperate, I can manage on my own.
Asante kwa ushauri mzuri, nitaufanyia kazi. Thanks and be blessed...
da asia wala usijali wewe una maisha yako na ni haki yako kuwa na mipango yako jinsi upendavo kwa wakati wako.. ukiamua kuolewa ..ukiamua kujenga ukiamua kununua gari zote ni haki zako as long huvunji sheria za nchi! so kwangu mimi sioni ubaya wewe kuamua kuwa na mwenzake sema tu ni bahati mbaya umeingia choo cha shetani ila as long umeshtuka mapema shukuru mungu kwa hilo kimbia hata uchi na nguo mkononi kama yule mwanafunzi wa yesu! hapo ni hatari zaidi ya hatari yenyewe mamiii
 
Preta

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Umemkawiza sana........fukuzia kule mwanaume marioo huyo.........huyo ana mke na watoto anaishi nao vizuri tu........wanaume wengine kwa kupenda bwerere mpaka wanakera.........Stuka maa.......haina haja ya kununua likitimoto lote kwa ajili ya sausage........kuna sausages brand nyingi sana madukani........kila aina wewe tu kuamua utakula ipi......
 
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Umemkawiza sana........fukuzia kule mwanaume marioo huyo.........huyo ana mke na watoto anaishi nao vizuri tu........wanaume wengine kwa kupenda bwerere mpaka wanakera.........Stuka maa.......haina haja ya kununua likitimoto lote kwa ajili ya sausage........kuna sausages brand nyingi sana madukani........kila aina wewe tu kuamua utakula ipi......
shikamoo preta
 
Victoire

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Victoire

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Mwanaume muongo huyo,ana mke na watoto na wala hajadivorce.Achana nae atakuletea majanga ngoja akufie ndo utaujua ukweli wote,tena yupo above 40 na nguvu zimeanza kupungua,chukua tahadhari dada
 
Da Asia

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Da Asia

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Himidini wala silazimishi ndoa, soma uzi wangu vizuri. Ndoa nilishaipata. Nilikaa 8 years kwenye ndoa. Raha na karaha za ndoa nazijua hivyo sina cha kulazimisha mpendwa wangu. All I need is a company lakini si dizaini ya Mariooo (kula kulala) kama wewe...

^^
Naona unalazimisha wito wa ndoa.
^^
 
Jodoki Kalimilo

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Jodoki Kalimilo

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Huyo ni Yahaya au kwa enzi zenu jina lingine ni Kalubandika, mwanaume mwenye nia ya kuoa hawezi kupendelea kwenda kwa mrembo badala ya kumpeleka kwake. Huyo mkatae asije akakumalizia vijisenti vyako vya kumalizia ngwe ya lala salama ambayo ni ngumu mno kama mtu huna maandalizi mazuri na ukabaki na maneno mawili kila unapotaka kuongea "enzi zangu maisha yalikuwa hivi", mkatae yasije kukuta ya watu wanaopenda kusema enzi zangu maana kwa sasa hawana kitu wanabaki na enzi zangu.
 
mwekundu

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mwekundu

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Nasikia harufu ya umarioo na usanii mwanaume jasiri haachi asili!!
 
charminglady

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charminglady

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Dada /mama angu.... Mie ushauri wangu ni mdogo tu!

"Ingawa inauma, ruhusu moyo wako ukubali matokeo" Achana naye huyo baba, why??

1. Hufahamu anakoishi ingawa yuko tayari kukuoa

2. Anakung'ang'ania kwa faida, laiti yeye ndiye angekuwa wewe angeshakuacha kitambo.

3. Hana mpango wa kukuoa bali anafuata anachokitaka "pesa" akipata huyooo anatimua zake.

4. Sio muwazi / mkweli hata kidogo, na pia hana nia ta dhati. Angelikuwa navyo asingesita kukupeleka kwake.

CL
 

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