My Man is a workaholic

[badiebey]

Pamoja na kuwa interested na kazi zake, jaribu kumuiba mara kwa mara. Mfano msapraizi na kidate cha dinner. Mfuate ofcn muambie twende mahali kuna bendi ama dinner, ama hata star gazing. Get a together hobby kama swimming ama gym once a week.

Dinners anapenda huyo,old habits die hard though,will take it slowly

 

[Dejane]

Bora huyo kuliko ashinde kwenye group kuangalia picha za uchiii

 

[KANDIRI]

Achana naye, njoo kwetu makanjanja

 

[badiebey]

My own story

I once was a workaholic....Awali kabla ya kuoa nilikuwa natoka kazini kati ya saa 1:30 mpaka saa 3:00usiku wakati wafanyakazi wenzangu wote saa 11:00jioni huwa wameshaondoka kazini. Kwangu haikuwa shida and I was happy na hasa watu walipokuwa wakiniita "Jembe" kwa kule kujituma Saana kazini

Baada ya kuoa some first few months niliweza kujimudu kuwahi kurudi mapema lakini after some six months nikarejea ada yangu.

Hii ilienda kwa muda mrefu na wakati fulani nilikuwa naonyesha kuchapa kazi na mke ajivune kuwa na mume responsible ambae anachapa kazi na anamudu kuendesha family

Hali hii ilipozidi mke wangu ikamshinda na siku moja akaniambia angependa nimpeleke Korogwe Tanga akamsalibie Bibi Mzaa mama yangu. Japo ilikuwa ngumu kwangu lakini sikuataka kumuangusha nikachukua 2 off days na zilikuwa Alhamisi na Ijumaa na Jumatatu yake ilikuwa sikukuu ya Mwalimu Nyerere (October 2013) hivyo tukawa na muda wa kutosha

Tulitoka Moro tukafikia HighWay Hotel (Dar Express) na jioni hiyo wife akaniambia ni kweli amekuja Korogwe kusalimia lakini kuna jambo la muhimu angependa tuzungumze.

Hapo ndipo alipoonesha hisia zake. Alinisaidia kufahamu namna ambavyo anafurahia kuwa na mume responsible na ambae anatunza family yake vizuri....wanapata kila wanachohitaji

Lakini pia akanisaidia kujua anavyoumia kuniona nikijiumiza saana kwa kufanya kazi kunakozidi. Alinisaidia kujua anavyoumia kihisia kuwa mpweke lakini wasiwasi wake kuwa Binti yetu Mdogo hapati wasaa wa kutosha na baba yake.

Baada ya hay a na mengine mengi ambayo siwezi Sema yote, wife akaniuliza juu ya kazi yangu na mapana yake. Kisha akauliza juu ya wafanyakazi wangu (waliochini yangu kiusimamizi) na wafanyakazi wenzangu (waliojuu yangu kiusimamizi au nilionao level/grade moja) na nani kati yao anaweza nisaidia lipi na lipi (Mke wangu ni mwalimu by profession so hapa kalamu na notebook vilikuwa karibu). Aliniuliza nani namwamini nani simwamini?. Je sio kweli najiumiza kwa kuwa siwaamini watu wanaweza fanya kazi nizifanyazo kwa ubora uleule? Kama wapo niwaaminio basi niwape kazi na kama hakuna niwaaminio basi je hakuna yeyote naweza m-coach akaweza kufanya yale nipaswayo kwa viwango vile vile Kama reports, weekly/monthly plans e.t.c.?

Baada ya yote akanisaidia kushirikisha majukumu na wenzangu (japo nilisoma delegation chuoni lakini sikuikumbuka) na akanisaidia kuweka ratiba na taratibu zangu za kazi ili zisiniumize wala zisiwe sababu Kuwa mbali na family yangu.

Kwa kweli that was a turning point. Maana baada ya yote haya tulikubaliana kuwa nitoke kazini muda wa mwajiri (mkataba) saa 11:00jioni otherwise kuwe na jambo ambalo linahitaji nichelewe kulimaliza (hali ya udharura) lakini pia nijifunze kujinidhamisha katika yote. Kisha tukaomba pamoja.

Toka wakati huo Lazima saa 12 niwe nimeshatoka ofisini isipokuwa katika mazingra machache ya siku zinazohesabika ambazo hujikuta nalazimika chelewa

My Advice
Mara nyingi hutukuta wengi hasa ambao by nature tunapenda kuonekana tunachapa kazi na tuko serious katika ku-deliver even beyond employer's expectetations tukisahau tuna jukumu LA ku-deliver pia expectations za wenza na familia zetu. Cha muhimu kusaidiana na kukumbushana....usimchukulie katika namna itakayomfanya aka-react vibaya...nenda nae slowly na kwa mpango mzuri (sio lazim Kama mbinu aliyotumia mke wangu) then msaidie Kama nilivyosaidiwa

Ahsante

Mkuu nimekusoma mara tatu tatu mana umekua very practical,ahsantee,
will take it slowly mana sitaki kumkosea heshima au akose motivation...
approach ya ur wife nimeipenda

 

[badiebey]

Achana naye, njoo kwetu makanjanja

Hahaha afu ntakula kanjanjaa tu ehh..

 

[kinondoniilala]

Tafuta mchepuko

 

[Cathode Rays]

mkuu nimekusoma mara tatu tatu mana umekua very practical,ahsantee,
will take it slowly mana sitaki kumkosea heshima au akose motivation...
approach ya ur wife nimeipenda

Karibu sana

Najua you women are very intelligent....na kwa maswali yako na nia yako hapa you are very positive katika kumsaidia

I wish the best na ifanikiwe kwako kama ilivyokuwa kwetu

 

[badiebey]

Bora huyo kuliko ashinde kwenye group kuangalia picha za uchiii

kwelii,but kila jambo na wakati.wake pia

 

[badiebey]

Karibu sana

Najua you women are very intelligent....na kwa maswali yako na nia yako hapa you are very positive katika kumsaidia

I wish the best na ifanikiwe kwako kama ilivyokuwa kwetu

Amen,InshAllah naamini itawezekana

 

[Capt Nemo]

Wakati mwingine tunafanya kazi kupita kiasi kwa kuhofia vitu vi-2, maisha in general and you, our wives, in particular. Mmetujengea imani kuwa what matters to you women ni hela, hela and hela...na because we get money out of work then we ain't got no option but to work our heads off!

Kabla ya kuwa deep katika mahusiano I used to enjoy reading novels very much, watching movies, listening to music, seaside walk n.k, kwa bahati 95% ya starehe zangu ni indoor lakini baada ya kuwajua wanawake mlivyo money-minded hivi sasa starehe niliyobaki nayo na ambayo only God cames first ni kuangalia match ya chelsea so stop complaining untill mtakapotupa reasons to believe you shall stick with us hata hela isipotosha katika familia!

You cant eat your cake and have it!

 

[madenge8]

First, find new ways of titivating yourself.

Second, once he notices the differences he will be titillated.

Third, after he's titillated the job of getting him to pick up other interests becomes easier.

Fourth, tell him that he should be working to live and not live to work.

Fifth, adopt the motto 'work hard and play even harder'.

Unapenda sana kuchangia kwa kidhungu,we kwenu UK mkuu?

 

[badiebey]

Wakati mwingine tunafanya kazi kupita kiasi kwa kuhofia vitu vi-2, maisha in general and you, our wives, in particular. Mmetujengea imani kuwa what matters to you women ni hela, hela and hela...na because we get money out of work then we ain't got no option but to work our heads off!

Kabla ya kuwa deep katika mahusiano I used to enjoy reading novels very much, watching movies, listening to music, seaside walk n.k, kwa bahati 95% ya starehe zangu ni indoor lakini baada ya kuwajua wanawake mlivyo money-minded hivi sasa starehe niliyobaki nayo na ambayo only God cames first ni kuangalia match ya chelsea...so stop complaining untill mtakapotupa reasons to believe you shall stick with us hata hela isipotosha katika familia!!!!

You cant eat your cake and have it!

Thanks man,but mind you not all women value money most,some we care more about partnership,ila umesomeka mana nakubali pia money is very important,but getting more of it and keeping ur rlship at stake nayo si vizuri pia,
poleni ila ndo mjue ur missed sana when u overwork urselvz

 

[badiebey]

unapenda sana kuchangia kwa kidhungu,we kwenu UK mkuu??

Na kuna mwingine anaitwa Kiranga

 

[Prisoner 46664]

namuonea huruma pia anavochoka jmn with work in his mind kila saa,

Can he get "it" up when you need him to?:smile-big:..to some of us work is fun, it can get very addictive but one's always got to be on the look out for this impacting family life....

 

[Capt Nemo]

thanks man,but mind you not all women value money most,some we care more about partnership,ila umesomeka mana nakubali pia money is very important,but getting more of it and keeping ur rlship at stake nayo si vizuri pia,
poleni ila ndo mjue ur missed sana when u overwork urselvz

you sound reasonably my lady,

Now lets try this, unajua kitu kinachoitwa "opportunity cost"? its lyk..you forfeit something so as to gain something else...say you are willing to abstain from drinking a beer so that you can buy a movie compact disk with that beer money, so the beer (or lack of it to be exact) is the opportunity cost of that Movie CD

Now my sister, in all honesty can you tell me you are willing to miss some of the essentials you get from spending your husband's money..you are willing to lack them so that you can have more time with your hubby?..if the answer is yes then you husband is one hell of a lucky guy and go ahead and tell him, atakuelewa and you will be happier..both of you.

 

[Prisoner 46664]

Cathode Rays

Hat off to the wife - ana busara.

 

[madenge8]

Cathode Rays

Mkuu mkeo ni wa kizazi hiki cha nyoka-i mean age!?vyovyote.
Hongera kwa kupata mke anaejua wajibu wa kua mke wa mtu!maisha mema

 

[madenge8]

Hivi wanawake wenye huruma kwa waume zao bado mpo?mmmhh kuna wanaume wana bahati lol.

 

[silasc]

AlI men we suppose to do like that.

No, you have to balance, otherwise you will end up being like a machine. Spending your entire life for nothing, while the other part enjoy the moment(life).

 

[kadoda11]

nakumbuka wakati fulani nilipo kuwa nimeajiriwa kwa majirani akina MK254 pale jijini nairobi.nilikuwa nina tabia ya kujifanya workaholic,wenzangu wanatoka saa 11/12 jioni ,wananiachia funguo nami nakomaa mpaka saa 5/6 usiku.nilikuwa sina sababu ya kuwahi maskani kwangu buruburu since familia yangu (wife and kids) ipo tanzania.niwahi nini nyumbani wakati naishi peke yangu katika nchi ya watu,ni kupiga kazi kwa kwenda mbele.

sasa basi,siku moja ilipo fika saa 6 usiku,nikafunga ofisi na kuelekea geti kuu la jengo ili nitoke niende stendi kuchukua matatu(dala dala) nielekee zangu nyumbani.nilipo fika getini,mlinzi akanizuia.akaniambia mtized siwezi nikakuruhusu uendee nyumbani mida hii,nikapigwa na butwaa!!.nikamuuluza kwanini hutaki kunifungulia mlango niende?,akaniambia sikiliza mtized this is nairobi na hii ni mida ya wakora(wahalifu),kwa maana hiyo sitataka niwajibike kwa lolote litakalo kutokea.

nikawa mkali,nikaanza kumfokea mlinzi kwa kutotaka kunifungulia geti.basi baada ya majibizano ya kama dakika 15 hivi,mlinzi yule akawa mpole na akakubali kunifungulia geti kwa sharti kwamba chochote kitakacho nitokea nje ya geti,yeye hatawajibika.

nikatoka na nikawa natembea kuelekea kituo cha daladala hatua chache toka ofisini.baada ya dakika kama 5 hivi nikasikia milio ya risasi ikitoa upande niliokuwa naelekea.wakora walikuwa kazini,kuna tukio walikuwa wanapiga katika duka moja jirani na jengo ilipo ofisi yetu.

nilichanganyikiwa maana nilikuwa peke yangu pale njiani,walinzi wote wamejifungia ndani ya mageti yao,ifahamike kwamba walinzi wa majengo jijini nairobi huwa wanajifungia ndani ya majengo wanayolinda na kuacha kijishimo kidogo ktk geti ili kuchungulia kinacho endelea nje,hii ni tofauti na dsm ambapo baadhi ya makampuni au majengo,walinzi hujifungia nje.

milio ya risasi ilikuwa inaendelea kurindima,uamuzi wa haraka ulionijia ni kukimbilia katika geti la lile jengo la ofisi yetu.nilifika pale nikiwa nahema kwa hofu na uoga,nikwamwita yule mlinzi na kumuomba anifungulie geti nirudi ndani,mwanzo alisita lakini baadaye alinifungulia kwa tendo la haraka na kufunga geti mda huo huo.

baada ya hali ile kutulia,sharti alilonipa ni kwamba hatofungua geti tena mda ule,hivyo basi itabidi nilale ofisi.nilikubaliana na uamuzi wake bila ubishi.nililala ofisini mpaka asubuhi.tangu siku ile,niliachana kabisa na tabia ya kujifanya workaholic kwa kazi za kuajiliwa na kuchelewa kutoka ofisini until midnight

ninachotaka kukwambia dada yangu badiebey ni kwamba usikubali shemeji atoke kazini night hours,kwani kwa kufanya hivyo ipo siku atakukumbana na majanga asiyo yatarajia,haijalishi anatumia private transport au public transport.
kwa mfano mvutie picha pale siku moja atakapo zimikiwa na umeme ktk jengo la ghorofa 5/6 mda wa usiku,halafu jengo zima amebaki peke yake ofisini ghorofa ya 4.noma sana.