KikulachoChako
JF-Expert Member
- Jul 21, 2013
- 20,049
- 40,564
Na wewe sio lazima kila comment ui quote...zingine unaweza zikaushia kwani hujaombwa kuquote....
hapana uo co ushauri wa kumshauri mwenzio, co lazima kila uzi ucoment
Muache atatia adabuNdugu wanajamvi.
Ndoa yangu imekuwa na mtikisiko kidogo ambao kwa kiasi fulani unanipa shida hivyo nakuona kama vile mke wangu hanifai kwa sasa.
Anaonekana ana tatizo la kisaikolojia na hivyo kugeuza jambo lolote analoambiwa kuwa negative yaani kila jambo analiona kwa mtazamo hasi.
Mfano anaweza kuwa amekosea then nikamwambia mke wangu hapa umekosea basi yatatoka maneno kumi, yaani mimi namnyanyasa, na mengine mengi.
Mwanzoni nilikuwa nachukia mpaka nampiga lakini nilivyoona bado hajirekebishi nakaanza kutafuta nini chanzo hasa,
nikajaribu kuchunguza pengine ameanza kuchepuka hakuonekana hivyo.
Pengine marafiki zake wanamjaza ujinga nikagundua hapana. Nikajaribu kufuatilia historia yake vizuri jinsi alivyo zaliwa na jinsi alivyolelewa.
Nilichokigundua wazazi wake yaani mama baba walifariki akiwa mdogo sana na hivyo kuishi na shangazi yake, lakini shangazi yake akawa anatreat vibaya hata na ndugu wengine wakawa kama vile hawamthamini
Aliamua kutoka kwa shangazi yake kwa kukimbia na kwenda kuishi kwa mama yake mdogo.
Lakini nako kukawa hivyo hivyo.
Sasa amekuwa hivyo kwenye akili akajijengea kwamba yeye hakuna wa kumthamini, hata ni kimkosea anatoa maneno ya kukata tamaa hivyo lakini namuomba msamaha then anakuwa sawa.
Naombeni ushauri nini nifanye maana kumpeleka kwa wanasaikolojia nahisi ataona kama nimetoa mambo yake nje. Anasumbuliwa na kitu asichokijua yeye.
kosea kujenga...
ila usikosee kuoa/kuolewa
Ndugu wanajamvi.
Ndoa yangu imekuwa na mtikisiko kidogo ambao kwa kiasi fulani unanipa shida hivyo nakuona kama vile mke wangu hanifai kwa sasa.
Anaonekana ana tatizo la kisaikolojia na hivyo kugeuza jambo lolote analoambiwa kuwa negative yaani kila jambo analiona kwa mtazamo hasi.
Mfano anaweza kuwa amekosea then nikamwambia mke wangu hapa umekosea basi yatatoka maneno kumi, yaani mimi namnyanyasa, na mengine mengi.
Mwanzoni nilikuwa nachukia mpaka nampiga lakini nilivyoona bado hajirekebishi nakaanza kutafuta nini chanzo hasa,
nikajaribu kuchunguza pengine ameanza kuchepuka hakuonekana hivyo.
Pengine marafiki zake wanamjaza ujinga nikagundua hapana. Nikajaribu kufuatilia historia yake vizuri jinsi alivyo zaliwa na jinsi alivyolelewa.
Nilichokigundua wazazi wake yaani mama baba walifariki akiwa mdogo sana na hivyo kuishi na shangazi yake, lakini shangazi yake akawa anatreat vibaya hata na ndugu wengine wakawa kama vile hawamthamini
Aliamua kutoka kwa shangazi yake kwa kukimbia na kwenda kuishi kwa mama yake mdogo.
Lakini nako kukawa hivyo hivyo.
Sasa amekuwa hivyo kwenye akili akajijengea kwamba yeye hakuna wa kumthamini, hata ni kimkosea anatoa maneno ya kukata tamaa hivyo lakini namuomba msamaha then anakuwa sawa.
Naombeni ushauri nini nifanye maana kumpeleka kwa wanasaikolojia nahisi ataona kama nimetoa mambo yake nje. Anasumbuliwa na kitu asichokijua yeye.
Ndugu wanajamvi.
Ndoa yangu imekuwa na mtikisiko kidogo ambao kwa kiasi fulani unanipa shida hivyo nakuona kama vile mke wangu hanifai kwa sasa.
Anaonekana ana tatizo la kisaikolojia na hivyo kugeuza jambo lolote analoambiwa kuwa negative yaani kila jambo analiona kwa mtazamo hasi.
Mfano anaweza kuwa amekosea then nikamwambia mke wangu hapa umekosea basi yatatoka maneno kumi, yaani mimi namnyanyasa, na mengine mengi.
Mwanzoni nilikuwa nachukia mpaka nampiga lakini nilivyoona bado hajirekebishi nakaanza kutafuta nini chanzo hasa,
nikajaribu kuchunguza pengine ameanza kuchepuka hakuonekana hivyo.
Pengine marafiki zake wanamjaza ujinga nikagundua hapana. Nikajaribu kufuatilia historia yake vizuri jinsi alivyo zaliwa na jinsi alivyolelewa.
Nilichokigundua wazazi wake yaani mama baba walifariki akiwa mdogo sana na hivyo kuishi na shangazi yake, lakini shangazi yake akawa anatreat vibaya hata na ndugu wengine wakawa kama vile hawamthamini
Aliamua kutoka kwa shangazi yake kwa kukimbia na kwenda kuishi kwa mama yake mdogo.
Lakini nako kukawa hivyo hivyo.
Sasa amekuwa hivyo kwenye akili akajijengea kwamba yeye hakuna wa kumthamini, hata ni kimkosea anatoa maneno ya kukata tamaa hivyo lakini namuomba msamaha then anakuwa sawa.
Naombeni ushauri nini nifanye maana kumpeleka kwa wanasaikolojia nahisi ataona kama nimetoa mambo yake nje. Anasumbuliwa na kitu asichokijua yeye.
Siku nyingine akianza maneno yake mpige na kitu kizito maana huyo anaonekana kuwa anataka kukupanda kichwani......
Pole sana kwa yaliyokukuta ndoani . Dear kiukweli hata wewe pia ulikuwa na makosa ya kukimbilia kumpiga mkeo bila hata ya kukaa nae chini na kumuuliza what went wrong through her life . Hukumtendea haki before and please kumpiga mwanamke hakumjengi bali kuna mmbomoa sana tuu ingawaje wengi wao wanajua hili ila wanajifanya wababe. Haya hayo yamepita .
Now I want to tell one thing and secret for us women after went through abused and trials. Kwa experience ya mkeo inafanana kidogo na yangu ingawaje we are two different people , from different back ground . The secret kumfanya mkeo awe normal is to Love her complete , unconditional thats all she needs after her trauma , she needs you to stand up by her side assure her that everything will be okay and no body will ever hurt her anymore because you will protect her no matter what . Hebu siku moja mchukue na kumpeleka sehemu tulivu ukiwa yeye na wewe tuu . Mueleze na kumuonyesha kuwa you do understand the trauma she went through and you are there for now just to love her . I can see and feel your wife still has anger and hate for what she went through . She feels that all people are the same and they will never treat her right . Which is not true but you have to understand that all people who have been abused most of them will feel that way ,as a victim in every situation and circumstances . My dear Try to earn Trust from her by just loving her, appreciate her, protect her from the people who made her suffered or will try to hurt her again by standing up by her side always . This will help her to be more open to you and confess how she feels now . By the time goes by she will learn to trust you , and share a lot of things about what happened from the past . And while she will confess , please don't try to stop her , the only thing you will need to do is to listen , have sympathy for her and assure her that you will always be there for her no matter what . Please don't judge or ignore her , just love her and everything will eventually be okay . Thanks .
Ndugu wanajamvi.
Ndoa yangu imekuwa na mtikisiko kidogo ambao kwa kiasi fulani unanipa shida hivyo nakuona kama vile mke wangu hanifai kwa sasa.
Anaonekana ana tatizo la kisaikolojia na hivyo kugeuza jambo lolote analoambiwa kuwa negative yaani kila jambo analiona kwa mtazamo hasi.
Mfano anaweza kuwa amekosea then nikamwambia mke wangu hapa umekosea basi yatatoka maneno kumi, yaani mimi namnyanyasa, na mengine mengi.
Mwanzoni nilikuwa nachukia mpaka nampiga lakini nilivyoona bado hajirekebishi nakaanza kutafuta nini chanzo hasa,
nikajaribu kuchunguza pengine ameanza kuchepuka hakuonekana hivyo.
Pengine marafiki zake wanamjaza ujinga nikagundua hapana. Nikajaribu kufuatilia historia yake vizuri jinsi alivyo zaliwa na jinsi alivyolelewa.
Nilichokigundua wazazi wake yaani mama baba walifariki akiwa mdogo sana na hivyo kuishi na shangazi yake, lakini shangazi yake akawa anatreat vibaya hata na ndugu wengine wakawa kama vile hawamthamini
Aliamua kutoka kwa shangazi yake kwa kukimbia na kwenda kuishi kwa mama yake mdogo.
Lakini nako kukawa hivyo hivyo.
Sasa amekuwa hivyo kwenye akili akajijengea kwamba yeye hakuna wa kumthamini, hata ni kimkosea anatoa maneno ya kukata tamaa hivyo lakini namuomba msamaha then anakuwa sawa.
Naombeni ushauri nini nifanye maana kumpeleka kwa wanasaikolojia nahisi ataona kama nimetoa mambo yake nje. Anasumbuliwa na kitu asichokijua yeye.
Hawajanifanya kitu..........Kwema bro? Isije ikawa nawe unahitaji msaada wa kisaikolojia, wadada walikufanya nini?...
A very professional advice!Whoever sent the problem should take this advice.Pole sana kwa yaliyokukuta ndoani . Dear kiukweli hata wewe pia ulikuwa na makosa ya kukimbilia kumpiga mkeo bila hata ya kukaa nae chini na kumuuliza what went wrong through her life . Hukumtendea haki before and please kumpiga mwanamke hakumjengi bali kuna mmbomoa sana tuu ingawaje wengi wao wanajua hili ila wanajifanya wababe. Haya hayo yamepita .
Now I want to tell one thing and secret for us women after went through abused and trials. Kwa experience ya mkeo inafanana kidogo na yangu ingawaje we are two different people , from different back ground . The secret kumfanya mkeo awe normal is to Love her complete , unconditional thats all she needs after her trauma , she needs you to stand up by her side assure her that everything will be okay and no body will ever hurt her anymore because you will protect her no matter what . Hebu siku moja mchukue na kumpeleka sehemu tulivu ukiwa yeye na wewe tuu . Mueleze na kumuonyesha kuwa you do understand the trauma she went through and you are there for now just to love her . I can see and feel your wife still has anger and hate for what she went through . She feels that all people are the same and they will never treat her right . Which is not true but you have to understand that all people who have been abused most of them will feel that way ,as a victim in every situation and circumstances . My dear Try to earn Trust from her by just loving her, appreciate her, protect her from the people who made her suffered or will try to hurt her again by standing up by her side always . This will help her to be more open to you and confess how she feels now . By the time goes by she will learn to trust you , and share a lot of things about what happened from the past . And while she will confess , please don't try to stop her , the only thing you will need to do is to listen , have sympathy for her and assure her that you will always be there for her no matter what . Please don't judge or ignore her , just love her and everything will eventually be okay . Thanks .
Ndugu wanajamvi.
Ndoa yangu imekuwa na mtikisiko kidogo ambao kwa kiasi fulani unanipa shida hivyo nakuona kama vile mke wangu hanifai kwa sasa.
Anaonekana ana tatizo la kisaikolojia na hivyo kugeuza jambo lolote analoambiwa kuwa negative yaani kila jambo analiona kwa mtazamo hasi.
Mfano anaweza kuwa amekosea then nikamwambia mke wangu hapa umekosea basi yatatoka maneno kumi, yaani mimi namnyanyasa, na mengine mengi.
Mwanzoni nilikuwa nachukia mpaka nampiga lakini nilivyoona bado hajirekebishi nakaanza kutafuta nini chanzo hasa,
nikajaribu kuchunguza pengine ameanza kuchepuka hakuonekana hivyo.
Pengine marafiki zake wanamjaza ujinga nikagundua hapana. Nikajaribu kufuatilia historia yake vizuri jinsi alivyo zaliwa na jinsi alivyolelewa.
Nilichokigundua wazazi wake yaani mama baba walifariki akiwa mdogo sana na hivyo kuishi na shangazi yake, lakini shangazi yake akawa anatreat vibaya hata na ndugu wengine wakawa kama vile hawamthamini
Aliamua kutoka kwa shangazi yake kwa kukimbia na kwenda kuishi kwa mama yake mdogo.
Lakini nako kukawa hivyo hivyo.
Sasa amekuwa hivyo kwenye akili akajijengea kwamba yeye hakuna wa kumthamini, hata ni kimkosea anatoa maneno ya kukata tamaa hivyo lakini namuomba msamaha then anakuwa sawa.
Naombeni ushauri nini nifanye maana kumpeleka kwa wanasaikolojia nahisi ataona kama nimetoa mambo yake nje. Anasumbuliwa na kitu asichokijua yeye.
nitonye na Tigga Mumba nimewapenda bureee