Miaka 4 ya mahusiano akaambulia patupu

[Heaven on Earth]

6 years and still counting? Kweli mna moyo.

tuna moyo aisee walianza 2008 wameachana 2013. wakati wanaanza rafiki yangu alikua anasoma wakakubaliana akimaliza masomo ndio waanze process, mambo yakawa sio ugomvi hauishi wengine tukabeba mikoba ya shehe yahya watabiri tukatabiri kua hapa hakuna happy ending ikawa hivyo.

ila kaka EMT sa katika scenario ya kuwa masomon napo inakuwa ubaya au ukiwa masomoni muoane au hapo mnafanyaje.

 

[Aurora]

in relationships we shouldnt expect alot from ur partners tuache vitu vije automatic,na kama unaona relationship haieleweki ni bora kutoka mapema rather than kui force coz most of us we dnt accept the reality

 

[EMT]

....ila kaka EMT sa katika scenario ya kuwa masomon napo inakuwa ubaya au ukiwa masomoni muoane au hapo mnafanyaje.

Ndiyo maana nimesema mwanzoni kuwa zipo sababu nyingine ambazo mnaweza ku-date kwa muda mrefu.

Kuhusu kuwa masomoni inategemeana mko level ipi. Kama ni degree kushuka chini, wengi huo ndiyo muda ya kutanua ati unless kama mko matured na umri umesonga mbele.

Kama ni degree ya pili, nyingi ni mwaka tuu na kusubiri mwaka is not a big deal. Lakini wewe unataka ku-settle, mtu anakwambia subiri kwanza nipige hii masters then niunganishie na Ph.D hapo halafu baada ya hapo tutaoana. That's four years of courting you know?

Elimu ni muhimu kwa wapendanao. Lakini ni muhimu pia kwa wapendanao kujadili na kukubaliana jinsi mahusiano yao and probably their potential marriage will-fit in.

So, hakuna ubaya wowote kuoana wakati mkiwa masomoni. So, long mnapendana na mmepanga vizuri mtakavyoishi sioni tatizo.

Suala muhimu ni mtu kujua what you want to achieve from the relationship. Pia kujua dhumuni la mwenzako hata kama ni kumwambia unataka kuolewa na ku-settle down au kumwuliza kabisa kwa nini bado haja-propose. What are his plans?

Hapo atakuchukulia seriously kuwa you mean business so kazi kwake ni sign in au kusepa. There is no point of sitting there on the edge of the seat (though some girls love this) hopping that one day he will propose.

Mie nikigundua hauko certain kama unataka ku-settle, then I won't mind delaying it even further. Courting is not bad.

 

[Muk]

Unajua kukaa kwenye mahusiano muda mrefu sio kwamba mtaweza kuoona. Mimi nilikuwa na mahusiano na mwanamke kwa miaka saba ila siye nitakaye muoa. So avumilie asikate tamaa. Atapa mwingine

 

[Ablessed]

Miaka minne naona kama ni mingi. Of course, kunaweza kuwa na sababu ambazo zinamfanya mwanaume aku-date miaka minne. Inawezekana labda anapatwa na matizo yaliyo juu ya uwezo wake kama kufiwa na watu wa karibu sana, kufukuzwa kazi, au kuuguza mgonjwa, n.k.

Lakini zile execuse za sijui ngoja kwanza nimalize kujenga nyumba I don't but them. Au anakuwambia ana "mambo mengi hivyo, anashindwa kutoa msimamo kwa sasa". Mambo gani hayo ambayo hakushirikishi even after dating for four years? Mwanaume ambaye yuko serious na wewe atakushirikisha kwenye masuala yake. Hayo "mambo mengi yanayomfanya ashindwe kutoa msimamo kwa sasa" yatakuwa pia ni mammbo yako. Lazima mtakaa pamoja na kujadiliana jinsi ya kudeal na hayo mambo bila kuharibu uhusiano wenu. If after four years, bado hana uhakika, then he will never be sure about your relationship and you.

Tofauti na watu wengi wanavyoamini, wanaume wengi wanaweza kuji-commit kwenye mahusiano. Wapo wanaojua moja kwa moja wajicommit kivipi kwenye mahusiano kwa ku-reflect on their lives, how comfortable they are in themselves, attraction waliyonayo kwako plus mazagazaga mengine. Lakini miaka minne ni mingi kwa mwanaume kuwa na uhakika hasa kama amepevuka and is not in his earlier twenties.

This has more to do with the woman than the man. Inabidi huyu mwanamke ajiulize anataka nini hasa? Asahau muda ambao ali-invest kwa huyo mwanaume. This was not a job or some sort of a financial venture between the two. This was all about a relationship. Anaweza kuitumia hiyo miaka minne kujifunza badala ya kudhani kuwa it was a waste of time. Miaka minne atakuwa amekua kiali sasa. Atakuwa amefigure out maisha yake na kujifunza for future relationship(s).

Asante mkuu kwa ku analyze vizuri ndo hivyo tena yaliyopita si ndwele agange yajayo na Mungu atakua pamoja nae. For future relationship yapasa awe mwangalifu na watu wa aina hiyo. Hapo kwenye red azingatie ili kupunguza machungu.

 

[Ablessed]

ila kaka EMT sa katika scenario ya kuwa masomon napo inakuwa ubaya au ukiwa masomoni muoane au hapo mnafanyaje.

Kusubiriana mkiwa masomoni ina mashiko kiasi flani kwani wengi wanapenda kujipa muda mwingi wa kudeal na kitabu bila kuchanganya mambo. Kuna masomo haya ya science huchukua miaka mingi kidogo sasa hili linavumilika lkn pia lazima pawe na commitment ya wazi.

 

[Ablessed]

Unajua kukaa kwenye mahusiano muda mrefu sio kwamba mtaweza kuoona. Mimi nilikuwa na mahusiano na mwanamke kwa miaka saba ila siye nitakaye muoa. So avumilie asikate tamaa. Atapa mwingine

Je from the beginning ulimuweka wazi au hii uliiamua juu kwa juu baada ya kuona kasoro ambazo hutaweza kuzivumila. Hebu kuwa wewe nafac ya huyo bidada halafu ndo umeweka matumaini yote kwake kuwa ndiye utakaeoa . Ulisacrifice mengi ikiwa ni pamoja na ulioona wanafaa kuoa lkn ulibaki nae kwasababu tu ulimpenda and all of the sudden anakuambia i am sorry tafuta mtu mwingine siko tayari kuolewa na wewe je utajisikiaje. Jambo usilopenda kutendewa usiwatendee wengine wanasemaga sijui ,"what goes around comes around", sasa huenda huwa kuna ukweli ktk hili.

 

[CharmingLady]

Ushauri wa EMT uko vizuri aisee... Utamfikia mlemngwa pasi na shaka! Na hata mie nitauchukua for future use!!

Be Blessed

 

[Parata]

nikijaribu ku relate jina la kuhusianisha matukio nahisi nawajua hawa watu walimaliza chuo pamoja ila mmoja anasoma masters,yaani mpaka jina glady ni hilohilo mwanaume anasoma udsm kama nimekosea watakua wanashabihiana vilivyo and jina glady ni jina la girlfriend wangu.....

 

[Kongosho]

kama kuna.sehemu huwezi mlalamikia mtu ni hapa, huwezi oa/olewa na.mtu asiyekidhi viwango vyako vya mke/mme.

Hapo ni kupozana njaa tu.

Na muoaji anajilikana tangu anatongoza, labda aamue kuoa kwa ajali kazini/change of plans.

 

[Potifar]

Habari zenyu bana....

"Gladdy najua unanipenda and of course na mimi nakupenda pia sana tu kama nitakosea naomba unisamehe... you are the woman na zaidi ya hayo una malengo yako hata kama nitakukosa haina shida kama utakuwa ktk mikono salama. mi nina mambo mengi nashindwa kutoa msimamo kwa sasa"

Ni maneno aliyoambiwa rafiki yangu usiku wa kuamkia leo. Anasema alihisi dunia imegeuka Up-side down. Moyo ulisimama kwa ghafla make hakuamini alichoambia na mwanaume ambaye amedumu naye miaka 4 akiamni ndiye mume wake mtarajiwa.

Aisee inauma sana..
anadai hakuna mkwaruzano wala ugomvi. Bali alitaka tu kujua mwanaume ana msimamo gani make walikuwa wanakwenda tu bila kujua hatma ya mahusiano yao.

Tumfariji na kujifunza pia kupitia relationship hii...

Charmgladdy.... na message inaanza Kwa Kusema Gladdy. Kuwa mkweli kidogo haya mambo yanamkuta binadamu yeyote bibie,...
Anyways Intelligent People do ignore..Ushauri wangu nadhan kubaliana na kile alichokisema japo inauma but naamini hata yeye atashangaa kwa nn for all those years mmekuwa kwenye mahusiano halafu kirahis rahis unamwambia mtu muachane anakubali, akijirud sawa lakin pia hata asipojirud piga moyo konde mapenzi yapo tu mama.

 

[MKINGI]

Asante mkuu kwa ku analyze vizuri ndo hivyo tena yaliyopita si ndwele agange yajayo na Mungu atakua pamoja nae. For future relationship yapasa awe mwangalifu na watu wa aina hiyo. Hapo kwenye red azingatie ili kupunguza machungu.

Future relationship akati juzi katimiza 35years..future ipi hapo???