There I said it, its a cruel world for a single woman. I know that for a fact because I am one.
This post is not a "I am looking for a husband post", I already wrote such a post about a year ago, right here at Jamii Forum, with sad, disheartening results. Not one serious man responded, my inbox was full of jokers, pranksters and alas the married man...
This post is for fellow single women and for some men to have a glimpse of what it feels like to be single. To watch your friends and relatives get married and to have the rest of the world mock you for being single, as if it were your fault, as if you wouldn't change that in an instant if you could. (wouldn't you ladies)
So ladies (and gents), why are we single?
I really don't know. Could it be that the men around us are officially blind? Could it be that their minds are saturated with retouched instagram/facebook pics of women with perfect bodies, gorgeous skin, thin waist, perky breasts and butt. That for real they wouldn't spot a normal natural good looking woman even if an angel descended on earth and personally pointed towards the girl's direction?
Could it be that we girls love too deeply and we trust too much? Tell me what is wrong with loving someone? With believing him when he tells you he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Is it our fault that all we get instead is a broken heart and a wet pillow from crying ourselves to sleep?
There must be something wrong with me, you wonder; I am a born again Christian woman who embraces her imperfections and acknowledges that through Christ everyday I become a better me.
Maybe I am too old? Age is nothing but a number so a woman can never be too old. Since you wondered I am thirty years old.
Maybe I am a single mother? I am not. I have never been married and I don't have children. (However even if I was, WHAT IS WRONG WITH BEING A SINGLE MOTHER? why can't you look past that and see the wonderful woman in-front of you?)
Maybe I am always asking a man for money? Nope - I have my own. With a university education and a good highly satisfying job that pays me around 2 million or so per month, I can pay my own bills thank you.
Maybe I can't cook you think? I can cook in a way that would put Jamie Oliver to shame
Maybe I don't clean or wash? Nope that isn't it, I'm clean as clean can be .
Maybe I am short, fat and ugly? I am not bad on the eyes I would like to think, thin body (with an athletic build thanks to aerobics, swimming and some weightlifting here n there to keep me toned), shoulder length hair, good skin and I am ever so comfortable being seen without makeup on my face.
So why am I single? I don't know. But what I do know is Tanzanian men should spot judging us from our marital status but from who we are as human beings. Look at my heart not my body, look at my mind not my ass, look at my education and job accomplishments and for heaven sake stop judging me from my age, or whether or not I have children.
If you dear reader want to be helpful, maybe you can give us single women some pointers on how and where we can meet available men.
As a concluding remark, if Prince Harry can fall in love with a black, divorced woman three years his senior, maybe just maybe there is hope for the rest of us.
"Sonnet"
Update
I am sorry if l offended anyone by posting in English. I didn't mean to make anybody feel left out. Sometimes I use Swahili, Sometimes I use English, Its not me being fake, its just me being myself. Sorry once again.
Samahani kwa kutumia kiswahali, sikutaka mtu yeyote ajihisi vibaya. Wakati mwingine natumia kiswahili na wakati mwingine natumia kiingereza. Sikua na nia mbaya. Nisamehe kwa hilo.
Girl, I think we should not stoop so low as to accept anybody who comes our way even if we have nothing in common with them.
Silently watch and observe him,
-How often does he go to church? (or other place of worship)
-How does he treat you?
-Is he rude, bad mannered and disrespectful to others around him (especially to women,) e.g the waitress serving you food or the askari at the entrance.
-Does he drink alcohol abit too much. (I actually prefer he doesn't drink alcohol at all)
-Don't sleep with him girl. No matter what he says. Even if he calls you "mke wangu" . Hata akikueleza "sema lini nije kujitambulisha" . "Taja mwenyewe tarehe". Once he realises the promise of marriage is not working as you refuse to sleep with him, he will surely disappear. Making way for the right man to come along.
-Before you fall deeply in love do ask him enough questions and carefully read into his answers? They will reveal who he really is.
-Trust your instinct, deep down you know if he is "The One" or the wrong one. Don't ignore that feeling. Not everyman is husband material.
There l said it.