Wakuu
Leo nataka nitoe maada ambayo ntaomba na nyie mchangie ili kuipanua na kuifafanua zaidi ili pamoja tuweze ku-fill the puzzle na kujifunza (of course najua kuna baadhi ya nutcases (kama kawaida) watakuja na maoni ya dharau na matusi wakati watu tunajaribu kujadili mambo muhimu ya kijamii without disrespecting anybody).
Over time i have come to realize kwamba kuna baadhi ya watu hawafai kuwaoa au kuolewa nao. Hawa ni watu ambao kwa wakati huo ulio nao in a relationship (na sometimes always) huwa hawako mentally or psychological ready for marriage. In other words, kuna baadhi ya relationship zinatakiwa kuwa strictly temporary and should never be turned into marriage.Watu hawa ni kama kunguru pori ambao kamwe hawawezi kubadilishwa na kuwa njiwa wakufuga(domesticated). Unapokuwa unatafuta mchumba wa kuoa ni vyema ukawa muangalifu na kuwa na uwezo wa kutofautisha kati ya watu wanaoweza kuja kuwa mke au mume bora na mtulivu vs. wale ambao ni watu wanaofaa ku-date only for a while.
Si kwamba watu hawa wasio marriage material ni watu wabaya as such. Ukweli ni kwamba ni watu wazuri unaoweza kujenga nao urafiki na kuwa-date na mambo yakaenda vizuri tu na wote mkafurahia uhusiano wenu. Jambo la muhimu ni kuelewa tu kwamba thats all that will come out of that friendship or relationship (nothing more nothing less). Na muhimu kabisa ni kuepuka kufanya kosa la kujaribu kutaka kuwaoa au kuolewa na watu hawa wasio marriage material. Ukifanya kosa hilo utakuwa unatia maji kwenye gunia au kusubiri meli uwanja wa ndege. Utakuwa unajikosea wewe mwenyewe na kumkosea yeye. Ni muhimu kutojaribu kumbadili kunguru kuwa njia. it is a collosal technical mistake. However, a caviat is necessary here. Baadhi ya watu hawa (wachache) huwa kunguru for a while na huweza kuja kubadilika mbeleni due to (1) timing issue eg labda bado wadogo sana na hivyo ni immature at the time (2) circumstances - eg kuwa na shida nyigi mno zinazowalazimisha kuwa kunguru at the time. Kwa hawa wachache kuna tendency ya wao wenyewe kuja kubadilika baade (sio wewe kuwabadili) na kuwa njiwa after a long period of learning, growing or maturing.
On the other hand, kuna baadhi ya watu ambao by virtue of their nature (just the way they are) ni watu watulivu, bora na wanaofaa kuoana nao (njiwa ambao by nature ni domesticated species). Watu hawa ni hard to find lakini ukijaliwa kuwapata basi utafanikiwa sana katika ndoa, maisha na furaha ya familia. Jambo la muhimu ni kuwa na uwezo wa kutofautisha na kuwajua hawa. Muhimu zaidi ni kuepuka imani ya kuwa unaweza kumbadili kunguru akawa njiwa. However, a caviat is also necessary in this case. Every now and then kuna tendency (over time) ya njiwa kuweza kubadilika na kuwa kunguru due to either avoidable or unavoidable circumstances. it is necessary to study your partner and catch signs of a njiwa that is about to go bad in order to stop them before they are damaged.
Wakuu, ni muhimu sana kuweza kutofautisha njiwa na kunguru pale unapokuwa unatafuta mwenzi wa kujenga nae maisha na familia. Itasaidia sana harakati zako za kutafuta mme/mke mwema na kupunguza idadi ya talaka huku tukiongeza idadi ya familia bora na zenye furaha Tanzania.
Nawakilisha.
Leo nataka nitoe maada ambayo ntaomba na nyie mchangie ili kuipanua na kuifafanua zaidi ili pamoja tuweze ku-fill the puzzle na kujifunza (of course najua kuna baadhi ya nutcases (kama kawaida) watakuja na maoni ya dharau na matusi wakati watu tunajaribu kujadili mambo muhimu ya kijamii without disrespecting anybody).
Over time i have come to realize kwamba kuna baadhi ya watu hawafai kuwaoa au kuolewa nao. Hawa ni watu ambao kwa wakati huo ulio nao in a relationship (na sometimes always) huwa hawako mentally or psychological ready for marriage. In other words, kuna baadhi ya relationship zinatakiwa kuwa strictly temporary and should never be turned into marriage.Watu hawa ni kama kunguru pori ambao kamwe hawawezi kubadilishwa na kuwa njiwa wakufuga(domesticated). Unapokuwa unatafuta mchumba wa kuoa ni vyema ukawa muangalifu na kuwa na uwezo wa kutofautisha kati ya watu wanaoweza kuja kuwa mke au mume bora na mtulivu vs. wale ambao ni watu wanaofaa ku-date only for a while.
Si kwamba watu hawa wasio marriage material ni watu wabaya as such. Ukweli ni kwamba ni watu wazuri unaoweza kujenga nao urafiki na kuwa-date na mambo yakaenda vizuri tu na wote mkafurahia uhusiano wenu. Jambo la muhimu ni kuelewa tu kwamba thats all that will come out of that friendship or relationship (nothing more nothing less). Na muhimu kabisa ni kuepuka kufanya kosa la kujaribu kutaka kuwaoa au kuolewa na watu hawa wasio marriage material. Ukifanya kosa hilo utakuwa unatia maji kwenye gunia au kusubiri meli uwanja wa ndege. Utakuwa unajikosea wewe mwenyewe na kumkosea yeye. Ni muhimu kutojaribu kumbadili kunguru kuwa njia. it is a collosal technical mistake. However, a caviat is necessary here. Baadhi ya watu hawa (wachache) huwa kunguru for a while na huweza kuja kubadilika mbeleni due to (1) timing issue eg labda bado wadogo sana na hivyo ni immature at the time (2) circumstances - eg kuwa na shida nyigi mno zinazowalazimisha kuwa kunguru at the time. Kwa hawa wachache kuna tendency ya wao wenyewe kuja kubadilika baade (sio wewe kuwabadili) na kuwa njiwa after a long period of learning, growing or maturing.
On the other hand, kuna baadhi ya watu ambao by virtue of their nature (just the way they are) ni watu watulivu, bora na wanaofaa kuoana nao (njiwa ambao by nature ni domesticated species). Watu hawa ni hard to find lakini ukijaliwa kuwapata basi utafanikiwa sana katika ndoa, maisha na furaha ya familia. Jambo la muhimu ni kuwa na uwezo wa kutofautisha na kuwajua hawa. Muhimu zaidi ni kuepuka imani ya kuwa unaweza kumbadili kunguru akawa njiwa. However, a caviat is also necessary in this case. Every now and then kuna tendency (over time) ya njiwa kuweza kubadilika na kuwa kunguru due to either avoidable or unavoidable circumstances. it is necessary to study your partner and catch signs of a njiwa that is about to go bad in order to stop them before they are damaged.
Wakuu, ni muhimu sana kuweza kutofautisha njiwa na kunguru pale unapokuwa unatafuta mwenzi wa kujenga nae maisha na familia. Itasaidia sana harakati zako za kutafuta mme/mke mwema na kupunguza idadi ya talaka huku tukiongeza idadi ya familia bora na zenye furaha Tanzania.
Nawakilisha.
