Kiranja Mkuu
JF-Expert Member
- Feb 18, 2010
- 4,066
- 4,085
HOME INTERNAL MEMO
FROM: Father
TO: ALL DEPENDANTS AND RELATIVES
CC: MOTHER
BCC: Girl friend
SUBJECT: FINANCIAL MELTDOWN/COST
CUTTING MEASURES FOR YOUR URGENT
ATTENTION
Due to the current economic situation, all
domestic rules and
regulations have been revised as below and
under no circumstance is
any violation going to be accepted.
1.The Kitchen and all pantries are declared
Restricted Zones. Entry and/or passage shall
require express
permission from myself upon submission of
written request.
2.Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be
discussed!
3. Such food items as rice, chicken, butter,
jam,
eggs, bread and milk are Restricted. Anyone
intending to eat any of
such foodstuffs must write to me in
triplicate, with three days
notice, giving justifications backed by a
qualified dietician report
as supportive documentation.
4.Watering with hoses is banned. Further,
only
food-giving plants shall be watered. No
lawns or flowers shall
receive water.. For internal decoration, only
plastic and dry-
flower arrangements shall be permitted.
5.Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 litres
of
water per day per person while bathing in
the evening is banned unless
there are medical reasons.
6.All security lights should be removed with
immediate
effect. All dependants shall abide by an all-
night guard-duty roster
I shall make available shortly.
7.No dependant shall entertain friends
indoors, far
less attempt to offer food, drinks or even
music. Those who want
their guests to listen to music shall sing for
them.
8.No one is allowed to talk to officials from
police,
Council or Court Bailiffs; doing so shall carry
an instantaneous
penalty of ejection from The House.
9.Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or
any other
property in The House, shall immediately
have to seek temporary
employment somewhere to earn money to
replace such broken item(s).
10.All visitors intending to spend a night/
week or more
shall apply in triplicate and give two months
notice, with an
endorsement from their town Mayor, Village
Headman or Church Priest,
giving convincing reasons why they can't
stay at their homes. Failure
to do this shall result in their being turned
away, at the gate, upon
arrival
THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT
TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!!!,
FROM: Father
TO: ALL DEPENDANTS AND RELATIVES
CC: MOTHER
BCC: Girl friend
SUBJECT: FINANCIAL MELTDOWN/COST
CUTTING MEASURES FOR YOUR URGENT
ATTENTION
Due to the current economic situation, all
domestic rules and
regulations have been revised as below and
under no circumstance is
any violation going to be accepted.
1.The Kitchen and all pantries are declared
Restricted Zones. Entry and/or passage shall
require express
permission from myself upon submission of
written request.
2.Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be
discussed!
3. Such food items as rice, chicken, butter,
jam,
eggs, bread and milk are Restricted. Anyone
intending to eat any of
such foodstuffs must write to me in
triplicate, with three days
notice, giving justifications backed by a
qualified dietician report
as supportive documentation.
4.Watering with hoses is banned. Further,
only
food-giving plants shall be watered. No
lawns or flowers shall
receive water.. For internal decoration, only
plastic and dry-
flower arrangements shall be permitted.
5.Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 litres
of
water per day per person while bathing in
the evening is banned unless
there are medical reasons.
6.All security lights should be removed with
immediate
effect. All dependants shall abide by an all-
night guard-duty roster
I shall make available shortly.
7.No dependant shall entertain friends
indoors, far
less attempt to offer food, drinks or even
music. Those who want
their guests to listen to music shall sing for
them.
8.No one is allowed to talk to officials from
police,
Council or Court Bailiffs; doing so shall carry
an instantaneous
penalty of ejection from The House.
9.Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or
any other
property in The House, shall immediately
have to seek temporary
employment somewhere to earn money to
replace such broken item(s).
10.All visitors intending to spend a night/
week or more
shall apply in triplicate and give two months
notice, with an
endorsement from their town Mayor, Village
Headman or Church Priest,
giving convincing reasons why they can't
stay at their homes. Failure
to do this shall result in their being turned
away, at the gate, upon
arrival
THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT
TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!!!,
