Beer Stories

Ngambo Ngali said:
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Hii picha kamwe haitoonekana
 
A shy but handsome fellow was at a club and sees a beautiful woman seated alone at the bar. After an hour of screwing up his courage he heads over to her and asks tentatively, "Uh, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"

Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the poor guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he meanders back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says,

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200 an hour!"

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One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.



Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away.


The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. To his astonishment, the results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be.
The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the designated decoy
 
Beer VS. Women
*A BEER is always wet... point for the BEER!
*The BEER is horrible if its hot... point for the WOMAN!
*A frozen BEER satisfies you... point for the BEER!
*If you return to your house smelling of BEER, your woman can get angry, but If you arrive at house smelling like WOMEN, your woman will be angry for sure and she can maybe leave you... Tie!... since it depends of the point of view. Wink
*Ten BEERS in one night and later you wont be able to drive to your house. Ten WOMEN in one night and there is no need to go nowhere else... point for the WOMAN.
*If a police feels that you smell like BEER, he can arrest you, if the police feels that you smell like WOMEN he will invite you a beer.. point for the WOMAN!
*The beer, while is older is better... point for the BEER!
*Many BEERS can make you see UFOs, many WOMEN can make you see God... point for the WOMAN!
*If you ask yourself how will be your next WOMAN you are normal. If you ask yourself how will be your next BEER, you are an alcoholic man... point for the WOMAN!
*Taking off the label of a BEER is amused. Taking off the trousers of a WOMAN is so much amused... point for the WOMAN!
*You pay taxes for beer... point for the WOMAN.
*If you take another BEER, first one does not get angry... point for the BEER!
*You can assure that you are first in "opening" a BEER... point for the BEER!
*If you shake a BEER, after awhile calms for itself... point for the BEER!
*Clear, dark, at any time you can choose the BEER that you want... point for the BEER!
*You know exactly how much it will cost you a BEER... point for the BEER!
*The BEER doesnt have a mother... point for the BEER!
*You can do it if you want, but a BEER will not request to hug or embrace it during half hour after you have taken it... point for the BEER!

FINAL SCORE: The BEER wins the battle! (10 to 7)

**If you are a WOMAN and at this moment this is making you feel angry, remember that the beer doesnt care about this battle... Another point for the BEER!

FINAL MARKER 11 To 7!
lets go to celebrate the victory with the winner!​




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Tusker baridi ukimaliza kupitia JF karibu hapa tutafakari maana weekend hii ni ndefu tusaidiane kumaliza hii stock.
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Je uliwahi kujua kuhusu hili???

Non-Alcoholic Drinks

Please, take care of yourself. A recent joint study conducted by the
Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates
that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related. This means that
the remaining 77% are caused by people who just drink coffee,
carbonated drinks, juices, yogurts, and crap like that. Therefore,
beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many
accidents. This message is sent by someone who worries about your
well being.
 
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