JF Chit-Chats
General Chat, Talk about anything that falls under no category on the board, but remember FOLLOW THE RULES!
Konda akiwa usingizini akaota mteja kagoma kumlipa nauli. Wakabishana na hatimae mteja akachoropoka katika daladala na kuanza kukimbia, konda akaamua kumfukuza, mteja ambae akaingia kwenye shimo...
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Habari wapendwa wa CC! Baada kimya kichache nimerudi tena kwenye uwanja huu maridhawa! Niliwamisi mno!
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Husband on phone:
Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right
now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Santa: No this is her husband speaking
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Jamani nilikuwa nawaza hivi kama kuna antivirus basi pia kuna uwezekano akawepo ankovirus, fadhavirusi, madhavirusi................ nisaidieni kuwakumbuka wengine.
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Wadauwenza!
Nauliza hivi hili neno "KAMA NINI" Lina maana gani ?
Utasikia ;
> Tamu kama nini! > Chungu kama nini !
> Kali kama nini !
> Mkarimu kama nini !
> Jeuri kama nini !
> M'bishi...
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wakuu hivi mbagala RANGI TATU ni rangi ipi na ipi embu nifamisheni???
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Jamaa mmoja alienda kufanya kazi kama house boy. Kwa mara ya kwanza alikutana na mama mwenye nyuma akamuuliza jina lake akamwambia naitwa mume wangu, alipokutana na binti wa mama mwenye nyumba...
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ikiwa wiki inaelekea ukingoni nnaomba kwa heshima na taadhima nitambue maneno yaliyoshika kasi wiki hii, ni LIBOLO na ZOMBIE, akaaa mie sitaki stress weka na wewe ya kwako.....
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Nyumbani kwetu tupo wengi hadi nyumba ye2 ina roundabout!
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Mlevi mmoja alitangaza baa kuwa ana wasiwasi kua yeye ni mungu.
Akaulizwa kwanini???
Mlevi: sababu nikifika mtaani kwangu nasikia watu wanasema
"mungu wangu amelewa tena...!!"
Nikifika...
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Mkulima m1 mchamungu alikuwa anatoka shambani ghafla akakutana na simba kwavile gakuweza kukimbia alipiga magoti akafumba macho kumuomba msaada mungu simba asimle ile anafumbua macho anamuona...
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Hivi ndivyo mwanafunz wa form four 2012 alivyojibu kwenye pepa ya Kiswahili!
Swali:Eleza hatua za kuandaa MDAHALO.
Mwanafunz akiwa hajui maana ya MDAHALO alijibu hivi...
1.Unauchukua mdahalo wako...
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Kuna Babu mmoja Kijijini kwetu kila mwaka analeta fuja na hashtakiwi
Anawadanganya wototo wa kiume wampelekee maji porini
Wakishafika anawakamata na kuwapiga kasha anawakatakata kwa kisu hadi...
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Mlevi mmoja aliingia kwenye matatu nakukaa siti ya mbele, akaweka begilake kwenye siti kulia kwake kishaakalala.Baada ya muda akaingia mlevimwingine akatoa lile begi, akaketiyeye...naye...
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Kila mtanzania anafatilia siasa ya kenya na unakuta anamjua kila mgombea wa kenya, swali ni je? wakenya nao huwa wanafatilia siasa zetu na kuwajua viongoz wetu???
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nipo some where, napumzika kidogo baada ya mihangaiko ya siku, napata soda ila kaja mdada ni mhudumu hapa ama kweli uzuri wa mtu upo machoni pa mtu jamani huyu dada kaumbika, kaumbika she is sex...
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ina kila kitu kinacho hitajika kwa matumizi ya binaadamu,choo ndani kwa ndani.
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wana JF mnawasaidiaje wa2 hawa:
wakwanza ana;
CIV _ F,
KISW_F,
HIST_F,
GEOG_D,
ENG_D,
BIOS_D,
PHYS_D,
CHEM_D,
MATS_C.
Wapili ana;
KISW_F,
CIV_F,
GEOG_F,
BIOS_D,
CHEM_D,
PHYS_D...
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UROHO M-BAYA...Mwizi alibomoa nyumba akaingia kwenye stoo akaona vinyama kwenye kibakuli vilivyokauka,akaonja kimoja akaona ni kitamu kina chumvi chumvi! Akafurahi akakaa chini akala vyote...
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