JF Chit-Chats and Jokes

General Chat, Talk about anything that falls under no category on the board, but remember FOLLOW THE RULES!
Husband: "Good Evening Dear, I'm Now logged in." Wife: Have you brought the grocery? Husband: Bad command or filename. Wife: But I told you in the morning Husband: Erroneous syntax. Abort...
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Three men a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before...
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Whether Democrat or Republican, I think you'll get a kick out of this! A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?' Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this...
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*Mgonjwa*: Daktari naumwa sana namoyona najisikia kufa kufa tu. *Daktari*: Wewe ni mpenzi wa timu gani ya mpira wa miguu? *Mgonjwa*: Kwa Tanzania mimi ni shabiki wa Simba na Ulaya mimi ni...
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Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and says, Hello?" Everyone else in the room stops to listen...
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Unajua njia rahisi ya kuwakwepa waomba bia? hii hapa. caller; Mambo vipi mshakaji weekend inakuwaje. msela: Poa mi nipo mtaani nakamata Tusker tu.. caller; Sasa upo nije basi unipe bia...
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God asked Jomo Kenyatta how many children he had during his time on earth. He replied saying he had three! Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God gave Kenyatta a...
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============ ========= ========= ====== AYUBA: I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College. Friend: Really, what is he studying? AYUBA: No, he is not studying, they are studying him...
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"All Women be informed that lying in bed, naked, entangled with a Man and screaming: *Oh my god* *Oh my god* *Oh my...
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Jamaa wawili waifanya interview ya kazi ,bahati nzuri au mbaya wakapata 90% wote wawili na kufungana. Boss akampa kazi yule mtahiniwa wa kwanza.Yule wa pili akaenda kulalamika kwa nini hakupewa...
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A husband working abroad wrote to his wife ... Dear Sweetheart, I can't send my salary this month. The global market crises has affected me, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart...
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cheki watu walivyo waongo jamani......................!
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Friendship among Women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of...
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Kuna tetesi kuwa yule Mdudu wa Kipemba ametua kwa mara nyengine katika mitaa ya Bongo ,mwandishi wetu aliekuwa akipita mitaa iliyoathiriwa na kiumbe huyo wa ajabu alikutana na watu tofauti ambao...
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A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After the mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the...
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A PHD graduate and an ordinary man went on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fell asleep. Some hours later, the ordinary man woke up his PHD friend. "Look up at the sky and tell me what you...
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A man was heading home after a drinking spree. When he was approaching his home, armed gangsters blocked him and took command of his vehicle. On frisking him they failed to get any money and out...
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Q: What is the similarity between men and rats? A: Both keep searching for new holes. Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period? A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts...
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Do you know that dogs cannot bark while they are running,as their diaphragms will not allow it?
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Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night
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