What to do?

[Tized]

I agree, its a uphill task, its what I am expecting. But its an exciting one I tell you. I have lived it once.

Nimewahi kuishi na kaka yetu wakati fulani miaka hio, Ni MR PERFECT kupita lugha inavyoweza kutamka. He is the only RIGHT person, He has all ideas (of course he owns them), He has all the pride/ego, He is always a winner, He always speak and wants to be heard, he always search what you didn't do right, when, where, and your weakness, he has the best memory on earth, he wants to be noticed and appreciated (he doesnt apprecaite you inperson, instead he will cnfess to others). If you are about to win an argument against him he wil refer to your weaknesses and wrongs in the public just to ensure he doesnt lose the argument and many more staff. Briefly he learned and changed and I was of a much help so to say. Japo bado ana baadhi ya zile elements ila sasa anajifahamu na ni madhara yepi anayoweza kuleta kwa kutaka kuwa juu muda wote.

Ukiangalia tatizo hapa alikua ni huyu brother, japo hata ungemchinja hangekubali yeye ni tatizo. Hata wewe usipopenda kujitafakari kwa mapana yako huenda ni tatizo zaidi ila kwa kuwa ni Mr perfectionist usiweze kuona. Mind you matatizo unayoyaona au hizo weakness ni kweli anazo na ni kweli uko sahihi usifikiri nasema vinginevyo... ila APPROACH YAKO YA KUCHUKUA TU MABAYA, KUSEMA TU MABAYA YAKE, KUFUMBIA MACHO MAZURI YAKE, KUTAKA TU YEYE ABADILIKE ILA WEWE UKO PERFECT HUNA CHA KUBADILIKA NDIO TATIZO LA MSINGI HAPA.

Wewe ndio tatizo, jifunze kujishusha na kukubali pia unaweza kukosea na pia unakosea, look arround yourself, work on your self, your attitude, language, and so far never again point her weakness, appreciate her and mchukulie madhaifu yake pole pole atajifunza na kubadilika.

kwani ukijishusha UTAPUNGUKIWA NA NINI???? zaidi naona utakuwa bora na kurudisha mahusiano yako na furaha. Vinginevyo keep up your pride and finally you may end up loosing your precious wife and relationship (of which you have destroyed it already)

TO GET IT ALL YOU NEED TO BE READY TO LOOSE IT ALL. SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE, EMBRACE HUMILITY.
YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE TO CHANGE AND YOU HAVE THE KEYS.

Albeit my apology for being hard on you. I am entittled not but may help you rethink your attitude.

Mkuu, allow me to confess what you have just advised here is an uphill task to me. But I gonna start putting it into action. Its true I am perfectionist (that's my weakness), I catch my breath when a person does what I consider wrong or less than what I expect of them. I need to get rid of this mindset and behavior.

I am always a fair person and open minded. Nakubali kukosolewa na pia nakubali kubadilika. I am determined to change and learn how to better understand her to make her tick better, but what I wish for is kama angekuepo mtu ama mwanamke ambaye angeweza kumfungua na mwenzangu nae akubali kubadilika na kujaribu kwa nguvu zote kunielewa. then tukutane somewhere katikati safari ianzie hapo kwa hatua mpya.

Akibaki kama alivyo na misimamo yake ikibaki kama ilivyo, nahisi itaniwia ngumu zaidi kuwa na mwanzo mpya kama nilivyosema hapa mwanzo wa hii post. Ni mtizamo tu naweza kushauriwa zaidi katika hili ninalolihisi.

 

[Werrason]

Mkuu jaxonwaziri, naona kwenye ndoa yako ulipitia mteremko na tambarare, sasa upo kwenye kupanda(mwinuko)! "You have to!". Kama kweli unataka solution hakuna short cut,wala nini! unapaswa kufuata alichokushauri mkuu Tized hapo juu. White will be white n black will be black. All the best.

 

[chardams]

Tatizo kubwa lipo kwako ndugu, kila saa kukosoa tu kila saa kulalamika, kila saa kulaumu na kuona mabaya tu ya mwenza wako unayotaka abadilike (awe perfect).... Hii kitu kwenye mahusiano au hata kwenye maisha ya kawaida tu ni SUMU mbaya sana.

Huna shida nyingine yeyote ile. Acha kuwa Mr perfect, mshukuru na mfurahie mkeo kwa vile alivyo sasa, vile ambavyo amekua mke mwema kwako, vile amewalea vyema wanao, vile ambavyo amakuwa mwaminifu kwako (seven years hakuna tuhuma za kucheat sio mchezo kwa kizai cha leo) na mengine meengi anayokufanyia mazuri itamsaidia kuboreka zaidi.. Maandiko yanasema ''Mithali 17:22 MOYO ULICHANGAMKA NI DAWA NZURI, BALI ROHO ILIOPONDEKA HUIKAUSHA MIFUPA '' (Asignment yako iko hapa kuuchangamsha moyo wake)

Kama kila wakati ni kukosoa kwa kujidai unautetea ukweli, kumlaumu kwa vitu vidogo kama unavyosema unakosea sana kaka kwa maana UNAIPONDA ROHO WAKE bila kujua. Na roho ikishapondeka ndio inakua imejaa uchungu, hasira, chuki, ghadhabu, visasi, woga/wasiwasi na kukata tamaa. Wanawake wapo sensitive sana na comments tunazowapa na kama kila saa ni kusikia habari mbaya tu utampoteza kabisa siku za usoni kwa depression n.k kaka yangu

Learn to appreciate her, compliment her, mfurahie kwa mapungufu aliyo nayo (si ilimpenda kiwa hivyo toka mwanzo), acha kabisa kumkosoa bali katika kila jambo zungumzeni kwa nini liko hivyo na mnawezaje kusaidiana kuuondoa au kucover huo upungufu. Ukilenga kumkosoa mwanamke unatakiwa utumie akili na busara sana kiasi kwamba utamfanya akuelewe na mnaishia kucheka baadae. Kumuambia tu acha kitu fulani kama mtoto sio sawa, bali mnazungumza na kubembelezana kwa upendo.

Kumbuka ukiwa na nafsi ya kukosoa kosoa sana ni NADRA sana itatokea uweze kuona mazuri ya mtu. Jitahidi kwenye hilo.

Tumeambia tutumie akili sana kuishi na wanawake, usimchukulie kama mtu yeyote tu yule au kama unavyowakomalia watu walio chini yako ofisini au kwenye kazi yako ukaona wanawake nao wako hivyo.

THE ONLY ONE WITH A PROBLEM AND YOU CAN TO CHANGE IS YOURSELF MR jaxonwaziri. No one else. We can only influence the changes, we can not change people. See how to improve your infuence, and leaders we only show the way and not telling the way.

Pole nimetumia lugha ngumu kidogo, ila kwa kuwa wewe ni mwanaume mwenzangu, unapaswa kuambiwa vyako ili upone.

Best to you.
Tized.

Tized ushauri wako ni mzuri ila sikubaliani nao kwa kiasi fulani.

Umesema kwamba tatizo liko kwa jaxonwaziri na umemshauri kuwa ajifunze to appreciate and compliment his wife.
Kwa nini sikubaliani na wewe katika kipengele hicho; ni kwa sababu hujui / hatujui ni katika jambo / mambo yapi jaxonwaziri amekuwa akimkosoa mkewe kwa ukweli na udhati kama alivosema.


narudi kwnye upande wa babu Asprin kwamba jaxonwaziri amlete mkewe hapa ili tusikilize upande wa pili ndio tuweze kushauri, kwani hapo tutaweza kujua who is wrong and who is right.

Since kumleta shemeji yetu hapa litakuwa ni kizungumkuti tunamuomba jaxonwaziri atueleze japo in brief ni kwa mabo yapi amekuwa aki offer his candid opinion to his wife; hapo tutaweza kujua who is wrong and who is right ili tumshauri ipasavyo.

jaxonwaziri what is it that your wife anataka umpake mafuta kwa mgongo wa chupa????????????

 

[Tized]

Mkuu chardams you have a very valid point. Labda itasaidia akitoa maelezo ya ziada... ila ukimsoma vzr unaona ni mtu anaependa kuona vitu perfect kila wakati, trust me hata kama ni bosi mahali walioko chini yake lazima nao watakua na ishu flani naye hata kama hawamwambii au kumuonesha.

Napenda sana kuangalia vitu from behind the scene...... Nilivyosoma ishu yake nilipata picha flani na ushauri wangu umelenga kwenye attitude yake ya u-perfectionist ambayo pia ameikiri kuwa anayo. Na kwa uzoefu mdogo nilio nao (nimeuelezea kwenye comments zilizofuata) ni nadra sana kuwa perfectionist halafu uweze ku-appreciate machache au mengi aliyo nayo mwingine. you just spot what is wrong, or what needs to be done. Period. yale mazuri na mema unaona kama ni wajibu wake. Sasa ukute ni hivyo na mke wake anajitahidi kila siku kuboresha vile vichache anavyoviweza lakini jamaa akirudi haoni improvement yeyote japo ipo... yye ni kukomaa na kuongeza kero nyingine mkewe arekebishe nayo.

We are all human beings, we need to be appreciated by the little things we do, being appreciated fuels you to do even better. Kukosolewa kila saa kunakuondolea ujasiri, kunakupa woga/kunakupa kutojiamini, uchungu, hasira, kunakunyima furaha, unatamani uwe mbali na huyo mtu maana akiwa karibu tu unalo... n.k

Si unaona mkuu chardams ulivyoanza comment yako? ''Ushauri wano ni mzuri ila.....'' Unaonaje ungeanza kwa kuniponda kwanza?....... wahenga walisema Never criticise before you genuinly praise''

Tized ushauri wako ni mzuri ila sikubaliani nao kwa kiasi fulani.

Umesema kwamba tatizo liko kwa jaxonwaziri na umemshauri kuwa ajifunze to appreciate and compliment his wife.
Kwa nini sikubaliani na wewe katika kipengele hicho; ni kwa sababu hujui / hatujui ni katika jambo / mambo yapi jaxonwaziri amekuwa akimkosoa mkewe kwa ukweli na udhati kama alivosema.


narudi kwnye upande wa babu Asprin kwamba jaxonwaziri amlete mkewe hapa ili tusikilize upande wa pili ndio tuweze kushauri, kwani hapo tutaweza kujua who is wrong and who is right.

Since kumleta shemeji yetu hapa litakuwa ni kizungumkuti tunamuomba jaxonwaziri atueleze japo in brief ni kwa mabo yapi amekuwa aki offer his candid opinion to his wife; hapo tutaweza kujua who is wrong and who is right ili tumshauri ipasavyo.

jaxonwaziri what is it that your wife anataka umpake mafuta kwa mgongo wa chupa????????????

 

[PetCash]

My fellow married men, your advice please.
Married women,give me insights into woman's view and point out where I am wrong.

Mkuu kwanza poleni. I know very well what you are going through (believe me). Si kosa lako wala lake, ni kosa lenu...
Labda nikupe a little insight kuhusu sisi.
No, i'll start by telling you about my wife. Ni mwanamke wa pekee(to me), yani huwa sidhani kama nikipewa chance nyingine ya kutafuta mke nitabahatika kiasi hiki. Ana uwezo mkubwa sana wa kushirikiana katika kusolve tabu. Kila gumu tulilopitia tumelisolve pamoja na watu wa nje hawajawahi kuingilia maamuzi yetu.

Yani there is a time ninashindwa kabisa kurekebisha kitu na she does it. Ananiheshimu sana. kuna mengi naweza kuelezea ila tuseme tu namshukuru Mungu kwa mke huyu. However, I tell her sometimes how lucky I am, Ila mara nyingi namchukulia poa. Atajitahidi sana kunifanyia vitu(atapika kama tuna sherehe, ataninunulia vitu, atanipa special care n.k) ili nimpe baraka za sifa lakini either ntajisahau, ntafanya makusudi ama basi tu ntachukulia poa. Na mimi mtu huwa akikosea namuambia hapohapo na hutasikia tena nasema, nasahau. Kiukweli tangazo la waume bora likitolewa na mimi ntaenda (hata kwa kujifichaficha!). Meaning, I am just an average guy doing everything i can for my wife, but i have faults(kwanza nyingi).

Mahali tulipocollide na wife ni hapa. Nikimkosea hasemi anavumilia tu, siku nikimsema akikasirika ataanza kusema things za way back(though kila kitu huwa ni mimi na yeye, mtu wingine haingizwi). Kuna mara tukaanza frustration.

Mimi nikajiangalia kuwa recently akikosea namwambia! akifanya vizuri kuliko kawaida, napotezea hiyo ikapelekea akaanza kujiona a bad wife...Kwa sababu mkuu, hatuko perfect na tunajisikia vibaya tukikosea ila ni zile sifa za wenzetu wakati tunapofanya vizuri ndio hutukumbusha kwamba nasisi ni binadamu wazuri regardless of our weaknesses!
Na hata mtu akikwambia hajali ila bwana opinion ya your significant other ina nguvu sana kwenye your self value.

Na yeye akaja kujua kuwa sipendi aumie kimya kimya akawa ananiambia. Sasa mimi nikikosolewa nakuwa very fine with it. Ila sasa nikikosolewa sana, nakosa muelekeo kwamba, mbona hakuna jema ninalofanya? Sometimes I felt like a useless husband (nasema kweli). Tukaanza kuwa hatusemezani sana. Basi one day akaniambia, "If I was given another chance to look for a husband, I don't know what I will do if I couldn't find you". Huku analia! Dah, that is one of the days that niliinjoy ndoa jamani. NIlijiona booooonge la dume la mbegu. Yani nilitakiwa kwenda kazini jumamosi, kisha kwenda kuwasalimia ndugu fulani na kikao cha harusi, kisha jumapili ibadani kisha twende kwa mama. Hapo ratiba ya mpira hujaweka. I CANCELLED ALL THOSE THINGS.

Nillimpeleka honey wangu Zanzibar tukaenda kuchoma lots of money ambazo hata sikuwaza naweza kuwa mpuuzi kiasi cha kuzitumia, kuanzia saa 12 jioni ijumaa hadi jumatatu na kazini nilichelewa. It was the best time I have ever had!
Dah! ndoa tamu weweeee!!!!

 

[Sosthenes Maendeleo]

Pole sana mkuu, jarbu kuwashirikisha wazazi.wa pande zote mbili wanaweza kusaidia pia

 

[PetCash]

Remember mkuu in marriage its not the question of who is right or who is wrong. Ni uwezo wa kuyakubali makosa yatokanayo na udhaifu wa mwenzio na kuileta ndoa katika muafaka (sometimes through compromise).
Binadamu wote ni wakosaji na ndio maana tumeshindwa kuwa waumini wazuri wa Mungu. Kuna kosa atafanya mwenzi wako itabidi upotezee na si kwa sababu kosa ni dogo la kusameheka bali kwa sababu unampenda na ndoa unaitaka.
Just tengeneza good times na mkeo...hapo magumu yatakapoanza utakumbuka hivyo vipindi na utajua bado unamuhitaji.
Mkiishi kama wajibu hakuna mtakapofika. Ndoa ilitengenezwa ili uenjoy! yani ule gud time na honey wako wa peke yako!

Ndoa si wajibu, its not something that you must have. Ndoa ni zawadi na inatunzwa (every single day!) Its something that you'll love to have. Yani umekichagua na si kwamba NI CHA LAZIMA AMA NI WAJIBU WAKO KUWA NA NDOA!!

Makosa hayataisha kwa binadamu. Binadamu huwa tunang'ang'ania haki 100% huku wajibu ni 55.4574%. Sometimes uwe unakubali tu kuwa imekula kwako

 

[chardams]

Mkuu chardams you have a very valid point. Labda itasaidia akitoa maelezo ya ziada... ila ukimsoma vzr unaona ni mtu anaependa kuona vitu perfect kila wakati, trust me hata kama ni bosi mahali walioko chini yake lazima nao watakua na ishu flani naye hata kama hawamwambii au kumuonesha.

Napenda sana kuangalia vitu from behind the scene...... Nilivyosoma ishu yake nilipata picha flani na ushauri wangu umelenga kwenye attitude yake ya u-perfectionist ambayo pia ameikiri kuwa anayo. Na kwa uzoefu mdogo nilio nao (nimeuelezea kwenye comments zilizofuata) ni nadra sana kuwa perfectionist halafu uweze ku-appreciate machache au mengi aliyo nayo mwingine. you just spot what is wrong, or what needs to be done. Period. yale mazuri na mema unaona kama ni wajibu wake. Sasa ukute ni hivyo na mke wake anajitahidi kila siku kuboresha vile vichache anavyoviweza lakini jamaa akirudi haoni improvement yeyote japo ipo... yye ni kukomaa na kuongeza kero nyingine mkewe arekebishe nayo.

We are all human beings, we need to be appreciated by the little things we do, being appreciated fuels you to do even better. Kukosolewa kila saa kunakuondolea ujasiri, kunakupa woga/kunakupa kutojiamini, uchungu, hasira, kunakunyima furaha, unatamani uwe mbali na huyo mtu maana akiwa karibu tu unalo... n.k

Si unaona mkuu chardams ulivyoanza comment yako? ''Ushauri wano ni mzuri ila.....'' Unaonaje ungeanza kwa kuniponda kwanza?....... wahenga walisema Never criticise before you genuinly praise''

I gree with you on this one Tized; but still there is need to be briefed as to weight both side hence advice him accordingly.

jaxonwaziri, thanks to do so

 

[jaxonwaziri]

Wakuu shukrani kwa mawazo na ushauri wenu. Labda niongeze details kidogo kama alivyoshauri chardams na Tized hapo juu
Sehemu ambazo nimekua siridhishwi na utendaji wake na huwa namueleza:

1.Kwanza ni 'The Ministry of Domestic Affairs' - the way she manages the house, cleanliness, cooking (or cooking supervision if she isnt the one cooking). I happen to be very particular in my tastes. Sio kwamba hafanyi. mfano usafi etc anafanya but nakua kama mwalimu wa zamu, ikitokea anything is less than my expectation kwa alichofanya hata kama alitumia siku nzima I normally says right there.

2. Suala la kuwahi kuamka na kuweka mambo ya nyumbani sawa, be it we are travelling, we are going to church etc. Ni mzito ajabu, na nikijaribu kumuamsha na kumuhimiza anakua very reluctant. na ikitokea mwishowe kakubali kuamka na kushughulika ila tukachelewa ama muda ukafika mambo yakawa hayajakamilika kama ilivyopasa, huwa nakua furious sijapata kuona. hata kama tunakwenda ibadani siku huwa imeharibikia hapo.

3. I like her to look good and appear admirable popote anapokua, she is my wife and there is nothing more that delights me than kusikia mke wangu ana-stand out. So, I do my best kuhakikisha anapata mahitaji ya aina hiyo. Haitoshi tu, bali hata wakati mwingi nahusika kumpangia mavazi hadi viatu ili tu anifurahishe. The matter comes anapokua mwenyewe, she may appear not as per my liking (ilhali najua uwezo wa ku-appear alikua nao na nguo kaziacha nyingi na nzuri ndani). hapo hasira huwaka kama mwendawazimu, na hata kama nisipomuambia right there and then, ila siku hiyo haitaisha nitamkosoa kwa alichokifanya.

4. A wife should be my support, my peace, my comforter ect (thats what I believe and expect). Ila anapokua anahitaji kitu fulani sometimes, anapenda sana ku-rely kwenye 'feelings' i.e what she feels rather than what reasoning is telling her. Mfano, if there happens to be a limited amount of money at hand and we are faced with two options to spend the money, she wont rely on the brain as to which one should be prioritised. She would go for what she feels - and as it turns out it often turns out to be the worst choice. As a result, nimejikuta simshirikishi katika maamuzi muhimu kwakua nitaanzisha zogo ama nitamuumiza kwakua most times nitakua against what she may choose. This itself pia ni tatizo: Kwanini simshirikishi!

5. Unfortunately, both her parents have passed but mine are still alive. Me and her come from very different background (kabila tofauti, makuzi tofauti, mikoa tofauti) Wakati wa msiba wa mmoja wa wazazi wake, me and my parents, siblings kuna maamuzi na maongezi tukawa tunayafanya wakati wa msiba akiwepo. To us it was just normal or felt normal basing on our background but kwake yeye alovyoyachukulia it is like hatukuyapa baadhi ya mambo uzito uliostahiki na maamuzi mengine yalifanyika kama bila heshima hivi (kwa mtizamo wake). Ever since (its more than four years now) hakuna siku tumetofautiana akaacha kutaja hilo jambo! Pia, uhusiano wake na upande wa wakwe zake umedorora sana. Wakati mwingi najikuta katikati kushoto upande mmoja mke wangu, upande mwingine wakwe zake na shemeji zake!trust me, its a position no man wants or wishes to be!

6. I like a God fearing, constant God seeking woman. When we got married, she wasnt so much into God business. Yet what she had was something that could be developed and enhanced to become what I needed. I have tried and I havent stopped to date, anachukulia poa sana. Ushauri wangu ama hitaji langu in this topic to her most of the times halipewi uzito stahiki.

Nikisema hayo tote hapo (1 - 6) and many others, I come up against a massive wall: UNANIONEA. This statement shuts me down completely, hata nguvu ya ku-work out a lasting solution inapotea. I either fly into blind rage or I shut down and burry it deep inside somewhwere.

Naomba niishie hapo kwa sasa, ila nitarudi endapo patahitajika clarification zaidi toka kwangu.

 

[Mjuni Lwambo]

Iko hivi mkuu, wanawake wanapenda kusifiwa, wasiposifiwa hukosa furaha.

Wewe sio tu kwamba humsifii, bali pia unamkosoakosoa, this is too bad!!

Siwezi kabisa kusema kuwa tusikosoe wake zetu, la hasha, wanawake ni lazima tuwakosoe na tuwajenge, lakini je, unatumia approach gani kuwakosoa?!

Kuna namna nyingi za kumkosoa mtu pasipo kumvunja moyo, mojawapo inaitwa triple B.
Yaani Build, Break, Build!

Kwa mfano amepika na chakula kina mapungufu, anza kwa kumsifia kuwa amepika vizuri, chakula umekipenda(unambuild), halafu mwambie kidooogo chumvi ilizidi halafu siku nyingine atie na nazi(unabreak), kisha malizia kwa kumsifia tena, najua mke wangu we ni fundi sana wa kupika( unambuild tena) kwa namna hiyo atarekebisha alipokea na hatajisikia vibaya.

Halafu vitu vingine vidlgovidogo sio lazima useme, kila mtu anamapungufu, hutakiwi kuwa mtu wa kulalamika lalamika mara kwa mara, Tized ameeleza vizuri.

 

[Werrason]

Mkuu kwanza poleni. I know very well what you are going through (believe me). Si kosa lako wala lake, ni kosa lenu...
Labda nikupe a little insight kuhusu sisi.
No, i'll start by telling you about my wife. Ni mwanamke wa pekee(to me), yani huwa sidhani kama nikipewa chance nyingine ya kutafuta mke nitabahatika kiasi hiki. Ana uwezo mkubwa sana wa kushirikiana katika kusolve tabu. Kila gumu tulilopitia tumelisolve pamoja na watu wa nje hawajawahi kuingilia maamuzi yetu.

Yani there is a time ninashindwa kabisa kurekebisha kitu na she does it. Ananiheshimu sana. kuna mengi naweza kuelezea ila tuseme tu namshukuru Mungu kwa mke huyu. However, I tell her sometimes how lucky I am, Ila mara nyingi namchukulia poa. Atajitahidi sana kunifanyia vitu(atapika kama tuna sherehe, ataninunulia vitu, atanipa special care n.k) ili nimpe baraka za sifa lakini either ntajisahau, ntafanya makusudi ama basi tu ntachukulia poa. Na mimi mtu huwa akikosea namuambia hapohapo na hutasikia tena nasema, nasahau. Kiukweli tangazo la waume bora likitolewa na mimi ntaenda (hata kwa kujifichaficha!). Meaning, I am just an average guy doing everything i can for my wife, but i have faults(kwanza nyingi).

Mahali tulipocollide na wife ni hapa. Nikimkosea hasemi anavumilia tu, siku nikimsema akikasirika ataanza kusema things za way back(though kila kitu huwa ni mimi na yeye, mtu wingine haingizwi). Kuna mara tukaanza frustration.

Mimi nikajiangalia kuwa recently akikosea namwambia! akifanya vizuri kuliko kawaida, napotezea hiyo ikapelekea akaanza kujiona a bad wife...Kwa sababu mkuu, hatuko perfect na tunajisikia vibaya tukikosea ila ni zile sifa za wenzetu wakati tunapofanya vizuri ndio hutukumbusha kwamba nasisi ni binadamu wazuri regardless of our weaknesses!
Na hata mtu akikwambia hajali ila bwana opinion ya your significant other ina nguvu sana kwenye your self value.

Na yeye akaja kujua kuwa sipendi aumie kimya kimya akawa ananiambia. Sasa mimi nikikosolewa nakuwa very fine with it. Ila sasa nikikosolewa sana, nakosa muelekeo kwamba, mbona hakuna jema ninalofanya? Sometimes I felt like a useless husband (nasema kweli). Tukaanza kuwa hatusemezani sana. Basi one day akaniambia, "If I was given another chance to look for a husband, I don't know what I will do if I couldn't find you". Huku analia! Dah, that is one of the days that niliinjoy ndoa jamani. NIlijiona booooonge la dume la mbegu. Yani nilitakiwa kwenda kazini jumamosi, kisha kwenda kuwasalimia ndugu fulani na kikao cha harusi, kisha jumapili ibadani kisha twende kwa mama. Hapo ratiba ya mpira hujaweka. I CANCELLED ALL THOSE THINGS.

Nillimpeleka honey wangu Zanzibar tukaenda kuchoma lots of money ambazo hata sikuwaza naweza kuwa mpuuzi kiasi cha kuzitumia, kuanzia saa 12 jioni ijumaa hadi jumatatu na kazini nilichelewa. It was the best time I have ever had!
Dah! ndoa tamu weweeee!!!!

Dah, hadi raha. Heri yako. Hongereni sana. This is it!! Through experience like this we get HOPE.

 

[Raynavero]

poleni sana ongeeni kwanza wawili

 

[Tarime one]

Mi bado sijaoa na sitegemei kuoa ngoja nipite manake ushauri ntakaokupa utaongeza utata tuuu hapo home! Over

So wewe ni jinsia gani?au unategemea kuolewa.

 

[enhance]

uzi mzuri kuna ya kujifunza hapa thanx Tized chardams

 

[GAUTAMA]

So wewe ni jinsia gani?au unategemea kuolewa.

Mkuu, Sasa hivi kuolewa ni Independent Variable, jinsia zote zinaolewa, hali imekua mbaya...

 

[PetCash]

Mkuu, jaxonwaziri;

1. I happen to be very particular in my tastes.

Hutokaa upende kitu asilimia 100 brother. Try kuchukua muda uenjoy wife anavyomanage jiko na usafi. Hata kama ataanza kwa kutokukufurahisha, taratibu akijua anachofanya ni cha muhimu kwako huku ukimpa sifa kwa improvement. Itakapokuja akaanza kuona usafi na chakula chake ni kitu unaenjoy lazima aongeze manjonjo. Kiukweli mimi ni mchaguzi sana wa vyakula. Cha kushangaza (I still wonder) asilimia kubwa ya atakachopika wife nakula. Na hata simkosoi. Na kwenye kula napendwaje? Yani hata nije saa 9 usiku for absolutely no reasonable reason. Kama sijala na hakuna chakula ntaandaliwa, nikimaliza kula ndo niulizwe kulikoni kumjia saa9?

2. Suala la kuwahi kuamka na kuweka mambo ya nyumbani sawa, be it we are travelling, we are going to church etc. Ni mzito ajabu, na nikijaribu kumuamsha na kumuhimiza anakua very reluctant.

Kiukweli a good wife huamka asubuhi akaandaa nyumba yake na familia kwa ajili ya siku. Ila kama yuko hivyo. waweza jaribu kumkumbusha mambo mengine mkaandaa usiku kabla ya kulala (i.e nguo za kunyoosha, usafi wa jikoni, vitu vya safari), Ilia asubuhi kuwe na vichache vya kufanya. Pia uandae kwenda ibada ama safari late kidogo. ILi siku nyingine apate usingizi autakao. Ukijamwamsha mara moja moja ataweza kuvumilia. Likini kiukweli ukikomaa naye kila siku! It will profit you nothing making her life a living hell! Hata si nzuri kwa maisha yako wewe kama mkeo asipokuwa na furaha.

3. The matter comes anapokua mwenyewe, she may appear not as per my liking (ilhali najua uwezo wa ku-appear alikua nao na nguo kaziacha nyingi na nzuri ndani).

Hapa pana shida. Si wote tulio kwenye ndoa hufurahia wenzi wetu wanavyovaa mara zote . Unakuta tu by average machoni kwako anapendeza. Usilazimishe kila saa avae upendavyo kwa sababu kwenye mavazi si kupendeza tu, pia comfort ni muhimu. Will it profit you avae upendavyo na asiwe comfortable? Man Happy Wife Happy Life!

4. anapenda sana ku-rely kwenye 'feelings'

And so are all women! She is normal kabisa. Mungu aliyewaumba hivyo ndiye ajuaye faida za kuwa hivyo. Inawezekana kwa kujudge kwake by feelings ameshafanya maamuzi mengi mazuri ila hujaona tu. Sikatai kuna rational decisions ambapo wewe ndiye unatakiwa kuongoza ila kuna decisions za feelings ambazo only her can see.

5. To us it was just normal or felt normal basing on our background but kwake yeye alovyoyachukulia it is like hatukuyapa baadhi ya mambo uzito uliostahiki.

Kwa kuwa yeye ndiye mfiwa na uchungu wake kulingana na alivyokuwa ameusikia, It wont kill you to ask for forgiveness. Msamaha saa nyingine si kwasababu unaona umekosa. Kwa sababu wewe kuwa right na yeye kuishi na uchungu huo for 4years! ni kuzito kuliko wewe kumuomba msamaha for absolutely nothing you did! Waombee na familia yako. Kuwa kichwa cha nyumba brother ni lazima saa nyingine ukubali kubeba lawama (Ndio uanaume)

6. I like a God fearing, constant God seeking woman.

Only God can make a human to be such. Hapa muombee na Mungu atamsaidia.

Kaka mkubwa, kwanza punguza hasira. Pia kuna vitu vidogo vidogo potezea. Saa nyingine akifanya kosa potezea anaweza akajishtukia akajirekebisha. Just love your wife, make an effort. Kuna siku matunda yake utavuna. Hakuna anayevuna bila kupata shuruba ya kulima na kukuza!

 

[Tarime one]

Mkuu, Sasa hivi kuolewa ni Independent Variable, jinsia zote zinaolewa, hali imekua mbaya...

Hahahahaaaa, very interesting.

 

[Utingo]

pesa imekata au ni nini mkuu?

 

[jaxonwaziri]

Mkuu PetCash shukrani kwa inputs zako.

Nadhani nijipange kuufanyia kazi ushauri wako na wa wadau wengine hapo juu.

Najua wife atapita hapa na kuona mjadala ulivyokua, apate ujumbe pia kua it has not been easy on me.

Weekend njema nyote

 

[katibasitti]

Mkuu PetCash shukrani kwa inputs zako.

Nadhani nijipange kuufanyia kazi ushauri wako na wa wadau wengine hapo juu.

Najua wife atapita hapa na kuona mjadala ulivyokua, apate ujumbe pia kua it has not been easy on me.

Weekend njema nyote

Ndugu yangu, si busara sana kuleta ndoa yako jf badala ya mbele za Mungu au kwa mchungaji wako.

Huyu mama unaemuongelea ninamfahamu sana muda,mimi ni mama mwenzie. Mara ya kwanza kumfahamu miaka iliyopita,alikuwa mwenye afya kweli na mng'ao wa matumaini kama mtu ila nilimshangaa nilivomuona juzi juzi hapo,nilimuuliza ni nini?una matatizo gani? unawaza nini. Tofauti na ulivosema hapa kuhusu God fearness,mimi nilikutana nae kanisa la kiroho misa ya pili kwenye maombi napo alikuwa ametoka ibada ya kwanza akaunga huku maombini. na siku hiyo alisema amelala analia hivo akija kwenye maombi ataondoka mwepesi. Unamwambia na kumfanyia vitu vizito sana na vingine unamlazimisha akubali.

Mambo ya kampani na kuchati na kuona wanawake wengine ndio wa maana acha! Msichana ambae uliflirt nae,ukampa zawadi unadiriki tena na kuanzisha nae biashara afu unalazimisha mwenzio akubali. je ni haki?

Kama uliwahi kuambiwa uoe kabila fulani ukaoa wa kabila lingine,ikatokea hajakubalika kihivyo na ameshaliona hilo hata akienda huko ukweni,je atakuwa huru kwenda huko? mfano " aliambiwa eti unasikiliza nini "acha kufanya masikio kama paka mara ya kwanza tu kwenda? ni neno la kawaida kumwambia mkweo?
kumwamrisha mwenzio afanye matakwa ya wifi au ndugu wakati mkeo huwezi kumfanyia hilo kiujumla ni sawa? Nyumba ni yenu na amri na maamuzi yatoke kwenu.

Mavazi mara nyingi ni yeye anastruggle akupendezee. Ni kujinyima tu. si kweli wewe ndio unashughulika. anakuonesha wewe kama kioo chake kama vile wewe unavyomuonesha akupe opinion yake ukivaa.

Kumwambia utazaa nje upelekee wazazi watoto eti umetumwa na unataka kuwaridhisha , je ni sawa? Huo uperfectionist !!
Unamwambiaje mwenzio mtoto mdogo akakae kwa bibi badala ya mama yake?

Ubalance. inakuwaje unamkataza kwenda kwenye misiba ya upande wa mke?

Hayo ni machache ,mengi nimeyastahi na kuhifadhi toka kwa mama huyo. Ila mengi yako hapo uliyoeleza umejipotray kama mtakatifu usie na mawaa.
Nimeyahifadhi sababu Jf si mahali pake.