Washiriki wa mapenzi ya jinsia moja huko Marekani wameweka historia kuwa waumini wa mwanzo wa R.C kupewa baraka

[Mto Songwe]

Washiriki wa mapenzi ya jinsia moja huko marekani wameweka historia kuwa waumini wa mwanzo wa R.C kupewa baraka kama maagizo ya papa yalivyo agiza kwa viongozi wa kiroho kutekeleza agizo hilo.

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As a married gay Catholic just blessed by a Catholic priest, I welcome the church’s openness​

NEWSVIEWS Jason Steidl Jack / December 21, 2023
Jason Steidl Jack (left) and his husband, Damian Steidl Jack receive a blessing from Outreach editor James Martin, S.J., in Manhattan, December 19, 2023. (James Estrin, courtesy of the New York Times)
My husband Damian and I were blessed by Outreach editor James Martin, S.J., earlier this week. Just a day after the Vatican announced that priests could offer “the gift of blessing that flows from the Heart of Christ through his Church,” we sought out Father Martin, who is a friend, mentor, ally and pastor. The New York Times was there to capture the moment.
On the subway to his Manhattan residence, I read Genesis 32:22-32, the story of Jacob wrestling with a messenger of God. In this tale, Jacob’s struggle lasted through the night. As a gay Catholic, I’ve done my share of wrestling with God and the church. Like Jacob, I carry injuries from the encounter, but I continue the fight. I won’t let go of God until I receive a blessing.
Two years ago, my husband and I were blessed to be married at the Judson Memorial Church, a progressive Protestant community in Manhattan, by a friend who is a Protestant minister. It was a small, Covid-era affair, with only the officiant and a witness present. Later that fall, we celebrated our commitment with a beautiful picnic for friends and family. Our trans friend gave an official blessing, and many of our church friends blessed us by attending.

We belong to the People of God, who have shaped our spiritual journeys and been a channel of God’s grace to us.

Since our wedding, our love for each has continued to grow. Damian and I are blessed with friends, family and community. As we chart our life together, we see God showing up in our daily routines—from the time we wake up in the morning, to prayer, to walks in our neighborhood, to special trips to the botanical gardens, to shared weddings, funerals, holidays and vacations.
God is with us in the daily grind too—when we are tired from too much work and struggle to be less grumpy with each other; when we are already late for dinner and have a hard time being patient with the partner who can never find his chapstick; when we have been wronged and learn how to forgive each other. Our marriage is blessed.
In light of the Vatican announcement, I’ve been reflecting on my desire for a blessing. Our marriage is real and we are already blessed, so what could a priest’s public blessing add to it? Why does it matter?
I think back to our families. When Damian I were married, our parents and siblings celebrated and supported us. Although we were the ones who made the decision to build our lives together, they witnessed it all, and their encouragement continues to give us strength. We are so thankful they are part of our lives.

A formal blessing is a sign of the church’s openness to us and our openness to the church.

The same is true of the Catholic Church. We belong the People of God, who have shaped our spiritual journeys and been a channel of God’s grace to us. Our faith community is central to our shared life, and it’s fitting that the church also be a public part of our relationship. A formal blessing is a sign of the church’s openness to us and our openness to the church.
This is the gift of mutuality in the Christian community and in human relationships, more broadly. Blessings for same-sex unions are powerful signs that same-sex couples share in the same channels of grace that all people enjoy. God gives grace to us, and we are agents of grace to others, both in the church and outside of it. No one is excluded from God’s abundant love.
As we were blessed by Father Martin, we were also aware of how the image would be received around the world. As a married, gay Catholic couple, we hope that our life is an open book to outsiders. Many are unfamiliar with LGBTQ believers. Some queer folks and some traditional Catholics share one thing in common—they don’t believe the church is a good place for LGBTQ folks.

Blessings for same-sex unions are powerful signs that same-sex couples share in the same channels of grace that all people enjoy.

But Damian and I show that it is possible to be a thriving, married, gay Catholic couple. I hope that we can share God’s light with LGBTQ folks who have only experienced darkness in religious spaces, and I believe that our presence in the Catholic Church is helping Catholics be less homophobic. I trust that God is working through our public witness.
Since our blessing, we’ve received a world of support from family, friends and strangers. There has also been plenty of vitriol directed toward us. Thank God, grace doesn’t depend on what others think! My relationship to my husband is a visible sign of God’s work in our lives. Today, the church is learning to see that as well, and the blessing we received is an important step in the church’s work reconciling all people to each other and to God.

Jason Steidl Jack​

Jason Steidl Jack is an assistant teaching professor of religious studies at St. Joseph’s University in Brooklyn, N.Y. He earned a Ph.D. in systematic theology from Fordham University in 2018.
All articles by Jason Steidl Jack
Outreach is part of America Media. To support Outreach you can make a donation or subscribe to America.

Related​

Five commitments the Synod made to the church and what they mean for LGBTQ Catholics
David Palmieri / December 13, 2023
Celebrating gay relationships in the church? What happened in Belgium and why it’s good news.
Jos Moons, S.J. / November 27, 2022
Jesuit priest from Colombia urges church to welcome its LGBTQ members
Jonathan Marín, S.J. / August 12, 2022

Comments​

Our comments policy

1. Eileen Bentsen on December 21, 2023 at 1:11 pm
   Your blessing is a grace and gift to all of us! Thank you for sharing your continued belief. “Blessings for same-sex unions are powerful signs that same-sex couples share in the same channels of grace that all people enjoy.” May you continue to grow in grace and in favor.
   Reply
2. RF on December 21, 2023 at 3:16 pm
   I’m a 62 year old gay man who was raised Catholic. My husband and I have been together for 30 years. I struggle to understand why you would want a blessing from a Church that considers your relationship a sin. The bottom line is that church teachings still state that homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered. The Catholic Church is basically still in “love the sinner, hate the sin” mode. I think a stronger witness for you and your husband would be to leave the Catholic Church for a denomination that recognizes and honors your relationship as something sacred, holy and loving. That sends the message to church leadership that parishioners will continue to leave as long as the church continues to treat LGBTQ people as second citizens and label us as sinners.
   Reply
3. Anne Kiefer on December 21, 2023 at 3:22 pm
   May your lives continue to be filled with grace and support from family and friends, and may your story be a beacon to members of the LGBTQ+ community to light their way to a faith commmunity.
   Reply

Submit a Comment​

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *




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Making History on a Tuesday Morning, With the Church’s Blessing​

A day after the pope’s announcement that Catholic priests may bless same-sex couples, one New York couple receives theirs.

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The Rev. James Martin gives a blessing to Jason Steidl Jack, left, and his husband, Damian Steidl Jack, center, in Manhattan.Credit...James Estrin/The New York Times

By Amy Harmon, Ruth Graham and Sarah Maslin Nir
Ruth Graham writes about faith and religion, and reported from Dallas. Amy Harmon and Sarah Nir reported from New York.
Published Dec. 19, 2023Updated Dec. 21, 2023, 11:11 a.m. ET
As a Jesuit priest for more than two decades, the Rev. James Martin has bestowed thousands of blessings — on rosary beads, on babies, on homes, boats, and meals, on statues of saints, on the sick, on brides and on grooms.
Never before, though, was he permitted to bless a same-sex couple — not until Monday, when the pope said he would allow such blessings, an announcement that reverberated through the church.

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On Tuesday morning, Damian Steidl Jack, 44, and his husband, Jason Steidl Jack, 38, stood before Father Martin in a living room on Manhattan’s West Side. The couple, running a bit late because of subway delays, dressed casually. Damian, a floral designer, complimented Father Martin on the pine smell of the Christmas tree.
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In keeping with the Vatican’s admonition that such a blessing should not be performed with “any clothing, gestures, or words that are proper to a wedding,” Father Martin wore no robes, and read from no text. There is no blessing for same-sex couples in the thick book of blessings published by the U.S. Conference of Bishops. Instead he selected a favorite of his own from the Old Testament.
“May the Lord bless and keep you,” Father Martin began, touching the two men’s shoulders. They bowed their heads slightly, and held hands.
“May the Lord make his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you. May the Lord turn his countenance to you and give you joy and peace.
“And may almighty God bless you,” he said, making the sign of the cross, “the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.”
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And then, with emotion evident on their faces, the three men hugged.

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Damian Steidl Jack, left, and his husband, Jason Steidl Jack, on their wedding day at Judson Memorial Church in the West Village in 2022.

Father Martin is arguably the highest-profile advocate for L.G.B.T.Q. Catholics in America. He has met frequently with Pope Francis about making the Roman Catholic Church more inclusive, and in the fall he participated in a global gathering on the church’s future at the pope’s invitation.

More on the Roman Catholic Church​

• Blessings for Gay Couples: The Vatican said that Pope Francis has allowed priests to bless same-sex couples, his most definitive step yet to make the Roman Catholic Church more welcoming to L.G.B.T.Q. people. The decision caused mixed reactions among American Catholics.
• A High-Profile Case: A Vatican criminal court sentenced Cardinal Giovanni Angelo Becciu, once one of the church’s most powerful officials, to five and a half years in prison for financial crimes.
• Cremation Rules: The Vatican said that Catholic families may ask to preserve “a minimal part of the ashes” of a relative in a place of significance to the deceased, softening a previous mandate that ashes could be kept only in “sacred spaces” like cemeteries.
• Running Out of Patience: Pope Francis, who recently moved against two of his most vocal critics in the United States, seems increasingly focused on settling scores and cleaning house.

On Tuesday morning, he was far from the halls of power. He was at home, making history. Father Martin had waited years for the privilege of saying such a prayer, however simple, out in the open.

“It was really nice,” Father Martin said on Tuesday, “to be able to do that publicly.”
The pope’s decision was greeted as a landmark victory by advocates for gay Catholics, who describe it as a significant gesture of openness and pastoral care, and a reminder that an institution whose age is measured in millenniums can change.
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The decision does not overturn the church’s doctrine that marriage is between a man and a woman. It does not allow priests to perform same-sex marriages. It takes pains to differentiate between the sacrament of marriage — which must take place in a church — and a blessing, which is a more informal, even spontaneous, gesture. And, a priest’s blessing of a same-sex couple should not take place in connection with a civil marriage ceremony, it says.
News of the pope’s decision spread quickly among gay Catholics, many of whom began preparations for blessings of their own after the busy Christmas season.

On the morning of the pope’s announcement, Michael McCabe’s husband, Eric Sherman, ran into his home office in their apartment in Forest Hills, Queens, bursting with news: Their 46-year partnership could at last be blessed.
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“You wait so long for the church to come around, you kind of give up hope,” said Mr. McCabe, 73, who attends Mass every Sunday at the Church of St. Francis Xavier in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan.

Image

Michael McCabe, left, and Eric Sherman at their home in Queens, New York. The two have been together for 46 years, and are looking forward to being blessed by a priest in the new year.Credit...Sarah Blesener for The New York Times

The couple married in 2010 in Connecticut, before same-sex marriages became legal in their home state of New York. They had long been resigned to the church’s stance, even if they had not fully made peace with it, Mr. McCabe said.
“I know that myself and my relationship with my husband are good things,” said Mr. McCabe, who taught catechism to first graders at the church.

Although the pope’s decision stops short of recognizing Mr. McCabe’s marriage, he said he could only find the joy in the news. After rejoicing with his husband on Monday, he emailed his priest. They plan to receive a blessing early in the new year.
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It wasn’t immediately clear how different priests across the country would respond to the pope’s invitation to bless gay couples. The announcement gives individual priests latitude and encouragement to offer the blessings, but does not require them to do so. Gay couples living in more liberal dioceses may be more likely to find a willing priest than those living in conservative dioceses. In Chicago, Cardinal Blase J. Cupich, a close ally of Pope Francis, issued a statement saying that in his archdiocese, “we welcome this declaration, which will help many more in our community feel the closeness and compassion of God.” Many other bishops have remained mum so far. Conservative critics have said the pope’s move essentially encourages priests to bless sin.
“I’m sure many old bishops are open to this, and many young priests will have to be convinced,” said Massimo Faggioli, a professor of theology at Villanova University, noting that young Catholic priests in the United States are overwhelmingly conservative.
In New York City, where a handful of progressive Catholic churches have been on the forefront of welcoming L.G.B.T.Q. parishioners, but have stopped short of marrying them and sanctifying their unions, the news from the Vatican was just as exciting for some priests as it was for their parishioners.
“I say it is about darn time,” said the Rev. Joseph Juracek, pastor of the Church of St. Francis of Assisi in Midtown, who believes the church is finally aligning with Jesus’ teachings: “This is what he is all about: That God is for all people.”
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While many Catholics celebrated the pope’s decision, others felt it was too little, too late. Some L.G.B.T.Q. people who left the church years ago, feeling unwelcome, said it was a half-measure that would not tempt them to return.
Thomas Molina-Duarte, 37, a social worker in Detroit, was an active member of his local Catholic parish for many years. But when he and his husband married, they had to do so in an Episcopal church, and they eventually joined a “home church,” where they gather with a small group to do close readings of texts from the Bible.
“I welcome the news, but it’s not going to make me come back to the church,” Mr. Molina-Duarte said of the pope’s decision. “We’ve found a community of other people that we felt we could bring our full selves to.”
In New York City, Damian and Jason Steidl Jack, who were married last year, had previously discussed the possibility of a blessing with Father Martin, a longtime friend of Jason’s. When Father Martin texted on Monday afternoon and asked if they wanted a blessing, they leaped at the offer.
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“God’s grace is at work in our lives, whether the Vatican issues an announcement or not,” said Jason, an assistant teaching professor of religious studies at St. Joseph’s University in Brooklyn and an advocate for gay Catholics. “But we are eager for the support of our communities and of our pastors who look after us.”

Walking back to the subway from Father Martin’s Jesuit community residence, Jason and Damian said the blessing he had given them felt both ordinary and profound.
“It’s one grace of many,” Jason said. They were a part of history, and they were also on their way to meet Damian’s mother at Walmart to shop for Christmas groceries.
“It’s like you said,” Jason told his husband, “It’s like we’re claiming our space.”
Kirsten Noyes contributed research.
Audio produced by Adrienne Hurst.
Amy Harmon covers how shifting conceptions of gender affect everyday life in the United States. More about Amy Harmon
Ruth Graham is a national reporter, based in Dallas, covering religion, faith and values for The Times. More about Ruth Graham
Sarah Maslin Nir covers breaking news for the Metro section. She was a Pulitzer Prize finalist for her series “Unvarnished,” an investigation into New York City’s nail salon industry that documented the exploitative labor practices and health issues manicurists face. More about Sarah Maslin Nir
A version of this article appears in print on Dec. 20, 2023, Section A, Page 1 of the New York edition with the headline: Gay Catholics Hear History: ‘God Bless You’. Order Reprints | Today’s Paper | Subscribe

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[Mtapenda]

Dini zilizo letwa na majahazi waletaji wenyewe ndio hao hatari sanaa kwa ukuu wa muafrica

 

[Mtapenda]

Ibada waafrica (ibada za mizimu) hazina ukakasi hao wote kitendo cha kupeleka ushoga wao madhabau ya mizimu wangekufa na story yao ikaishia hapo na ikawa fundisho kwa wengine

 

[nzalendo]

Kanisa linaenda wapi ?

Yanatimia.....
Huu ni wakati wa kuachana na mafundisho ya kizungu....

 

[Mto Songwe]

Ibada waafrica (ibada za mizimu) hazina ukakasi hao wote kitendo cha kupeleka ushoga wao madhabau ya mizimu wangekufa na story yao ikaishia hapo na ikawa fundisho kwa wengine

Wanapewa baraka ili wakaendeleze harakati zao. Inashangaza

 

[sportstore]

Kumekucha...watu hawapoi..tamko jana leo watu wamewahi fasta..Huu ni mwanzo tu naona hili suala linakwenda kuvuka zaidi ya kubarikiwa..

 

[The Boss]

Roma ikisema......wapinge sasa tuone

 

[Mto Songwe]

Dini zilizo letwa na majahazi waletaji wenyewe ndio hao hatari sanaa kwa ukuu wa muafrica

Wamaamini wa huku Afrika wajiandae kwa kila namna maana yajayo yanastaajabisha

 

[cocastic]

Wooooooooooowwwwww!!!
Wamependezana wenyewe, afu mbna bottom inaonekana mpolee sana, aaah ananiangusha kidawa wangu, inabidi achachuke kdg had padri apagawee.

Weraaaaaa weraaaaaa!!! 4reverrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

 

[nzalendo]

Washiriki wa mapenzi ya jinsia huko marekani wameweka historia kuwa waumini wa mwanzo wa R.C kupewa baraka kama maagizo ya papa yalivyo agiza kwa viongozi wa kiroho kutekeleza agizo hilo.

View attachment 2849374View attachment 2849375View attachment 2849376

We need your help to continue and expand the Outreach ministry.​

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As a married gay Catholic just blessed by a Catholic priest, I welcome the church’s openness​

NEWSVIEWS Jason Steidl Jack / December 21, 2023
Jason Steidl Jack (left) and his husband, Damian Steidl Jack receive a blessing from Outreach editor James Martin, S.J., in Manhattan, December 19, 2023. (James Estrin, courtesy of the New York Times)
My husband Damian and I were blessed by Outreach editor James Martin, S.J., earlier this week. Just a day after the Vatican announced that priests could offer “the gift of blessing that flows from the Heart of Christ through his Church,” we sought out Father Martin, who is a friend, mentor, ally and pastor. The New York Times was there to capture the moment.
On the subway to his Manhattan residence, I read Genesis 32:22-32, the story of Jacob wrestling with a messenger of God. In this tale, Jacob’s struggle lasted through the night. As a gay Catholic, I’ve done my share of wrestling with God and the church. Like Jacob, I carry injuries from the encounter, but I continue the fight. I won’t let go of God until I receive a blessing.
Two years ago, my husband and I were blessed to be married at the Judson Memorial Church, a progressive Protestant community in Manhattan, by a friend who is a Protestant minister. It was a small, Covid-era affair, with only the officiant and a witness present. Later that fall, we celebrated our commitment with a beautiful picnic for friends and family. Our trans friend gave an official blessing, and many of our church friends blessed us by attending.

Since our wedding, our love for each has continued to grow. Damian and I are blessed with friends, family and community. As we chart our life together, we see God showing up in our daily routines—from the time we wake up in the morning, to prayer, to walks in our neighborhood, to special trips to the botanical gardens, to shared weddings, funerals, holidays and vacations.
God is with us in the daily grind too—when we are tired from too much work and struggle to be less grumpy with each other; when we are already late for dinner and have a hard time being patient with the partner who can never find his chapstick; when we have been wronged and learn how to forgive each other. Our marriage is blessed.
In light of the Vatican announcement, I’ve been reflecting on my desire for a blessing. Our marriage is real and we are already blessed, so what could a priest’s public blessing add to it? Why does it matter?
I think back to our families. When Damian I were married, our parents and siblings celebrated and supported us. Although we were the ones who made the decision to build our lives together, they witnessed it all, and their encouragement continues to give us strength. We are so thankful they are part of our lives.

The same is true of the Catholic Church. We belong the People of God, who have shaped our spiritual journeys and been a channel of God’s grace to us. Our faith community is central to our shared life, and it’s fitting that the church also be a public part of our relationship. A formal blessing is a sign of the church’s openness to us and our openness to the church.
This is the gift of mutuality in the Christian community and in human relationships, more broadly. Blessings for same-sex unions are powerful signs that same-sex couples share in the same channels of grace that all people enjoy. God gives grace to us, and we are agents of grace to others, both in the church and outside of it. No one is excluded from God’s abundant love.
As we were blessed by Father Martin, we were also aware of how the image would be received around the world. As a married, gay Catholic couple, we hope that our life is an open book to outsiders. Many are unfamiliar with LGBTQ believers. Some queer folks and some traditional Catholics share one thing in common—they don’t believe the church is a good place for LGBTQ folks.

But Damian and I show that it is possible to be a thriving, married, gay Catholic couple. I hope that we can share God’s light with LGBTQ folks who have only experienced darkness in religious spaces, and I believe that our presence in the Catholic Church is helping Catholics be less homophobic. I trust that God is working through our public witness.
Since our blessing, we’ve received a world of support from family, friends and strangers. There has also been plenty of vitriol directed toward us. Thank God, grace doesn’t depend on what others think! My relationship to my husband is a visible sign of God’s work in our lives. Today, the church is learning to see that as well, and the blessing we received is an important step in the church’s work reconciling all people to each other and to God.

Jason Steidl Jack​

Jason Steidl Jack is an assistant teaching professor of religious studies at St. Joseph’s University in Brooklyn, N.Y. He earned a Ph.D. in systematic theology from Fordham University in 2018.
All articles by Jason Steidl Jack
Outreach is part of America Media. To support Outreach you can make a donation or subscribe to America.

Related​

Five commitments the Synod made to the church and what they mean for LGBTQ Catholics
David Palmieri / December 13, 2023
Celebrating gay relationships in the church? What happened in Belgium and why it’s good news.
Jos Moons, S.J. / November 27, 2022
Jesuit priest from Colombia urges church to welcome its LGBTQ members
Jonathan Marín, S.J. / August 12, 2022

Comments​

Our comments policy

1. Eileen Bentsen on December 21, 2023 at 1:11 pm
   Your blessing is a grace and gift to all of us! Thank you for sharing your continued belief. “Blessings for same-sex unions are powerful signs that same-sex couples share in the same channels of grace that all people enjoy.” May you continue to grow in grace and in favor.
   Reply
2. RF on December 21, 2023 at 3:16 pm
   I’m a 62 year old gay man who was raised Catholic. My husband and I have been together for 30 years. I struggle to understand why you would want a blessing from a Church that considers your relationship a sin. The bottom line is that church teachings still state that homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered. The Catholic Church is basically still in “love the sinner, hate the sin” mode. I think a stronger witness for you and your husband would be to leave the Catholic Church for a denomination that recognizes and honors your relationship as something sacred, holy and loving. That sends the message to church leadership that parishioners will continue to leave as long as the church continues to treat LGBTQ people as second citizens and label us as sinners.
   Reply
3. Anne Kiefer on December 21, 2023 at 3:22 pm
   May your lives continue to be filled with grace and support from family and friends, and may your story be a beacon to members of the LGBTQ+ community to light their way to a faith commmunity.
   Reply

Submit a Comment​

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *




Submit Comment

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Church of St. Paul the Apostle, New York, N.Y.​

LGBTQ persons have been active in the life of the parish for many years, including during the height of the H.I.V./AIDS epidemic beginning in the 1980s.
See all features

Featured resource​

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ORGANIZATION
Advocacy & resources for LGBTQ people & allies, including lots of coming out guides.
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wanapingana na biblia walawi 18:22

 

[Mto Songwe]

Yanatimia.....
Huu ni wakati wa kuachana na mafundisho ya kizungu....

Christmas hii kwa wakatoliki wa huku Afrika pilau limeingia mchanga

 

[Mto Songwe]

Kumekucha...watu hawapoi..tamko jana leo watu wamewahi fasta..Huu ni mwanzo tu naona hili suala linakwenda kuvuka zaidi ya kubarikiwa..

Mambo yana anza taratibu huko mbele ndio balaa wafuasi wa dini wawe makini

 

[nzalendo]

Kwa sasa ni aibu na fedheha kujiita mkatoliki.

 

[Mto Songwe]

Roma ikisema......wapinge sasa tuone

Papa ni kama mfalme, watu wanasema mfalme hapingwi

 

[cocastic]

Kumekucha...watu hawapoi..tamko jana leo watu wamewahi fasta..Huu ni mwanzo tu naona hili suala linakwenda kuvuka zaidi ya kubarikiwa..

Wachelewe ili iweje? watu wamechoka uchumba sugu, famchezo nn

Kuna watu hapa Bongo, uchumba sugu miaka 8, afu inatokea chance unaacha kuwahiii? Wee acha hizo.

 

[cocastic]

Kwa sasa ni aibu na fedheha kujiita mkatoliki.

Kisa nn?

 

[Mto Songwe]

Kwa sasa ni aibu na fedheha kujiita mkatoliki.

Na kwa njia mitandao imekua kwa kasi kipindi hiki mambo kusambaa ni rahisi sana.

Wakatoliki wa huku Afrika nawaonea huruma wazungu wamekwisha jikatia tamaa

 

[John Wickzer Mulholland]

Kanisa linaenda wapi ?

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Making History on a Tuesday Morning, With the Church’s Blessing​

A day after the pope’s announcement that Catholic priests may bless same-sex couples, one New York couple receives theirs.

• Share full article
• 
  
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The Rev. James Martin gives a blessing to Jason Steidl Jack, left, and his husband, Damian Steidl Jack, center, in Manhattan.Credit...James Estrin/The New York Times

By Amy Harmon, Ruth Graham and Sarah Maslin Nir
Ruth Graham writes about faith and religion, and reported from Dallas. Amy Harmon and Sarah Nir reported from New York.
Published Dec. 19, 2023Updated Dec. 21, 2023, 11:11 a.m. ET
As a Jesuit priest for more than two decades, the Rev. James Martin has bestowed thousands of blessings — on rosary beads, on babies, on homes, boats, and meals, on statues of saints, on the sick, on brides and on grooms.
Never before, though, was he permitted to bless a same-sex couple — not until Monday, when the pope said he would allow such blessings, an announcement that reverberated through the church.

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On Tuesday morning, Damian Steidl Jack, 44, and his husband, Jason Steidl Jack, 38, stood before Father Martin in a living room on Manhattan’s West Side. The couple, running a bit late because of subway delays, dressed casually. Damian, a floral designer, complimented Father Martin on the pine smell of the Christmas tree.
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In keeping with the Vatican’s admonition that such a blessing should not be performed with “any clothing, gestures, or words that are proper to a wedding,” Father Martin wore no robes, and read from no text. There is no blessing for same-sex couples in the thick book of blessings published by the U.S. Conference of Bishops. Instead he selected a favorite of his own from the Old Testament.
“May the Lord bless and keep you,” Father Martin began, touching the two men’s shoulders. They bowed their heads slightly, and held hands.
“May the Lord make his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you. May the Lord turn his countenance to you and give you joy and peace.
“And may almighty God bless you,” he said, making the sign of the cross, “the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.”
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And then, with emotion evident on their faces, the three men hugged.

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Damian Steidl Jack, left, and his husband, Jason Steidl Jack, on their wedding day at Judson Memorial Church in the West Village in 2022.

Father Martin is arguably the highest-profile advocate for L.G.B.T.Q. Catholics in America. He has met frequently with Pope Francis about making the Roman Catholic Church more inclusive, and in the fall he participated in a global gathering on the church’s future at the pope’s invitation.

More on the Roman Catholic Church​

• Blessings for Gay Couples: The Vatican said that Pope Francis has allowed priests to bless same-sex couples, his most definitive step yet to make the Roman Catholic Church more welcoming to L.G.B.T.Q. people. The decision caused mixed reactions among American Catholics.
• A High-Profile Case: A Vatican criminal court sentenced Cardinal Giovanni Angelo Becciu, once one of the church’s most powerful officials, to five and a half years in prison for financial crimes.
• Cremation Rules: The Vatican said that Catholic families may ask to preserve “a minimal part of the ashes” of a relative in a place of significance to the deceased, softening a previous mandate that ashes could be kept only in “sacred spaces” like cemeteries.
• Running Out of Patience: Pope Francis, who recently moved against two of his most vocal critics in the United States, seems increasingly focused on settling scores and cleaning house.

On Tuesday morning, he was far from the halls of power. He was at home, making history. Father Martin had waited years for the privilege of saying such a prayer, however simple, out in the open.

“It was really nice,” Father Martin said on Tuesday, “to be able to do that publicly.”
The pope’s decision was greeted as a landmark victory by advocates for gay Catholics, who describe it as a significant gesture of openness and pastoral care, and a reminder that an institution whose age is measured in millenniums can change.
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The decision does not overturn the church’s doctrine that marriage is between a man and a woman. It does not allow priests to perform same-sex marriages. It takes pains to differentiate between the sacrament of marriage — which must take place in a church — and a blessing, which is a more informal, even spontaneous, gesture. And, a priest’s blessing of a same-sex couple should not take place in connection with a civil marriage ceremony, it says.
News of the pope’s decision spread quickly among gay Catholics, many of whom began preparations for blessings of their own after the busy Christmas season.

On the morning of the pope’s announcement, Michael McCabe’s husband, Eric Sherman, ran into his home office in their apartment in Forest Hills, Queens, bursting with news: Their 46-year partnership could at last be blessed.
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“You wait so long for the church to come around, you kind of give up hope,” said Mr. McCabe, 73, who attends Mass every Sunday at the Church of St. Francis Xavier in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan.

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Michael McCabe, left, and Eric Sherman at their home in Queens, New York. The two have been together for 46 years, and are looking forward to being blessed by a priest in the new year.Credit...Sarah Blesener for The New York Times

The couple married in 2010 in Connecticut, before same-sex marriages became legal in their home state of New York. They had long been resigned to the church’s stance, even if they had not fully made peace with it, Mr. McCabe said.
“I know that myself and my relationship with my husband are good things,” said Mr. McCabe, who taught catechism to first graders at the church.

Although the pope’s decision stops short of recognizing Mr. McCabe’s marriage, he said he could only find the joy in the news. After rejoicing with his husband on Monday, he emailed his priest. They plan to receive a blessing early in the new year.
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It wasn’t immediately clear how different priests across the country would respond to the pope’s invitation to bless gay couples. The announcement gives individual priests latitude and encouragement to offer the blessings, but does not require them to do so. Gay couples living in more liberal dioceses may be more likely to find a willing priest than those living in conservative dioceses. In Chicago, Cardinal Blase J. Cupich, a close ally of Pope Francis, issued a statement saying that in his archdiocese, “we welcome this declaration, which will help many more in our community feel the closeness and compassion of God.” Many other bishops have remained mum so far. Conservative critics have said the pope’s move essentially encourages priests to bless sin.
“I’m sure many old bishops are open to this, and many young priests will have to be convinced,” said Massimo Faggioli, a professor of theology at Villanova University, noting that young Catholic priests in the United States are overwhelmingly conservative.
In New York City, where a handful of progressive Catholic churches have been on the forefront of welcoming L.G.B.T.Q. parishioners, but have stopped short of marrying them and sanctifying their unions, the news from the Vatican was just as exciting for some priests as it was for their parishioners.
“I say it is about darn time,” said the Rev. Joseph Juracek, pastor of the Church of St. Francis of Assisi in Midtown, who believes the church is finally aligning with Jesus’ teachings: “This is what he is all about: That God is for all people.”
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While many Catholics celebrated the pope’s decision, others felt it was too little, too late. Some L.G.B.T.Q. people who left the church years ago, feeling unwelcome, said it was a half-measure that would not tempt them to return.
Thomas Molina-Duarte, 37, a social worker in Detroit, was an active member of his local Catholic parish for many years. But when he and his husband married, they had to do so in an Episcopal church, and they eventually joined a “home church,” where they gather with a small group to do close readings of texts from the Bible.
“I welcome the news, but it’s not going to make me come back to the church,” Mr. Molina-Duarte said of the pope’s decision. “We’ve found a community of other people that we felt we could bring our full selves to.”
In New York City, Damian and Jason Steidl Jack, who were married last year, had previously discussed the possibility of a blessing with Father Martin, a longtime friend of Jason’s. When Father Martin texted on Monday afternoon and asked if they wanted a blessing, they leaped at the offer.
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“God’s grace is at work in our lives, whether the Vatican issues an announcement or not,” said Jason, an assistant teaching professor of religious studies at St. Joseph’s University in Brooklyn and an advocate for gay Catholics. “But we are eager for the support of our communities and of our pastors who look after us.”

Walking back to the subway from Father Martin’s Jesuit community residence, Jason and Damian said the blessing he had given them felt both ordinary and profound.
“It’s one grace of many,” Jason said. They were a part of history, and they were also on their way to meet Damian’s mother at Walmart to shop for Christmas groceries.
“It’s like you said,” Jason told his husband, “It’s like we’re claiming our space.”
Kirsten Noyes contributed research.
Audio produced by Adrienne Hurst.
Amy Harmon covers how shifting conceptions of gender affect everyday life in the United States. More about Amy Harmon
Ruth Graham is a national reporter, based in Dallas, covering religion, faith and values for The Times. More about Ruth Graham
Sarah Maslin Nir covers breaking news for the Metro section. She was a Pulitzer Prize finalist for her series “Unvarnished,” an investigation into New York City’s nail salon industry that documented the exploitative labor practices and health issues manicurists face. More about Sarah Maslin Nir
A version of this article appears in print on Dec. 20, 2023, Section A, Page 1 of the New York edition with the headline: Gay Catholics Hear History: ‘God Bless You’. Order Reprints | Today’s Paper | Subscribe

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The Catholic Church is Dead in Africa if this assertion is true.