Unapotoa ushauri zingatia na hili

[Nyalotsi]

Divorce and loss of the loved one is among the top three causes of psychiatric admission! Hii ni hata tanzania. Mtu anapokuja na topic inayomhusu mpendwa wake sana ambaye kumetokea kutokuelewana tusiwe wepesi wa kushauri hatua ambazo zitamletea matatizo zaidi.

Ni rahisi kumshauri mtu anayesema mwenza wake anamcheat kwamba aachane naye kuliko kumprobe na kujua yeye anachukuliaje tatizo hilo. Watu wengi wanaandika humu kuomba ushauri wa mahusiano yao kwani imekuwa ni sehemu maarufu kwa ushauri mzuri lakini kuna wakati ukisoma ushauri wa baadhi ya watu unajiuliza mara tatu tatu kwa nini mtu huyo kaandika hivyo. Tupo tofauti na zidumu tofauti.

Kuna watu huwa wanashauri kwa sababu wao ndivyo walivyofanya wakisahau kwamba kila mtu ana body na emotional reaction tofauti katika matatizo yanayomkabili. Ni rahisi kumshauri mtu avunje ndoa badala ya kumshauri apambane na mapungufu yaliyopo na kumuomba Mungu amsaidie wakati wa matatizo na amshindie matatizo hayo.

Ni rahisi kusema navunja ndoa lakini kwa mtu mwenye watoto, wafikirie wanao, wewe na mwenzio pia. Fikiria wanao watachukuliaje wakijua, wataathirika vipi kisaikolojia na maisha yao na wenzao yatakuwaje? Ile mtoto kusikia mwenzake akimwambia my dad/mum has done this to me na yeye akifikiria home kulivyo ni trauma kubwa sana. Inaweza msababishia kuwa na matatizo ya akili ya watoto.

Ni ushauri tu ndugu zangu msinirushie moving objects!!

 

[BADILI TABIA]

asante kwa kutukumbusha, ni kweli tupu.....

 

[akenajo]

Hesabu ya ndoa is one plus one = one

 

[Husninyo]

Ila unajua wengi wanaoomba ushauri wanakuwa tayari wana maamuzi yao ila wanahofu kuyafanya. Acha washauriwe tofauti tofauti maana mwisho wa siku wataamua wenyewe.

 

[Nemo]

Nyalotsi
WHat is the point of ushauri kama si objective? Kusema mshauri awe ana hold back their true opinion on a matter so as to spare mshauriwa a psychotic breakdown, pain or hurt to me servers nothing but rather renders huo ushauri useless.

PS😛ersonally I'd rather hear the truth,however ugly it maybe kuliko kupewa false comfort and/or hopes.

 

[HorsePower]

Divorce and loss of the loved one is among the top three causes of psychiatric admission! Hii ni hata tanzania. Mtu anapokuja na topic inayomhusu mpendwa wake sana ambaye kumetokea kutokuelewana tusiwe wepesi wa kushauri hatua ambazo zitamletea matatizo zaidi. Ni rahisi kumshauri mtu anayesema mwenza wake anamcheat kwamba aachane naye kuliko kumprobe na kujua yeye anachukuliaje tatizo hilo. Watu wengi wanaandika humu kuomba ushauri wa mahusiano yao kwani imekuwa ni sehemu maarufu kwa ushauri mzuri lakini kuna wakati ukisoma ushauri wa baadhi ya watu unajiuliza mara tatu tatu kwa nini mtu huyo kaandika hivyo. Tupo tofauti na zidumu tofauti. Kuna watu huwa wanashauri kwa sababu wao ndivyo walivyofanya wakisahau kwamba kila mtu ana body na emotional reaction tofauti katika matatizo yanayomkabili. Ni rahisi kumshauri mtu avunje ndoa badala ya kumshauri apambane na mapungufu yaliyopo na kumuomba Mungu amsaidie wakati wa matatizo na amshindie matatizo hayo. Ni rahisi kusema navunja ndoa lakini kwa mtu mwenye watoto, wafikirie wanao, wewe na mwenzio pia. Fikiria wanao watachukuliaje wakijua, wataathirika vipi kisaikolojia na maisha yao na wenzao yatakuwaje? Ile mtoto kusikia mwenzake akimwambia my dad/mum has done this to me na yeye akifikiria home kulivyo ni trauma kubwa sana. Inaweza msababishia kuwa na matatizo ya akili ya watoto. Ni ushauri tu ndugu zangu msinirushie moving objects!!

Hili nalo neno ....

 

[HoneyBee]

Opinions kwenye public forum zitakuwa nyingi sana huwezi kusema kwamba usishauri hili, sema hili. Hakuna anaefahamu relationship kati ya watu wawili zaidi ya hao wawili walio kwenye hiyo relationship. We do not know the full story. There are 2 sides to every story. Inawezekana kuna details ameacha kutaja ili aonekana hana makosa yoyote kwenye ndoa, na mwenzake ndie mkorofi. Kama mwenzangu alivyosema hapo chini, wengine wameshafanya maamuzi wanataka wapime waone kama kweli they are making the right choice.

Kwa kweli ushauri wa "vumilia, funga na kumuomba mungu" I find is more harmful in cases of infidelity, sexual abuse, or any other form of abuse. Kuna walokole au wacha mungu wengi wanaoambukizwa magonjwa au kutwangwa mpaka wanakaribia kifo. Mungu ametupa akili tuzitumie. Mnaweza mkatengana lakini msitalikiane. Kutengana ni kuonesha kwamba mambo hayaendi sawa na inabidi muyashughulike la sivyo familia itasambaratika. Think of it as a yellow card. Bora watoto waone wazazi wakiwa na furaha na amani separately, kuliko ugomvi usioisha nyumbani.

Divorce and loss of the loved one is among the top three causes of psychiatric admission! Hii ni hata tanzania. Mtu anapokuja na topic inayomhusu mpendwa wake sana ambaye kumetokea kutokuelewana tusiwe wepesi wa kushauri hatua ambazo zitamletea matatizo zaidi. Ni rahisi kumshauri mtu anayesema mwenza wake anamcheat kwamba aachane naye kuliko kumprobe na kujua yeye anachukuliaje tatizo hilo. Watu wengi wanaandika humu kuomba ushauri wa mahusiano yao kwani imekuwa ni sehemu maarufu kwa ushauri mzuri lakini kuna wakati ukisoma ushauri wa baadhi ya watu unajiuliza mara tatu tatu kwa nini mtu huyo kaandika hivyo. Tupo tofauti na zidumu tofauti. Kuna watu huwa wanashauri kwa sababu wao ndivyo walivyofanya wakisahau kwamba kila mtu ana body na emotional reaction tofauti katika matatizo yanayomkabili. Ni rahisi kumshauri mtu avunje ndoa badala ya kumshauri apambane na mapungufu yaliyopo na kumuomba Mungu amsaidie wakati wa matatizo na amshindie matatizo hayo. Ni rahisi kusema navunja ndoa lakini kwa mtu mwenye watoto, wafikirie wanao, wewe na mwenzio pia. Fikiria wanao watachukuliaje wakijua, wataathirika vipi kisaikolojia na maisha yao na wenzao yatakuwaje? Ile mtoto kusikia mwenzake akimwambia my dad/mum has done this to me na yeye akifikiria home kulivyo ni trauma kubwa sana. Inaweza msababishia kuwa na matatizo ya akili ya watoto. Ni ushauri tu ndugu zangu msinirushie moving objects!!

 

[Nyalotsi]

Ila unajua wengi wanaoomba ushauri wanakuwa tayari wana maamuzi yao ila wanahofu kuyafanya. Acha washauriwe tofauti tofauti maana mwisho wa siku wataamua wenyewe.

kuna mwingine anakuwa na maamuzi hayo kwa sababu ya hasira. Huyu mkimpa ushauri wa kukaa chini na kujitafakari atachagua njia nzuri.

 

[Nyalotsi]

Nyalotsi
WHat is the point of ushauri kama si objective? Kusema mshauri awe ana hold back their true opinion on a matter so as to spare mshauriwa a psychotic breakdown, pain or hurt to me servers nothing but rather renders huo ushauri useless.

PS😛ersonally I'd rather hear the truth,however ugly it maybe kuliko kupewa false comfort and/or hopes.

kwa hiyo kwako wewe ukweli wa ushauri kuhusu mume wako anayecheat ni kukuambia uvunje ndoa? Kumbuka kuna watu anakiri kabisa kumpenda sana mumewe, na tunakuwa tumepata stori ya upande mmoja. The truth ni yeye anayeujua hivyo akishauriwa vizuri atakaa chini na kutafakari mapungufu ya pande zote mbili. Assume mtu anakwambia mumewe anaendeshwa na ndugu zake hivyo anataka ajitenge!!

 

[Nemo]

kwa hiyo kwako wewe ukweli wa ushauri kuhusu mume wako anayecheat ni kukuambia uvunje ndoa? Kumbuka kuna watu anakiri kabisa kumpenda sana mumewe, na tunakuwa tumepata stori ya upande mmoja. The truth ni yeye anayeujua hivyo akishauriwa vizuri atakaa chini na kutafakari mapungufu ya pande zote mbili. Assume mtu anakwambia mumewe anaendeshwa na ndugu zake hivyo anataka ajitenge!!

Nyalotsi

Two things:
1. To me ushauri is how I mshauri, would have best handled the situation if facing the same scenario. It is there to give mwenye matatizo a different perspective, na siyo to absolve her or him responsibility yake ya kutafakari na Kufanya Maamuzi Sahihi

2. As mshauri it is not my duty to ensure that mshauriwa has presented the situation truthfully and unskewed. Jamani this is her/his issue and not mine who else can better relay it if not yeye??Kwa hiyo because my opionion as mshauri is solely based on what's infront me, kama mshauri amebadilisha habari ili aonekane mwema au ajivutie kwake,I am afraid that by itself may render what said unhelpful if not useless


PS: Ushauri wangu kwa mume anayecheat is, beware kuna Magonjwa! When you are lying sick on the bed or six feet
under love wont ................................, so wise up my fried!

 

[bornagain]

JF sometime ni kama mdahalo flani kwa hiyo kuna sehemu ya watu wanaokubaliana na wasiokubaliana na suala flani kwa hiyo cha msingi hapa ni mleta maada kuchambua points za msaada na kuzichukua na zile ambazo si za msaada anaachana nazo

 

[Tetra]

::
Nadhani signature ya Invisible FICHA UPUMBAVU WAKO USIFICHE HEKIMA YAKO
ni dedication njema kabisa kwa kila mwana Jf.
Tukumbushane tu na ni vema unapopokea ushauri uwe unachuja si kila unaloambiwa hapa ulitumie..
=