Punguza Matarijio, utaepuka Kunung'unika!

sun wu

JF-Expert Member
Apr 1, 2012
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Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed

Mara nyingi maumivu au depression inawafika wengi wenye matarijio makubwa, (hata kwenye urafiki na mahusiano).

Kwanini utegemee kupata wakati kukosa pia kupo; utegemee mtu wakati watu wana mapungufu.

Nadhani usipotegemea kupata, ukipata inakuwa ni Bonus.., na ukitendwa utasamehe, hata usiposamehe ukifanyiwa Jema utashukuru zaidi sababu hukutegemea.

Sisemi don't trust people, lakini imperfections is what makes us perfect.
 

Bilionea Asigwa

JF-Expert Member
Sep 21, 2011
16,375
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"As A man thnketh in his heart SO HE IZ".............
"AOGOPALO MTU MWOVU NDILO HUMJIA"...Proverbs
 

kichwaones

JF-Expert Member
Oct 13, 2012
399
0
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed

Mara nyingi maumivu au depression inawafika wengi wenye matarijio makubwa, (hata kwenye urafiki na mahusiano).

Kwanini utegemee kupata wakati kukosa pia kupo; utegemee mtu wakati watu wana mapungufu.

Nadhani usipotegemea kupata, ukipata inakuwa ni Bonus.., na ukitendwa utasamehe, hata usiposamehe ukifanyiwa Jema utashukuru zaidi sababu hukutegemea.

Sisemi don't trust people, lakini imperfections is what makes us perfect.

kama kuna kaukweli flani hivi!
 

sun wu

JF-Expert Member
Apr 1, 2012
2,020
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"As A man thnketh in his heart SO HE IZ".............
"AOGOPALO MTU MWOVU NDILO HUMJIA"...Proverbs

kwahio ukitegemea utapata, na usipotegemea hautapata ?

unajua hapa sisemi kutokutegemea mafanikio, bali kumbuka kuna kutokufanikiwa, na unapodeal na watu fahamu unaweza kuwa let down
 

Gaijin

JF-Expert Member
Aug 21, 2007
11,817
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It is almost impossible kutotegemea kupata katika mambo uliyowekeza nguvu, muda, mali kwa sababu msingi wa kuwekeza huko ni kupata sio kucheza pata potea
 

sun wu

JF-Expert Member
Apr 1, 2012
2,020
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It is almost impossible kutotegemea kupata katika mambo uliyowekeza nguvu, muda, mali kwa sababu msingi wa kuwekeza huko ni kupata sio kucheza pata potea

Nadhani kwenye mambo ya biashara, kuwekeza n.k. (expect the unexpected hence having plan B) iwapo ulichotaka hakitatokea..

Kwa binadamu, expect disappointments sababu one thing for certain people always let you down (ukifahamu hilo basi siku ikitokea hautashangaa, na utakuwa mwepesi kusamehe). Na unapotenda wema nenda zako usingoje wala kutegemea kurudishiwa

Kwenye mahusiano ndio kabisa.., ukiweka viwango vya juu sana au ukitegemea mtu akurudishie mema, au akupe kitu fulani unaweza ukawamtu wa kulalama kwenye nyumba kila siku
 

Mbu

JF-Expert Member
Jan 11, 2007
12,749
2,000
....Big Up! Nice article

Ndio maana kuna kauli "hamna mkamilifu!"....weye unataka spouse wako awe 100% mkamilifu,
wakati wewe mwenyewe kitendo cha kumtakia hayo tayari ushajionyesha udhaifu wako!


Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed

Mara nyingi maumivu au depression inawafika wengi wenye matarijio makubwa, (hata kwenye urafiki na mahusiano).

Kwanini utegemee kupata wakati kukosa pia kupo; utegemee mtu wakati watu wana mapungufu.

Nadhani usipotegemea kupata, ukipata inakuwa ni Bonus.., na ukitendwa utasamehe, hata usiposamehe ukifanyiwa Jema utashukuru zaidi sababu hukutegemea.

Sisemi don't trust people, lakini imperfections is what makes us perfect.
 

Gaijin

JF-Expert Member
Aug 21, 2007
11,817
0
Nadhani kwenye mambo ya biashara, kuwekeza n.k. (expect the unexpected hence having plan B) iwapo ulichotaka hakitatokea..

Kwa binadamu, expect disappointments sababu one thing for certain people always let you down (ukifahamu hilo basi siku ikitokea hautashangaa, na utakuwa mwepesi kusamehe). Na unapotenda wema nenda zako usingoje wala kutegemea kurudishiwa

Kwenye mahusiano ndio kabisa.., ukiweka viwango vya juu sana au ukitegemea mtu akurudishie mema, au akupe kitu fulani unaweza ukawamtu wa kulalama kwenye nyumba kila siku

Having a plan B haimaanishi kuwa hukutarajia kupata.

Na hata kwa binaadamu waliokaribu na sisi, tunawekeza hisia, muda, na hata mapato kwa wale tuwapendao, kwa hiyo kutarajia na wewe utapata ni kawaida sana.

Huwezi mtu ukaanza mahusiano na mtu kwa mfano, ukawa ushaweka na Plan B

Labda tujifunze njia ya ku-move on usipopata, ila kusema mtu asitarajie kupata ni ngumu mno

Binafsi siwezi
 

Bujibuji Simba Nyanaume

JF-Expert Member
Feb 4, 2009
63,872
2,000
sun wu hakika hili ni neno la uzima
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed

Mara nyingi maumivu au depression inawafika wengi wenye matarijio makubwa, (hata kwenye urafiki na mahusiano).

Kwanini utegemee kupata wakati kukosa pia kupo; utegemee mtu wakati watu wana mapungufu.

Nadhani usipotegemea kupata, ukipata inakuwa ni Bonus.., na ukitendwa utasamehe, hata usiposamehe ukifanyiwa Jema utashukuru zaidi sababu hukutegemea.

Sisemi don't trust people, lakini imperfections is what makes us perfect.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Binti Magufuli

JF-Expert Member
Apr 2, 2011
7,480
2,000
kweli over expectation inaleteleza dissapointment ya ajabu, ishi kama business as ussual uone kama utakuwa disappointed,
 

sun wu

JF-Expert Member
Apr 1, 2012
2,020
0
Having a plan B haimaanishi kuwa hukutarajia kupata.
Kweli kabisa ila kuna wengine wanawekeza 100% kwamba haiwezekani kabisa kukosa hivyo siku wakikosa linakuwa pigo kubwa

Na hata kwa binaadamu waliokaribu na sisi, tunawekeza hisia, muda, na hata mapato kwa wale tuwapendao, kwa hiyo kutarajia na wewe utapata ni kawaida sana.
Kweli pia ila kuna tofauti unapotegemea kabisa kwamba fulani hawezi kunisaliti, au mwanangu hawezi kuiba, au fulani hawezi kunidhulumu au kunidanganya. Lakini ukitegemea kwamba ni kawaida ya binadamu kudanganya, kudhulumu na kusaliti nadhani haitakuja kama a shock.., ofcourse utaumia sababu hata ukijua sehemu fulani kuna miba utavaa viatu ingawa kama mwiba ni mkubwa sana bado utapenya lakini itakuwa afadhali kuliko ungekwenda peku

Huwezi mtu ukaanza mahusiano na mtu kwa mfano, ukawa ushaweka na Plan B

Labda tujifunze njia ya ku-move on usipopata, ila kusema mtu asitarajie kupata ni ngumu mno

Binafsi siwezi

Ni kweli kwenye mahusiano plan B au exit strategy itakuwa a step too far ila kuna vile vimakosa vya mfano uongo, white lies ambazo najua kwa binadamu ni kawaida (hata akifanya sio kwamba hanipendi).., kwahio I will cherish the moment nikijua kwamba kesho linaweza likatokea lolote, By the way nitatoa pendo langu kwake/kwao sababu ninawapenda naturally hata kama wasiponipenda wao.., au nikitoa zawadi nitatoa sababu napenda kutoa sio kwamba ili nao waje wanipe.., (refer kuna story watu walimsomesha mtu wakitegemea labda kwa wema wao hawataachwa) ila wangesomesha kwa kusomesha tu na sio kutegemea ujira wa mapenzi au appreciation nadhani wasingeumia sana
 

ERoni

JF-Expert Member
Jan 9, 2013
30,842
2,000
Utaishije na mtu bila kuwa na mategemeo fulani, there are expectations whenever u decide to be with someone, kinachotakiwa(nadhani) ni kutoweka 100% hope kwa sababu binadamu tunadisappoint sana.

Love is give and take, so if you give obviously you have expectations..TO TAKE!


Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed

Mara nyingi maumivu au depression inawafika wengi wenye matarijio makubwa, (hata kwenye urafiki na mahusiano).

Kwanini utegemee kupata wakati kukosa pia kupo; utegemee mtu wakati watu wana mapungufu.

Nadhani usipotegemea kupata, ukipata inakuwa ni Bonus.., na ukitendwa utasamehe, hata usiposamehe ukifanyiwa Jema utashukuru zaidi sababu hukutegemea.

Sisemi don't trust people, lakini imperfections is what makes us perfect.
 

sun wu

JF-Expert Member
Apr 1, 2012
2,020
0
Utaishije na mtu bila kuwa na mategemeo fulani, there are expectations whenever u decide to be with someone, kinachotakiwa(nadhani) ni kutoweka 100% hope kwa sababu binadamu tunadisappoint sana.
Sijasema usitegemee kitu, bali punguza matarajio.., (lower your expectations) ofcourse nikipenda mtu nategemea kitu fulani (the good feeling inside) na kila ninapokuwa nae companionship yake ni furaha.., ila haimaanishi kwamba kesho hawezi kunikwaza au kuniumiza (intentionally au unintentionally), I expect and I know ninaishi na binadamu sio malaika (kumbuka people let even themselves down, ije kuwa mtu mwingine ?)


Love is give and take, so if you give obviously you have expectations..TO TAKE!
Actually you have got it wrong.., Love is to Give not to Receive.., Give and Take hio ni business you give in order to take sio giving because giving makes you happy (even if you don't receive)
 

ERoni

JF-Expert Member
Jan 9, 2013
30,842
2,000
Sijasema usitegemee kitu, bali punguza matarajio.., (lower your expectations) ofcourse nikipenda mtu nategemea kitu fulani (the good feeling inside) na kila ninapokuwa nae companionship yake ni furaha.., ila haimaanishi kwamba kesho hawezi kunikwaza au kuniumiza (intentionally au unintentionally), I expect and I know ninaishi na binadamu sio malaika (kumbuka people let even themselves down, ije kuwa mtu mwingine ?)



Actually you have got it wrong.., Love is to Give not to Receive.., Give and Take hio ni business you give in order to take sio giving because giving makes you happy (even if you don't receive)

Man, i don't think it's so easy to be with someone and lower expectations, when you give affection to someone it's obvious that you expect the same, and if it happens that you are treated differently, you won't be happy.At the end of the day conflicts begin. Mtu anayependa kwa dhati( achilia mapenzi tulitonayo ya pesa na nini) anafurahi kupendwa pia, asipopendwa anaanza kuwa na wasiwasi na mpenzi wake.

Perhaps i got it wrong but as far as i understand, when we give(in love) WE EXPECT SOMETHING IN RETURN...IF WE DON'T GET/RECEIVE IT...OH, YOU AND I KNOW WHAT'S NEXT
 

sun wu

JF-Expert Member
Apr 1, 2012
2,020
0
Man, i don't think it's so easy to be with someone and lower expectations, when you give affection to someone it's obvious that you expect the same, and if it happens that you are treated differently, you won't be happy.At the end of the day conflicts begin. Mtu anayependa kwa dhati( achilia mapenzi tulitonayo ya pesa na nini) anafurahi kupendwa pia, asipopendwa anaanza kuwa na wasiwasi na mpenzi wake.

Perhaps i got it wrong but as far as i understand, when we give(in love) WE EXPECT SOMETHING IN RETURN...IF WE DON'T GET/RECEIVE IT...OH, YOU AND I KNOW WHAT'S NEXT

Labda ngoja nikupe mfano kidogo from different angle; lets say unae mtoto ambaye hajiwezi mgonjwa (mtindio wa ubongo) unajua kabisa hawezi akakupa kitu mbeleni, wala hawezi akajisaidia huko mbeleni (tegemezi kwako..) unadhani wewe kama mzazi utaacha kumpenda ?, Na zaidi ya kupenda well being yake unadhani hapo utakuwa una-expect anything in return ?

Tofauti na ukiwa na mtoto ambae ana kipaji sana yaani kijiji kizima wanamtegemea na unao uhakika kwamba atakuja kuwa raisi au mtu wa kusaidia watu pamoja na wewe.., mwisho wa siku akiwa mlevi na tapeli maumivu yake yatakuwaje ?

Tukirudi kwenye mahusiano ya kawaida ukikubali kwamba mwenza wako ni binadamu na anakosea makosa ya kawaida (ubinadamu) huoni kwamba siku akikukosea itakuwa rahisi kumsamehe kuliko ungedhani hawezi kukukosea sababu utamuona kama msaliti.., By the way sio kwamba wanaotupenda huwa hawatukosei na wakitukosea sio kwamba hawatupendi

The Ones we Love the Most.., are the Ones we Hurt More
 

King'asti

JF-Expert Member
Nov 26, 2009
27,809
2,000
Ukweli mtupu. The best way to deal with anyone as predict their next disappointment. Tegemea disappointment, na ikishafika basi jiandae for the next. Ndo maana wengine tukiwa disappointed, we laugh at the offender. Becoz we saw it coming, lol.
Afu kuna useless mmoja kidogo angenikera. Ngoja nikalipulize kwanza.
 

Wi-Fi

JF-Expert Member
Aug 30, 2011
2,083
2,000
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed

Mara nyingi maumivu au depression inawafika wengi wenye matarijio makubwa, (hata kwenye urafiki na mahusiano).

Kwanini utegemee kupata wakati kukosa pia kupo; utegemee mtu wakati watu wana mapungufu.

Nadhani usipotegemea kupata, ukipata inakuwa ni Bonus.., na ukitendwa utasamehe, hata usiposamehe ukifanyiwa Jema utashukuru zaidi sababu hukutegemea.

Sisemi don’t trust people, lakini imperfections is what makes us perfect.

Wi-Fi and 7 guests likes this.
 

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