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Oldie-10 Commandments of Marriage

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Mpita Njia, Mar 5, 2011.

  1. Mpita Njia

    Mpita Njia JF-Expert Member

    Mar 5, 2011
    Joined: Mar 3, 2008
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    Commandment 1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again are thunder and lightning.

    Commandment 2. If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

    Commandment 3. Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

    Commandment 4. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

    Commandment 5. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

    Commandment 6. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

    Commandment 7. Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

    Commandment 8. Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

    Commandment 9. Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.

    Commandment 10. A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished..

    Bonus Commandment story. A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

    The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
  2. Matti

    Matti Member

    Mar 5, 2011
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    hiyo ya 3, 100% applicable mtaani kwetu.
  3. Nicksixyo

    Nicksixyo JF-Expert Member

    Mar 5, 2011
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    Nimekubali kwakweli maneno mazito na ni ya muhimu kwa kila atakaye kuwa katika ndoa..My take::Wanandoa wengi wanajisahaua na kuchukulia ndoa kama mazoea,baadae inapoanza kuyumba wanashindwa kujua ni wapiwalikosea,na ni namna gani warekebishe...Hapo ndipo kilio huanza.

    MAMMAMIA JF-Expert Member

    Mar 6, 2011
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    Commandment 8. Every man wants a wife who is 1.beautiful, 2. understanding, 3. economical, and 4. a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

    Hapa waislamu wamelamba dume.
  5. a

    atieno Senior Member

    Mar 6, 2011
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    ya 4 nayo inafuata