I, the penis,
hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
THE RESPONSE:
Dear Penis, After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
The Management
hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
- I do physical labor
- I work at great depths
- I plunge head first into everything I do
- I do not get weekends off or public holidays
- I work in a damp environment
- I don't get paid overtime
- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
- My work exposes me to contagious diseases
- I work in high temperatures
THE RESPONSE:
Dear Penis, After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
- You do not work 8 hours straight
- You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
- You do not always follow the orders of the management team
- You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
- You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
- You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
- You'll retire well before reaching 65
- You're unable to work double shifts
- You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work
- And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
The Management
