Naombeni ushauri

Penny said:
Alianza kadalili kakunyemelea mgongo. Nikamwambia kama anataka bibi yake afufuke kaburini asubutu kujaribu rudia tena! and he apologised it was then over.
Click to expand...

Kama unampenda na unataka kunusuru ndoa yako, mfungulie banda la uani tu manake ashaonyesha dalili kuwa interest yake ndipo ilipo!

You dont know his behaviours,
You dont even know if really loves you,
He is divorced with two kids,
Has got zero romance,
Less active in sex, choka mbaya always!
Not open to you, muongomuongo

.....AND THE SHOCKING THING IS- YOU STILL WANT TO BE WITH HIM DADA,
UTAKUWA UMELOGWA COZ IT NEVER GET WORSE THAN THIS!

There is no light at the end of the tunnel here, hata hiyo tigo ukiamua kumpa- 'kishipa' chake kinaweza kikagoma kuamka bado, bora uangalie ustaraabu mwingine, take it as a lesson and there's no doubt you've learned it from the best, goodluck.

Kana-Ka-Nsungu
JF SENIOR SEXPERT.
 

Thank you alot for your advice.
 
Lazy dog thanks for your comments but this one really worked fine:-

Umefikiria kunufaika vipi hapo? Kwa nini usifanye kinyume chake, ukifika uwachangamkie waalikwa katika mazungumzo. Show that you enjoy having conversation with them. Laugh when they make jokes.

The party was good, very Man in the party was like admiring me and some dared to even approach me wanting me to give them my tel. No. and asking for a date. This has made me have confidence with my self now. Thanks alot for your advice and everyone else in the Forum.
 



You're not serious, are you?!!




.
 
Lazy dog I am damly serious, and this happened because he was not sitting with me at the same table! because this is what he does when we go out. So I found my self being accompanied by other people whereby the majority ones were men.
 
lazydog said:
I wish you all the best Penny!



.
Click to expand...

Thank you very much for your help yani. Maana nadhani ningelianza ongea mwenye kwenye mababara. God bless you so much.
 

Sasa Penny mbona jibu naona unalo siku nyingi, huyu jamaa ana matatizo ya erectile dysfunction, na pengine anajisikia unaihendo vibaya, unakuwa judgemental kama vile ni makosa yake kuwa hakutoshelezi. Nadhani katika hali kama hiyo mwanaume atajisikia very low, na ataona ili apate amani ni bora asifanye kabisa hilo tendo maana kila anapofanya inaishia kwa yeye kupata embarrassment. Na ukimuuliza lazima atadai amechoka, kazi nyingi, kumbe anakwepa kuadhirika! Hebu jaribu kumchukulia taratibu nendeni hata hospitali mkatafute msaada, taratibu lakini usifanye kama unamshinikiza utamsababishia depression bure! Pia inawezekana ndiyo sababu iliyomfanya kuachana na mke wa awali, maana ulisema mke huyo aikuwa anatoka na mabwana wengine, pengine ni kwa sababu ya kukosa huduma ya kutosha kutoka kwa mumewe huyo, yeye akatumia njia ya mkato ya kutafuta bwana mwingine. Nenda nae polepole, kumbe basi shida ndiyo hii. Polepole usijitafutie kashfa, maana unavyoongea ni kama mwanamke mwenye heshima zako nyingi, usikubali kujiadhiri.
 
Thanks Kithuku, kama umefatilia hii mada toka mwanzo nadhani ungeielewa vizuri zaidi. Swala sio kwamba najitafutia kashfa au kijiadhiri. Ni kwamba nampenda na ningependa nimtulize na depression aliyoipata hapo awali na ex-wife. Ila yeye anaonekana kujifanya kuonyesha kiburi na kutojali. Ndo maana nilikuja hapa kuomba msaada kwenu kiungwana zaidi badala ya kuanza kwenda mahospitalini au makanisani. Au nimekosea kaka?
 

Yaani hujakosea chochote kuja hapa, naomba unielewe tu vizuri. Nilipotamka kujiadhiri au kujipa kashfa nilikuwa narejea mwanamke aliyetangulia ambae badala ya kutumia njia ya busara kama unavyofanya sasa, aliamua kutembea na wanaume wengine, hiyo ndiyo kujiadhiri na kashfa ninazokusihi usikubali kuingia.

Unajua tatizo la kupungukiwa nguvu za kiume huwa linamletea mwanaume inferiority mbele ya mwanamke, ambapo wanaume wengi wana-react kwa kuwa defensive and arrogant, na kutafuta escape routes kama hizo za kudai kachoka nk. Wakati mwingine anaweza kukutegea ufanye kosa very serious, au kudai mambo ambayo kamwe anajua huwezi ukubali ili iwe kisingizio kuwa wewe ndiwe mwenye matatizo na si yeye. Hebu jaribu kumfanya ajisikie kwamba yeye si mnyonge anayesaidiwa, bali ni ninyi pamoja mnataka kuimarisha maisha yenu ya unyumba, halafu mtajikuta mnakubaliana mkakati wa kufuata kama ni kwenda hospitali kutafuta dawa ama ni kujaribu hizo za kienyeji nk, lakini bado ninaamini kwa kuwa bado ni muda mfupi tu umeishi na huyo bwana, bado nafasi ya suluhisho muafaka ipo.
 
Asante sana kaka,

Ningependa sana kama ungeweza kunipa styles za kuongea naye. Maana may be naweza nikawa nimdhaifu katika hilo. asante kwa hilo.
 
Penny said:
Asante sana kaka,

Ningependa sana kama ungeweza kunipa styles za kuongea naye. Maana may be naweza nikawa nimdhaifu katika hilo. asante kwa hilo.
Click to expand...

Anza hivi, kwanza muelewe huyo jamaa, kwa tatizo lake hilo tayari anajisikia inferior, na hiyo inferiority complex inamfanya ajitutumue kwa hizo arrogance. Jibu la hali hii ni wewe kuanza kuwa humble, mwoneshe kuwa yeye ndiyo mwenye nguvu hapo nyumbani, listen to him, na hata mnapotofautiana jambo, mwoneshe kana kwamba akifuata unachotaka wewe atakuwa anakufanyia huruma na sio kwamba umemshinda kwenye hoja. Yaani jishushe sana tu. Gradually atakuwa tayari kushiriki kwenye hiyo process ya kumponya hali yake hiyo. Tatizo likishaisha au hata yeye mwenyewe akishaweza kuli-control bila kukuathiri, basi gradually utaanza ku-introduce preferences zako, na nina uhakika zitakubaliwa tu.
 

Ok brother nimekuelewa vizuri na asante sana. Nitajitahidi sana maelekezo yako yote.
 
Penny....Mimi nafikiri mumeo alikuwa "on the rebound"....in other words....alioa bila kufikiria kwasababu alikuwa anataka kuziba lile pengo aloloachwa nalo na pia alitaka kumwonyesha ex-wife kwamba......"He still got it"....halafu baadae akaona kwamba he did it (marriage) and now it's too late to back down.
So....my advice to you young lady....If you don't have any children with him....don't waste your time and get Blood Pressure for nothing....life is too short...."Move on"....."Kick him to the Curb".
 
Dada,
Nadhani unampenda huyo mumeo kwa dhati,
Please jaribu pia kutokutangaza matatizo yenu, upweke wako, frustrations zako kwa watu wowote hasa ambao unadhani wanaweza wasiongee naye diplomatically.
Ukiwaambia watu itamfanya aone vigumu zaidi kurudi na kuwasiliana wewe na yeye kama awali, kwani atajua kuwa mambo yako nje na itamuongezea complex yake.

muombe mungu kama wewe ni muumini, atakupa njia,
jitoe kwake kwa mapendo, kumbuka uzuri wake, wema wake na kila unapojitokeza uweke moyoni utakuliwaza zaidi kuliko kufikiria zaidi weakness zake ambazo zinakuchanganya.
mjulishe kila jema analokufania ajue unamthamini.
Punguza mahitaji/madai/demands kwake, ongeza kumtimizia anachotaka kwa moyo.
Huwa tunasema mumeo ni first born wako, mfanye kama mwanao umpende bila ajizi, umsamehe.
Utapata amani na amani hiyo utamuambukiza inaweza kumponya bila hata kuzungumzia hiyo hot topic.
Just love him unconditionally,
Mara nyingi sisi wanawake tunategea mambo ya ajabu sana kutoka kwa wanaume, 99% yao hawawezi kutupatia. Usione wenzio huko pembeni, kama si hili basi ni lile, kama wewe ilivyo binadamu na mapungufu yako na yeye pia ni binadamu na mapungufu yake.
 
Da Penny, pole wee, tena pole sana!!! Ingawa ndoa zote zina mawaa na makwazo, lakini yako kali! Ni kama wote mliparamia treni kwa mbele!!!

Naona hapa kila mwana JF amejaribu kutoa ushauri wake!!! And most of what has been advised, wewe umeshamfanyia huyo mumeo kwa namna moja ama nyingine!!! Wataka ushauriwe nini tena Penny lover!?!
Nenda kwa Kakobe!!! Au basi nenda 'Pangani'!!! (if you know what i mean here)Ni juu yako kuchagua!!!

PLEASE, JUST LET IT GO!!! DO NOT BE AFRAID, LET IT GO!!!

You are only 30, utapata mume mzuri (ingawa hatakuwa as perfect as you want as we are never perfect) Presha ya nini binti, maisha yenyewe haya ni presha tayari! Kutafuta pesa - presha, watoto -presha, misosi - presha, magonjwa - presha, starehe - presha!!! Mume naye akupe presha!?!

Huyo mumeo haku'do' vizuri kiunyumba = meaning you will always have bad moods from being unsatisfied (au nadanganya jamani...?)
Halafu hataki tafuta ufumbuzi wa matatizo yake = meaning atajali vipi matatizo na complaints zako. Think about it!!!

Kwa ufupi, nguli wako ana majeraha moyoni!
majeraha hayawezi pona kwa kuziba pengo kwa kuoa tena!
Majeraha hayawezi pona kama hatakubali kuwa ana majeraha!
Majaraha hayawezi pona kama hatakubali therapy!

Nakutakia ufumbuzi mwema wa tatizo-juu-ya-tatizo lako!
 
Asanteni wote kwa maoni yenu na mbarikiwe.
 
mmh,Hapo Kazi ipo Jitaidi uangalie pande zote nikimaanisha na wewe, may be kuna vitu pia unafanya vinamkwaza huyo Husband' and always mtu akianza kutokuwa muwazi kuna mambo ambayo sio mazuri anafanya ambapo ukiwa mtulivu na ukafuatilia kwa undani utaelewa tatizo likowapi coz hawa wanaume sometimes wanamambo yao vilevile unaweza kukuta alikuwa anampenda sana mke wake wa mwanzo na amemkumbuka si unajua mavi ya kale Hayanukii"""""""
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar Discussions

Menu
Log in
Register
Cookies are required to use this site. You must accept them to continue using the site. Learn more…