My husband cheated on me, and has a 3-year-old daughter?

[R.B]

Hello, I get very emotional with this, but my husband has cheated on me, and now has a 3-year-old daughter, his girlfriend has told him I will tell your mom if you ever dared to leave me and your daughter, and he doesn't want his mom to know, not to get into problems with her.

Two years ago, on a Thursday, this woman came to my house with the little girl and told me and my kids about everything, and he was there while we were talking, I wasn't really shocked because I was expecting something like that due to my husband's weird actions during that time.

Anyway the only reason I staid with him was because of my kids, I didn't want them to get upset because we were indeed a happy family, so I just decided not to talk to my husband.

A few months later things were back the same, but I had suspicious that he was still talking to her, I didn't make a big deal of it because I wasn't sure.

Now six days ago, he went to Arusha to do some work, while he was there I was looking at his girlfriend's Whatsapp picture and it was their daughter at the Arusha - Bus station, I got really mad, but I was like, maybe its a coincidence, so it fine, but then I opened his email (he doesn't know that I know the password) and I saw a booking with her name to Arusha (she doesn't live there) and a hotel booking with both their names, I got really mad, that was only two hours before he came back, then I told him about what I know and of course he started lying and lying and lying till I was completely fed up with it.

Anyway I haven't talked to him since five days, and I didn't sleep in our bedroom.

Now last night he came home with a 44 thousand Rolex that he bought for me! It was really beautiful and I felt sorry for him, he wants to get things back on track, I said thank you, then I went up and started crying, he made me confused, his cheating and actions show me that he doesn't care, but the look on his eyes says something else.

So last night I still didn't sleep in our bedroom, and I feel guilty, what do you think I should do? Should I forgive him??

Although I know that this thing is endless!! Sorry for the much talk.

 

[KipimaPembe]

The cheating will never end. The problem is not you. The problem is him. His problems are not related to you. They are his own and nothing you can do to solve his problems. If you can live with this shade of cheating around you, forgive him and live on. But if you cannot live with the cheating, just move on. He will not stop cheating because you don't like him to cheat (you are not the reason he is cheating in the first place). He may stop when his internal problems are over, but they may not be temporary problems, but rather a permanent weakness in him.

 

[Zero One Two]

Ungetumia kiswahili.

 

[Eiyer]

Kati ya sababu mbovu sana na inayowaharibu wanawake wengi ni kukaa kwenye ndoa inayomuumiza eti kwa sababu ya watoto
"
Nani amekuambia watakua upset?
"
Huku ni kutokujiamini,wewe hujiamini na hujui kuwa unajihatarishia maisha yako na wanao
"
Mtu umemuona hamaanishi kuomba radhi halafu unatuuliza kama umsamehe.Umelogwa?Nini kinakuweka hapo?Don't tell me is your kids coz ni sababu ya hovyo kabisa
"
Kila siku nasema hapa,huna haja ya kukaa na mv asiekuheshimu
"
Kitendo cha mtu kuvua nguo hovyo dharau kubwa na hii ni ishara ya kutokukuheshimu,tusidanganyane anaekupenda hawezi kuitoa haki yako kwa mtu mwingine
"
Halafu mtu mwenyewe wala hajali,dada hebu acha ujinga,kwani dushelele yake ni tamu sana?
"
Ila huyo jamaa nae ni wa hovyo sana!

 

[King’asti]

You say you didnt leave him because you are such a happy family. This stoning (kununiana) you think doesnt affect your kids? You still think of yourselves as a happy family while you dont share the bedroom at times? And still you hope your kids dont get to notice? He gets a booking for his mistress and the baby to gateaway to arusha (ingekuwa singida labda nisingemind hivi, Arushaone anaelewa), and still you think you are a happy family becoz of the rolex watch?

Yougot a lot of thinking to do babe, and a lot to decisions to make. Pole sana.

 

[zakiyah]

forgive him one day he will get tired on those bad manners and come back to u remember you are his wife. so please talk with him in a very very good way concerning his manners very politely tell him side effects of those manners one day he will change because he is a human being not a stone. pray to GOD and advice him politely pleasee!!! do not use harsh words when you are talking to him.Now days marriage is like a professional job so you must work hard in order to preserve your job. GOD bless u AMEEN!!!!

 

[Sumu]

Kama dushe lake halina tofauti na madushe mengine, mimi nafikiri huu ni wakati muafaka wa wewe kukimbia mbio za Usain Bolt ili uweze kuyaokoa maisha yako.

Sent from my BlackBerry 9300 using JamiiForums

 

[karembo]

Poor punctuation, spelling mistakes, poor tenses, poor grammar.....next time use Swahili. We'll get you much better.

Otherwise, pole.

 

[Tayana-wog]

Kati ya sababu mbovu sana na inayowaharibu wanawake wengi ni kukaa kwenye ndoa inayomuumiza eti kwa sababu ya watoto
"
Nani amekuambia watakua upset?
"
Huku ni kutokujiamini,wewe hujiamini na hujui kuwa unajihatarishia maisha yako na wanao
"
Mtu umemuona hamaanishi kuomba radhi halafu unatuuliza kama umsamehe.Umelogwa?Nini kinakuweka hapo?Don't tell me is your kids coz ni sababu ya hovyo kabisa
"
Kila siku nasema hapa,huna haja ya kukaa na mv asiekuheshimu
"
Kitendo cha mtu kuvua nguo hovyo dharau kubwa na hii ni ishara ya kutokukuheshimu,tusidanganyane anaekupenda hawezi kuitoa haki yako kwa mtu mwingine
"
Halafu mtu mwenyewe wala hajali,dada hebu acha ujinga,kwani dushelele yake ni tamu sana?
"
Ila huyo jamaa nae ni wa hovyo sana!

Si ndo hapo ambapo hata mi huwa nasema wadada tuna matatizo!!...eti watt,kwani wangapi wanalea watt wenyw vzr 2?......aah,wadada tubadirike bana

 

[Tayana-wog]

Poor punctuation, spelling mistakes, poor tenses, poor grammar.....next time use Swahili. We'll get you much better.

Otherwise, pole.

Ha haaaaa,heri mi cjasema!ila dah!

 

[Kongosho]

usimwamshe aliyelala

mwache aendelee ku-think +vely

You say you didnt leave him because you are such a happy family. This stoning (kununiana) you think doesnt affect your kids? You still think of yourselves as a happy family while you dont share the bedroom at times? And still you hope your kids dont get to notice? He gets a booking for his mistress and the baby to gateaway to arusha (ingekuwa singida labda nisingemind hivi, Arushaone anaelewa), and still you think you are a happy family becoz of the rolex watch?

Yougot a lot of thinking to do babe, and a lot to decisions to make. Pole sana.

 

[King’asti]

Na huyo mume ana warranty ya miaka mingapi na Mungu? Akifa mnazikwa wote na watoto? Watoto is just an excuse.

Si ndo hapo ambapo hata mi huwa nasema wadada tuna matatizo!!...eti watt,kwani wangapi wanalea watt wenyw vzr 2?......aah,wadada tubadirike bana

 

[Nicole]

dah!!!! this is serious.............

 

[Eiyer]

Si ndo hapo ambapo hata mi huwa nasema wadada tuna matatizo!!...eti watt,kwani wangapi wanalea watt wenyw vzr 2?......aah,wadada tubadirike bana

Wanawake mtaisha kwa ujinga huu!

 

[GOOGLE]

Pole sana dada!
Lkn ucjali dawa ya moto moto!
Naomba na ww uzae na mm Google ni Pm tufunge deal!

[h=1][/h] Hello, I get very emotional with this, but my husband has cheated on me, and now has a 3-year-old daughter, his girlfriend has tells him I will tell your mom if you lk.

 

[Lukolo]

Dada, uamuzi unao mwenyewe huu ushauri wa humu JF, unaweza kukujenga au kukuharibia zaidi. Fikiria afya yako, maana hujui huyo nyumba ndogo kama ni mwaminifu kwa mmeo tu or not, lakini pia fikiria watoto. Mtu asikudanganye, kuna tofauti kubwa sana kati ya watoto waliolelewa na mzazi mmoja na wale wa wazazi wawili.

Na zaidi ya yote kumbuka kwamba mkiachana inaweza kutokea kwamba baba akataka kubaki na watoto wake, na wakalazimika kulelewa na mama wa kambo. Au hata wewe unaweza kuja kushawishika kuolewa na mme mwingine na watoto wako wakalelewa na baba wa kambo ambaye kwa hakika hujui atakuwa ni mkarimu kiasi gani kwa watoto wako. Angalia Mkanda wa suicide mission. Pengine utajua ni kwa kiasi gani kutengana kwa wazazi kunavyoweza kuathiri watoto, na mkajikuta mna watoto machokoraa!

Muombe Mungu sana ambadilishe mmeo, na zaidi ya yote, omba Mungu awajalie afya njema. Wanaosema usijali suala la watoto inawezekana hawajui ukweli juu ya athari ya watoto kulelewa na single parenti au mzazi wa kambo. Kwa maana ya kwamba whether watoto watabaki na wewe au na mmeo, bado kuna uwezekano kwamba mmojawapo kati yenu akaamua kuoa au kuolewa tena. Sasa katika mazingira hayo fate ya watoto ni lazima ifikiriwe. Nimeona wanandoa wengi wanaoishi nyumba moja lakini hawalali kitanda kimoja, nia ikiwa ni kulinda mustakabali wa watoto.

 

[HorsePower]

Ndg zangu, kwa familia inayoishi maisha ya ndoa yenye furaha wanajua ugumu uliopo wa kuvunja mahusiano mara matatizo yanapojitokeza kama haya. Hatujui huyu dada ni kwa kiasi gani anamtegemea huyo Mume na pengine bado anafikiria maisha atakayoishi yeye na wanawe baada ya kuvunja ndoa. Pia staili ya uandishi inaonyesha kuwa dada huyu bado ana mapenzi na imani kubwa kwa mumewe pamoja na yote yaliyo-mkuta. Na zaidi ya hapo, dada anaonekana bado anaweza kuvumilia kuiokoa familia yake kuparaganyika.

Kwa kuwa huyo mumewe anaonekana alikuwa na huyo kimada kwa zaidi ya miaka mitatu (maana ana binti wa miaka 3), nafikiri ni bora wajaribu kukaa mezani na kuyazungumza kupata suluhu na mumewe na pengine kuwa tayari kuyakubali matokeo (ukweli mchungu) kuwa tayari wako wake wawili endapo mumewe atagoma kumtaliki kimada wake au laa ajaribu kuanza maisha yake na kauchana naye huyo mwanaume.

Bado maamuzi tunamwachia mwenye ndoa yake maana dunia ni yake na chaguo pia ni lake!

 

[Lukolo]

Na huyo mume ana warranty ya miaka mingapi na Mungu? Akifa mnazikwa wote na watoto? Watoto is just an excuse.

there is a very big difference kati ya kufa na kuachana. Maana mkiachana ule wivu na kununiana kunaendelea kuwepo, na mara nyingi huwa wazazi wanajikuta wakilalamikia mahusiano yao mbele hata ya watoto, ikiwemo kuwaambia watoto ama usiende kwa babako au kwa mamako nk. Psychological effect ya hili huwa ni kubwa sana kwenye makuuzi ya watoto. Ni bora mama akawa ni single parent tangu mwanzo kuliko kuolewa halafu ukaachika. Nina mifano ya ndo nyingi sana ambazo watoto wameishia kuwa machokoraa tu, ilihali wazazi wao wana maisha mazuri kabisa.

 

[Kishili Benjamin]

Wana jamii forum mpo?nawapenda nyote hasa kwa ushauri mnaomshauri huyo mdada!yeye n mtu mzima tena aliyekomaa kiakili,mwenye uzoevu kimaisha. Ushauri umetosha. Lililobaki ni Maandiko yanena vipi kw jambo hili?

 

[Likwanda]

Ungetumia kiswahili.

Wengi tungeelewa.