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Misconceptions about food

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Asprin, Sep 4, 2009.

  1. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

    Sep 4, 2009
    Joined: Mar 8, 2008
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    Pay attention!!


    Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is
    this true?

    A : Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...
    don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.
    Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's
    like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it
    faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


    Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

    A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies.. What does a cow eat?
    Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is
    nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering
    vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also
    a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork
    chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of
    vegetable products.


    Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

    A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled
    wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so
    you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made
    out of grain. Bottoms up!


    Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

    A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one
    to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


    Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

    A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in
    vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could
    getting more vegetables be bad for you?


    Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

    A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!!
    It's the best feel-good food around!


    Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

    A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


    Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

    A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

  2. Ndumbayeye

    Ndumbayeye JF-Expert Member

    Sep 4, 2009
    Joined: Jan 31, 2009
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    kichwa kinauma!!