Bab u hivi tangu lini nimegeuka DADA???Just curious...maana I didn't get the memo!
BTT....
Namwelewa Mbu kwamba yeye watoto wake comes first...ni muhimu zaidi..ana wathamini zaidi. Na iwapo akahitajika kuchagua kati ya mama na watoto atachagua watoto. Swala la mapenzi bado siamini kwamba unaweza kulinganisha kati ya watoto na mwenzi...unachoweza kulinganisha ni umuhimu wao/thamani yao kwako na mengine kama hayo.Ila mapenzi ya mzazi kwa mtoto/mtoto kwa mzazi/ mzazi na mwenzi/mtoto na mwenzi hayalinganishiki.
Na hii inatokana na kwamba watoto ni sehemu ya wewe...hata ufanye nini hawawezi kuacha kua watoto wako...hata wawe vipi bado wataendelea kua watoto wako. Ila mke/mume anaweza kuacha kua wakwako wakati wowote ule.Iwe unampenda au humpendi!!!
Nimei-print hii na kuitengenezea frame na kui-hang ukutani hapa ofisiniKusema ukweli babu ukisoma vizuri ule mdahalo wa kwanza utaona kuwa tulikuwa tunazungumzia vitu tofauti. Watoto wanayo nafasi yao kama watoto na huwezi kuwalinganisha/judge kwa vigezo vya spourse. Katu hatuwezisema mapenzi yako kwa mke/mume ni zaidi kuliko kwa watoto au mapenzi yako kwa watoto ni zaidi ya kwa mke/mume kwani utakuwa unalinganisha aina tofauti za upendo.
Nilikuwa tu najaribu kuwaza kwa nguvu na ni mara nyingi tunasikia wanawake wakilaumiiwa kuwa wakishapata watoto huhamishia mapenzi kwa watoto na kuwasahau wababa hali inayopelekea wababa kuseek other camps kwa ajili ya fidia. The same applies kwa wamama. Unapokutana na mtu ambaye mistakenly anachanganya upendo wa watoto na ule anaopaswa kumpa spouse wake ni wazi mahusiano yatakuwa na mushkeli na katu, nasema katu hutoeleweka iwapo utamweleza mwenzio LIVE and ON A SERIOUS NOTE kuwa unawapenda watoto zaidi ya unavyompenda yeye au ukamwonyesha kwa matendo asiumie (hata kama hatokuonyesha kuwa ameumia).
Wanawake wengi tunajinyima haki zetu, wengi tukishapata watoto na Mr akawa anawajali sana watoto kuliko anavyokujali wewe mama, tunatend kuridhika kuwa .......ah lakini anawajali watoto, anahakikisha wanakula, wanakwenda shule nzuri, analipa ada , inatosha hata kama kwangu hanionyeshi mapenzi naridhika. This is WRONG. Wewe kama mke unayo haki yako kupendwa, kujaliwa na kufurahishwa. Sio usubstitute upendo wako kwa kuwa anawapenda watoto. Sijui lakini I just feel kuwa its not right na wala hatutokuwa tunatumia scale sahihi kulinganisha watoto na spouses wetu.
Hivi tulishajiuliza utajisikiaje inapotokea Mke ambaye anao watoto wake (hukuzaa naye) halafu akakupa na ku7kuonyesha live kuwa anawapenda wanae zaidi ya anavyokupenda wewe kama spouse wake? Will you be comfortable with that? I think confessions nyingine ni bora zikaungamiwa tumboni kwa kweli. Its a damage in the relationship.
Ni mtazamo wangu tu huu, and not under the influence of any alcohol.
Ewaaaaaaaaa! Umeniwahi! Nlitaka kuchokoza hii kitu aisee! Manake nikimwona mama yangu saa hizi kabakia na mmewe, siye wanae huku tuko busy na familia zetu.lizzy pamoja na yote naamini huwa kuna chapa tayari anakuwa ameiacha kwenye maisha yako na kila ukiangalia wanao kuna kivuli kinakuja kwanza ambacho ni baba wa wanao... Huwa inakuaje pale watoto wanapokuwa wakubwa na miji yao bado huwa wanaendelea kuwa wa kwanza kuliko wenzi wetu
Yaaaani Darling Shem this thread as much as it is a serious matter.... It has cracked me up in a really happy way.... (of coz nitaiprint na kupeleka sehemu husika ili mwenzangu afurahi...)
Back to Topic.... Mie nimewaelewa kabisa Mbu na MTM... Simply because sio kwamba wote walooana/walowahi oana walikua ni a perfect couple... One thing i know from MTM's admittance ni kwamba he appreciates his wife saana thou his above statement says as much as he appreciates her the love is not as great as kwa watoto wake (mayb sabb tu ya kua realistic kua the wife can mchangia, hivo the love not a guarantee...)
kwa mheshimiwa Moskwito from his admittance hapa jamvini ni kwamba alibwaga manyanga... Thus the children love to him and vice versa has always been constant rather than the wife...
Shem hata wewe nimekuelewa kabisa... Nafikiri hili limenifurahisha mimi na hata MJ1... Maana wanawake wote love having such a husband katika huo msimamo. Na bliv me you msimamo wako ndio msimamo wa wanaume wengi... Wanaume walo wengi akimpenda saana mwanamke hupenda na watoto wake pamoja.... Sometimes hata watoto ambao hajazaa nae... Na akimchukia mkewe hadi akamuacha hasa kama kamuacha kwa ajili ya nyumba ndogo... Hapo hadi watoto wanatelekezwa... Hivo shem am proud of you endelea kuongeza upendo kwa Mama Matesha...
Kwa upande wangu mwanamke i think you will understand nikisema watoto 1st... I have carried them for nine months... Thou ajabu ni kua love i feel for baba yao is the one which makes me feel like a true woman...
Nilitaka niweke na mie kamsimamo kangu kule lakini nikaona hili linahitaji mjadala unaojitegemea.
Kwangu mie wife comes first kwa kuwa:
1. Nilimpenda yeye hata kabla hatujapata watoto
2. Tusingejaliwa kupata mtoto nisingekuwa na option, angebakia kuwa yeye
3. Yeye ndiye aliyenizalia hao watoto ambao wengine ndo wanasema "wanawapenda zaidi ya mama zao
4. Ndiye chaguo langu la ukweli, sina uhakika kama hao watoto ni damu yangu kiukweli
5. Ndiye msaada wangu mkuu napokuwa matatizoni, nikiugua anavyo nihangaikia, nyie acheni tu!
6. Nikirudi nimepiga maulabu yangu, ananifungulia mlango na kunitengea chakula bila kinyongo
7. Anahakikisha niko nadhifu,
8. Napokuwa nimechacha ananielewa na kunivumilia
9. Alikubali kwa hiyari yake kuyapiga kibuti midume yooooote iliyokuwa inamsarandia akaja kwangu tena kwa kiapo kuishi nami katika shida na raha mpaka Ziraili atakapoamua kufanya vitu vyake.
Msimamo wangu:
Raha kwa watoto ni kuwaona wazazi wakipendana na kisha wao wazazi kwa pamoja kuwapenda watoto.
Baada ya kusema hayo naomba kusikia na wengine wanasemaje.
Niko kitandani huku, nawaangalia tu.
Onyo: Hairuhusiwi kuchakachua.
Refarii wa Sredi: PAW.
Kajukuu hapa tunaongelea Mmeo uliyezaa naye Watoto Wako!...........Please!
Let me put like this: Inapotokea mmeo na mwanao (wa kuzaa na mmeo) lets say wanaumwa na wote wanahitaji kuwekewa figo. Utajitolea figo lako moja kwa nani?
Kusema ukweli babu ukisoma vizuri ule mdahalo wa kwanza utaona kuwa tulikuwa tunazungumzia vitu tofauti. Watoto wanayo nafasi yao kama watoto na huwezi kuwalinganisha/judge kwa vigezo vya spourse. Katu hatuwezisema mapenzi yako kwa mke/mume ni zaidi kuliko kwa watoto au mapenzi yako kwa watoto ni zaidi ya kwa mke/mume kwani utakuwa unalinganisha aina tofauti za upendo.
l.
Fo most men japo ukiwauliza watakwambia ni kids in real sense ni wife ana come first; for women kids come first then husband.
Nasema hivi kwa kuwa nina mifano lukuki ambayo inaonyesha wababa wengi wakimchukia mke wanachukia na watoto; penzi kwa watoto linatokana na penzi la baba kwa mama.
Nakubali kuwa si wote; wapo wanaume wachache makini ambao hata awe na penzi kwingine watoto wake ni number one ila ni wachache sana.
Chauro,They are not equal my friend..........hayo ni mojawapo ya matunda mnayobarikiwa kwenye upendo/ndoa yenu na siku zote upendo wa mke/mume hauwezi linganishwa na wa watoto.
Mume/mke pamoja na mapenzi tuliyo nayo kwa watoto wanatakiwa kuendelea kuwa wa kwanza kwenye maisha yetu leo nisingejivuna na wale malaika wangu kama sio ile mbegu nzuri niliyotoa kwa baba yao ..........hapa kuna mengi ya kuandika nafikiri tunachanganya taste of time vs upendo
niulize tu mtoto anaweza kuwa na taste of time?MJI nisaidie kwenye hili
Chauro,upendo haubagui,kwamaana halisi ya upendo ni kuwa hakuna aliezaidi ya mwingine,labda kwa tafsiri potofu ya upendo!
Na mimi nimelikemea kuwa its not right! Ni kujinyima haki yako kama mke! Wababa wengine wanakukaripia, unalalamika nini, kwani situnzi watoto?! Watoto ni watoto, mke ni mke kila mtu anayo haki yake unayotakiwa kumtimizia the same applies kwa mwanamke..... hakuna eti oh nampenda sana mwanangu kuliko baba yake no way bana.........unless sasa tuingize vigezo vingine ndani ya hii linear equestionnaomba nikupinge kidogo iyo ni imani tuliojiwekea nafikiri MJ1 amegusia mahali ati baba/mama akipenda watoto na kufanya kila kitu in real sense anampenda mkewe mie nakataa mpaka mwisho ukiona umefika level maisha yako yanakuwa influenced zaid na watoto na priorities kwako ni wao lazima some perc ya mapenzi yatakuwa yamepungua kama si kupotea kabisa na kuna mambo mengi utakuwa unampunja mwenza wako bila kujua au kujua
Kwangu mimi spouse comes first before kid. Swala la kizushi kwa wababa,ikitokea wife wako yuko labor na something happens and you as the hubby/dad unatakiwa uchague kuokoa maisha ya mmoja,who wil u save?wife au kid?
naomba nikupinge kidogo iyo ni imani tuliojiwekea nafikiri MJ1 amegusia mahali ati baba/mama akipenda watoto na kufanya kila kitu in real sense anampenda mkewe mie nakataa mpaka mwisho ukiona umefika level maisha yako yanakuwa influenced zaid na watoto na priorities kwako ni wao lazima some perc ya mapenzi yatakuwa yamepungua kama si kupotea kabisa na kuna mambo mengi utakuwa unampunja mwenza wako bila kujua au kujua
hv wanaume wanagawaje malove yao
wife?%
nyumba ndogo%?
Makid%? Hapo tena anagawa maana watoto wa kike hawawezi kupendwa sawa na wakiume.
Babu unajua wife/spouse lazima wawe trunk na watoto ni branches, kwa maneno mengine kwa lugha ya malkia wa Uingereza ni kwamba parents should be the center of the family and always work together. Unfortunately sometimes one parent is an idiot and then, as a parent you must protect your child
The biggest mistake i see in some few mothers.
Kuna wamama wanaweka uhusiano wao na watoto wao ahead kuliko uhusiano wake na mume wake.
Kuna tatizo gani kwenye hili
1. Two married people are one flesh. A parent and a child don't have that relationship
2. To exalt the child over your spouse is to teach your child the spouse is not important
3. Children learn early if they can pit against the other
Haya huwa sio makosa ya mama
1. Sometimes a dad is elusive and stays in the background on purpose, hataki kujishugulisha na kujihusisha na watoto
2. Sometimes the in-laws interfere heavily with a mother and father God's given right to raise their own children
3. And yes, sometimes mothers express more love and attention to the kids than to dad
The Bible is clear on how husbands and wives are to be considered the male and the female side of the same person. One flesh. One unit. That's why the devil didn't touch Job's wife. She was part of him and God said for the devil not to kill Job, therefore he couldn't kill his wife, either.
Umekwepa swali ehhh??Hahahaha......mshiki bana. Haya na huyu hapa MTM.
Kwa wanangu, nothing comes before them, i can take bullets...
Huoni huyu naye anataka kutueleza jinsi anavyowapenda wanae kuliko mkewe? Hivi imefikia hatua ya "nothing comes before our kids?" Kwamba mama tupa kule, watoto leta hapa?
Kajukuu hapa tunaongelea Mmeo uliyezaa naye Watoto Wako!...........Please!
Let me put like this: Inapotokea mmeo na mwanao (wa kuzaa na mmeo) lets say wanaumwa na wote wanahitaji kuwekewa figo. Utajitolea figo lako moja kwa nani?
Sijawahi kufikiria kuweka kipimo kati ya watoto wetu na mke wangu - na nadhani kufanya ni DHAMBI ya Umauti [Mortal SIN] - kwahiyo mimi kwangu "they all come first" ...
Siku njema