Manchester United (Red Devils) | Special Thread

“Francesco Totti (aged 38) has scored twice for Roma against Lazio this afternoon. He’s a touch raw, but the potential of the lad is phenomenal,” says Kevin Porter.

Yes, he’s got some ability. Wonder if anyone’s riffed on his surname yet.

Three at the back; I don’t get it. No overlaps, simple balls into the corners causing undue mayhem, Glenn Hoddle’s a fan.

There is so much anticipation and tension too. We have to win this one to remain relevant in pursuing Chelsea at the apex of the league.

Walete walete wanyera haooooooooooo

The Southampton players are tunnelled. The short, back and sides are short back and sided.

Housekeeping: Luke Shaw used to play for Southampton.

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2m ago15:57
“A player like Carrick needs pictures, pictures ahead of him ... if he sees pictures, he’ll play passes.” Hoddle on Hoddle Carrick

1 min Southampton go long, and De Gea fails to charge out to clear. For this, he suffers the ignominy of a telling from Chris Smalling.

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2m ago16:00
1 min Southamton kick-off. Yo DJ pump this party.

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3m ago16:00
It is United against Southampton, and it’s live. We’ve gone for an accumulator, and who knows which way the games are going to go. Etcetera.

1 min More Southampton pressure. Clyne bangs a low one into Pelle, who lays off adroitly and back into his stride as Blind chugs in pursuit. He bursts into the box, and drills a low shot just wide of the far post - on target, and De Gea was naewhere near.

3 min Southampton win a free-kick on the left and pile men into the box. It’s curved in high, and Rooney heads clear, but Southampton maintain pressure, winning a throw. That’s cleared, but they keep United boxed, forcing Mata to juggle and hook away over his head.

Go on Man U......all the best....

4 min This is an excellent start from the visitors - United have mustered barely a touch, and are being pressed all over. In particular, this might not work for Juan Mata, who struggles in fast, physical games. Why, it’s almost as if Jose Mourinho knows something.

5 min Bit of possession for United - Di Maria is playing inside, it seems, with Rooney in midfield despite not being a midfielder.

6 min Schneiderlin wraps arms around Di Maria, who falls over; free-kick to United, 25 yards out, just by the left corner of the box. Rooney whips it in, but Smalling it beaten to the header, and then Carrick arcs over a cross from just outside the box on its right. This time, Smalling wins the header, nodding across for Van Persie, and Alderweireld does extremely well to concede a corner.

9 min “’A player like Carrick needs pictures, pictures ahead of him...’” emails Charles Antaki. “I had to look it up, but this is a decent example of anadiplosis by Glenn Hoddle; let’s see if Carrick can bear the weight of more classical Greek rhetoric as the game wears on. Or just misplace a few passes.”

Wonder what he did in a past life to deserve such terrible fate.

11 min “I always quite liked 3-5-2 ...including under Hoddle,” emails Thomas Gunn. “You need fast, intelligent, ball-playing defenders though and Smalling and Jones just aren’t good enough. I had high hopes for Evans but not convinced.”

The pace of Evan’s regression has been alarming, and agreed on the defenders - Rojo might be capable. But the lack of overlaps is still a problem, as strikers end up leaving the box to help, so that when the ball does come in, there’s no one there.

12 min After a good few minutes for United, Southampton press forwards - they’re playing a diamond, with Elia “in and around Pelle”. Yes. They win a free-kick 45 yards out, on the right touchline, and Fonte isolates Carrick in back-post vicinity - Carrick does well to concede a corner, which comes to nothing. Good, fast game so far.

14 min “According to Tyler, Valdes getting off the bus in front of De Gea is ‘significant’ as he wants to get in front of De Gea in team selection.What if he is just coach sick and needs to sit near the front?” asks Gazza Brown.

An excellent question; what if he’s just really sad, and likes talking to the teachers? Exactly.

mtasubiri sana

15 min Van Persie robs Schneiderlin, who lunges and fouls. United take the free-kick short, as though they’re about to resume passing, but then Rooney lumps an aimless lump onto Fonte’s forehead, and Southampton clear.

16 min Carrick lifts a lovely ball over Bertrand for Valencia on the touchline, who does likewise for Jones. He touches into space, but can’t quite keep up with it, so Southampton clear via goal-kick - but that was pleasant play.