Family Pressures.. Ushauri Pls!!

Nemo · Jan 5, 2013

Habari zenu wanajamii?

Mimi kwa wasifu ni: ke, mid thirties,no kids, never been married
Positives: Easy going, friendly, "Ok" looking, very independent**
Negatives: Selfish,Uncompromising, Impatient , semi- feminist**.

Lately my family, especially my sister has been on my case re: my "unmarried" status. Ohh umri
umekwenda, ohh utajuta, ona watoto wa family friends na familia zao, ohh una muhuzunisha mama, and blah blah blah. Personally I could careless about mawazo ya wanandugu hawa except for my mother. I love her to pieces and would not want to be a source of disappointment in her life. Nilivyo ongea naye, yeye alichosema ni kuwa kama sitaki kuolewa at least nizae. She thinks huko baadae nitajutia haya maisha ya kipekee, especially ikiwa bila ya mtoto hata mmoja.
So far my biggest worry is mtoto is for life. Sasa wajameni, nemo mimi nisiyeweza haya maisha ya kuhudumia mtu mzima na ndevu zake aka ndoa nitawezaje kuwa responsible for mtoto who is a total dependant? Je wenzangu mna deal je na hizi pressure za familia kung'ang'ana na ndoa or meddling in your life? Na wale wazazi both single and married maisha na gharama za kulea ni aje?

PS: Sorry in advance kwa wale wanaokerwa na language mix

Berrita · Jan 5, 2013

Kama umeweza kuto olewa kwa matakwa yako, usizae kwa matakwa yako pia. Mtoto sio accessory ni mwanadamu anaehitaji ukaribu wa mzazi ambae anampenda kwa dhati na sio kwa magumashi.

Karucee · Jan 5, 2013

Berrita said:
Kama umeweza kuto olewa kwa matakwa yako, usizae kwa matakwa yako pia. Mtoto sio accessory ni mwanadamu anaehitaji ukaribu wa mzazi ambae anampenda kwa dhati na sio kwa magumashi.

umemaliza mkuu.

Dark City · Jan 5, 2013

Pole sana Nemo kwa yote yanayokusibu....

Ila jambo zuri sana kwamba unajitambua na weakness zako...mfano, ni hilo la kwamba uko selfish....Halafu uko impatient and uncompromizing!!

Je uko tayari kujaribu kubadilika kwa ajili ya mtu au watu unaowapenda...mfano mpenzi wako na watoto??

Kama hauko tayari basi uendelee na maisha yako hayo hayo....kwa sababu family life ni pamoja na kujitoa kwa ajili ya furaha ya watu wengine, kuwa patient hata kwa vitu ambayo watu wengine wasingekuelewa na ku-compromise baadhi ya mambo yako ili wale unaowapenda wapate furaha na amani...

Naamini umenielewa...

Babu DC!!

Zion Daughter · Jan 5, 2013

Wanalokushauri/kukuambia ndugu zako ni zuri na jema.Nahisi unamatatizo ya kisaikolojia..Tafuta ushauri dada.Unafurahia sasa kwa kuwa unamarafiki wengi na unajirusha..Umri ukienda na nguvu kukuishia na marafiki watakimbia..Utahitaji watu wa karibu sana watakaokufariji na kukusaidia..Kumbuka pesa sio kila kitu unapokuwa mpweke na kuhitaji msaada..Hata ndugu zako hutawaona kwa kuwa nao watakuwa na familia zao..
Nakushauri tafuta mwezi wa kukupa kampani na utafute anayeenda na wewe..

Kaunga · Jan 5, 2013

Mtoto ni kitu kingine bwana, nakushauri kama huwezi kucompromise hata kidogo na kuolewa basi zaa.

They bring new n wonderful meaning in our lives. You are never lonely when you have a kiddo. Do it to youself, sio kwa pressure.

Kuna bibi yetu mmoja hakujaliwa kuzaa ktk uzee wake alitunzwa na cousin wangu mmoja (mtoto wa dada yake huyo bibi); siku zote hadi anafariki alikuwa ni mtu wa kujihisi tu na kusononeka.

Msikilize mama yako tafadhali, amepitia ujana na anajua yote anayopaswa kujua.

Zion Daughter · Jan 5, 2013

Dark City said:
Pole sana Nemo kwa yote yanayokusibu....

Ila jambo zuri sana kwamba unajitambua na weakness zako...mfano, ni hilo la kwamba uko selfish....Halafu uko impatient and uncompromizing!!

Je uko tayari kujaribu kubadilika kwa ajili ya mtu au watu unaowapenda...mfano mpenzi wako na watoto??

Kama hauko tayari basi uendelee na maisha yako hayo hayo....kwa sababu family life ni pamoja na kujitoa kwa ajili ya furaha ya watu wengine, kuwa patient hata kwa vitu ambayo watu wengine wasingekuelewa na ku-compromise baadhi ya mambo yako ili wale unaowapenda wapate furaha na amani...

Naamini umenielewa...

Babu DC!!

Babu I beg to differ hapo unasema kama hayupo tayari aendelee hivo..Ajitahidi kutafuta suluhu asibweteke na hali hiyo..
Kuna washauri wa kiroho na wasaikolojia..Nina imani atapona tu..

Mwanamalundi · Jan 5, 2013

Nemo said:
Habari zenu wanajamii?

Mimi kwa wasifu ni: ke, mid thirties,no kids, never been married
Positives: Easy going, friendly, "Ok" looking, very independent**
Negatives: Selfish,Uncompromising, Impatient , semi- feminist**.

Lately my family, especially my sister has been on my case re: my "unmarried" status. Ohh umri
umekwenda, ohh utajuta, ona watoto wa family friends na familia zao, ohh una muhuzunisha mama, and blah blah blah. Personally I could careless about mawazo ya wanandugu hawa except for my mother. I love her to pieces and would not want to be a source of disappointment in her life. Nilivyo ongea naye, yeye alichosema ni kuwa kama sitaki kuolewa at least nizae. She thinks huko baadae nitajutia haya maisha ya kipekee, especially ikiwa bila ya mtoto hata mmoja.
So far my biggest worry is mtoto is for life. Sasa wajameni, nemo mimi nisiyeweza haya maisha ya kuhudumia mtu mzima na ndevu zake aka ndoa nitawezaje kuwa responsible for mtoto who is a total dependant? Je wenzangu mna deal je na hizi pressure za familia kung'ang'ana na ndoa or meddling in your life? Na wale wazazi both single and married maisha na gharama za kulea ni aje?

PS: Sorry in advance kwa wale wanaokerwa na language mix

Hayatuhusu. This is your private business. We dont want gossip in this forum.

The Boss · Jan 5, 2013

First karibu Nemo..
we missed u big time..

Pili hizo familly pressure zipo sana na zinaweza zikaku ingia na wewe ukaanza kujiona not normal..
so kuwa careful sana...

mwisho simamia maamuzi yako...
i wish ungeandika kiswahili kitupu upate michango mingi

Stamina · Jan 5, 2013

I respect ur life style!! so nashindwa kutoa advice! coz umesha conclude kwamba hutaki kuolewa so nikushauri nini then?!

The Boss · Jan 5, 2013

Mwanamalundi said:
Hayatuhusu. This is your private business. We dont want gossip in this forum.

whats wrong with you?
kuwa na heshima na watu humu

Kishalu · Jan 5, 2013

Jamani naomba serikali irudishe jeshi baada ya form six, maana ungekuwa umepitia huko hamna kinachoshindikana na watu kama ww wapo wengi sana na wengi wao ambao wameolewa ndoa simewashinda na wamerudi kukaa kwa wazazi au ndugu zao

Nemo · Jan 5, 2013

Berrita said:
Kama umeweza kuto olewa kwa matakwa yako, usizae kwa matakwa yako pia. Mtoto sio accessory ni mwanadamu anaehitaji ukaribu wa mzazi ambae anampenda kwa dhati na sio kwa magumashi.

Berrita nashukuru for your input ila tatizo ni hapo nilipo bold. It's not as easy as you think. Kwa mfano Right now if you ask me unataka mtoto at this moment or next year the answer is a definate NO! However I can't say that for sure down the road, eg in 5 years.

Kamanda Kazi · Jan 5, 2013

..but angali, ujana maji ya moto little while yanapoa! kwa nini usiolewe? wanayosema ndugu zako ni sahihi baada ya muda utapoteza uwezo wa kuzaa! ukifikia hapo ndo utatafuta mtoto wa ku-adopt au ni aje? au una tatizo linalokusonga? liseme...

The Boss · Jan 5, 2013

Nemo said:
Berrita nashukuru for your input ila tatizo ni hapo nilipo bold. It's not as easy as you think. Kwa mfano Right now if you ask me unataka mtoto at this moment or next year the answer is a definate NO! However I can't say that for sure down the road, eg in 5 years.

However selfish and uncompromising you are
ukizaa utabadilika...

Vin Diesel · Jan 5, 2013

Haya mambo huwa magumu sana
Kama umeamua kutoolewa na umeshinda ushawishi wao then hata mtoto usipate pia na mwisho wa siku utakuja kuona ukizeeka kama utakuwa na regrets au la.
Utakuwa mshauri mzuri.

Nemo · Jan 5, 2013

Dark City said:
Pole sana Nemo kwa yote yanayokusibu....

Ila jambo zuri sana kwamba unajitambua na weakness zako...mfano, ni hilo la kwamba uko selfish....Halafu uko impatient and uncompromizing!!

Je uko tayari kujaribu kubadilika kwa ajili ya mtu au watu unaowapenda...mfano mpenzi wako na watoto??

Kama hauko tayari basi uendelee na maisha yako hayo hayo....kwa sababu family life ni pamoja na kujitoa kwa ajili ya furaha ya watu wengine, kuwa patient hata kwa vitu ambayo watu wengine wasingekuelewa na ku-compromise baadhi ya mambo yako ili wale unaowapenda wapate furaha na amani...

Naamini umenielewa...

Babu DC!!

Ahsante Babu!! I do agree kuwa mtoto needs a loving parent (s). Kuhusu kubadilika, I guess for my child I
am willing to and hopefully I can do all of the above. What's killing me is the uncertainity of whether now is the time or not. Coupled na hizi pressure za wanandungu za when, plus being told time is gone, ................................. tick, tock, tick 😱hwell:

Dark City · Jan 5, 2013

Zion Daughter said:
Babu I beg to differ hapo unasema kama hayupo tayari aendelee hivo..Ajitahidi kutafuta suluhu asibweteke na hali hiyo..
Kuna washauri wa kiroho na wasaikolojia..Nina imani atapona tu..

Mdogo wangu Zion Daughter,

Nakubaliana na wewe...ila kwa maelezo ya huyu dada (ambayo naamini ndiyo ukweli toka ndani mwake), ana qualities ambazo kama hayuko tayari kubadilika basi itakuwa ngumu kwake kuingia kwenye ndoa au kuwa na mtoto bila ndoa!!

Hivi kwa yale aliyoyasema, itatokea nini endapo toddler wake atavunja chupa ya perfume yake (a very expensive frangrance kama Channel 5)??

Nadhani hii ni case ngumu sana,

Babu DC!!

Nyani Ngabu · Jan 5, 2013

The Boss said:
However selfish and uncompromising you are
ukizaa utabadilika...

Bossman, that's not a guarantee, my friend.

Kuna wazazi wako hivyo hadi unashangaa kwa nini walizaa. They just don't give a damn. Wao ni kujirusha tu. Mtoto hajaliwi hata kidogo.

Nemo · Jan 5, 2013

Zion Daughter said:
Wanalokushauri/kukuambia ndugu zako ni zuri na jema.Nahisi unamatatizo ya kisaikolojia..Tafuta ushauri dada.Unafurahia sasa kwa kuwa unamarafiki wengi na unajirusha..Umri ukienda na nguvu kukuishia na marafiki watakimbia..Utahitaji watu wa karibu sana watakaokufariji na kukusaidia..Kumbuka pesa sio kila kitu unapokuwa mpweke na kuhitaji msaada..Hata ndugu zako hutawaona kwa kuwa nao watakuwa na familia zao..
Nakushauri tafuta mwezi wa kukupa kampani na utafute anayeenda na wewe..

Zion Daughter
Ohh my goodness,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,this is exactly what my sister argued for!!! Ahsante kwa ushauri

Family Pressures.. Ushauri Pls!!

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