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Tegelezeni

JF-Expert Member
Dec 31, 2009
268
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HOME INTERNAL MEMO

FROM : MOTHER


TO : ALL DEPENDANTS AND RELATIVES

CC : FATHER

DATE : TODAY

ECONOMIC SITUATION, HIGH FOOD COST AND GROUND RULES

Due to the current economic situation, high food cost, all domestic rules and regulations have been revised as below and under no circumstance is any violation going to be accepted.

1. The Kitchen and all stores are declared Restricted Zones. Entry and/or passage shall require express permission from myself upon submission of written request.

2. Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be discussed!

3. Such food items as rice, chicken, butter, jam, eggs, bread and milk are Restricted. Anyone intending to eat any of such foodstuffs must write to me in triplicate, with three days notice, giving justifications backed by a qualified dietician's report.

4. Watering with hoses is banned. Further, only food-giving plants shall be watered. No lawns or flowers shall receive water. For internal decoration, only plastic and dry-flower arrangements shall be permitted.

5. Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 litres of water per day per person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical reasons.

6. All security lights should be removed with immediate effect. All dependants shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roster I shall make available shortly.(Polisi Shirikishi)

7. No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to offer food, drinks or even music. Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them.

8. No one is allowed to talk to officials from police, Council or Court Clerks; doing so shall carry an instantaneous penalty of ejection from the house.

9. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in the house, shall immediately have to seek temporary employment somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s).

10. All visitors intending to spend a night/week or more shall apply in triplicate and give two months notice, with an endorsement from their town Mayor, Village Headman or Church Priest, giving convincing reasons why they can't stay at their homes. Failure to do this shall result in their being turned away, at the gate, upon arrival.

THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!!!


Signed: MUM
Chairperson of Home Affairs


CC TRA
PROVINCIAL ADMINISTRATION
IMMIGRATION DEPARTMENT
DOMESTIC PETS
NEIGHBORS

This Memo has been drafted after a serious and lengthy discussion with the Chairman of Centre Bureau of Economics and Cost Practitioners
 

deadteja

JF-Expert Member
Aug 8, 2011
377
225
Ung'eng'e na mimi have started the race at the same spot but heading in opposite directions! Sina hela ya panadol leo.
 

LiverpoolFC

JF-Expert Member
Apr 12, 2011
11,023
2,000
2ngempata Waziri kama huyu 2ngekuwa na serikali KAKAMAVU na siyo legelege kama ilivyo ya JK.
 

Humphnicky

JF-Expert Member
Dec 1, 2010
1,988
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Huyu mama lazima ana mchanganyiko wa damu ya kikurya iliyojaa ukatili, ubabe na udikteta. Pia ana damu ya kikinga iliyojaa ubahili na uchawi na mwishowe ana damu ya kipare iliyojaa kupenda kesi na ubahili
 

The Magnificent

JF-Expert Member
Jan 6, 2011
2,695
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Huyu mama lazima ana mchanganyiko wa damu ya kikurya iliyojaa ukatili, ubabe na udikteta. Pia ana damu ya kikinga iliyojaa ubahili na uchawi na mwishowe ana damu ya kipare iliyojaa kupenda kesi na ubahili
<br />
<br />
nani kakwambia wakurya katili,heshimu makabila ya wenzio kama kabila lako linavyoheshimiwa
shiiit! Ushaniharibia siku
 

Ennie

JF-Expert Member
Jan 15, 2011
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Hapo lazima wanafamilia wakatafute hifadhi kwa ndugu na jamaa.
 

Capitani

Member
Sep 7, 2011
79
0
Memo ni memo tu haina meno, Nadhani kuna jambo limejificha hapo sio UKATA, wala SIO ubinafsi, nikuonyesha mtu kujali
 

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