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Dirty secrets behind your cellular phone
The mobile phone has brought people much closer in the past two decades or so, but the gadget has also been a source of misery and serious misunderstanding within families and in relationships. PHOTO | FILE By The Citizen Reporters
Posted Friday, June 6 2014 at 00:00
In Summary
The mobile phone has brought people much closer in the past two decades or so, but the gadget has also been a source of misery and serious misunderstanding within families and in relationships. PHOTO | FILE By The Citizen Reporters
Posted Friday, June 6 2014 at 00:00
In Summary
- In a world of passwords and encryptions, mobile phones have ruined homes and marriages
- The mobile phone, one sciences most recent inventions, has done a lot to change peoples lives, for better or worse. It strengthens relations, and ruins many as well and so, beware!
Dar es Salaam.James, a 45-year-old banker who lives in Dar es Salaam, has two mobile phones. The one officially registered in his real names is mainly for family and business matters.
The second one, which is registered under pseudonyms, is locked in the safe in his plush office. This second phone is mainly for communicating with his romantic interestsand thats why James makes sure he leaves it locked away in safe custody.
He reached this decision after realising that his wife secretly reads all his text messages to establish whether or not he is having an extra-marital affair/s.
James is not alone. Theres Emia 33-year old Dar-based businesswoman who flies frequently to China on business. In Emis mobile phones, her boyfriends have fake names, including Fundi Bomba and Pastor. She goes through all these motions to ensure her husband, who is a politician, does not find out about her hidden life.
Emi has managed to stay safe so far but she lives in fear of someone laying their hands on her two mobile phones. Though she deletes all incriminating text messages, she still fears that her husband might come across her secret.
She has gotten away with it so far and she stays in touch with her Chinese boyfriend, who is nicknamed Pastor. In Dar, Fundi Bomba is in charge.
But Emi is not the only one playing away games. Theres Hamad, one of the top lawyers in the country, whose phone is fully encrypted and requires code to read any text messages. Hamad says he took these measures to ensure that no unauthorised person, his wife included, reads his text messages.
It is a gadget everyone wants to own, thanks to the thriving mobile phone sector. But it is breaking homes, marriages and lives. As men and women compete to lay their hands on the latest smart phones on the market, the much-coveted phone has created suspicion, mistrust and spying among millions of couples. The number of mobile phone users in Tanzania is estimated at about 25 million.
Both men and women confess to secretly going through the mobile phones of their partners in search of proof that cheating is taking place. According to a survey conducted by The Citizen, many phone users have turned to Whats App because it is difficult for anyone to get a reprint of all text messages.
WhatsApp Messenger is a proprietary, cross-platform instant messaging subscription service for smartphones which, in addition to text messaging, allows users to send each other images, video and audio messages.
In recent years, some men and women have been able to fraudulently obtain a printout of all text messages sent and received by their spouses.
The Citizen has established that a few years ago, a city business tycoon divorced his second wife after getting a printout of all text messages she sent and received, some of them very incriminating.
The tycoon paid two workers at one of the big mobile phones in the country Sh50 million, according to a close family friend who tried to reconcile the couples before the divorce .
The danger is that you can delete all text messages and use pseudo names, but you dont control the network provider thats why many users are now turning to Whats App because its highly secure, says William, a city businessman.
WhatsApp was created in early 2009 by Ian Koum, a Ukrainian immigrant living in Mountain View, California. At one point, he and his mother had to rely on food stamps to make ends meet . Since its modest beginnings in 2009, WhatsApp has ballooned into a giant by extending to Android, BlackBerry, and other platforms, and by continuously adding new featuresa move that recently forced Mark Zuckerberg, the owner of Facebook,to buy it at a whopping $19 billion, or about $42 per active user.
How would you feel if your spouse has a password on their phone?
In a survey on how mobile phones have created suspicion and spying among couples, The Citizen asked those interviewed these questions: How would you feel if your partners phone has a password? Is it right for your partner or lover to go into your phones and access all your communication details?
The response was mixed but the bottom line is that many do not like the idea of a password or encryption on their lovers phones. Some consider a mobile phone a private device that should not be accessed by anyone but the owner. Not even your wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriendbecause, in their view, it is a question of the right to privacy. But can there really be total privacy in a marriage or relationship?
According to a survey conducted by The Citizen, this is the reality that most couples are forced to grapple with, lest they get busted by their loved ones. They dont like the idea of a password but they believe they have no choice but to do so. Some would like to have access their lovers mobile phones every hour and every day but have no such options.
For instance, Ms Rithas Nokia E 72 phone is protected by a password. Three years ago, when she was feeding her two-year-old daughter, her husband returned home from work and sat on the sofa. A few minutes later, Rithas phone started buzzing. When it rang the first time, he chose not to answer itassuming perhaps that it just a regular call.
When it rang a second time, the man of the house decided to do the honours and answer it. I heard him speaking over it, and some seconds later, I could hear him arguing and threatening the other person, the mother of two recalls. I realised then that all was not well.
When she came out of the bathroom, she was met by her fuming husbandand a brutal beating. All I remember is being admitted at Kimara dispensary deep wounds, she adds. He was too physical.
Ritha, who had been cohabitating with Ahmed for five years and runs a restaurant in their ever-busy suburb, told The Citizen that she was forced to put a password on her mobile phone, given that she was in a relationship with another man she had grown fond of. Hers was not a real love and she had since got bored with her partnerand she did not see why it should be a problem going out with another man.
Two years since she started seeing this man, she found herself deeply in love with him but decided to keep it a secret. Im still in touch with him, and I have continuously put a password on my phone so my husband does not get to know what I am up to, she adds.
Mr Jaykesh Rathod, a relationship coach based in Dar es Salaam, says it is a big problem having a cellphone with a password, especially for married couples. Mr Rathod, who is also a masseur, wonders why it should be difficult for wives to have access to their husbands cellphones.
If you trust your spouse, then give them access to your phone, he says. What are you hiding from them?
According to Mr Rathod, infidelity has led to a good number of spouses in Tanzania installing passwords on their phones. They will not have a legitimate reason to this but, if you ask me, I think it trickles down to infidelity, says the relationship coach. Mr Rathods sentiment is backed by electronic adverts that have taken the media by storm with advice urging couples not to stray. He adds that it is funny that some men give their external partners nicknames to conceal their identities.
A campaign that is popular in Tanzania calls on the public to remain on the main road and keep off stray routes (acha mpango wa kando, baki njia kuu).
These phones have ruined some marriages, says 45-year-old Esther, who is a secondary school teacher. They have also helped to establish how big cheating and infidelity is in modern life.
Editors note: Some names have been changed to protect the identity of those interviewed for the survey. Additional reporting by Edward Qorro
