Can we Learn to Love Someone?

mnajua mazee mi mwenyewe nini nasakanya li true love langu
halafu muda unaenda tu halafu sijui yuko wapi wala nini
ingawa mashortie wanazimika sometime mi naona swaga ndo zinawazingua
sasa mi ntajuaje ka ndo true love?
kumpenda mtu hujifunzi wazee ma chemistry lazima yafanye kazi
 
Gaijin said:
You can but do you want to?
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I think its for the best..... Perfect situation ni kupata unayempenda sana na yeye akakupenda pia (mara nyingi hapa huwa ni physical attraction). Lakini the World is not perfect.

So long as you have things in common then you will become friends and since you are opposite sex then obvious there will be attraction. So only thing is to concentrate on the positives. :embarrassed: I know I can......:hungry:
 
Do you know how long it will take? And while you are learning to love her, can you live in a one way love?

VoiceOfReason said:
I think its for the best..... Perfect situation ni kupata unayempenda sana na yeye akakupenda pia (mara nyingi hapa huwa ni physical attraction). Lakini the World is not perfect.

So long as you have things in common then you will become friends and since you are opposite sex then obvious there will be attraction. So only thing is to concentrate on the positives. :embarrassed: I know I can......:hungry:
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Gaijin said:
Do you know how long it will take? And while you are learning to love her, can you live in a one way love?
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Love.... what is love, nadhani hili ni swali gumu sana,

Binafsi I like Kindness...., Someone to Share Mawazo, Someone I can Trust, Someone I can Rely that she will always be there for me.... (Now where is the best place to find all of the above?????, Someone who cares for me ofcourse).

I know kuna kitu kinaitwa physical attraction.... Beauty... Lakini uzuri never last a lifetime... people age, and you will always find someone more beautiful than the last one. Remember someone said "The Beautifull are Not Yet Born"... Tukumbuke pia people fall out of love.. kwahiyo kujibu swali lako I'd rather wait a lifetime to learn to love someone, than to wait a lifetime for someone to fall for me.
 
Katika kila mfumo wa maisha ya binadamu kuna mambo ambayo huwa yanaendana na mfumu huo. Wakati wa ujamaa kulikuwa na uwezekano wa mapenzi ya dhati kwani jamii iliishi kiundugu zaidi.Sasa katika hii hali ya Kiliberali (Neo-Liberalism) in every sphere of life you must have something to exchange. Hakuna dada atakubali aolewe tu na jamaa akale bamia uswahili aache kufikiria maisha ya baadaye,na familia yake watoto watasoma vipi na wakiugua wapi watapata matibabu.In order to be able to exchange you must have social capital (Wealth in general, sura nzuri, kipaji kinachokutofautisha na wengine, Elimu nzuri), hivyo ni baadhi tu ya social capital ambazo zinaweza kumfanya mtu aweze kuexchange na mwingine ambaye pia anauwezo wa kuexchange kitu ambacho hana.Tukumbuke kuwa wakati wa ujamaa most social capital were shared, kama mali hatukupaswa kulimbikiza, nguo wote either dada awe mzuri au mbaya ni zile zile, viatu vilikuwa vya bora kulekule, shule wote walikuwa wakipita vyuo vya serikari, hakuna cha English academia wala kwa Kayumba.n.k, Sasa maisha yamebadilika jamani. Tutaumiza sana vichwa na kutunga sana story hatupati jibu. Try to follow this formular will help you.

Dada mzuri + elimu nzuri+ family back ground kiuchumi na network nzuri+ kazi nzuri= huyu anaweza akajaribu kusustain maisha na=Mwanaume handsome maisha+ kazi nzuri+family background safi here they share the power to exchange, hiyo formular inakwenda mpaka kwa maisha kama ya kwangu na mie..chini kabisa.
Pia kunawezekanao handsome boy ambaye ana hela kidogo akamuowa mwanamke mbaya lakini mwenye hela tena pia anaweza akawa ana umri mkubwa. Hawa wataechange na wanaweza kudumu, Hivyohivyo mwanaume mwenye fedha zake za kutosha lakini mwenye sura ka jipu anaweza kuowa mwanamke mzuri na wakadumu, hawa nafikiri mnajua wanaechange nini!!!!.....
Kama unataka pressure na kufa haraka kama watani zangu wa kule Iringa basi jaribu kuvuruga formular hii...mfano wewe eti handsome men huna hela harafu ukaowa mwanamke mkali na huwezi kumhudimia, wenye kuweza kumvalisha watakusaidia sana na utakonda mpaka cha moto ukione. Hivyohivyo kwa mwanamke, sura yako mbaya, huna elimu, huna mali familia backgroup yako mbovu, network yako ya malofa tu kama mimi, eti unataka mwanaume mwenye hela, handsome tena usimbe akawa politician, utalea watoto nyumbani kama backtatu, na utasaidiwa sana na watoto watauni...................................

TAFAKARI ANGALIA UNAFIT WAPI NA NANI MNAWEZA SHARE (exchange) some thing kwa maisha ya sasa. Kila kitu kiko sakoni ndugu zangu kama huna meno acha utakufa!!!
 
straatkasyambe said:
Pia kunawezekanao handsome boy ambaye ana hela kidogo akamuowa mwanamke mbaya lakini mwenye hela tena pia anaweza akawa ana umri mkubwa. Hawa wataechange na wanaweza kudumu, Hivyohivyo mwanaume mwenye fedha zake za kutosha lakini mwenye sura ka jipu anaweza kuowa mwanamke mzuri na wakadumu, hawa nafikiri mnajua wanaechange nini!!!!.....
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Hapa ndugu yangu umeongelea "love someone because of" na hii sidhani kama ni really love sababu hizo pesa zikiisha basi na penzi huyeyuka.

Ninachomaanisha hapa ni kwamba wewe kama individual ndio huwe decision maker; utafute mtu anaykufeel sana na sio sababu ya pesa; na wewe ndio huwe mtu wa kujifunza kumpenda; turning the one way love (her to you) iwe both ways
 
VoiceOfReason said:
Hapa ndugu yangu umeongelea "love someone because of" na hii sidhani kama ni really love sababu hizo pesa zikiisha basi na penzi huyeyuka.

Ninachomaanisha hapa ni kwamba wewe kama individual ndio huwe decision maker; utafute mtu anaykufeel sana na sio sababu ya pesa; na wewe ndio huwe mtu wa kujifunza kumpenda; turning the one way love (her to you) iwe both ways
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Sawa nimekuelewa sana ndugu nafikiri ninachosisitiza mimi na nafikiri ambacho natofautiana nawe ni kwamba kwa mwanamke yoyote au mwanaume lazima unaweza ukawa unapendwa na watu zaidi ya mmoja, haiwezekani ukapendwa na mtu mmoja tu, kumpata anayekupenda zaidi kati hao ni ngumu kwani inabidi uwajue wote kiundani na uvyoingia deep zaidi kumjua mmojammoja kiundani ndio unawapoteza wengine ujue. Swala la kushere something linakuja pale watu kumi wote, unawapenda au wanakupenda then katika choice zako utaangalia nani anakitu ambacho sina (power relations). au ambacho nakihitaji, wala sio swala la kusema nani ana real love kati ya hao kwani wote wanakuwa wameonyesha hali ya kukupenda. In fact real love ya siku hizi lazima iambatane na certain material thing , kama nivyomention kwenye last thread
 
Husninyo said:
na hata tunapopenda huwa ni madomo zege kujiexpress.
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Maneno pekee mean nothing, tena karne hii watu wamekuwa na Sound huwezi kuamini, vitendo ndio vina maana kuliko maneno, "Actions Speaks Louder than Words"
 
straatkasyambe said:
certain material thing , kama nivyomention kwenye last thread
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Nakubaliana na wewe kwa kiasi fulani, ila hiyo definition ya material things...... hapa inabidi kwenye material things uongezee vitu kama security.... Dependence.... (kumtegemea mtu sio kwa mali tu, lakini pia mawazo na ushirikino, je atakuwa tayari kusaidiana na wewe katika familia na matatizo yote) sio yeye awe ni partner when it comes kushare the bed peke yake, hapana hata issue nyingine. kwahiyo hata kama hauna kipato una mambo mengi ya kuoffer.
 
Aaah sawa, ila usijizuwie ku fall kwa mtu tu kwa kuwa huna uhakika kama yeye anaweza ku learn how to love.


VoiceOfReason said:
Binafsi I know I can learn to Love someone, lakini siku hizi ni wachache kama mimi. So if I can do it why wait for it to be done to me?
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Kupenda ni mazoea am sure ukimzoea mtu lazima kuna attraction itatokea so long as you have something in common. Aint it great to know that someone will die for you... even if she/he hakuwa your first Choice. Kumbuka "love at first sight is just physical attraction" and love is more than that..
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Kuna mwandishi mmoja wa kenya wa my Dear Bottle, Jasinta, After 4.30......The Flesh na vitabu vingine alisema...........Bw. Mahillu now deceased, I heard............alisema hivi....when your lover says I love you.......most of the time it is not what they mean.......................often they say what they do not mean and mean what they didi not say.................strange human behaviour is it not?

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU.......................
 
VOR... Yes you can learn to Love someone.... Kuna mtu mwingine ukimuona at first glace unasema "Hell NO!!" But with time... You fall in Love...
 
Wanawake weeengi huwa wanapenda wakiwa tayari na mtu then inaongezeka maradufu wanapoendelea kuwa pamoja, sababu mwanaume anakuja na kukutamkia wakati tayari either kakupenda kabisa au kakutamani tayari, wewe mwanamke unaanzia pale
 
AshaDii said:
VOR... Yes you can learn to Love someone.... Kuna mtu mwingine ukimuona at first glace unasema "Hell NO!!" But with time... You fall in Love...
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Ni kweli kama bibi na babu zetu waliweza enzi zile za arranged marriages kwahiyo na sisi hatushindwi ila ni kwamba siku hizi, watu hawaipi chance hili jambo kutokea, usipomfanya ageuze shingo for real hautapata opportunity ya kumuonyesha hizo hidden qualities ambazo kila mtu anazo.
 
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