Can men and women be friends?

[Nyani Ngabu]

Khaahh
I'm sure waweza kuwa na marafiki ambao ni wakawida
tu wa jinsia tofauti..
I have got plenty of them..
nway I think will be better if you write in swahili
So many people can understand.. not everyone knows
english in here..

Sorry if i offend u in any way..

No offense taken or inconvenience caused.

 

[Nanren]

From a broad perspective, there have been dozens of scientific studies and surveyed numbers of people about cross-gender friendships to discover whether these relationships can actually work or not. Also there have been studies listened in on countless discussions with men and women on the issue. Well…

... For a man, a woman who is just a friend allows him to express his more emotional side, to experience his vulnerability, to treat himself and his friend more tenderly than is permissible with male friends. What is typically missing for him in this cross-gender relationship, however, is the kind of rough camaraderie he can have with another man. For a woman, a man who is just a friend helps her express her independent, more reasoned and tougher side - the harder edge that's kept under wraps in relationships with women. The down side for her is the relative absence of emotional reciprocity and intensity she normally shares with a female friend.

So, okay, twist our arms for a NO or YES answer to this question and the answer will be YES. But we will quickly qualify it. Men and women can enjoy friendship together, but not at the same level they do with friends of the same sex.

I tend to agree with this analysis.

The seemingly unlikelihood of friendship between people of different sex is rather perceived than real. It is quite possible to have friends of opposite sex without having romantic intimacy. However, in my opinion, this perception that cross gender friendship can't work is strong and mostly complicated by men, especially in societies like African and others which mostly think about sex whenever they see women other than their mothers or sisters.

By the way, now with proliferation and more revelations about homosexuality, are we really going to trust any two friends of same sex- IF AT ALL we always think sex to be involved between cross gender friends? Is it not possible that the two female friends/male friends are also involved in their friendship with romance being the bond?

I personally consider that I have friends of both sexes. My friendship to people of both same and opposite sex, is a non-romantic one. There are some issues that we share with people of opposite sex, just like there are issues I share with friends of same sex. In both cases, there are also untouchable issues, which are off-limits and therefore we don't share or if we have to, then we tread carefully without jeopardizing our noble friendship.

I for example came into business partnership with a person of opposite sex. The partnership started long time ago and we had no romantic relationship then and we don't have now. We are all happy with our respective families and respect goes on from both sides and even other members of our respective families know one another and understand our friendship.

 

[Misguided]

I don't see why most of you thinks its not possible to maintain a ''we are just friends'' kinda relationship between a man and a woman. Ofcourse it's possible for one to fall for the other on the way but that could happen even without being friends on the first place.For two Exes it could be slightly difficult because most of the time one leaves the other who is still inlove, but at the end of the day if one of them doesn't want to keep that relationship going then that's it!So it's all about commitment, if your girl/boy is in to you , chill out and enjoy WHAT IS instead of worrying about WHAT ISN'T!

 

[The Finest]

I don't see why most of you thinks its not possible to maintain a ''we are just friends'' kinda relationship between a man and a woman. Ofcourse it's possible for one to fall for the other on the way but that could happen even without being friends on the first place.For two Exes it could be slightly difficult because most of the time one leaves the other who is still inlove, but at the end of the day if one of them doesn't want to keep that relationship going then that's it!So it's all about commitment, if your girl/boy is in to you , chill out and enjoy WHAT IS instead of worrying about WHAT ISN'T!

That's that.

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

I don't see why most of you thinks its not possible to maintain a ''we are just friends'' kinda relationship between a man and a woman. Ofcourse it's possible for one to fall for the other on the way but that could happen even without being friends on the first place.For two Exes it could be slightly difficult because most of the time one leaves the other who is still inlove, but at the end of the day if one of them doesn't want to keep that relationship going then that's it!So it's all about commitment, if your girl/boy is in to you , chill out and enjoy WHAT IS instead of worrying about WHAT ISN'T!

Hmmm.......!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Okay.....but, ain't you, you? Hahaaaaaaaa.....haya bana.

 

[Remmy]

Never!! mwanamke husihia kutongozwa tu, nimejaribu nimeshindwa.

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

Never!! mwanamke husihia kutongozwa tu, nimejaribu nimeshindwa.

You must be hawt!

 

[KakaKiiza]

Kwa"Miafrika Ndivyo Tulivyo"Atuwezi!!

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

Kwa"Miafrika Ndivyo Tulivyo"Atuwezi!!

Kumbe na hili lina Uafrika? Shughuli kweli kweli kama ndo hivyo

 

[chimala]

yes inawezekana kwa wale ambao hawa hawakuwai kuwa wapenzi, i meana huyu mwanamme na mwanamke hawajawahi kuwa na uhusiano wa mapenzi, ila kama wawili hao waliwahi kuwa wapenzi halafu wakaachana hii habari ya kuwa friends haiwezekani wazima wakumbushie tu, hakuna kitu kama hicho ni maigizo tu,

 

[YoungCorporate]

NN i ain't buy that, smtm smwhr they gonna bow to their energy in motions. Its just a matter of time bfr a time comes for them to honor 'the just friend status'.

 

[BlackBerry]

inawezekanna tumewaona na tunao na hakuna issue kama hiyo

 

[Caroline Danzi]

Mimi nina marafiki wengi wa kiume, ila hawakuwahi kuwa wapenzi kabla. Tofautisha kuwa na rafiki wa kike/kiume ambaye alikuwa nawe kimapenzi.

Uwezekano wa kuwa nao na usifanye chochoe unahitaji HOFU YA MUNGU na COMMITTMENT ya hali ya juu. Ila yote yanawezekana sidhani kama kuna kitu kinashindikana. Huwezi kuwa na marafiki wa jinsia moja hiyo nayo ni abnormal.

 

[Kaunga]

There things or ways we wish to be, and there is reality!
1. Opposite sex friendship is real especially when there was no intimancy before.
2. It is also possibly if the way they ended their romance was accepted to both of them.
3. It will be hard if they were forced by some situations to end their romance

Just like many people have said; men have little trust in "just good friend" thing coz, they don't see themself being just good friend to their exs.
My advice to all sex is to TRUST your current partner, either that or be MISERABLE coz we always bump onto our exs!

 

[DMussa]

I think this on an ideal situation is possible but when it comes to the actual living, you never know!
Its possible to have the "just friend" status for sometime its only that to keep it long enough is very hard, one of the reason is the expectations which either of the parties in that kind of friendship have. The other thing is that the possiblity of having successful relationship of this nature relies more on other conditions like presence of other things that bind the friendship, these can be business relations (partnership/supplier-client relationship etc), family friendship, educational relationship etc!

All in all to me this is just ideal, siamini katika urafiki wa aina hii kwa sababu najua given the proper time the status would change and when it does this kind of friendship becomes so hard to handle cos of its complexity!

 

[sweetdada]

Khaahh
I'm sure waweza kuwa na marafiki ambao ni wakawida
tu wa jinsia tofauti..
I have got plenty of them..
nway I think will be better if you write in swahili
So many people can understand.. not everyone knows
english in here..

Sorry if i offend u in any way..

I second that AD,

however, hao unaodhani ni marafiki inawezekana pia wao hawakuoni kama wewe ni just a friend.
why am i saying this? speaking from experience.i also have plenty of male friends, and we've been friends for along time..
ila ikatokea three of these so called 'best friends' they had mixed feelings about me, but couldn't say.

one was trying to tell me that he was lonely he needed somebody akabeat round the bushes mpaka akaja kusema 'it is you i want'.duh nikaogopa..the second one it was the same story we go out together etc out of the blue siku tukatoka out akanirudisha home he wanted a kiss and saying that he couldnt vumilia anymore he had to tell me..and story goes on to the third one.

what am trying to say here is, when you think the lady/man is your friend kumbe yeye hafikirii hivyo,anatafuta jinsi ya kukwambia,and it can take a century for him/her to tell you.it needs guts.

 

[Mwalimu]

Its possible but only if the following are observed...
1. Huo urafiki na "Ex" uwe na mipaka...yaani usiwe huru kujiachia na Ex wako kama ilivokuwa zamani
2. Mjulishe mapema huyo "Ex Boy/Girl" kuhusu your current status
3. Ikiwezekana zungumza na mwenza wako wa sasa mapema kuhusu mahusiano yako ya zamani na huyo "Ex"...isiwe ni suala la kumsuprise...

 

[Nyani Ngabu]

To be or not to be; is still the question.

 

[Dr Lizzy]

To be or not to be; is still the question.

TO BE is the ANSWER!!

 

[The Finest]

to be is the answer!!

not to be