Q: What's red and goes up and down? A: A tomato in an elevator. Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A: We have to stick together. Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster? A: Hello, hello. Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldoser. Q: When is a baseball player like a thief? A: When he steals a base. Q: What did the can say to the can opener? A: You make me flip my lid. Q: What is a volcano? A: A mountain with the hiccups. Q: What do you find at the end of everything? A: The letter "g". Q: What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe? A: He called a toe truck. Q: Why do two skunks argue? A: Because they like to kick up a stink. Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier? A: You can count on me. Q: What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street? A: Put them in a barking lot. Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on? A: He wanted to be a cool cat. Q: What did the painter say to the wall? A: One more crack and I'll plaster you. Q: Why is baseball like a cake? A: They both need batters. Q: What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? A: Take me to your weeder. Q: What kind of shoes do you make with banana skins? A: Slippers! Q: What did the rug say to the floor? A: I've got you covered! Q: How do you make antifreeze? A: You steal her blanket. Q: Why does a cow wear a bell? A: Because her horns don't work.