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Habari zenu wadau?? Naomba msaada wenu tafadhali, kuna file la PDF (Portable Document File) natakiwa nijaze na kutuma mahali, instructions zinasema ''fill the file from your computer'', Nitawezaje kuchapa kwenye computer yangu file la PDF?? nimejaribu na haiwezekani. is it possible to convert...

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc.... After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant and calls a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesnt have the slightest idea what...

Uvivu kama huu ni noma...! Mtoto: Baba naomba glasi moja ya maji ya kunywa Baba: Si uchukuwe mwenyewe kichaa nini? Mtoto: Jamani baba si nimekuomba tu lakini.... Baba: Ukisema ten anitakuja kkuzaba kibao Mtoto: Basi ukija kunizaba kibao uje na maji ya kunywa pia! Have a good...

Dear Father, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on. After receiving his son's...

Poleni na majukumu viongozi na mniwie radhi kama nitakuwa nimekosea title, ila ipo hivi, mara nyingi ninapokuwa nafanya presentation yoyote ile na hasa kama nitakuwa nipo mbele ya watu wanaozidi watano, huwa naishiwa na maneno na niaanza kutetemeka sana, 'confo' lote linashuka na ninasahau kila...

Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything... Tutors, Mentors, flash cards, Special learning centers. In short, everything They could think of to help his math. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local...

Preacher said: "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into theriver". And the congregation cried, "Amen!" "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it in the river". And the congregation cried, "Amen!" "And if I had all the whiskey and...

The wife came home from work early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. Understandably, she was somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children. I'm leaving you. I...

A guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house, was contemplating how the future would be after he had divorced his wife, lost his children and lost his job. He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it. He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the concrete...

Jamaa mpenda wake za watu. siku moja alikuwa akila uroda na mke wa jirani mtaa wa pili usiku wakati mumewe hayupo. Ghafla, mume karudi na kuanza kupigahodi mlango wa mbele. mke kusikia mumewe karudi, kahamaki na kukimbilia kumtoa jamaa kupitia mlango wa nyuma. Jamaa alikurupuka mbio...

Several men are in the changing room of Kiambu golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and began to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello"WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"MAN: "Yes" WOMAN: "I am...

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to...

"What would you do if I died? Would you get married again HUSBAND: "Definitely not!" WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?" HUSBAND: "Of course I do." WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again." WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her...

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong. The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the...

The Love Word: After 6 weeks: I looo-ve you, I love you, I love you! After 6 months: Of course, I love you. After 6 years: If I didn't love you, then why did I marry you? Back from Work: After 6 weeks: Honey, I'm home! After 6 months: I'm BACK!! After 6 years: Have you cooked yet...

My next-door neighbour Mzee Kamau had an argument with his wife who got too angry, packed her bags and went back to her parents home. Unfortunately for Mrs. Kamau, she had to pass her husband's home everyday as she went to and from work and even to the shops. Days passed and still Mrs...

Little Johnny was playing in the farm yard one good morning. The chickens were out running around, and getting in Little Johnny's way. In a temper tantrum he started running after them and kicking them. His mother caught him kicking the chickens and said ''that's it! No eggs for you for one...

Mahakamani. Kijana wa miaka 22 anashitakiwa kumbaka bibi kizee wa watu. Hakimu: Bibi hebu ieleze mahakama kilichotokea. Bibi Kizee: Nimelala nyumbani kwangu usiku wa manane, Mlango unavunjiliwa mbali na anaingia huyu kijana, aliyesimama pale. Hakimu: Endelea, Bibi. Bibi Kizee: Si akanivua...