Worst Dates Experiences( Vidate Vilivododa)!!!!!! Kubwa Gani Lilishakukuta!

Pale unapotumia "gari la swahiba wako" ukijifanya ni lako ili umpate kimwana matawi, bila kujua swahiba wako ni binamu wa hicho kimwana na huyo swahiba mwenyewe kaazima hilo gari kwa kakaake kimwana...

Hapa tunazungumzia nini? Hebu niitieni Kaizer mie......

Hahahaaaaaaaaa! Babuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!
 
Wakubwa zangu shikamooni!!!!!

Niajeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ujue bana First dates zinakuwaga nzito sana kwa watu wengi, especially kwetu Uswazii huku sababu you show who you realy are from day 1, thats courrage and honour! Wenyewe tunasema Be your self, no body should put you down! We are proud of who we are! Sasa tukikutana na Tour Drive guys hapo ndo ya kale yanapokutana na ya sasa!

My Worst (Not worst of the worst) ila inaniumaga mpaka kesho kutwa! Bana weee! It was way back in the days! Enzi za uniform, basi bwana hapo exposure 0 kabisaa, watu bado hawajaanza kwenda Dubai na Us waje watutoe ushamba kidogo. I met this chalii shuleni bwana, sasa kiskonga mtu unaweza kumuona normal ila kwao Nomerrrrrr!!! Au ukamuona noumerrrr kumbe kawaida sanaaa!!!! Basi akanialika dinner hotelini, Mi nikajilipua na nguo zangu za kicheckbob, jeans na topu chini sandals! Mi nikajua sisi wawili tu! Kufika bwana weeeee! Family dinner, watu na familia zao! Isingukuwa wameniona ningepiga Uturn! They were way outta my league!!!! Hawakua harsh ila they had style n class, kujishaua sasa, french wine wanazipronounce exactly, english slang, glass inashikwa na vidole, kuku analiwa kwa umma!!!! Mijicho ilinitoka kama mjusi kabanwa na mlango!!!! Aisee nilitesekaje sasa, ila nilikomaaa mwanzo mwisho. Chezea quick leaner!!!!! Kingereza cha kibongo, mda wote kimyaaa, nimebaki Yes! No! Ofcourse! masaa 3 niliona kama siku! Ilinibidi nimuombe yule bwana asiniseme shule maakeee!!!!! Na anifundishe civilization kidogo! Sitosahau!!!!!!!!

My bros worst experience!!!! Kuna kidada kiliamia kitaa toka arusha, kidogodogo, portable ukikiona kipoleee! Basi akakiibukia wakapanga wakutane bar! (Mtaani kwetu hatuna gharama mwanaume kama unamtaka humzungushiii/ kumkomoa) Kufika yeye kaagiza castle ya wasomi, bi dada Safari Lager! Mmmmh! Akaona ngoja aone mwishowe! Yeye 3 mwenzie tano, mkavuuuu! Jicho kodooo! Kufika ya 5 network zinakatika katika mwenzie gado!!!! Mwishowe akzima kabisaaa! Bi dada kamkokota kamrudisha hadi home, huyo kaondoka!!!!! Aibu yake kesho asubuhi kidogo ahame nyumba!!! Kama pombe usiwezi achaaa, mambo gani ya kukokotwa na kidada! LOLEST!!! Hakumtongoza tenaaa! Kashika adabu yake ikamshika!

WHAT WAS YOUR WORST EXPERIANCE!!!!!?

Hehhee umenikumbusha mbali sana......nakumbuka kule arusha kuna demu mmoja tulikua wote chuo flani hivi......kwa kweli alikua kasimama.....siku moja akanialika niende kwao......mchaga mimi nikapanda basi mpaka Arusha.....kipindi hicho simu za mkononi hamna.... basi kijana nikaenda mpaka kule sekei juu.......nikafika sehemu aliponiagiza nikaulizia jina la kwao nikaonyeshwa..kata kona ya kwanza...kuna geti jeusi ndo hapo..

Hodiiii...hodiii.... marageti likafunguliwa.....bonge la nyumba....jumba lenyewe limezungukwa na shamba... basi yule mlinzi akanielekeza kwene nyumba...he! nakutana uso kwa uso na mzee mmoja ameshiba kakaa kwenye kiti cha uvivu..akaniuliza

Nikusaidie nini kijana..
Shikamoo mzeee..nilikua namuulizia ....
Ahaaa..wewe ni mtoto wa nani....
Du! Nikataja jina la kwetu..... basi mzee kasearch kwenye ubongo akaona huyu kamsanyange tu huyu masikini hana kitu...
Basi akaeuka nyuma akaita jina la mkaka nafikiri alikua house boy.... kaka akaja..mimi si nikajua anapewa maagizo anikaribishe ndani au aniletee kiti...

He! mzee si kaagiza jembe na shoka.......akaniambia Kijana ebu wakati unamsubiri kuna kakazi unisaidie hapa..
Aisee nililimama kama nusu saa ivi..nikaona isiwe shida...nikachukua shati langu....nikamwambia mzee narudi sasa ivi...akaniganda eti subiri anakuja sasa ivi...aaa wapi...
Yule demu nikampa kubwa...... bahati nzuri nilishamvuruga hivyo haikuuma sana kwangu.
 
Mie yuko mmoja alinialika dinner hoteli moja maarufu katikati ya jiji sasa sijui alinifanyia tathmini vibaya, kumbe pale huwa tunaenda dinner na familia mara kwa mara kwa sababu mdingi ana supply bidhaa flani flani pale hivyo tunajuana na meneja wa pale.

Tulipofika na kukaa akaja meneja kutusalimia kwa bashasha na baada ya kumtambulisha kuwa niko na rafiki for a date akatuzawadia chupa ya wine.

Jamaa aliishiwa nguvu maana hata mistari ilimshinda nikajikuta mie ndio mwenyeji.

Damnnnn!!!!!!!! That was so rude of you!!!!!!
 
Hahahaaaaaaa! Hapo kwenye BOLD bado napatafutia tafsiri yake huku ofisini kwa kumuuliza kila mtu, nisaidie ni kilugha gani? Siwezi kuachia kujua maana yake!

Mtafute Bishanga,

Dada yao mmoja alinifundisha enzi za ujana wangu.
 
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Ha ha ha ha!! huu uzi bana nimeupenda sana, unanikumbusha siku moja pande za wapi hizo bana, mbagala charambeeeeeeeeeee mtoto ndani ya nissan hard body double cabin, kikazi zaidi na ina nembo kibao za kampuni, basi nikasema ngoja nistue thupu kidogo
aaaaaaaah kwa raha zangu, lete kuku kidali, chapati 2 na ndimu ya kutosha, si unajua jana yake nilikuwa nimelala promo so inabidi kuweka zege murua. mara heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaa toto likaingia bana, **** **** haswaaaa, mtoto kala jeans limemkaa, juu katupia top kali mbayaa,
kijana nikaona isiwe ishu, basi wakati muhudumu anamfuata nikamwita na kumwambia namuomba mezani kwangu kama hatajali!!!! bi dada bana hakuwa na hiana, kwa mwendo wa paka, wathungu wanaita "cat walk" huyo akatinga kwa meza. mi aaaaaah swadapta, agiza unachijisikia bi dada, ruksa vikali, baridi, jikoni au nini
mara haya, kuna kongoro? muhudumu "zipo!!" bi dada yuko naomba kongoro 2, chapati 2, nikaona mh kazi imeanza. Nikamkolezea, na kinywaji wakuletee nini??! bi dada yuko, naomba Guiness ya baridi na Konyagi ndogo!!
Ha ha ha, mwanaume macho kodooooo, guess kilichofuata
I just paid the bill and had an excuse

Hahahaaaaaaaaa!!!!! Ulitaka kulimia Jembe kwenye lami!!!!!!! Tafuta CATAPILLER!!!
 
hahahahah kuna watu wako standby kusubiri siri za jeshi.....nimeghair ngoja nkalale...usiku mwema kwenu nyote...roho wa bwana awe nanyi na awalinde usiku huu....

Lete picha hilooooo! mimi niko standby nangojea mambo!
 
Hehhee umenikumbusha mbali sana......nakumbuka kule arusha kuna demu mmoja tulikua wote chuo flani hivi......kwa kweli alikua kasimama.....siku moja akanialika niende kwao......mchaga mimi nikapanda basi mpaka Arusha.....kipindi hicho simu za mkononi hamna.... basi kijana nikaenda mpaka kule sekei juu.......nikafika sehemu aliponiagiza nikaulizia jina la kwao nikaonyeshwa..kata kona ya kwanza...kuna geti jeusi ndo hapo..

Hodiiii...hodiii.... marageti likafunguliwa.....bonge la nyumba....jumba lenyewe limezungukwa na shamba... basi yule mlinzi akanielekeza kwene nyumba...he! nakutana uso kwa uso na mzee mmoja ameshiba kakaa kwenye kiti cha uvivu..akaniuliza

Nikusaidie nini kijana..
Shikamoo mzeee..nilikua namuulizia ....
Ahaaa..wewe ni mtoto wa nani....
Du! Nikataja jina la kwetu..... basi mzee kasearch kwenye ubongo akaona huyu kamsanyange tu huyu masikini hana kitu...
Basi akaeuka nyuma akaita jina la mkaka nafikiri alikua house boy.... kaka akaja..mimi si nikajua anapewa maagizo anikaribishe ndani au aniletee kiti...

He! mzee si kaagiza jembe na shoka.......akaniambia Kijana ebu wakati unamsubiri kuna kakazi unisaidie hapa..
Aisee nililimama kama nusu saa ivi..nikaona isiwe shida...nikachukua shati langu....nikamwambia mzee narudi sasa ivi...akaniganda eti subiri anakuja sasa ivi...aaa wapi...
Yule demu nikampa kubwa...... bahati nzuri nilishamvuruga hivyo haikuuma sana kwangu.

Hhahahaha.....Aisee yu have made my day! Nimecheka kwa sauti humu ofsin kwa story yako...hii usiache kuwasimulia wajukuu...LOL

KWELI JF IS NEVER BORING as per THE BOSS
 
Hhahahaha.....Aisee yu have made my day! Nimecheka kwa sauti humu ofsin kwa story yako...hii usiache kuwasimulia wajukuu...LOL

KWELI JF IS NEVER BORING as per THE BOSS

Hahaha.....This is true...hata wife nshamuadisiaga......... siwezi kuisahau aisee.. yule mzee alishafariki Apumzike kwa amani.
 
hapana sikua muhanga.....

tena nilikuwa na marafiki machakaramu ile mbaya...ila sijui nilikuwa zobaaa? yaani nashukuru sikujanjaruka kabisa aisee.....Mungu alisaidia...



Safi sana BADILI TABIA,

Kuna mtu alinambia kuwa wadada waliokuwa wakali wa shule walijikuta kama wamepata temporary impotence,

Na wewe ulikuwa mhanga??

Babu DC!!
 
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By bhikola

Ha ha ha ha!! huu uzi bana nimeupenda sana, unanikumbusha siku moja pande za wapi hizo bana, mbagala charambeeeeeeeeeee mtoto ndani ya nissan hard body double cabin, kikazi zaidi na ina nembo kibao za kampuni, basi nikasema ngoja nistue thupu kidogo
aaaaaaaah kwa raha zangu, lete kuku kidali, chapati 2 na ndimu ya kutosha, si unajua jana yake nilikuwa nimelala promo so inabidi kuweka zege murua. mara heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyaaaaaaaa aaaa toto likaingia bana, **** **** haswaaaa, mtoto kala jeans limemkaa, juu katupia top kali mbayaa,
kijana nikaona isiwe ishu, basi wakati muhudumu anamfuata nikamwita na kumwambia namuomba mezani kwangu kama hatajali!!!! bi dada bana hakuwa na hiana, kwa mwendo wa paka, wathungu wanaita "cat walk" huyo akatinga kwa meza. mi aaaaaah swadapta, agiza unachijisikia bi dada, ruksa vikali, baridi, jikoni au nini
mara haya, kuna kongoro? muhudumu "zipo!!" bi dada yuko naomba kongoro 2, chapati 2, nikaona mh kazi imeanza. Nikamkolezea, na kinywaji wakuletee nini??! bi dada yuko, naomba Guiness ya baridi na Konyagi ndogo!!
Ha ha ha, mwanaume macho kodooooo, guess kilichofuata
I just paid the bill and had an excuse

kulaaleeeki, we ulijua ni lisistaduu kumbe limburulaaa!!!hahahahahahahaaa
 
Huu uzi umenipa kumbu kumbu siku moja nikiwa zangu safarini Shinyanga kufika mida ya jioni nikamuomba mwenyeji wangu anielekeze mahala walipo watoto wakali wanisaidie kupunguza makali ya usiku.Akaniambia anazo sana akampigia aliyekuwa Miss Shinyanga wakati huo.

Sista duu akaja na rafiki zake tukaenda Butiama(Ukumbi wa starehe) ku-dance mpaka alfajiri then wakasema twende tukatafute supu.Wakatupeleka eneo husika na kuagiza supu ya hovyo ambayo sijawahi kuona mimi na mwenza ngu ilitushinda so walikula supu zao wakavamia na za kwetu halafu wakashushia Mizinga miwili ya Konyagi baada ya hapo sikumbui ni nini kilinitokea ila nilijikuta niko Kahama.
 
Fifteeeennnnnnn!!!!!!!!!! What a player! I guess bado hujampata huyo the One!
lara 1...do u really mean it calling me a player!??

I had all those dates and more (which i dont count as first dates) but mind you not all of them led to doing to doable! However, all those that led to such pleasure were strictly on mutual agreement with no further promises made!!!

Now, do u still consider me a player? think again..


Oh n btw, I have found my ONE... one September 2010 afternoon...but it took me another yr to finally convince her!! (and with her, we actually never had a 'first' date!)
 
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Hehhee umenikumbusha mbali sana......nakumbuka kule arusha kuna demu mmoja tulikua wote chuo flani hivi......kwa kweli alikua kasimama.....siku moja akanialika niende kwao......mchaga mimi nikapanda basi mpaka Arusha.....kipindi hicho simu za mkononi hamna.... basi kijana nikaenda mpaka kule sekei juu.......nikafika sehemu aliponiagiza nikaulizia jina la kwao nikaonyeshwa..kata kona ya kwanza...kuna geti jeusi ndo hapo..

Hodiiii...hodiii.... marageti likafunguliwa.....bonge la nyumba....jumba lenyewe limezungukwa na shamba... basi yule mlinzi akanielekeza kwene nyumba...he! nakutana uso kwa uso na mzee mmoja ameshiba kakaa kwenye kiti cha uvivu..akaniuliza

Nikusaidie nini kijana..
Shikamoo mzeee..nilikua namuulizia ....
Ahaaa..wewe ni mtoto wa nani....
Du! Nikataja jina la kwetu..... basi mzee kasearch kwenye ubongo akaona huyu kamsanyange tu huyu masikini hana kitu...
Basi akaeuka nyuma akaita jina la mkaka nafikiri alikua house boy.... kaka akaja..mimi si nikajua anapewa maagizo anikaribishe ndani au aniletee kiti...

He! mzee si kaagiza jembe na shoka.......akaniambia Kijana ebu wakati unamsubiri kuna kakazi unisaidie hapa..
Aisee nililimama kama nusu saa ivi..nikaona isiwe shida...nikachukua shati langu....nikamwambia mzee narudi sasa ivi...akaniganda eti subiri anakuja sasa ivi...aaa wapi...
Yule demu nikampa kubwa...... bahati nzuri nilishamvuruga hivyo haikuuma sana kwangu.

Hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa., hii ni kali kuliko zote., nimecheka hadi machozi asess, huyo mzee alikuwa nouma dadadeki
 
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