Why did I get married?


Thanks mamii! posti yako imenigusa sana
 

Why I got married or Why did I get married????
 
Do Women Get Married Just To Have A Wedding?

Written by Lauren Minogue on May 28, 2011 11:00 am
Would you get married, just to get married?
Obviously, nobody wants to believe that maybe they would say “yes” to a marriage proposal, just to have a wedding and for the thrill of writing “Mrs” next to your name, but according to Shine, a survey conducted by therapist Jennifer Gauvain, found that 30% of now-divorced women say they knew in their gut they were making a mistake as they walked down the aisle; but they did it anyway!
So the question is; why? Why go through with a wedding, if you know that something’s not right in the relationship beforehand?
Shine’s articles argues that the fairy-tale view of love and romance we have instilled in us as children is to blame, for as Gauvain notes; “we are raised with an unrealistic impression of what love is supposed to look like… Girls read fairy tales where the woman gets saved by the prince, and when they’re older, the same message is enforced through romantic comedies where love always prevails, despite impossible scenarios. So women learn that love can always work, even when it’s unhealthy.”
While I agree with that to an extent, it seem like a cop out to me. Yes, everyone want to believe that a storybook romance will happen for them and they will be the next Kate Middleton or even just end up like Amber Rose and Toya Carter, with a career and buckets of cash from the relationship, but what good is it if you’re Kate Middleton but not in love with your husband, or he’s not in love with you? (remember Princess Diana, anyone?) You might have the ring and an awesome party, but is it worth it?
In my opinion, the marrying just to get married and have a wedding thing, has more to do with competition and “winning” than a desire for a fairytale romance. One of my girls, Tori, is currently dating a guy who is going to be deported back to Canada. He suggested they get married so he can stay in the country, but wait for it, she “shouldn’t get the wrong idea, it’s not a real marriage,” (yes, I know, what an ass.) But the real kicker is, she wants to go ahead with it, and is telling everyone that she’s getting married and she even bought herself a ring. To a lady in the elevator the other day who congratulated her on the ring, she boasted about how romantic the proposal was and how excited she was for the wedding. To my raised eyebrows, and to answer the question that I hadn’t yet asked but was about to, about why she was settling for a guy who clearly treats her like a doormat, she said; “what? You don’t understand, you’re just mad at him, cos’ I got engaged first.”
Oh yeah, that must be it.
But her comment got me wondering if there really is a big competition to not be the last one of your friends to get married? Sadly, I think that there is still pressure to not be the last single girl standing. Has anyone seen the fight that breaks out when a bride throws the bouquet? I still don’t know why though; is it a showing off thing? Is it about proving that you’ve grown up? Is getting married still one of the ways we use to measure success, and if you don’t have the husband, then you haven’t really achieved?
Or is it just to be the one who has the most beautiful wedding dress, the best party and the most handsome husband, to ensure the most fabulous wedding photos? I would like to think that we wouldn’t get married for one day, one dress, one party, but 30% of divorced women and shows like “Bridezillas” and “4 Weddings” seem to disagree…
What do you think?
 
Ruta naona umeamua topic ituelemee wadada... ngoja tu nikimbie... sina energy hio...
 
Zipo sababu mingi.................................to get married and have a wedding, though..........................

a) Kuwatambia marafiki na jamaa wajue ya kuwa umewasili.....................
b) kuthibitishiana penzi na mume mtarajiwa.........
c) Hulka ya kupenda msisimko wa sherehe kama ilikuwepo........................
d) Kuweka mfano mzuri wa kuigwa na jamii na uzao wako
e) Kuwafurahisha wazazi ya kuwa waliwapa malezi mazuri.........
f) kufuata mkumbo........mbona hata fulani walifunga ndoa na kumwaga ya radhi ya bonge la harusi.....................kiasi ni mashindano..................
g) Sheria ya ndoa na stahili zake...............................................
i) Msukumo wa imani za kiroho au za kimila na desturi....................................
j) kumbukumbu ya kuwa nasi tulikuwa nazo au bado tunazo...........................
K) harusi kuwa mradi wa kujiongezea kipato kutokana na michango ya mateja wa nderemo zake...............
l) Mengineyo nje ya hayo yote.......................................
 
Gabrielle Union On Dwayne Wade: "No Baby Without A Wedding"

Written by Hello Beautiful Staff on March 9, 2011 5:15 pm
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Gabrielle Union doesn't often reveal details about her relationship with boyfriend Dwyane Wade, but she recently divulged a few to HipHollywood on their future: marriage, kids, and a possible reality show.
On Marriage & Kids
"We're just happy, so whatever comes down the road is down the road. And it'll be in order. There would be a wedding before there would be a bambino, so all these reports of mystery babies that they like to keep giving me – there'll be no baby until you've heard about a wedding."
On A Possible Reality Show
"I pay my own bills, first off, so I've never put myself in a position to have to be jackass or to have to sell myself down the river for a reality show. I was just raised a little differently and my situation is a lot different being that I have my own career, my own celebrity status on my own, independent, and before him. But, I don't knock anybody's hustle, it's just not my path."
 
Hio post hapo badala ya ku concentrate kusoma... i miss Michelle...
Tomorrow will read them effectively... I feel like am in Intelligence forums

Very nice posts by the way Ruta...
 
Code: 
Hio post hapo badala ya ku concentrate kusoma... i miss Michelle...
Tomorrow will read them effectively... I feel like am in Intelligence forums
 
Very nice posts by the way Ruta...

Thank you.....4 everything and in everyway........................
 
muwatch why did i get married na why did i get married too....
Movie nzuri sana hizo za kimahusiano na ndoa...
Kwa kifupi its all about LOVE.....dats de only thing which can shikilia ndoa iwe ya furaha kwa muda mrefu, kwa sababu hata mkigombana, LOVE huja solve matatizo, hata mkitaka fanyiana mambo mabaya, LOVE huingilia kati na kutunza ndoa yenu
 
I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change

Written by The Fiancé on May 31, 2011 12:45 pm
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I am getting married soon, and that means I have to change. How did I learn this? Well, my fiancee told me so (which means it must be true). And as if to reinforce it, our pre-marital counselor (who I've decided gives hand signals to my fiancee during our sessions) has also told me that I must change. I'm all for change. I mean…I'm for Obama and his whole message is about change, so I'm down with the whole change thing. My problem is…I can't figure out what's wrong with me the way I am.
Luckily for me, I don't have to figure it out. My fiancee has put me on notice that I am, apparently, too linear and not emotional enough. Because the therapist knew I wasn't sure about my lady's assessment, she confirmed this for me. I have to think more with my heart and less with my brain. On top of being too linear, I'm also a first-class jerk. This hasn't been confirmed by the therapist yet, but my fiancee is just about sure of it and, since she's sure, I'm sure. Granted, she hasn't admitted it to me. In fact, she tells me she doesn't think I'm a jerk all the time. Yet, given the option during any given situation to think the best of me or the worst of me, she thinks the worst. I've stopped fighting it. As Popeye would say, I yam what I yam.
Being engaged isn't all bad. It's nice having someone in your corner who's always there for you (as long as you do what they want). I've also really gotten into learning more about myself and my inability to communicate. The best part, though, is having a whole new family whose rules and regulations you have to learn so you don't mistakenly offend anyone by showing up late to a sit-down brunch on Mother's Day. Being engaged is grand!
Are Marriages No Longer "Forever" But Instead, "For The Next Few Years?"
Does A Happy Man Turn You Off?
 
Be married 4 love and you will enjoy the relationship..........................but for other reasons you will enjoy them as they come to screeching halt..............
 

Nakuunga mkono na mguu wengi wanaoa/wanaolewa kutokana na peer pressure pamoja na family pressure sijui unaolewa lini and other blah blah yani inaboa mpaka basi.im talking from experience here mi nishaulizwa mpaka nimechoka matokeo yake nitachoka kuulizwa na kuamua kukubali kuolewa na mtu ambae simpendi kivile ili mradi nipumzike maswali.
 


So modest...
 
Does A Happy Man Turn You Off?

Written by shardegilliam on May 28, 2011 6:00 pm
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As much as we hate to admit it, as women, we love bad boys. The thrill and excitement of dating a rebel intrigues us, and keeps us on our toes in a relationship. The good news is that we're not alone. A recent study was taken on the effects of smiling and sexual attractiveness. Men rated women and women rated men in four categories: 1) happy (smiling) 2) proud (with arms raised overhead) 3) ashamed (with eyes downcast) 4) neutral (staring straight ahead, expressionless).
The results are fascinating. Men rated happy women the highest and proud women the lowest while women on the other hand rated proud men the highest and happy men the lowest. Researches attribute these results to the stereotype that smiling is considered feminine and submissive. Women like strong men and "happy men" who are always smiling appear to be weak. It sort of gives a new meaning to the phrase "nice guys finish last" doesn't it? Interesting…
Do you agree?

Read more here.
 
Ruta you must be kidding... and a happy man (overrated happy ) turns me off!
Click to expand...

Ni kipimo cha wastani..............mwanaumme anayecheka cheka sana aonekna is not sexy...looks too feminine.................to the comfort zones of gals.................gals like a rebel...........................a guy whom they seldom know where they stand with .........but a predictable guy like me bores them stiff........................gals are looking for a challenge but not monotony..............................so a rebel renamed bad boy is the sexiest thing a gal can drool for....................
 
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