Now is bitter than yesterday.
Nikagutuka kutoka kwenye lundo la mawazo niliokuwa nayo, ilikuwa sfari ndefu sana yenye kutia uchungu mzito sanaaaa. Nikapanda kitandani kujilaza kwanza maana mda ulikuwa umeenda sana na kesho kazini, nikaikumbuka simu yangu, nikakuta 20 missed calls Kucheki hivi Joey.
Nikasema hachoki tu huyu nae, nikalala. Ile nafumba macho tu, Joey akapiga tena, nikaamua kupokea, basi ndo ikawa lawama mtindo moja. Joey akalalamika "Nimeenda pale kwako niemambiwa mehama, kwanini umehama usiku usiku na kwa kujifichaaa. Unadhani sitokupata. I will always find you." Jamani kuna wanaume wa ajabuuuu si kidogo. "Joey you shouldnt find me, you should forget me, matter of fact you shouldnt know me, unaniletea matatizo makubwa sanaaaa. Kwanini hutaki kuelewa. Kuna siku Amar atakuja kukupiga risasi kweli kweli. Atakuja kukua, i know him, i have seen him do terrible things.". "Sikiz Sidney mi Amar simuogopi hata kidogo, he can be a criminal, but there are laws in this country,i aint afraid of his criminal ass one bit. And i cant ignore the fact that he is treating you bad, i just cant keep quiet." "You should be afraid of him Joey you should while you still can".
Nikiwa bado napigizana kelele na Joey nikasikia mlango unafunguliwa, nikastukaaaa sio kidogo, maana bora ahata mwizi anahangaika yaani ni mtu anaingiza codes za mlango kama kwake. Nikatulia kwanza. Nikasikia Babeeeeeeeee! Kumbe Amar. Nikachukia na hivi tulikuwa na beef. "Umefata nini sahizi usiku majumbani mwa watu?" Akaniangalia "woooo woooo, watch your toungue lady, just because i have been going soft on you allowing you to have a little taste of equality dont get he wrong idea you can ran me arround. 1st of all this is my house, i rented it in your name, dont forget who is buying you this life. I can come here any day, any time i want and dont let me catch any fool with you in my house, there will be blood shed and you will be responsible."
Sawa Amar umefta nini tuanzie hapo? Nimekuja kikazi hapa sidney, nimekupeleka pale bank kwa ajili ya mambo yangu, mambo yetu, tulikubaliana kwamba unipe inside information za yule muhindi singa singa, mpaka leo kwenye account zake kuna shingi ngapi. Ile transaction ya china asha wire hela au bado, na kama tayari ni shilingi ngapi. Why is it taking you fucking long"
Sikiza Amar, i told you i am retired, done, after i broke up with you and told you i am moving on, i meant from everything including your trashy life. If you wanna pull out a job, do it your self and go and rot in jail your self. I am done. And i aint afraid of you no more. And this is not your house,and you aint doing me any favors either, this is my cut from the jos we pulled togther, i was dumb not to ask you of my cut but not anymore.
Hahaaaaa! Sydney the dumb girl now growing balls on me, bich you forgot all i have done for you this short while, now you know your rights and you want them. Girl dont get foolish. Fine! kama bado umekasirika na yule Mima, come on, you have always been my main chick, ile ni ajali kazini, it was one time thing and i have said sorry more than even Japan has said sorry to China in the past 50 yrs for world war 2.
Usisahau i forgave you far more terrible things in your life, like not coming to see me even for a single day for all 6 months nilizofungwa Moshi, while i was rotting in jail, you blew up all my money with Joey boy, and when i came out i didnt say shit, not even once, all the time, i got news of you and Joey and my people wanted to whack Joey for me, for doing their boss's girl while i was doing time, and guess who stopped them, me, cause i knew someone had to take care of you while i am inside. You were too dumb to live by your self.
I get it you mad at me, you need time, ill give you time. But i need those details, i am pulling one last big job, then we are going to be a normal familly. Fanya unipatie hizo details nahitaji. Ill be going. " Akatoka zake na kuondoka nikabaki kimya kwanza ntafakari picha zima lilivoenda.
Ofcousrse he was locked up, kwa tukio la ujambazi ambalo tulishirikiana wote, angeweza kunichoma na mimi, but he didnt, na alivokuwa ndani miezi yote 6 sikuwahi kwenda kumuona, wala kuwasiliana nae, i dont know why but i just didnt an couldnt. Ilianza hivi.
"Sidney umesema ofisini wenu sikuku ya mwaka huu imeangukia alamisi na kutakuwa na mauzo makubwa sanaa ya bia, na hautaweza kwenda bank mpaka jumatatu. Sasa jumapili sisi ndo tunavamia na kuiba hizo pesa zote sawa, tutaingiaje hio juu yangu, we unachotakiwa ufanye ni upang pesa zote juu ya meza nje ya safe, afu uende chooni, ukishaenda chooni ni beep. i dont want to take chances with you being in the room and that you are dumb things may get complicated. I wanted to ask so many questions but i couldnt he taught me NEVER ASK ANY QUESTIONS, NEVER DOUBT ME. If you what i tell you everything will be okay. So i had no options tha to agree.
Kweli siku hio, nikiwa na cahsier nikamwambia toa hela zote, akaziweka mezani tuzihesbu hio jumapili ili kesho asubuhi niziwahishe bank, tumehasabu, kufika katikati mkojo ukanibana nikamuaga naenda toilet. Nikabmeep. Nikiwa chooni nikasikia ukunga, nikabana chooni kama walivonielekeza. Baadae akani beep tena, nikatoka nikakuta strong strong room wamejikojolea, esa zimeibiwa zote, nikajifanyakupanic, piga sim polisi.
Sikuonana na Amar kwa siku kama 5, huku kazini ikawa kimbembe, wote tukawekwa ndani, hojiwaaa hojiwaaa na weweee. Hakuna dhamana. Kilichonisaidia Finance manager akanitetea huyu bwana akili zake zipo slow sanaa, sio mtu wa kuweza kuchora tukio kama hilo wala kushirikiana, nyie si mnamuona alivo. Mnamuonea tu. Kazi zake anafanya vizuri sanaana ila hana akili kubwa hivo ya kuwaza mambo kumi wakati mmoja. Polisi anakomaa huyu kwanini aende chooni wakati wezi wanaiba. Boss anatetea huyu itakuwa alikuwa chooni alivosikia risasi labda hata alizima huko chooni, ndo navokwambia hana ujasiri wowote huyu. Polisi wakaona kweli huenda sihusiki maana wakapata file langu la kuugua sana utotoni wakajiridhisha sikuhusika. Sasa sikujua boss alinitetea genuine au kuna mkono wa Amar alimpa boss fungu anitoe sijui. Ila wengine walisota ndani mpaka miezi 8.
Baadae Amr kaja kuniambia kazi ilikuwa ya maana walipiga kama millioni 400 na visenti kadhaa. Nikamwambia Amar zinatosha tuanzishe familia, weunafanya bank, mimi huku kwenye soda, tutaishi vizuri tu. Amar kama kawaida yake hatosheki na anapenda maisha ya juu sanaaa. Akasema hela hazitoshi, inabidi kuna kazi ingine hapo bank wapo kama watu 4 kuna deal la kupiga million 800, then na zile 100 alizopewa kwenye mgao wa ofisini kwetu tutakuwa na million 300 we will start a family but not here, America baby. America.
Kweliin 2 months i dont know how, why or when the dela was done he had the money with him. As most banks they like to keep things quiet as possible, he walked without a scratch. Ofcourse he was fired with all the others in th branch, but we had the millions with us, life was always sweet.Then there was another job, and another job.
Before i know it they had him, the police had him. I tried getting help from my dad, he saidi he shoul rot in jail, and i should find a good man and marry him. His lawyer told me he wont be comming out anytime soon. He is sued by the United Republic of Tanzania on several charges, the minimum he will serve maybe 30 yrs. He tod me, if i had his money i should move on get a life for me, and this time stay on the good side of the law.
I was you and naive, with flithy rich bank account i didnt know where to start. Batuli wa married with 2 kids, life had already passed her and left her behin. I coudnt go to her. I was lost once again. I have always been with Amar since Joey maybe and Phesto, forget about Phesto for now. Maybe i should find Joey and pick up where we left.
I found Joey or Joey found me, it doesnt matter, but we had it going for a while. And Joey was into investiment, he will open a bar, and it will not have customers and he would close it in 2 weeks and forget about all the initial investiment. He will be certain he wants to open a building material business, he went to china, took a loan from Amars money of which people loaned him the items and never paid. The business died too. I was trying to betheir for him, with Amars money, i wanted him to marry me so i never saw anything wrong with his misuse of funds.
Before i know it, my dad broke it out to me i was broke, MC Harmer broke, Joey had used all the money from Amars saving. I was broke until one day Amars aunt came for schoolfees for Amars young sister and there wasnt any. She looked at me and told me "Amar will come out, maybe not today, or not tomorrow but he eventually will come out, and if he does you should be gone, like the money, i dont know what he will do to you but you should be gone, i am telling you as a mother." Nikakaa tu pale na kumtolea mijicho si kidogo.
I knew Joey will save m from Amar if he ever come out which is 30 years later. Life with Joey was not so good but i just stayed with him anyways. Life was pretty mch boring and nothing was happening but Joey was there. And Malika was still on to Joey but she was too broke for his liking. Head Girl was in the US calling Joey from now and then,and Ghatti was married with kids. Lifa had really passed.
As i was just getting comfortable one day i got a call from Lawyer, akaniambia tu, sijui nikwmbie nini, mwenyewe sikutegemea, ila Joey amepata msamaha wa raisi wa siku ya Uhuru, na ameachiliwa huru. Navokwambia yupo kitaa tayari. Sasa sijui ufanyaje. TUmbo la kuhara lilinibana. Kumtafuta Joey akaniambia "Sidney nisamehe but me kesho usku naondoka, HG kanifanyia mpango wa chuo Marekani, kila kitu tayari. Nikamuomba anichukue na mimi, akasema kwa sasa haiwezekani ila akiwek mambo sawa atanifanyia mpango niende. Just like that he left me.
Nikaacha kazi kwa woga wa Amar, nikawa nangoja aje anipotezeee basi, mana nikajua mpaka sasa ashajua hela zake nimezifuja fuja. Baba anagomba huku anasikitika hata haieleweki. Akashindwa kuvumilia. Akamfata Amar kwao, maybe to wrok out some kind of plan amlipe hela zake million 500 na visneti. Hana hio hela sasa sijui alitegemea amlipaje. Amar akakataa kuonana nae, akaishia kuongea na wakubwa zake Amar il hamna muafaka uliopatikana maana ndugu pia waliumia he ya Amar kuliwa na mwanamke ndo kwanza wanamwambia Amar ai haki yako.
Nikawa nishakata tamaa kabisaa, najua mda wowote Amar ananipata.Hata nikienda mjini naenda kama mfu naetembea sina amani kabisaaa. Ikapita miezi 2, nanyatia nyatia tu maisha, nikaanz akuhisi huenda kanisamehe au sijui aje, ila woga ukaanza kunipunguaaa. Nikawa nazurura fresh kabisaaa.
Siku iso na jina, gari hii hapa mbele yangu, niko peke yangu, Nikasikia ingia kwenye gari, Amar huyo, nikawa tu mpole, nifanyaje sasa mambo yashaharibika. Anaendesha kuelekea nje ya mji. Nikawaza tu anaenda kunitoa roho. Nikataka nianze kumuomba msamaha sijui nifanyaje nikakosa nguvu, nikaamua basi bwana kama ahsaamua kunipoteza nifanyaje sasa. Ukawa mwendo wa kimya kimya.
Akavunja ukimya "Dont you have nothing to say to me? Like where the hell were you for the past 8 months, no phone call, no visit, nothing. You didnt get my messages from all those people i sent to you to come and see me. you thought i wasnt gonna come out, well i am out now. start singing"
ITAENDELEA SAA 2 USIKU.