Vituko mitandaoni. Tupia chako

mzabzab said:

Huwezi kubuninkila stye weye peke....variety is the spice of life

Click to expand...

Ndo maana kuna YouTube & company aise

Ukiona manyoya ujue kashaliwa 😁

antimatter said:

Ndo maana kuna YouTube & company

Click to expand...

Dah tupo tofauti...yaani mie mke wangu bila kugegedwa nje naona kama nimekosea kuoa...yani hamna mwanaume mwengine anamtamani

Paka hakai kwa msela

mzabzab said:

Dah tupo tofauti...yaani mie mke wangu bila kugegedwa nje naona kama nimekosea kuoa...yani hamna mwanaume mwengine anamtamani

Click to expand...

🤣
Kweli, kwa hilo tunatofautiana

Mume na mke:​

Jamaa mmoja alizidiwa ghafla usiku wa manane akamwamsha mkewe..
Mume: amka haraka, piga simu hospitali kitengo cha dharura ambulance ije kunichukua nimezidiwa sana!
Mke: ohoo.. kumbe simu yangu haina salio, naomba password ya simu yako niifungue nipige..
Mume: Oohooo! Aah wapi... no, no, no.. wacha tu. Hata hivyo siyo kesi, kila nafsi itaonja mauti bhana..

Wadada:​

Mfalme Sulemani alikuwa na wake 700 na alichepuka (cheated) na vimada 300 . Mpenzi wako/Mume wako unamfumania na kimada mmoja tu ugomvi na amani inapotea ndani ya nyumba, unasimulia kuanzia padri, Mchungaji, ukoo wako mzima, mashoga, stress, vidonda vya tumbo, inapelekea mpaka unaokoka, eti kisa kamuonjesha mmoja.. Sasa akionjesha 700 si utapiga kambi Mirembe huko?!!! Wadada acheni HiZO😊

Mwl.RCT said:

View attachment 2341691​

Click to expand...

🤣🤣🤣
Duuh! Tozo noma..
Kada wa kijani anakamua hadi pu.mb..u😁

Penzi la kuku​

Penzi la kuku sekunde 2 ila vifaranga kibao..
Penzi la binadamu dakika nyingiiii hadi saa nzima Lakini mtoto 1 au 2.
Sasa, binadamu na kuku nani JEMBE?!!!
Ukiona jogoo popote wee piga saluti tuu😁

Mwaka juzi jamaa aliangalia mechi ya mpira na mkewe..​

WIFE: Baibie, yule ni nani? Ni Chris Brown??
HUSBAND: Yule ni Theo Walcott
WIFE: ile Yellow Card ni ya nini?

HUSBAND: ile ni ya Onyo, na Red Card inamaanisha mchezaji awache kucheza na atoke inje ya uwanja.
WIFE: Oooooh! Inakaa kama traffic light! Yellow- Ilani na Red – Simama
HUSBAND: Yeah yeah swity! Ndio hivyo.
WIFE: Na je Green Card??
HUSBAND: Aaaah! Hakuna kitu kama hicho.

WIFE: Nataka Arsenal ishinde world cup.
HUSBAND: [kimya]
WIFE: Ni nani yule mzee anakaa kama Mr. Bean??
HUSBAND: Yeees swity, yule ni kocha wa Arsenal, anaitwa Arsene Wenger.
WIFE: Oooooh! inamaanisha yule kocha mwengine ni Chelsea Wenger??
HUSBAND: [Kabadilisha channel]😁

Madhara ya kusinzia kwenye ibada​

Tukiwa kanisani majuzi, mdada mmoja alikuwa amesinzia , akaamka akasikia tu Pastor anasema:
” SIMAMA”
Yule dada akasimama akashangaa kanisa zima linamtizama kwa mshangao akiwemo mumewe, akaangalia kanisa zima akashtuka kujiona yeye peke yake ndiye aliyesimama..

Pastor akamwambia, wee dada endelea kusimama hivyo hivyo..,
Pastor: tumepata mmoja hadi sasa, huyo aliyesimama..

Pastor: Narudia kwa mara ya mwisho kwa ambaye hajaelewa..
” Kama wewe umewahi kumsaliti mwenza wako au bado unasaliti ndoa yako SIMAMA”
Binti akazima

antimatter said:

Wadada:​

Mfalme Sulemani alikuwa na wake 700 na alichepuka (cheated) na vimada 300 . Mpenzi wako/Mume wako unamfumania na kimada mmoja tu ugomvi na amani inapotea ndani ya nyumba, unasimulia kuanzia padri, Mchungaji, ukoo wako mzima, mashoga, stress, vidonda vya tumbo, inapelekea mpaka unaokoka, eti kisa kamuonjesha mmoja.. Sasa akionjesha 700 si utapiga kambi Mirembe huko?!!! Wadada acheni HiZO

Click to expand...

Mfalme Suleiman alifaidi sana aisee dooh mbususu 700, akifika ya 350 huku nyuma ya 200 si itakuwa ishaziba

Shimba ya Buyenze said:

More than asses?
View attachment 2340911

Click to expand...

Huyu dogo kichwa chake kama Jacob Zuma

Sent from my Nokia 5.1 Plus using JamiiForums mobile app

lyenyi said:

View attachment 2341076

Click to expand...

Bulldozer

Sent from my Nokia 5.1 Plus using JamiiForums mobile app

lyenyi said:

View attachment 2341077

Click to expand...

Ropokaji la Utopolo mapumzikoni

Sent from my Nokia 5.1 Plus using JamiiForums mobile app

Yeah, it would be better